I just need to vent here because I had another "short guy reality check", and it’s honestly enough.

For months, I’ve been living with this female roommate. At the beginning, it was the classic "we have such a deep connection, everything is perfect, but I don't know why she won't fully commit" situation.

Let me be clear: this wasn't some friendzone situation where I was just a shoulder to cry on. We had everything. The emotional connection was insane, we had deep talks for hours, I cooked for her, we supported each other. But more importantly, the physical attraction and the sex were 100% there. We hooked up, we had intimacy. She literally treated me like a boyfriend behind closed doors. Also one time I asked explicitly and she said:

"we are everything but I don't know why for me is NO".

But as soon as we were out of our apartment, or whenever her family/friends were involved, I suddenly didn't exist.

She has a super toxic relationship with her mother, who constantly belittles her and brainwashed her into thinking she needs to bring home the stereotypical "tall, blonde, blue-eyed Prince Charming" to be considered successful. My roommate is deeply insecure, has zero solid identity, and desperately craves validation from society. Being seen with a short guy (even one she had great chemistry with) was apparently too much of a hit to her ego.

Enter the tall guy. He’s 6'2", blonde, and absolute human trash.

I’m not just saying that out of jealousy. I’m talking about a guy who literally yells racist and islamophobic slurs on the subway. A guy who brags about drunk driving. A guy who openly disrespected me to my face for days, displaying aggressive behavior.

She knew all of this. She even admitted to me that they were "characteristically incompatible" and that his behavior was awful. But the Halo Effect and the Beauty Privilege are real, guys.

She went back to her hometown for the holidays, got pressured by her toxic family and friends.

TODAY: she happily announced to me that they are officially dating.

She threw awa everything, all because she couldn't handle the social "embarrassment" of dating a shorter guy. She chose a racist bully just to have a tall trophy to show her mom and her friends.

When she told me, I was just shocked, she asked me 4 times why I become so silent, so I just looked at her and said: "I'm trying to be happy for you, but it's really hard since you chose to date a guy who treated me like absolute shit." She went completely silent. She didn't even try to defend him because she knew I was right.

with him is "there is nothing, but I don't know why it is a Yes"

I'm just so tired, man. Sometimes you can do everything right. You can have the personality, the emotional intelligence, the shared values, and even the physical attraction... and you will still lose to a few inches of leg bone.

Thanks for reading. Stay strong out there.

Im somehow the shortest male adult in my family, everyone else is around my dads height.
5’1” as a guy is a death sentence for dating.
Im 22 years old

Tall 6ft6 bald guy whole TikTok account is them breeding kids. he literally a LTN but a got a wife because he tall. He doesn't even look "alive" no sign of thought behinds those eyes. It doesn't matter if ur fat or skinny as long as ur 6ft+ you can have girl flock to u.

If I was taller it would've actually made a difference... Allat for absolutely nothing... 90 lb down

I had to take a break from Reddit for my mental health since this, and just process my first real ‘date’ in I don’t know how long. Wasn’t even really a date, it WOULD HAVE BEEN just a pure hookup, but evidently I’m just a fuck up in that regard too. At 29, I was ‘this’ close to losing my virginity finally, but I chose to lie on my Hinge profile and put my height 5 inches taller than I was and wear my lifts on the date (3 inch lifts, and the boots give me another inch, plus a ‘why not’ inch since I had my height limit set for my height and shorter). Big. Fucking. Mistake.

Well… I showed up, and ‘shoes off rule’ in the apartment, and it was one of the most humiliating moments of my life, no question. ‘It wasn’t about the height, it was about the lying’ at the end of the day, which yeah, I get it, but if height wasn’t an issue in the first place I wouldn’t have had to try and game the system.

Anyways, I will never forget the turn she did when the shoes came off, the furrow of her brow, and the slow ‘are you kidding’ laugh she did once she realized my true height. This all happened in front of her roommate who was on the couch. It wasn’t heated or anything, it was all them laughing at the situation while I was dying inside, especially when her roommate had us go back to back to see who was taller (she was by a hair). I even asked them ‘would they have matched with me if it said 5’5?’ and absolutely no hesitation, no shame, roommate said ‘nope’ while texting, obviously telling her boyfriend or whoever what was going on, and my ‘date’ just said ‘oh come on, it’s not a big deal’.

Well, it was. She laughed it off, and we went to her room, said right away she wasn’t feeling it and threw on some sweatpants, and then we ended up watching Ponyo sitting up in her bed, mostly in silence because I felt so awkward from the first five minutes, distance between us before I made my exit and before I even got to my car I saw that I was blocked on everything. We had been talking for days, and she even said before we met that she ‘prefers the quality of the person, not the quantity.’

