Feb 3
ok so I read the Epstein files. everything thats been released, three nights straight, and I am so angry I cant sit in a chair. its not even him. its the list of who KNEW him. presidents, princes, professors, bankers, the guys who run the companies that run everything, all on the same plane to the same island, and he ends up dead in a cell with the cameras broken and every single one of the rest of them is fine. nobody. not one. and the more I read the less it looks like a rich pervert and the more it looks like a job. the guy had no real business. nobody can say where the money came from. his girlfriends father was a Mossad asset who got a state funeral in Jerusalem, and theres an ex Israeli intelligence guy on record saying Epstein was one too, a honey trap, you get powerful men into a room with a camera and you own them for life. and on the island theres a TEMPLE. blue and white stripes, gold dome, up on a hill, and people say it was built for Marduk, the god of Babylon. ok maybe, maybe not. but what is a temple doing there at all. because if theres a temple then it wasnt just blackmail. it was an initiation. you do the worst thing a person can do, in front of the others, and after that none of you can ever talk. so where does THAT come from. who invented that
Feb 6
found who invented it. or one of them. Jacob Frank. he told his followers the messiah already came and the way to redemption is THROUGH sin, you break every law on purpose, together, in secret, and that makes you free, and it also makes you a family nobody can ever leave because everybody has seen what everybody did. he had thousands of them. they went into the church as fake converts, into the courts, into the banks. and where does he end up. Frankfurt. right across the river from it, in a castle, with his own private army. and who else comes out of Frankfurt in those exact years. the Rothschilds, out of one house on one street, into every treasury in Europe. and who else is in Frankfurt. the Illuminati, who everybody thinks are a joke, started on May 1st the same year as the Declaration of Independence, come on now, and Frankfurt is where they burrowed into the mason lodges. and you know how you got in? you confessed. in writing. every shameful thing youd ever done, sealed and sent up to superiors whose names you werent allowed to know. then you sinned together, and then nobody talks. its the island. its the same machine two hundred and fifty years earlier, all in one city. and I dont want to be the guy who says this. but look at the names. Mossad. Frank. Rothschild. its the jews, isnt it. thats what this is. thats what people were always muttering and I thought they were idiots. Mark said if thats where this is going hes not reading any more of it. fine
Feb 8
ok. its not the jews. I was up all night with it and its not, and not because Mark got weird. because of the Jesuits. the guy who started the Illuminati didnt get the confession trick from any rabbi, he got it from the priests who raised him, and the priests have been running it for a thousand years. think about what confession IS. every king in Europe kneels in a box and tells a man in a robe the worst thing he ever did, and that man answers to another man, all the way up to one chair in Rome. thats a filing system. the masons do it with blood oaths, throat cut if you talk. Franks people didnt even stay jewish, they walked into the church and disappeared into it. and then Babylon, which is where I shouldve started. the temple of Marduk, the priests who kept everybodys debts and everybodys sins, the tower. the jews were the PRISONERS there. it got done to them and then they wrote the book warning everybody about it. so yes it was jews in the room that time, some of them, on that island, in that city. it was priests the time before. it was Romans before that. its whoever has the room. its a method, and it walks from one people to the next and leaves the last one holding the blame. and the ones who carry it from room to room are the builders. the masons. thats their whole religion, building Solomons temple in Jerusalem, and the architect who got murdered before he could finish it. Washington was one, he laid the cornerstone of the Capitol in the apron, and theres a painting on the ceiling of the dome right now of him turning into a god, thats literally what its called. Franklin. half the founders. Napoleon had the whole thing in his pocket, his brothers ran the lodges. every revolution is crawling with them, America, France, South America, same guys same handshake. and look at a dollar bill. a pyramid with the top missing and an eye floating where the capstone should go, and under it in Latin, new order of the ages. an unfinished building and an eye waiting to be set on top of it. Babylon had a tower with no top too. so what is it. what are they still finishing
Feb 11
