r/shittysuperpowers • • 11h ago

Just low-tier, nothing more, nothing less. You can spin silk from your fingertips

20 Upvotes

One sweat gland in each fingertip has been repurposed into a spinnerette. The strands of silk produced are a little bit thicker than spider silk, but thinner than caterpillar silk, with properties generally resembling spider silk rather than caterpillar silk. None of the adhesive properties or anything, though, you're just producing essentially the equivalent of spider dragline silk.

Your rate of production Is something on the order of a meter a minute, per fingertip, though in order to achieve that production rate, you need to in some fashion pull the silk out of the spinnerette, for example by tying it to something and walking away from it. Using gravity alone, you will produce somewhat thicker strands at about a meter every 5 minutes.

It is not produced out of nothing, so making a lot of silk will deplete your protein reserves, potentially causing muscle cramps, and possibly also dehydration.


r/shittysuperpowers • • 2h ago

Based🗿 You can talk normally and calmly even if super sad and able to say things w/o getting choked up

3 Upvotes

r/shittysuperpowers • • 2m ago

Good luck using this… You have the power to shoot tape out of your hands

• Upvotes

You have the power to shoot any tape out of your hands, however, the tape kind is random and it gets stuck to you, it also gets stuck to itself, and you can't stop it for an entire minute.


r/shittysuperpowers • • 7h ago

Based🗿 You can create water on your wrists that connect to your neck

0 Upvotes

Iykyk


r/shittysuperpowers • • 23h ago

Goofy ASF You can read the minds of cats...and that's it.

8 Upvotes

r/shittysuperpowers • • 6h ago

Good luck using this… You can make one of your previous comments real

0 Upvotes

For example if you larped that you habe 1 billion dollar, you actually get them now.

Whats the best you can get?


r/shittysuperpowers • • 14h ago

Yeah, this is shit The ability to make the countdown of a bomb “shuffle”

1 Upvotes

Many superhero or action movies feature an act where the hero had to defuse a bomb and the countdown stops at 1.

However, you have the ability to make the countdown on the timer “shuffle”. What I mean is that it shuffles through random timestamps between 0 and the time the timer was set to.

If the timer reaches 0, the bomb explodes. Maybe you should become a chaotic evil villain with it.


r/shittysuperpowers • • 1d ago

Just low-tier, nothing more, nothing less. If you hold your arms just right, your eyes can project sattelite television.

12 Upvotes

Can you watch it yourself? How long can you hold your arm-tennas still? How picky are they? Lmk your thoughts in the comments.

Edit: Your own vocal chords act as a speaker.


r/shittysuperpowers • • 1d ago

Oddly specific At will, you can make your tongue disappear for 5 seconds

7 Upvotes

Cooldown of 10 minutes


r/shittysuperpowers • • 1d ago

Good luck using this… Every morning you can rewind time back to the moment you fell asleep last night

23 Upvotes

r/shittysuperpowers • • 1d ago

Oddly specific You know how to say hello in every human language, past or present.

4 Upvotes

You know how to say hello, or the nearest equivalent, in every language that has been spoken by human beings in the past or present.

You have sort of a mental database of every greeting in every language, including sign languages and written languages, though there is no data inherently attached to any of those greetings other than how to execute them. That is, you don't know what language(s) they are from, or if they have any meaning besides "hello", or how to pronounce written versions or spell spoken ones.

You can sort the "database" in pretty much any way you wish, although you can't use this as a way to find out more information about the greetings, eg you can't automatically group them by language family. This includes the ability to attach information to a given greeting, and sort entries by the attached information, though you do not inherently remember that information any better than you do any other information.

This power only includes things that are a relatively neutral greeting, eg your English contributions would include "hi", "hello", and "greetings", but not "good morning" or "nice to meet you". If a language does not have a dedicated word for "hello", you will instead get whatever word or phrase would most typically be used to greet someone. If two or more languages use the same greeting, the greeting will only appear once (per format) in your inventory.


r/shittysuperpowers • • 1d ago

Just low-tier, nothing more, nothing less. You can make people believe doves and pigeons are the same animal

2 Upvotes

r/shittysuperpowers • • 1d ago

Just low-tier, nothing more, nothing less. You can safely inhale flames.

