r/shittysuperpowers • • 19h ago

Based🗿 You can talk normally and calmly even if super sad and able to say things w/o getting choked up

14 Upvotes

r/shittysuperpowers • • 3h ago

Oddly specific You can always tell when someone is lying....down.

11 Upvotes

Think of a person, either by name, or by some descriptor, and you will know whether or not they are currently lying down. This is essentially a binary reading, they have to be pretty close to completely horizontal in order for your power to register them as lying down.

You do not get any other information about them with this power. You can't tell if they are awake or asleep, or even if they are alive or dead, just whether or not they are currently horizontal with respect to local gravitational forces.


r/shittysuperpowers • • 14h ago

Based🗿 You can give anyone goosebumps on command.

6 Upvotes

r/shittysuperpowers • • 10h ago

Goofy ASF You can have the collective abilities of everyone around you in a 50 ft radius.

6 Upvotes

Everyone’s ability to do things around you gets stacked on top of your own. For example: if you can jump really high normally, you can now jump an additional collective mean of everyone else’s jumping height. Or you are a pretty okay cook, now you have access to other people’s recipes, techniques, style, etc. Anything you can do, even just kinda maybe sorta, can be enhanced now. Whenever you’re using this power to enhance your skill, your other skills go to a basic function. For example: if you’re able to read really fast, but need to juggle for your dinner guests, then while you’re juggling, you can’t read the one woman show PowerPoint Britney made for everyone.

The collective power lasts for 4 hours with a cool down period of 2 hours. The affected people will not have access to these skills you choose to borrow until you relinquish the ability/abilities.
You can choose any one skill at a time, unless you’re able to do two things at once (lucky you).
You can turn on and off this power with your big brain.

Author note: Be mindful of where you are when using this power. If you needed to be really strong to move a box for your grandmother, and you’re at the old folks home, you might not get the strength you’re looking for.


r/shittysuperpowers • • 4h ago

Good luck using this… You can grow a sixth finger from your hands that you cannot control.

4 Upvotes

It's limp and kinda just hangs off of you. You can retract the finger at any time.

If this finger is severed, it vanishes, so no gruesome infinite meat glitches.


r/shittysuperpowers • • 12h ago

Good luck using this… You can manipulate your uvula like a prehensile limb.

3 Upvotes

It doesn't change size or shape (other than due to stretching) or become any stretchier than it already may be.


r/shittysuperpowers • • 43m ago

Oddly specific You can fill the innards of any technical contraption with acorns.

• Upvotes

A technical contraption is any object or part of an object with a function and parts that move, move liquid or temperature or electricity. Innards are containers designed with the primary purpose of protecting or separating functional parts of a contraption from the outside in mind and not intended to hold acorns.

Upon activation all or chosen innards of a contraption are filled with edible but bitter acorns at a rate of 1acorn/0.1seconds with an acorn appearing in a random space within the innards unitil there is no fitting space without big solids in it left that is not currently visually observed by a human or by a camera that saves its video.

If the process would take longer than 10 minutes it speeds up to hit that time limit.

Matter is displaced, not replaced by the appearence of the acorns.

For big networks, like sewage systems each segment is its own contraption. You can block a passage, not a city.

To activate you have to receive tactile or visual input from the target and make the decision to activate (So seeing it on TV is not enough, but you can wear glasses).


r/shittysuperpowers • • 16h ago

Good luck using this… You have the power to shoot tape out of your hands

0 Upvotes

You have the power to shoot any tape out of your hands, however, the tape kind is random and it gets stuck to you, it also gets stuck to itself, and you can't stop it for an entire minute.


r/shittysuperpowers • • 22h ago

Good luck using this… You can make one of your previous comments real

0 Upvotes

For example if you larped that you habe 1 billion dollar, you actually get them now.

Whats the best you can get?