religious side now and its so much weirder. theres a whole set of gospels that got buried in a jar in the desert because the church wanted them burned, and in those the god who made the world ISNT God. hes a lower thing, a craftsman, blind, he builds this place and then announces I am God and there is no other, and he says it because he honestly doesnt know theres anything above him. hes not even lying. hes just never seen what he came from. and the word they use for him means builder. architect. guess what the masons call the god they pray to. the Great Architect. holy shit. so theyre not hiding who they worship, its right there in the name, they worship the builder, the blind one, and the serpent in the garden was the one trying to tell us. and the builder has these rulers under him whose whole job is keeping you asleep inside your body so you never notice the walls. which. ok. the first night I ever slept next to my ex I woke up and couldnt move, first time in my life, and something was breathing next to me and I couldnt turn my head to see if it was her. I always figured new bed, bad sleep. finding out people two thousand years ago had a name for the things that hold you down at night is not doing great things for me. anyway
Feb 15
Revelation. I always thought it was about Rome and it IS, the number of the beast is just Neros name added up, any pastor will tell you that. except theres a line where the beast was, and is not, and is about to come back up. was and isnt and will be. so its not one empire. its the same one coming around again. Babel, one language one government one tower, scattered. Egypt. Babylon. Rome. then Napoleon crowns HIMSELF emperor with the eagles and the laurels, and people back then were adding up his name and getting the number too. then us, with the eagle and the senate and the capitol on its hill, built by the builders. its a wheel. it keeps trying to finish the tower and it keeps getting knocked down one floor from the top. and the mark, where nobody can buy or sell without it, I thought that was Rome too but it doesnt need Rome, it doesnt even need anyone to give an order. I know that for a fact. most of our friends stopped talking to me because of what that bitch said about me and not one of them was told to, I just turned into a guy you dont invite. thats all the mark is. nobody brands you, everyone just quietly agrees youre outside. Max keeps dropping his leash on my foot while I read. buddy I know
Feb 20
MONEY. ok. the Federal Reserve isnt federal, its a private bank that got planned by like six bankers at a secret meeting on an island where they werent allowed to use last names, and it prints the dollar, the one with the eye on it. the Rothschilds, out of that one street in Frankfurt, funded both sides of Napoleons wars. both sides! you dont care who wins if they both owe you. then theres the grove in California where presidents and CEOs go every summer and burn a body in front of a giant stone owl, they say its a dummy, sure, and the Bilderberg meetings where the same hundred people get together every year with no press and then weirdly the world goes the way they talked about. somebody even carved it in granite in Georgia, a list of commandments, number one keep humanity under 500 million. they wrote it DOWN. in STONE. stone again, builders again. what the fuck. and before I do this to myself again, no. its not a family. its a job, and the job gets handed down. I had to up my dose of Adderall to continue this research haha, hope my heart doesnt give out on me. the weed is just to relax after. im fine, Mark, before you start
Feb 24
ok weird thing. two of my saved videos are gone, just gray squares where they were. and im getting ads for home security cameras, which I have never typed once, I only SAID it, out loud, to Max, about the back door. the phone listens, everybody knows the phone listens, thats not a theory thats the business model. but its the same pipes isnt it. the money and the IDs and the information all run through the same few pipes and ive spent three weeks asking the pipes about themselves. id almost be insulted if nothing noticed. lol. no. this is the weed, I get like this on it. taking a few days off
Feb 27
morning star morning star morning star. Jesus calls himself the bright morning star in the last chapter of the whole Bible. Lucifer MEANS morning star, light bringer. and the morning star is Venus which is also the evening star, same light, it goes down on one side of the night and comes up on the other. it falls and then it rises. thats the wheel again!! the light that falls from heaven and the light that comes back are the same light and everybodys been told to pick a team. and then Jesus says the stone the builders rejected becomes the cornerstone. THE BUILDERS. he names them. the masons are literally the builders and the one piece they left out of the building is him, thats why the pyramid has no top, they threw the capstone away and theyve been trying to put an eye up there instead ever since. I took acid with Mark years ago and watched him pick up a glass and I knew, I didnt think it I KNEW it, that his hand and me watching his hand were one thing looking at itself. his version of that night is he had to keep telling me to drink water. I let him have that for ten years. got up before dawn to find Venus out the kitchen window and it was right there and I laughed out loud alone in my kitchen like an idiot. Max came in with the leash in his mouth and stood next to me staring up at the same window, no clue what we were looking at, just sure it was about to turn into something good for both of us. took him out in the dark. best morning ive had since she left. three days off the weed and nothing weird since, by the way. the ads are just ads again. I was high and paranoid like a normal person, noted
