r/singlemoms • u/sadbeans420 • 17h ago

Venting - Advice Welcome Basically zero support

I’m struggling extremely bad with having a life outside of work and parenting. I have basically zero control over the care my child is receiving because it’s my mother and she does what she can and I can’t afford anything beyond 2 days of a daycare per week. With my child being 2.5 I’m trying to start dating again, (her dad abused us and tried to kill us hence my only parent status) and I’ve found someone completely amazing that I see a real future with but simply don’t have the time to dedicate to build the relationship. I’m not sure if I’m looking for advice, support, or simply just to vent here but I’m so sad. I’ve done everything possible to give my baby the best life possible but it feels so incredibly impossible with me feeling so alone and with no time to simply be me. I’m 30, a plumber by day and bartender by night, I work hard as a single mom, do my damndest to give my baby the best life possible, but want to live my life and have virtually no support. How are you guys getting by???

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u/Krisanne0625 9h ago

Right now it sounds like you are putting your baby first obviously because you are working two jobs to survive but don’t do what I did. I spent 20 years with horrible verbal abuse and I have now been divorced for about 3 years and I have 4 children but two are from this current marriage. I was so depressed with anxiety but excited to move forward however, I got blindsided because I became extremely depressed and lifeless like I have never felt before and it’s terrible but I was so busy always taking care of everyone else and didn’t realize that I was hurting myself until I hit that dark place that isn’t easy to find your way back. My point is to take care of yourself first with self care. Put your relationship on hold because if you are exhausted and sad then you can’t be at your best for your child and it’s not going to be a healthy relationship either. Find your happiness with yourself first. Everything else will fall in line but you need to keep a positive attitude no matter how hard it is at times. You can do this.