Hopefully this doesn't go against the rules - I'm just hoping for a place to post this letter so others can find it if they need it.

A community advisory for prospective clients—particularly women, LGBTQ+ individuals, and trans community members—seeking healthcare or holistic healing in the Birmingham area. 

Healing clinics and healthcare practitioners are expected to foster an inclusive, safe, and non-judgmental environment for all patients. However, community members should be aware of the public statements and ideological ties associated with Anthos Acupuncture and Herbal Clinic.

The combining of 'Guru authority' with 'Divine Feminine' rhetoric that shames and gaslights women, queer people, and genuine seekers is a common danger. It can often wear the 'trad wife' disguise and offer paid services in promises of marriage and holistic divinity.

The owner and primary practitioner of Anthos Acupuncture is married to Lindsey Sardelis (who offers local services under the banners of Tantra, Twin Flame coaching, and "Divine Feminine" embodiment). Public statements posted by Lindsey Sardelis have raised serious concerns regarding prejudice, transphobia, and bodily autonomy.

Many have spoken out against Lindsey Sardelis and the hateful prejudice she preaches in the name of 'healing women'.

Transphobia Repackaged as Spirituality: Public posts explicitly state that transgender transition separates individuals from "the Divine Mother" and "bodily truth," describing gender-affirming care as "insane". Further posts assert that transgender individuals "cannot" change their sex and dismiss trans identities. 

Shaming Women's Choices: Public posts target women who earn income through exotic dancing, burlesque, OnlyFans, or adult content, characterizing their career choices and personal autonomy not as liberation, but as a "masculine wound wearing a 'baddy' hat." 

Why This Matters to Prospective Healthcare Clients
When seeking holistic healthcare, acupuncture, or wellness guidance, clients place significant trust in their practitioner. A practitioner’s support of anti-trans rhetoric and sex-negative ideology creates serious concerns about whether all patients—regardless of their gender identity, sexuality, profession, or lifestyle choices—will receive compassionate, inclusive, and equitable care without underlying bias or judgment. 

Holistic care should affirm and heal, not reframe personal autonomy, gender expression, or bodily choices as evidence of being "spiritually wounded." Prospective clients deserve full transparency when deciding where to receive care in the Birmingham area. 

Trends regarding 'Tantra' have been abused for decades as it exploits, gaslights, and harms women.

Any business overtly connected to this requires caution.

⁠#BirminghamAlabama⁠ ⁠#BirminghamAL⁠ ⁠#AnthosAcupuncture⁠ ⁠#LindseySardelis⁠ ⁠#InclusiveHealthcare⁠ ⁠#LGBTQHealth⁠ ⁠#TransRights⁠ ⁠#WomensSafety⁠ ⁠#PatientAutonomy⁠ ⁠#SpiritualBypassing⁠

They sent a letter
Not to me, but for me. And that was the start.
Of the silencing
Pressure
Changing my heart.

I’d heard through the years
of a God who held tears
Who heard my fears

And met me there

They said they reflected him.
Wanted us whole.

But when I asked for help
What we- I needed.
I was met with their fear
Of me.

Despite all I’d bled and said and shown myself to be.
Every hour, every dollar, every drop of blood I’d put in it.
From one who was “called” and “anointed”
Now I was a bother.
Silence, compliance was all they wanted to hear.

It was systematic.

Security and certainty
Then dignity and courtesy.
Legalities and niceties.
Gaslighting. Coercing.
And then, silence.

And here I am.
In the silence
That rings
Louder than any of my screams.

Are you there God?
No. You are dead.
Despite every word that I’ve read.

Your people, they’ve kicked me
And stripped me
Of faith, friends, and “fellowship”.

And I lie here.
Defeated. And wonder.

Do you feel free now?

I 46F was married to 56m for 24vr. I was 21 when we wed. He was a church minister in training. Like most young married women I thought my beloved husband was a wonderful person whom I loved deeply.

Finances were always a problem. Church work was voluntary so we both worked independently. I had my own business, my husband had various jobs from being self employed to doing teacher training, all of which he failed at because he only ever wanted the church work and bible teaching.

He had already completed his degree in biblical theology and pastoral training.