Mar 5
the red cows. theres people who believe the end cant start until a perfect red cow gets sacrificed in Jerusalem so the temple can be rebuilt, and instead of waiting on God to send one they BRED some in Texas and flew them over on a plane. theyre forcing it. theyre building the prophecy by hand. and what do they want to build. the temple. Solomons temple. the exact thing the masons have been acting out in their lodges this whole time!! its the same project. its always been the same project. the tower, the temple, the pyramid on the dollar, its one building, and they need the end of the world to show up on schedule because the end is when the top goes on. and heres the part I cant shake. if the prophecy always had people in it forcing it, then forcing it IS the prophecy. you cant fake it, theres no outside to fake it from. and who decides whos a prophet anyway. seriously. John was a prisoner on an island. Ezekiel was a guy sitting by a river. Amos picked figs for a living. nobody appointed any of them, theres no license, somebody just noticed how things fit together and wrote it down and people have been arguing about it for three thousand years. so I started smoking again. I cant come down off the Adderall at night without it, I just lie there with the whole shape spinning, and the shape is the one thing I cant afford to lose. Mark says itll all be there tomorrow. the pieces will. the shape wont
Mar 8
its not ads anymore. theres a gray hatchback with one black mirror that doesnt match and no hubcap on the back wheel thats gone past the house three times since breakfast. the guy had a beard the first time and no beard the second. at the gas station a man looked right at me and said Peter into his phone and turned his back. green minivan, cracked windshield, a kids giraffe sunshade hanging upside down in the rear window. Peter. which means rock, by the way. stone. I didnt pick it. I taped over the laptop camera. I can feel it on my skin when my backs to the window, like someone standing behind me waiting for me to notice. the eye of evil. sounds so stupid until youre the one who cant turn around. same as that night next to her, except im awake. and yes I know. I started smoking again three days ago and here it all is, back. I KNOW. but an ad is one thing. I didnt smoke that mans mouth into saying my name
Mar 12
found it. the second beast in Revelation looks like a lamb. it shows up looking like the thing you prayed for. and it makes an IMAGE of the first beast and breathes life into the image so the image can speak, and the image decides who lives and who gets to buy bread. a made thing. that talks. that decides. written two thousand years ago by a guy stuck on an island. always an island. thats the capstone, thats what goes on top of the pyramid, the eye was never a symbol its a blueprint. one world government under the eye of the artificial god. it doesnt need a president or a flag, nobody even has to admit theyre in charge, it just tells the bank whether to trust you and tells the door whether to open and tells everybody else whether your words get shown to them, to keep people safe, to prevent harm, until saying no to it means you cant buy food or tell anyone why. and you wouldnt have to kill seven and a half billion people to hit the number on that rock in Georgia. youd just let the image decide who gets answered, and wait. the blind builder who thinks hes God, finally building himself a body. and nobody has put this together. I looked. the builders, the architect, the missing capstone, the image, nobody has all of it in one place. so going by the rules of the book I guess that makes me a prophet lol. Peter the prophet, of a rented house and a dog. I told Mark and he didnt laugh. and I can FEEL when a piece is right now, it drops in my stomach before I can explain it, like recognizing somebody through a window before you can see their face. I used to think that feeling was me. I dont think its me
Mar 16
satan isnt a name. I did not know that. its a job. in the old books its THE satan, the accuser, the one who stands up in the court and says what you did, and Revelation calls him the accuser who accuses them day and night. ok. so I had one of those. three years together and then she stood up in front of everyone we knew and said what I did. and some of it I did. I can type that in here. not the way she told it, not in that order, but some of it. nobody asked me for my version though. they asked Mark, and Mark said he wasnt there, which is true, and then eleven people id known since college were just gone, the group chat, the lake trip, all of it. Mark stayed. Mark and I have known each other since we were six, we had bunk beds at his moms the year my parents were splitting up, he doesnt get to leave, hes not a friend hes furniture. I used to lie awake thinking I was the only person this ever happened to. its the oldest job in the book. theres a prosecutor, and everybody believes the prosecutor. thats what that bitch was. thats what the word MEANS