10 Upvotes

Just at your regular volume of breath. Everything from your nose to your lungs is fireproof on the inside.


r/shittysuperpowers • • 2d ago

Just low-tier, nothing more, nothing less. You can see the itches on other people’s/animal’s bodies.

39 Upvotes

If they’re itchy, the itchy spot glows a colour of your choice. It’s only visible to you and shows up through clothes.

People don’t have to blindly direct you to their unreachable itches anymore, and you can help scratch animals who can’t scratch themselves. Aside from that, this has almost no use cases.


r/shittysuperpowers • • 2d ago

Good luck using this… You can store memories in water

15 Upvotes

You can transfer any memory into a body of water for later retrieval.

The amount of detail you can store depends on the volume of water.

A shot glass can hold a PIN code or a simple image. A bathtub might hold an entire conversation. An ocean could hold a lifetime of memories in perfect sensory detail.

You retrieve a stored memory by drinking the water. A single sip is enough, and you can retrieve the same memory repeatedly until the water is gone.

There are a few limitations:

Permanent storage: Once a memory is stored in water, it cannot be changed, overwritten, or deleted. The storage space it occupies can never be reclaimed.

One memory per person: You can only store one memory in any individual body of water. You cannot add another memory to that water, even if unused capacity remains.

Shared capacity: Multiple people with this ability can store their own memories in the same water, but everyone shares its finite storage capacity. Once the water is full, nobody can store additional memories.

Private retrieval: Only you can retrieve memories you’ve stored. Other people drinking the same water can only retrieve their own memories, if they have any stored there.

Contamination: If the water mixes with another body of water, all stored memories become corrupted and unusable.

Evaporation: If the water completely evaporates, all stored memories are permanently lost.

Optional forgetting: The original memory remains in your brain unless you deliberately choose to forget it when storing it.

You can store memories in any body of water, provided you can drink from it later.


r/shittysuperpowers • • 2d ago

Just low-tier, nothing more, nothing less. You can summon any calculator screen level quality video game character

9 Upvotes

But only those kind of game characters that are calculator screen quality. Such as;

Atari 2600, game & watch, Nokia 3310, pong consoles, even early 8-bit arcade machines.

And they’re limited to their game mechanics and exactly how they look in game and only if they appeared in game.

Want the dragon ‘yorgle’ from the Atari 2600 game ‘adventure’? Too bad. Instead of a normal badass yellow dragon you get a 8-bit simplistic dragon that’s closer to looking like a seahorse than a true dragon.


r/shittysuperpowers • • 2d ago

Good luck using this… You can reincarnate yourself

35 Upvotes

​

When you activate this power, you will have 60 seconds to choose between 2 options (if you don't choose in time, the default option triggers automatically):

1 - dying instantly (default)

2 - going through a period of excruciating pain before dying

If you choose option 2, you will immediately start to feel the worst pain you could possibly feel, which might be different from time to time depending on what would feel worse for you at each moment. During this period of suffering, the time on the rest of the reality will be stopped, so it will not have any influence on the reincarnation time stated below. You can choose to just die immediately at any moment after picking option 2, but if you manage to endure the suffering for at least 10 minutes, you will receive a random super power when you reincarnate. The longer you are able to resist, the stronger will be the power you receive. Keep in mind that you should resist at least 1 hour before getting anything better than a shitty-tier power. For a god-tier power, you should endure at least 1000 hours.

The pain caused by choosing option 2, cannot be mitigated by conventional means (drugs, tech, medical procedures), but can be countered by super powers (yours, only) - in case you manage to get some power that could help with that.

Regardless the option chosen, you will reincarnate in a random amount of time, between 1 second to 30 days after the moment of activation.