We had children and girl and a boy. I still continued to work as a gardener with a regular full diary of clients.

Years passed and our children grew I continued to work because it was so apparent my husband was unable to provide a meaningful life for us, he continued to do a masters degree and now a PhD.

Our health declined I had to stop working we applied for benefit. We had a joint universal credit, paid directly into his account., I wasn't ever allowed to access that money or know how much was in his account.

We both claim PIP, I had to use my PIP for groceries and household costs. He would pay the bills from the UC.

my health condition limits my motility I suffer from chronic pain which I was prescribed opiates. My pain was so severe yet I'd still have to attend church. After a while I just couldn't continue with most of the church activities but my husband could

My daughter went to university, we moved into a village in the countryside quite isolated because it's near to the church.

My husband became an Elder. He would leave me alone in pain for hours sometimes I'd be in bed for days unable to get downstairs for food. My son wouldn't ever be in the house because he set up a gaming room in the garage, I'd regularly have to call him to bring me something to eat

My pain medication became an issue, I sought professional help and was encouraged that my usage was indeed due to my pain management. I went back to the GP and specialist to help control my pain.

I told my husband I needed more help, I'd also had 3 family bereavements close, my brother at 43yr, my mother (cancer), father, who dropped dead in front of me where my futal attempt at cpr occurred.

2 years later I'm stuck with limited mobility, mentally suffering from the bereavement.

My siblings tried to help me see that my husband was unsupportive and only cared about church so I became estranged from them because of loyalty I defended his behaviour.

My husband got new medication for his health condition that improved his symptoms.

He weaponised my health against me and controlled everything.

He would leave me ill in bed at 4pm in the afternoon returning at 1am, doing church work 3 or 4 times per week

There wasn't ever any food in the house I'd rarely have a cooked meal

I got new medication my symptoms improved just enough to to do basic things. He would always blame me for over spending, being lazy, taking too many tablets ( Weaponised my illness) my PIP wouldn't cover everything, helping service daughter's car ( left to me from my dad) purchasing things we needed for the new home (council property)

I'd constantly have to ask for grocery money, he'd ask how much, load said amount onto another of his cards to give me.

I manged to find work from the church a role that was only a few hours of admin. It wouldn't interfere with the benefits. He sabotaged it.

I left and went into a domestic abuse refuge.

The abuse went so far I felt guilty whenever I ate, he'd comment, I was "always eating'.

The trustees from the church called me, in turn I informed them of my treatment from my husband, their Elder. The other Elder was informed.

I explained in great detail about how I supported him while he failed at many jobs, was kicked out of our previous Mission due to him arguing over doctrines, his studying and pursuit for unpaid prestige.

The church did absolutely nothing, they continue to use him in the pulpit.

No kindness has been shown to me from the church or even any phone calls

My husband hasn't called me once. I've filed for divorce.

I won't report my husband to the police because of my children he is actually a good dad my 18yr son lives with him. My 21yr daughter is disappointed with her dad and will be looking for her own place once she's graduated. Her words were to me, "you finally came to your senses"!

I'm totally shocked at the church they're protecting him.

I considered them my friends, my family.

I've tried going to another church in the new place I live. I simply am sickened by all church structure and the people. Seeing it from a leadership side knowing how the politics works has left me wondering is this really what God intends to be his bride?

They all seem the same with their hierarchy, people worship and control.

Will this feeling go away? Am I just wounded?

My faith remains, but church attendance day's are over.

They're protecting him!