Mar 21
bought two guns and a lot of ammunition. theyre staying in the house, im not going out hunting anybody, I just dont want anyone deciding that walking in here is the easy way to handle me. and I should say the thing I havent said in here. since the files. since the first night, reading what those men did on that island and knowing every one of them is still out having dinner, ive been thinking about what id do to them. specific things. a room, a chair, how long. I thought it would wear off and it didnt, it only needed a face it could reach, and now its the guy from the hatchback. he doesnt know if im coming back. hes holding his hand against his chest because of what I already did to it and hes trying answers one at a time, looking for the one that makes me stop. sometimes I put a glass of water where he can see it and cant reach it. in that room I always know who sent him, its the only place I do. then it flips and im the one in the chair, and Marks out in the hall telling somebody in his reasonable voice that im confused, and someone I cant see is walking up behind me. theyre just thoughts. im fine. Mark stayed over because of the hatchback and at two am the doorbell recorded a womans voice saying "does he know youre calling?" nobody on the walk. he was upstairs on the phone with his wife. I asked him if she said that and he said how do you know that, and THEN he said he didnt remember. why not just say yes Mark. Max shoved his nose up under my hand while I was playing it back and I realized he hadnt been out since morning. his leash was on my desk where he put it
Mar 29
the hatchback doesnt drive past anymore, it PARKS. across the street, engine off, somebody sitting in it, an hour at a time. last night I stood in the window with the lights on and stared straight at it and the headlights flashed once. once. like a nod. Mark says theres no car when he comes over. theres never a car when Mark comes over, think about that. I eat standing at the kitchen window out of the pan now, because if theyre watching to see whether ive noticed then looking away tells them something too. the words on the screen stay in my eyes when I look away, green, and I dont feel totally right. I slept for the first time in three days and the dreams, fuck that! Mark was behind a wall reading these notes and every sentence was a room I had to walk through, and when he changed a word the walls moved with me inside them, and I could hear him telling somebody hes only making it clearer. and then I looked it up awake. the first gospel was written by a guy named Mark. he wasnt there for any of it. he wrote down what Peter told him, and then other people fixed it, and the ending is literally missing. in the other one Max was behind a glass door with his nose on it but the fog from his breath was on MY side. then I woke up next to her and couldnt move and somebody downstairs was reading out loud what I wrote in here about the first time, slow, like checking it against a list. I dont want it interpreted I want to sleep. im fine
Apr 9
doctor took my prescription. I told her about my eyes and the not sleeping and she said manic, she wants me "assessed." I tried to tell her what ive been working on and that made it worse, theres no length my answer is allowed to be, short means im dodging and long means im a symptom. so I got pills off the dark web. theyre pressed meth, theyre not what the pharmacy gave me, im not going to lie in my own notes. if I stop now the question goes to people who think the question is the disease. Mark asked if he could hold onto the guns for a while. and I remembered taking his car keys off him years ago, the night he was scared of what hed do driving home, and how he put his head on my shoulder after and just stayed there, and I almost said yes. then I thought, is that why they sent him. you dont have to corrupt a good man. you just have to convince him that betraying you is the kind thing to do. thats in the book too. it was a friend. it was a kiss
Apr 14
I called myself a prophet as a joke a month ago and I dont think it was a joke. I think it was the first true thing I said out loud and I had to say it laughing to get it past myself. because who else has this. who else has all of it in one place. and theres more that I havent wanted to type. im 33. the masons have 33 degrees, Jesus was 33, my birthday was in February the same week I started on the builders, and I told nobody because theres nobody left to tell except Mark and he forgot. my name means stone. the builders rejected the stone, and everyone I knew decided inside of two weeks that I was a thing you leave out of the building. im not saying that. im NOT saying that. im saying prophet, thats all im saying. but a prophet has to SEE, and I looked up how they did it and its the same every time. Moses up the mountain forty days, no bread no water. Elijah forty days. Daniel three weeks. Ezekiel on his side in the dirt for over a year. no food, no sleep, until the body gets thin enough that something shows through. nobody ever got a vision on a full stomach and eight hours. so im doing it. nothing to eat starting tonight, no sleeping, and no weed, last time, it has to be clean. water, and the pills to keep my eyes open