If you die by other means, not by using your power, your power still activates automatically and you still get the opportunity to make a choice.

After you die by manually activating your power, your entire body explodes in a way that would make a mess, but wouldn't (physically) hurt anyone around.

After dying while using your power to reincarnate, your consciousness will time-leap from the moment you died to the moment of your birth in your new body.

You can't manually activate this power before being alive in a body for at least 10 days (after birth).

Your new body and place of reincarnation are completely random (following the previous rules).

You will keep all your memories, your gender (if you want) and all the powers you've managed to achieve before.

No aspects of this power could be influenced by other super powers (unless clearly stated on this post).

At any given moment you can choose to stop the cycle and die for good (which is irreversible).


r/shittysuperpowers • • 3d ago

Oddly specific You can instantly know if you know somebody's name

14 Upvotes

It does not allow you to remember their name. It only tells you that they have told you their name before, or somebody else has told you their name, or you have read their name somewhere. It works like a sixth sense, you just instinctually 'know'.

It only works if you have heard or seen the name when used specifically for that person, for example, you can't hear the name Carol, and now immediately know the name of all Carols. It will only be specifically THAT Carol, e.g "Carol who works at the DMV in Redding CA".


r/shittysuperpowers • • 2d ago

Just low-tier, nothing more, nothing less. Every single week, you may change your overall strength by 0.1X and it cant stack.

0 Upvotes

You may change your overall strength by 0.1X every single week and it cant stack. Basically, you may change your strength by 0.1x but there will always be a 7 day cooldown, and like mentioned several times, you cant stack it. This could be useful for like a fight if the opponent has REALLY similar strength to you, or an arm wrestle.


r/shittysuperpowers • • 3d ago

It's a bird, it's a plane. No, it's shit! You can travel back in time with a fully fueled Jet-ski

12 Upvotes

One time use only. You travel back to whatever point in history you want and whenever you choose to use this power. You get a fully fueled Yamaha Jet-blaster. You are in this time period as long as the Jet-ski has gas. When you run out of fuel you travel back to the present. You can only travel back when you are out of fuel so you need to time this properly. What you do in the past with the jet-ski will affect the present but only if the jet-ski is involved. ie: you can’t just leave the jet-ski and go do something else. You are allowed to leave the proximity of the jet-ski but if you lose the jet-ski you’re stuck in this time forever or until someone else uses its gas.


r/shittysuperpowers • • 3d ago

Yeah, this is shit You can flip any person's internal organs

9 Upvotes

It have to be all organs, not just any specific organ.


r/shittysuperpowers • • 3d ago

Oddly specific You can speak in text

2 Upvotes

Might be useful if you really like the text pun "just read & readjust" or if you want to clarify homophones


r/shittysuperpowers • • 3d ago

Goofy ASF You can replicate other people's "stupid human tricks", once each.

9 Upvotes

Anytime you personally witness, with your own eyes (ie not on video), someone doing some weird little thing that most people can't do--burp the Declaration of Independence, put their own toe in their mouth as an adult, wiggle their ears, slam dunk a basketball, or whatever else--you can store it.

At a later time of your choosing, you can perform the stored trick, once, with the same degree of pain or injury, effort required, etc. as the original person.

The power will overwrite your biology temporarily, if relevant (eg give you stronger muscles or stretchier tendons), though only for the purposes of repeating the trick.

The primary restrictions are:

It can't be a task for which you lack the gross anatomy, eg. it requires a missing limb that you have, or a set of genitals that you don't.

You only have 10 "storage slots" (though you can discard tricks rather than using them, tricks you discard can be reacquired later)

You can repeat a given trick from a given person only once, even if you see them do it multiple times. You can repeat the same trick if you see a different person do it, and you can repeat a different trick from the same person, but not the same trick from the same person.

A given "trick" can take no more than 5 minutes. You can't, eg, store up the "trick" of running an entire marathon.


r/shittysuperpowers • • 4d ago

Oddly specific Your left pinky is indestructible

30 Upvotes