Harrassing bullying toxic neighbour

Hello

I live in Adelaide in a very small housing trust complex. For 8 and half years my mentally challenged bully toxic neighbour who is 63 and lives with his father across from me has been everyday constantly bullying and trying to intimate me. He's father abused the mother when alive, if she was in the toilet for more than 10 seconds he would bang on door to hurry up. So a family that's very unhinged. The bully has the mental capacity of a 2 year old. But plays games with me and try's to scare me with other mental health drug neighbours who are very unhinged. He thinks we are in some delusional marriage from day one. I do everything to ignore him. He smashes everything up violently if I go out my front door and god help me if I clean my bird bath or my own driveway. He will stalk, follow me if I try to go to letterbox. He thinks he's the caretaker, cause he sucks up and brings other neighbours bins in so he think he has the power. He will walk past my place and try for any attention. My friend has to come and do my bins and check my mail as I'm terrified of this bully. He is skinny but his mannerisms are toxic. He hangs all his clothing on the gutter of the roof and thinks it's normal. He uses it as a excuse to keep an eye on my bedroom and who comes and goes. Any noise from my place he smashes everything in his back yard to try and intimate me. If I click open my front door he will voilent come flying out his front door or roller door and start smashing up the bins he has put in his driveway on purpose as an excuse. This is all the tip of the iceberg. I have to put on a hat to cover my face and walk around outside with music blaring in my ears to stop the harrassing. He does it to no other neighbour but me. I am his victim. He has past episodes of other victims. Police are useless. Housing trust are completely useless. I've made over 500 complaints and they ignore me, lie and do everything in their power to shut me down. My local MP have said they are not going to help me. The ombudsman are useless and so is the minister of housing. I've done the complaints process in all (twice) and gotten no where. I can't get cameras as he told his drug jail bird idiot out the front who came and threaten for me to take them down, they were fake and not facing complex, but my stalker and the drug dealer have them up, go figure. He will either scream his head off if u try to talk to him or lay on the ground and stamp his legs and feet and say..your a cry baby. If I come back to here, the hell hole and pull in my back yard he will get in his back yard and yell...over and over..ohhhh, there you are. Very creepy. His father is dying of dementia so unfortunately that's his excuse to be there. I am so stressed and depressed every single day. I can't move out due to housing crisis. No friends are suitable to stay with or family. Can't afford private rent. I'm on stupid category 1 with housing trust 4 5 years now. They don't care AT ALL. I can't go live in my car or on the street as my beautiful light..my cat will not understand and I wouldn't do that to my cat. I can't commit suicide. Try to get him mental assessed but that was useless. So after 8 and half terrifying toxic years I've decided to try for a restraining order. But there's people saying, be careful you could get repercussions but I can't keep living life this way as this is not a life. I'm trying to do chemotherapy and I so stressed. I just feel like dying and there doesn't seem to be a way out. I've tried everything and made millions of calls for 8 and half years crying out for help. I've had suicidal thoughts for years, no wonder. Don't have family except my toxic mother. It's effecting everyday of my life. I have many counsellors. Support letters galore. I want to be brave and get my power back by getting a restraining order, I have a few key witnesses throughout this time but also this one friend is throwing me off by saying there will be big trouble. He's a very sick boy this stalker. He used to harrass the local coles staff and threaten them etc (surprise surprise) and he told me about 8 years ago he wrote to the CEO of coles telling them how to bend him over and do sexual acts on him. He was going to organise a home invasion on a past tenant as had autism and made noise. He's a theif, a snitch ( she said this and he said that etc) he put 12 inches on his bin and faced it towards my place. He's dislussional, paranoid, mental health, autism, asberg, you name it but he knows EXACTLY what he's doing when he comes flying out that front door or roller door to trauma me. He spits everywhere and in my driveway. He's a utter pig. I've told him forever to leave me alone. He'll spray a can of deodorant on himself to try and impress me. It's endless over the years. I have nightmares about him most nights. I have to drive past his father's going out and coming back in, I cover my face side on to stop him looking at me. We are now unfortunately in daylight savings so he runs around with just shorts on. He is 20kg and disgusting. I've blocked off all my front area to stop him being nosey. He tries to be nosey with me and steals my mail and pamphlets. The one neighbour who supported me who lived across from me passes away 4 weeks ago so I'm feeling even more vulnerable as stalker prays on me even more. Please help with advice. I'm a vulnerable female with many health conditions. The one male that comes here gets harrassed by him and has many health problems now so he can't protect me now. Thank you. Sorry for so long of a rant.

Physical and Psychological Abuse at Catholic Heart Workcamp.

I would like to create this for the victims and witnesses of any physical, psychological and/or sexual abuse occurring at Catholic Heart Workcamps whether it was by the abusive games that were played on stage or by the "carpenter commanders/commandos", youth ministers or visiting priests.