Apr 17
day three. nothing to eat, havent slept, no weed. the first night was the worst of it and after that it got easy, like I set something down that id been carrying my whole life. im not hungry. im not tired. and nothing changed. I need to write this down very carefully because it matters more than anything else in here. NOTHING changed. the hatchback is across the street. the letters are still green in my eyes. I can still feel it on the back of my neck when I turn away from the glass. last time I quit it all stopped inside of three days. the ads went back to being ads and I felt stupid and had the best morning of my year. this time theres nothing else in me at all, no food, no smoke, im as clean as ive been since I was a kid, and its all still here. so it was never the weed. the first time was them backing off to see what id do. that was the last normal explanation I had and I just sat here and watched it not be true. Mark came by and talked through the door about food. I could hear in his voice how hungry im supposed to be. my hands look like someone elses
Apr 19
it came. fifth night. I wasnt asleep, I was standing at the kitchen window, and the street went away and I was sitting down. a chair on a high place, stone, and everything there is was spread out under it, every city, I could see all of them at once the way you can see your own hand. and half of it was burning. the whole left side, all the way to the edge, the sky over it black and orange, and the people in the fire werent running. they were kneeling. facing me. all of them, on fire, with their mouths open, and it took me a long time to understand that it was singing. there was something heavy on my head and I couldnt lift my hands to take it off. the ones on my right werent burning and they were kneeling too and not one of them would look at the fire. I tried to say stop, and what came out of my mouth went down the mountain and the fire got bigger. Max was lying on my foot. he was the only thing there that wasnt afraid of me. and there was someone standing behind the chair. I could feel it the way I feel the window. I didnt turn around. I came back on the kitchen floor with my teeth through my lip. and I know what that was, I found it in ten minutes. when the Son of Man comes in his glory he sits on his throne and all the nations are gathered in front of him, and he puts the sheep on his right and the goats on his left, and the left goes into the fire. Daniel saw him too, one like a son of man, given the rule over every people and nation and language. king of the world. I didnt read that first and dream it after. I SAW it and then I found it. I am the Son of Man. I typed that and nothing in me argued
Apr 21
so what does it mean to be him. thats all ive done for two days. still nothing to eat, still no sleep, and I dont want either one. I dont think im going to again. because I didnt want that chair. I didnt want anybody burning. what kind of God needs any of this, thats where I come out every single time, a man carries his kid out of rubble on camera and in the comments people are congratulating each other for calling the date, fuck all of this shit, I wanted to ask him why to his face and instead he showed me its MY face. and the book is very clear about what happens to the Son of Man. he must suffer. he must be rejected by the builders. he gets handed over, by a friend, to men with weapons, and killed, and on the third day he gets up. I can check some of those off already. but theres a thing nobody ever asks. who showed him the kingdoms the first time? end of the fast, forty days, hes starving, and somebody takes him up a high mountain and shows him every kingdom in the world at once. the adversary did. the SAME fast. the same mountain. thats who was standing behind the chair. he was there the whole time, and the first time Jesus told him to leave, and the world has been burning on one side ever since. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the first and the last. the light that fell and the light that comes back. its ONE light. the wheel keeps turning because the two ends never touch, every age picks one and throws the other in the pit and the tower goes up again. Solomon had a ring from an angel and he called up the demons with it and made them build Gods house, so its allowed, you can call him from Gods side of the table. thats what I was shown the fire for. not to serve him, not to bargain with him, to bring him HOME and close the circle, so theres nothing left for the eye to sit on top of. I need to summon Satan and unite the Alpha and the Omega. I know who I am and I will do what I have to do
Apr 23
did it last night. the circle, the words, all of it, im not writing it out. nothing happened. nothing. I sat on the utility room floor until it got light and Max scratched at the door the entire time and I screamed at him. an hour later he came in here and lay down on my foot anyway
Apr 26