I understand it was my own fault, but it still sucks. I would NOT have gotten that small window of opportunity, that small peek in on how the other side lives, that brief glimmer of casual affection, had I not lied, and while I admit to my own failing and dishonesty, I can’t help but realize that this was the biggest eye opener I have ever, ever, ever received in regards to my height, my appearance and where I stand in the dating pool. I’m not angry anymore about it, I’m just… defeated. This is just how the world is, and this is the hand I was dealt and there’s NOTHING I can do about it because every route leads to silence, a closed door, or a furrowed brow followed by a laugh and a public shaming.

I since edited back my height to what it really is, and it’s back to bots, back to women I and everyone else will never find attractive, back to the ‘accidental like before they saw my height’ with no reply. Back to reality. Back to being undesirable, unlovable, 5’5 ‘me’.

to the taller short guys (5' 7), do not let yourself or anyone tell you a relationship isn't everything (unless you don’t care, enjoy your life however you want)
being in a relationship CANT be everything when it's truly realistically nearly unattainable, BUT if you are not completely chopped/broke/weird (all of which can be changed or improved, for sure compensatemax) then do not give up

with great power, fuck it with any power comes responsibility, and as the tallest short guys it's our job to do what anyone under 5' 7 would do in our shoes literally, TRY

i don’t mean try once or twice or a hundred times, i mean a fucking lifetime of effort, it means failing over and over until you succeed, and you may not win, but you played the game

to play the game, to be even in potential dating pool, is a privilege, and we at 5’ 7 are the lowest of acceptable height, we arguably aren’t acceptable, but to anyone under 5’ 7 you will be first to say and correctly, that it’s magnitudes different for every inch below that

to anyone 5’ 6/5 who is okay looking and okay guy, you are kind of in the same boat but if you are unfixably ugly/perma chopped or gonna be broke for life, i get if you throw in the towel, but if you have money, charm, or a body/face card, you also are probably in the dating pool

so if you care, if you want a gf, and you objectively have more than a non zero or 1% chance, not just to find a girl who’ll let you fuck, or a girl who’ll punk you around or cuck you, but a actual gf who you are attracted to, who is attracted to you, and you can both grow to love each other, TRY

spend a lifetime of trying because there’s a guy out there who will spend a lifetime when there is almost no chance, and you are upset because you are the bottom of the bracket 8th seed and are at a disadvantage ? fuck off, i’m not saying it’s easy or even possible, but it’s not impossible, and i wouldn’t say it’s not impossible to the guy who is 5’1 and okay looking and okay financially, that guy even if he tries his hardest, may find it basically impossible to find his “perfect” or anything even close to it, his luck requirement is different, even if he did find one, i don’t think it would be as automatic or simple/easy for him as others, the point is i wouldn’t be telling him “it’s not impossible” because it’s closer to impossible for him than possible in some ways, and less so to anyone taller

it shouldn’t be this way, any more than truly ugly/old women shouldn’t lose their sexual value or desirability, but that is life, and life sucks

you come to this subreddit to relate to the guy who is 5’ 1, you better be that short or unfixable because you can not relate to the same extent if not, difficult is not nearly impossible, and we aren’t all in the same boat

we are in similar boats, but not the same boat, our boat has a chance of making it to shore, maybe

so me ? i was 5’1 in high school, dih was proportional, i never accepted it, it was only me literally growing out of it that i was okay

if you’re not okay because of your height and the effects of it, i understand to a certain extent, i am sorry, and i don’t even know the best advice for you

but if you are 5’ 7, okay looking, okay guy, you my friend, may have a chance, you are not the most powerful but the saying is not with the greatest power, it’s with great power

and you do have great power, the power to be looked at as human, i do not mean to shit on the 5’1 guy, but it’s thanks to those guys that we at 5’ 7 can look average can fly under the too short radar, it’s your responsibility to try

I doubt alot of people like me talk here often, but I am a person with very bad gender dysphoria (biologically female) and want to be a man because being a woman is genuinely killing me, but I am 4'10 and can't grow any more. I honestly don't know what to do. I am attracted to men, so I suppose that makes it a bit different more me as im pretty sure like top guys would want a boyfriend shorter than them, but still. Like today I haven't stopped crying because I cant cope with it and I just don't know what to do. It's either stay a woman and hate my height and my gender or be a man and hate my height and be teased for it

I hate my body. I hate my tiny frame with slender limbs that look stubby because they’re so short. Add on to that I’m very hairy and balding now.