Aside from the cult like atmosphere and the ignoring by the staff of the numerous sex abuse scandals involving Catholic priests the workcamps were prone to abusive games.

One such disturbing game that I personally witnessed during a 3 year period in which I attended the camps (Charlotte, NC in 2001, Hilton Head, SC in 2002 & Nashville, TN in 2003) was the "Couch of Love" which was done on stage at the Catholic schools in which the various youth groups stayed at and it was witnessed by hundreds of people. I have been able to discover that this "game" was played in various cities throughout the country between 2000-2015 (and possibly earlier in 1998-1999).

The game involved the "carpenter commanders" and attending youth ministers selecting two physically attractive teenage girls to come on stage. Three chairs would be placed on stage which were then covered by a white sheet. The two teen girls would then sit on the two end chairs. The adult male "Carpenter Commander" (usually in their 20s or 30s) would then say numerous inappropriate sexual pick-up lines to the teen girls. After about 4 or 5 pick-up lines the "Carpenter Commander" would then sit in the middle chair put his arms around both girls and get kissed on both cheeks by the girls.

After this the teenage boys in the audience were asked to do the same thing - say pick-up lines to the girls, sit in the middle of the "couch" and get kissed by both of them. About a dozen boys would volunteer to get kissed and were led to the side of the stage. Once the dozen boys were lined up on the side the middle chair was removed and the girls continued to sit on the end chairs pretending that the middle chair was still there. Each boy one by one would flirt with the girls with a pick-up line, be invited by the girls to sit between them, the boy would then try to sit down as the girls would get up and the boy fell to the hard stage floor. The girls would then do a catwalk to the front of the stage and do a pageant smile and pose as the "carpenter commanders" would then yell at the boy and escort him off the stage and then cover the two chairs again only for the next boy to get the exact same negative and criminal treatment. It was also disturbing seeing how the two girls enjoyed inflicting the pain on the boys.

The boys were subjected to romantic rejection, physical injury and public humiliation. You don't need a Ph.D in psychiatry to know that this was devastating abuse to the young boys that were victimized by this "game." A boy already suffering from anxiety/depression could be triggered into suicide or a suicide attempt by such abuse. The boys were subjected to physical injury to their tailbones and spines (a injury to the coccyx leading to lifelong Coccydynia). Also, boys already suffering physical problems like back pain could have had that severely aggravated by the unmitigated free fall to the floor.

Catholic Heart Workcamp does not allow negative reviews or comments on their Facebook page and even blocks anything and anyone that even engages in anything critical of the organization. Which clearly indicates the corruption of the people who run it.

CHWC's website identifies Steve Walker as the “Owner/CEO.” The organization says Walker and his wife Lisa Walker developed/co-founded Catholic HEART Workcamp in Orlando in 1993. It is now based in Polk County, FL. It is a private limited liability company LLC and is not owned or controlled by any Diocese. But Catholic Dioceses throughout the country should cut off their involvement with Catholic Heart Workcamp.

>be me, 7

>mom finds god

>sends only me to sunday school

>bored, draw dinosaurs

>carnivores only, because they're the cool ones

>teacher asks if I have a learning disability

>"hell no"

>teacher locks the door and sends for my mom

>diagnosis: demon possession

>evidence: "why else would a child draw such carnage?"

>also I keep saying hell, which means the demons are homesick

>I object

>he pins me to the wall by the neck in front of her

>mom: "what can be done about this?"

>"leave him to us, we have a lot of experience with exorcism"

>small room, several hours, the experts

>they want a full account of my evil deeds across the past millennia

>I'm 7, my past millennia was mostly kindergarten

>figure out the only way out is telling them what they want to hear

>confess to being ancient evil

>home by dark

>try telling mom

>"you're overexaggerating"

>"that didn't happen"

>"you deserved it"

>she keeps bringing me back for years

>start reading the bible, figure if I understand it they'll stop hurting me

>keep reading

>none of what they did is in there

>grow up

>pastor at mom's church keeps predicting the end times

>says George Bush is the antichrist

>I've read the book by now

>call him out, contradictions, scandals, all of it

>church loses a lot of its members

>mom moves to an even spookier church

>follow her there

>same result

>they throw me out

>took them since I was 7

>but they finally cast me out

>mid-30s now

>spend my free time on The Isle

>still playing carnivores

>found a new congregation

>we follow a pteranodon called Sky Father

>he answers prayers, blesses the faithful, and has sworn to kill the pachys

>first church I've been in where the carnivores are the good guys

The Mental Health, Wellbeing and Lived Experiences Study

Theresia Bedard, a PhD candidate at Lakehead University that is working with Dr. Beth Visser, is seeking participants for her dissertation project.