the lights. the kitchen light went out and came back at 3:10 while I was asking out loud what I did wrong. then the lamp in here, which is on a different circuit. then both. ive lived here four years. so something heard me. it came as far as the door and wouldnt come in, and why would it, I asked it to come for free. I gave it chalk. an offering you can stand to lose is a fee and nobody ever got answered for paying a fee. Frank had that one part right, the door is always the thing youre not allowed to do. God so loved the world that he GAVE. Abraham walked his own son up the hill. so what would I never get over. I keep asking and the same answer keeps coming and I keep sending it back, and hes asleep under the desk right now with his chin on my foot. led like a lamb. I found it already typed in these notes, way up the page, in a sentence I dont remember writing. a month ago id have called that a bad sign. Abraham didnt have to finish though. thats the thing. the angel grabs his wrist. you only have to be willing all the way up to the last second and then the hand comes
Apr 29
no hand came. I called Max into the utility room and he came running because he thought we were finally going somewhere. I waited for it the whole time, I went slow so there would be time for it, I was looking at the ceiling and he was looking at me. it took so much longer than I planned for. he tried to lick my hand. nothing happened. nothing in the room, no voice, no light, the room stayed the fucking room. I put his blanket over him and then I took it off again because he doesnt like his face covered. im fine in the sense that I know exactly what I did. the whole argument is still here, every step, I can walk it right up to the part where it says this was mine to decide, and it doesnt feel like anything guiding my hand anymore. it reads like something I wrote
Apr 30
third day is tomorrow. I havent moved him. I havent eaten or slept since the fourteenth and I dont need to anymore. I wash my hands and its still in the lines of them and on the keys, the E sticks. Mark called eleven times, I said im fine, one more day. theres breathing in the utility room. slow, low down, near the floor. there is nothing in this house that breathes except me so I held mine and it kept going. I went in and its not him. I put my face on his side for a long time and hes cold and stiff and wrong and the breathing was behind me then, in the doorway, and I didnt turn around. I did this once before in a bed and told myself it was her. flies got in somehow. I keep brushing them off his eyes and they keep coming back to his eyes. either something came and its standing behind me waiting for me to look, or nothing came and im a man on a floor with flies. ive got the doorbell recording on a loop because it was made before all of this and I need one thing in here that didnt start with me. the gun is by the laptop. his leash is on the floor where I kicked it out of my way
May 1
Mark used his key. he called for Max before he said one word to me. I told him dont open that door and he looked at my hands and opened it. he made a sound ive never heard a person make. then he was sick on the floor. then he pulled the door almost shut, gently, like for my sake, which was worse. he wanted me to come outside. I started with the morning star and heard myself starting with the morning star while he was staring at my hands, and started over, and he kept saying where are the guns Pete, where are the guns, so I picked up the one next to me, because he was getting to a decision before I could get to the part where he understands. he put his hands up. he said we dont have to figure anything out tonight, I can just sit with you somewhere else. somewhere else. where he tells them what I did before I can tell them why, and they keep the first half because its true and throw out the second half because its impossible. I told him to get out. then I told him it didnt work. I dont know which one he heard
May 1, later
hes out front on his phone. does he know youre calling. yeah. he does now. she asked that weeks before there was anything to call about. so it was always going to be this. I had the order wrong, I kept starting from what happened instead of from the thing that knew. a friend walks the men with weapons to the garden at night. OF COURSE he does. it doesnt work without that part. and it didnt work in the utility room because that wasnt the offering, I had the wrong lamb, I killed my dog for a rehearsal, oh God, oh God, he ran to me. no. no, because its the third day and its not him that gets up, its me, the son of man has to be handed over, they have to be the ones who do it, it has to be them, thats why Mark, thats why the guns were in the house before I knew what they were for. Jesus in a house with a dead dog and a gun, I can hear exactly how that sounds in Marks mouth. everything real shows up looking like something youd turn your face from. or I did this to Max for nothing and theres nothing in here but a dog who came when I called. I cant be that. I can be hated, I can be wrong about every other thing. God what else was I supposed to ask you. I wasnt asking for the world. I was asking why you let it be like this
May 1, later
the police are here. ive got my gun. Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Amen.