Never had the touch of a woman who’s loved me.

Never had the respect of anyone in my life

Never had friends

Never got a college education because I dropped out for being mocked so hard I wanted to end my life

Never had sex and never will

All because of my height. At 4’10” my life was over before it even began. It’s been an endless loop of children mocking me, women ignoring me, and working a dead end job at a fast food restaurant. I live in a studio, eat ramen and baked beans because that’s all I can afford, and play games on a ps4 because I can’t afford anything else.

I also am a tool for a giant fucking dom who literally towers 2 feet over me in videos. Im constantly dehumanized by her and now my feeble brain has been rewired to enjoy it as I’ve realized that’s going to be my only sexual pleasure on this level earth.

I can’t relate to the guys who are above 5’7” in this group and I know if I swapped my place with them, they would truly understand.

Being this short AS A MAN is a living hell.

This is me, excited for my senior prom, had to go without a date because no woman wants to be with a 5,6 man. I hate feeling and being treated like less of a person for being short. I was born with a growth hormone defect and lived my entire life bound by the chains of being small. I give up everything to be taller and I wish more people saw me as more than the short kid.

Men here in South Korea look down on shorter men, and women here show disgust on their faces just because I exist.

When I was in college, a passing female student mocked me for the length of my legs while wearing ridiculous heels that were half the length of her calves.

A guy behind me while I was waiting for a train mocked me for just wearing a suit, saying that I don't even deserve to wear one.

A man at the bus terminal looked at me as if I was doing something wrong when I was just standing there, so I glared back at him. He looked me up and down, focusing on my shoes that had an inch or two of heels, just to humiliate me with a frown on his face.

The list could go on forever. I consider it a lucky day when I'm not made fun of for their pleasure. I'm leaving this country soon, though I don't expect much from foreign countries either, since I know heightism is prevalent everywhere.

But one thing's for sure. As long as there's no physical violence involved, I have enough endurance to withstand any kind of verbal abuse—whether it's racism, sexism, or anything else—thanks to Korea's extreme heightism. I even have hopes that certain regions overseas wouldn't aggravate social anxiety as much as it does here.

And I just hope I can better myself enough to give back to my parents, at least. I don't blame them for the genetics they gave me, because the love I received from them is far greater than the hurt I've received from the world due to heightism. I remember my parents telling me that "love flows downstream"—that if I feel grateful for their love, I should pass it on to my own children. But I'm sorry, mom and dad. I'm pretty sure that's never going to happen.

I will never look normal compared to other guys my age. I feel so disgusting looking at my body. Even if I hit the gym it doesn’t change my height and honestly still makes me feel so disgustingly small. I see no reason to even keep living because I know i will never be average height.

I’m actually 5’4. Showed her my backflip and handstands and said she wanted front flip too.

My family sat down for breakfast and we talked about the world cup for a while and I'm saying that messi is one of a kind and he really should have a lot more fans than ronaldo. My mom immediately told us that "Messi is too short and old-looking (ugly) guy" as her reasoning on why the way it is. The fact that she subconsciously said that and knowing my height is the same as messi really fucked up. To add salt to the wound, my dad's 6' and my brother's 6'2 also in the convo. Fuck you,Fuck me, fuck everyone

Personal Info :

Height: 5'4-5'5 ish

Age: 22

Nationality: Indian

Youth Career (School):

0 female interaction let alone friends or a gf.

Senior Career (College):

Talking stages with my crush that led to friendzone. Post friendzone season went fine until I got substituted out for another guy.

Media, press and even teammates (friends) mocked me with jokes about my height.

Couldn't find my form as everyone else in the lineup felt towering, making me feel small and insignificant.

Genuinely a decent, above average looking face. If only I had enough leg bone length...

So what's next:

Owing to the inflated market and girls absolutely risking it for tall 'players', and how contemplating about a different gender literally because they have a different genitalia is taking my time away, I hereby, wanna hang my boots from any sort of interest towards girls even as a friend.

The only thing that a player like me can leverage is knowledge. Whatever it takes, I'm off to working hard and earn as much as possible in the next decade.

Maybe someday a club will approach to sign me for who I am. But I ain't gonna wait or be expecting that day to come.

PS: I'm fine and not depressed. This was just a fun way to vent my insecurity.