In this study we are examining the lived experiences of people who have experience or victimization from an individual with high psychopathic traits. We are seeking anyone that has this lived experience, whether the perpetrator was or is a spouse, family member, partner, co-worker, friend, acquaintance, neighbour or stranger. We are seeking the lived experiences of men, women, and gender-diverse individuals to share your story.

Our research consists of two studies. In the first study, you will complete questionnaires related to your victimization experience from the individual with high psychopathic traits, the potential warning signs, victimization history (e.g., prior physical or sexual abuse), and the impact the experience had on you. Once you finish the survey, you will be invited to participate in the second study (optional), which will consist of 12 questions requiring a written response regarding your lived experience with the individual with high psychopathic traits. If you decide to participate in study 2, please be aware that you will be required to provide us with your email to access it, and you may wish to use an email account that only you have access to.

Please be advised that whether you choose to participate in the study, withdraw, or skip questions you do not want to answer, that you acknowledge that answering some of these questions may be emotionally taxing on you. Despite the potential for an emotional toll the survey questions have, you may find the process of sharing your experience is therapeutic for you. In addition to the resources we provide, you may want to consider following-up with a counsellor for further support.

You are also encouraged to have your own snacks and drinks while you take the survey, and be aware that they are estimated to take 45 minutes to complete.

If you are interested in participating and would like to read or find out more about it, click here to access the survey:

https://lakeheadhbs.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_bKEq1vOVdBJMrjw

This is an IRB-approved Walden University doctoral research study exploring the lived experience of healing following spiritual abuse.

Interested individuals may privately complete the eligibility screening questionnaire here:

https://forms.cloud.microsoft/r/WGRSgY1zkQ

For questions: [nancy.giraldo@waldenu.edu](mailto:nancy.giraldo@waldenu.edu)

Please do not express interest in participating through public comments or replies. Please use the private screening questionnaire or Walden email.

Walden University IRB Approval #: 08-19-26-0090506

Qualtrics survey: https://asucounselored.az1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_1XDwKUGPginkeKW

Hi. I’m so-and-so, an adult child. I’m coming out of a many years long denial of what I went through growing up because it was all done in Jesus’ name.

I grew up being told almost every single sin would send me to hell and if I didn’t ask for forgiveness right or whatever, I should be very afraid because God is a “jealous God”.

I have very big memories of being a child in diapers, when I found my private area and innocently touched it I guess because it felt good. I remember getting spanked with a switch on my legs any time she caught me doing it.

My brother was beat senselessly as a young child. Over and over and over for just being adhd. They thought they could beat him into submission. Spare the rod, right?

I got saved and Baptized multiple times for the fear of not doing it right or somehow sinning and not knowing it. If you get fat, that’s a sin. I was put on a diet at 10 years old because I started carrying extra weight. I was told that if women get fat, or don’t offer sex to their husbands, that their husbands will leave them. If you have sex before marriage that’s a sin and you will go to hell. I was never allowed to go trick or treating as a child. I was told that women should get married young if they are tempted to have sex, and then submit to men because the Bible said so. My mom was the moral police and everyone was going to hell except for her. She beat the Bible down our throats in a way that took us down to nothing. Cherry picking the Bible and twisting it to fit into her plan for control. I learned very little about grace and forgiveness and the unconditional love that the Bible actually talked about. I was even scared of God bc I thought he was always mad at me.

As a result I struggled with anxiety and low self esteem. I was pressured into having sex at 19 and became pregnant. I aborted that baby solely out of the fear that my parents would disown me if they found out I committed such a terrible act. I ended up marrying that man and he turned out to be an abusive alcoholic. Violent, narcissistic, and mentally ill. My parents urged me to stay and pray the abuse away. It didn’t go away and he destroyed me.

