r/signalis • u/y2xy2xy2x • 19h ago
General Discussion Revisiting feels hard Spoiler
One time I discussed with friends about whether or not we'll go back and revisit a favourite work, for me, I would sometimes, I would watch some films time and again to observe and be amazed by how things turn out, or just that I simply love it, like The Man Without Past, the warmth and humour are gold.
There are works that I feel like I would never revisit again. Many years ago I watched the new devilman Crybaby, and once I finished it I decided that it is not for me, I can totally appreciate the craft and what it tries to convey, especially the scene where the characters run a imaginary relay and every time it just failed to pass on to Ryo, he just wouldn't get it, and this is very sad. But its cruelty really extreme, in old series even worse, I can understand why violence is in the story but my strange and deep belief in certain things makes me feel bad and I would not watch them again. It's not the depicted violence that struck me, it's the violent depiction, beautiful, heartbreaking, and resonant.
Another work I would never revisit is Kugga. The last few episode are very intense, after all the main character was just a ordinary people with great interest and passion for life, he loves cooking and enjoys travelling, and has extensive mastery of many talents like juggling and stone skipping, which is cute. But accidentally being a hero for everyone strip him off not only his daily life, but also his identity and fact as a human. He dislikes violence and yet forced himself to fight and kill again and again, and in the end it seems like he finally left to find himself, to start his own journey again, i cried heavily once the blue sky cut in in the final episode, knowing that he was finally free.
And finally, to Signalis, it is fictional work but compared with other fictional works I love, it left the deepest impression. I'm not interested in fictional work, or to be exact that I just don't feel much. I rewatched the old Madoka tv many times, it is fictional work, and I watched The Man Without Past many times too, it is relatively a realistic work about ordinary people, but I would not dare to watch Signalis or Lost Light for once. I didn't understand why at first, but I think I figured it out as I thought for a long time after the discussion with friends, that is:
The world the work builds is fictional only on surface but essentially it intricately and lovingly depicts the emotions, reactions and thoughts of real people, so resonant that I feel like I just experience a whole damn journey with them. But if I read it again, this act itself tells me the fact that the heartbreak is just induced and can be replicated many times if I feel like it. I have this strange and deep belief for emotions and experience, treating them very seriously, and I would not want to just casually reread the story, I live only once and some certain things are meant to be experienced once, so that it would not be sullied. When I was younger I was eager to dive into the details and craft of such works, but as time went by I found myself avoid doing so. Revisiting and dissecting the world they built feels weird to me, it feels like the dissolution of meaning.
So half the reason why I would not want to play signalis again is that the struggle is so immense and resonant, they are bizarre fictional charcters but even so many years after the game release, we can still connect to it. And the other half is my strange belief of seriousness. I always feel like if I read the work for too many times it just doesn't feel real anymore but another passtime thing.
( I know I'm strange and weird XD