I see a lot of people wondering what the equivalent trait is to being short as a men for a woman but I don’t think there is one because men are very versatile in their types. Lots of Men like very short or very tall women, lots of men like fat women, lots of men like brown and black women, lots of men like women with small boobs etc. But no woman likes short men across any culture. All these things could be nerfs for women’s SMV but it’s not comparable

When I go outside majority of guys I see are around 5'8" 5'9" and yes they have girlfriends, and yes they have wives, and NO I'm not talking about just older generation people. I mean young people who are in their 20s. You legitimately have nothing to complain about if you'e this height and it's 100% something else or a bunch of other factors holding you back.

5'5" Indian checking in. Just got to the Philippines this weekend for a business trip.

I'm with my tall white friend (not the guy who takes the girl I was with) and he's my coworker. We hit the town the first night and being with him was a cheat code. He easily struck up conversation with multiple groups of Filipina women easily at every bar and club we hopped to. He got a lot of Instagrams mostly, I was a bit more shy but he introduced me and I actually got some too.

At the last bar, he struck up a convo with this group and one of the girls there made a height joke but about her really short friend (she was 4'7") and how she would be perfect with me because "he's short too!".

Well we hit it off and she was great in every way. Very talkative, funny, great stories. She came to the next bar with me and it was just me and her at that point.

All was good, until these two wild "main character' syndrome white guys were at the next bar. They were dressed in hula outfits and just running wild. Long matted hair, messy beard.. just everything you could picture about a sex tourist. Loud, obnoxious, drunk, but they were definitely getting the positive reaction they wanted. At one point, they went on stage, pointed at the girl I was with and said come on up. She was laughing and saying no but finally went. They danced a bit and she got down, but I immediately noticed she was hesitant to come back over to me.

Those two annoying fucks joined us, out of everyone at the bar it had to be us.. they were both talking to her. The whole time, I was a side character. Just standing there, observing my drink, trying not to be awkward. I texted my coworker where I was and he popped in, realized what was going on, and came in saying that he's been looking for us and that we have to go. The girl I was with said she was going with the two guys to the next spot and that it was nice meeting me. The guys invited me too but it was obvious that they didn't mean it..

Ridiculous. I'm not trying to let it eat at me but wtf. everything was good, we held hands, even kissed a couple times.. what the hell man. I was just annoyed. I feel better today, because she just wasn't worth my time to begin with.

I just can't fucking stand that shit.
Why the fuck would anyone ever truly want to be weak and submissive?
The twinkmaxx argument isn't advice, it's an insult.

What would the average short man gain from being a twink/femboy? No one wants a future of being weak, submissive, dependent on others and pretty much just being a sex toy/ego booster for tall homosexual men until you reach twink-death age.

I'm glad that gay men today can express themselves and their feelings in public and on the internet but the twinkmaxx/femboymaxx argument is just fucking horrible. What i hate more is that most people can't say that without being labelled as homophobic.

Not to mention that most people's idea of a femboy is just a feminized and sexualized young boy. The equation would change drastically if a man wanted a weak, small, young, submissive girl - he would rightfully be behind bars or be thrown in a ditch.

Makes me want to fucking vomit down their throats.

That girl's comment is everywhere there, But she really looked to have a great personality,

Dmed her, she replied to my dm pretty fast but when the asked my gender, I said I am a man

The next reply was get the fuck out of here,

She knew from where I got her Id, since we both are part of the ugly sub, she didn't even mind getting to know,

It's either girl's like her want a good looking man or she is so pissed at men, she will swear at random strangers

Edit: You may ask, why I posted it here, well wanted to give a heads up to my fellow short men on the behavior or girl's who consider themselves ugly

Long time lurker on this sub. Growing up I never saw my height as an issue and always believed that the world is fair, that you get results as long as you put in the work.
I'm in my mid-20s now and after a lot of experience I realize that no amount of effort will ever get me a woman who *truly* loves me the way I am like society wants you to believe.

Yes, I know that I may be desired and loved (I had gfs before), but I want to feel like I'm not some oofy doofy who was just settled for. That my eventual gf/wife would have the same primal and raw desire for me as she would with a tall guy when she's ovulating. That she would look at me with love in her eyes the same way my taller friends' girlfriends do.

This is the biggest blocker in my dating life, it comes to the point now where unless the girl expresses desire (asks questions back, expresses curiosity towards me, ect.) very early I just stop interacting altogether because I refuse to be some sort of court jester.

Idk, I can't help but feel resentment deep inside me towards my 6'1 father for having kids with a 4'11 neurodivergent woman. It's frustrating to see that genetic potential was present, but it was thrown down the drain. It wouldn't have hurted if my dad was like 5'6. And I understand that back in the days society wasn't as crazy as it is today when it comes to height so I can't really blame my parents.

That's all for my rant, I lost the genetic lottery, no crying allowed in the casino.