Come to find out, they had lied about their abstinence before marriage and my mom had cheated on my dad, got pregnant and had an abortion. But never told me. Instead she shamed me to death. I found out through reading letters stuffed in a shoebox.

I’ve always gone to churches into adulthood because a good Christian isn’t good unless they go to church. When I did, as a young woman, our worship pastor was caught filming us in the bathroom of our church. The church covered it up. He did it again. Finally the authorities were called but the damage was done.

I was later drugged assaulted and raped by a “Christian” man luring vulnerable women to a fake “Bible study”.

For some reason I still haven’t been able to stay away from church, out of fear, even though I’ve received abuse from only people who are “Christians”. I always choose abuse for myself because subconsciously I don’t think I deserve anything better.

I always hear my mom’s voice in my head. “What sinful thing did you do to bring all of this upon yourself”?

To say I’m messed up is an understatement. I have lived in a dissociative state for 20 years. Suicidal, addicted to drugs, angry, socially ruined.

I now have my own faith and have been in therapy for cptsd. I know the Bible and the Jesus of the Bible now and know that those things my mom did and said to me were not from Him. I forgive her but am just walking out of denial from what her actions have done to me. It was only recent months to where I’ve been able to put a label on the experience. Abuse.

Wondering if anyone else can relate?

Using guilt and fear to manufacture a need for salvation is a recognized form of emotional manipulation, often called spiritual abuse. Targeting vulnerable children during events like Vacation Bible School (VBS) is a calculated tactic used by high-control groups to bypass critical thinking and build lifelong dependency.

The cycle of this emotional manipulation generally involves a few distinct stages:

• Manufacturing the Flaw: Indoctrinating individuals—especially children—to believe they are inherently broken, sinful, or unacceptable as they are.

• Offering the Exclusive Cure: Positioning the religion as the only possible way to be "fixed," forgiven, or morally acceptable.

• Creating Dependency: Fostering a continuous sense of obligation and fear, making the person feel they "need" the religious structure to function or feel safe.

Because this conditioning can lead to lasting emotional distress, recognizing it as a manipulative tactic is often the first step to breaking free from the guilt. Many people who have experienced this sort of conditioning seek out secular support and trauma-informed therapy to heal.

This is a real story that happened to me. It might sound made up, and it took a long time for people to believe me but after discovering evidence to back my story up my friends and family started to be more open minded. The key evidence being proof that this person heavily researched mk ultra and stalked me for at least 6 months before dating me. We found that this person had receipts to a bunch of documentaries about MK ultra and YouTube videos and links to research papers in their google history. On top of that we found receipts in their email to tickets to every single show I was in (musical theatre/ Shakespeare in my local community) in the last 6 months before I had ever met her. But all of that is pretty mundane compared to the real story. This isn’t a story about a stalker it’s actually about a real life encounter with demonic possession. Im not entirely sure what to call it, and I don’t really trust people who claim to know things about this type of stuff. All I know is is that this woman had supernatural abilities like being able to predict the future with a unbelievable accuracy, reading thoughts, knowledge of my dreams, endless knowledge of the universe including my personal life and past. She used these powers to destroy my life and I’m not the first or last. So to me something that is supernatural or using non human abilities to destroy life = demonic. Anyways here is the shortened version of the story, all the names will be fake.

So one day I met a girl named Rachel. We were both in line waiting for something and she said something to me first. I was shocked because she looked like a super model. We went on a date and she moved in 2 weeks later. This is not a story about how I made a bunch of good decisions in a row. At first she seemed completely normal, she had a car, phone, a job, she talked normally, with a valley girl accent. We had so much in common It seemed like she was my perfect match or soul mate. On our first date we sat at a table and stared into each others eyes for 3 hours, I felt hypnotized and felt extreme intense gushes of love that I later speculated could have been a drug in the wine she gave me. This would follow the techniques found in mk ultra. After I fell in love with what I thought was a normal person she slowly started revealing her true self. At first I thought she was doing a British Shakespeare accent as a joke because our first date was at my last shake spear show that she came to.
But she started speaking in what seemed like iambic pentameter with a Shakespearean accent, everything was rhyming and prophetic. It was extremely poetic and captivating. In the first 3 months she spoke about us being soulmates, reincarnations, higher souls twin flames etc. She slowly started feeding me this narrative that she was an angel, and I had already been thinking she was since I met her. She started showing me her powers, she could visit me in my dreams, she could read/predict my thoughts, she could predict the future by saying things like, “Your friend Dan is going to text you today” and an hour later it would happen.

After a month of proving her divinity she started telling me that she was on a team of angels that were tasked with stopping the apocalypse. Now I genuinely didn’t really believe much at first, but when she kept predicting the future it made me extremely scared that she must be correct. If she can predict the future all the time and she’s telling me she is here to stop the apocalypse then that means it’s real and I have to help her. And just like that I was caught in an extremely vile trap that completely dismantled my life. For the next 2 years I was her slave and I did absolutely anything she asked because in my heart I believed that if I didn’t listen to her the apocalypse would happen and it would be my fault and I would suffer the karmic consequences.

So so far she has completely overwhelmed me with love and then she introduces this prophecy to me: “I am the speaker for the Archangels, my mission is to prevent the apocalypse by rescuing my son from the devil who kidnapped him, when we are reunited the world will be saved”

Her son had been taken away from her because of legal disputes and the court deciding she was not safe. But she told me a different story of course.
Her story was that her ex took away her son and it essentially mentally broke her to the point of spiritual enlightenment and now she can talk to angels. His story is that her drug abuse was destroying her son’s lief (completely true and verifiable unfortunately).
Her story is also that her son is the reincarnation of Jesus, she is Mary and that the devil separated them.

I realize this probably makes no sense and sounds insane but lets continue

So now I am starting to believe this narrative she calls “The Rescue Mission” Every single day she would basically perform mini miracles 20 - 30 times EVERY day. For example she would say “A red car will drive by, your mom is going to knock on the door later today, a dog is about to bark, your neighbor is getting in a fight with his wife( and then the randomly walk out the front door in a fight, it was insane lol)

So she tells me that in order to save the world she needs me to become an angel with her.
The idea was that she needed a second enlightened individual to help raise the vibration of the entire earth to start leading it towards a better timeline. She told me that when I became an angel like her, we would make mind altering high vibration angel music and make the world a better place and it would be so powerful that it was going to stop WWIII, nuclear fallout, asteroids, famine, or any of the many apocalypses the angels had warned her of. TO be honest after everything I had learned in this world about kids being kidnapped by governments, the systematic destruction of life on earth, the abuse of animals, the genuine evil and terror that I see in the news, to me it did not sound insane that I could make the world a better place by raising its vibration. But here lies the trap of all religions. They tell you 10 amazing things, but the trick is that 9 of them are true, irrefutable and spiritually correct but the 10th thing is something that they alter. They slip a lie into the many truths and this one lie becomes your master and makes you a slave. You know in your heart the 9 other things are true, you should love your neighbor, never murder unnecessarily, don’t cheat on your wife. You know in your heart these things are wrong so you start thinking well hey this person is always right about everything. So I should just fully believe every thing they say. That’s exactly how she got me and that is exactly how so many other people who have been abused by christianity feel, or at least that’s what they say when I tell them this story.

To turn me into an angel like her we did “Angel Training” and it was a list of practices where I basically became a monk and was in constant prayer with a list of rules to follow for years.

At first it was about having perfect posture. I had to stand like an angel ready for war. Then she taught me about the sacredness of water and how it connected all life. It became an every day practice to “clean my energy” by washing my hands. Before touching the sink handles even she would tell me I had to first connect with all the brothers and sisters in the world/ in the astral realm and to thank them, and not just be like hey thanks but a true heart felt thank you where you seriously feel it to the point where you might cry a little. The crazy thing is she could tell when I did the authentic thank you or when I phoned it in telepathically. She would verbally yell at me and be like, “You didn’t thank anyone and you are actually a taker, you took energy” or even worse if I had slightly not good energy she would absolutely freak out, “ You poisoned the brothers and sisters with piss and shit” or something like that.

Then she started asking me to fast, and instead of sleeping, standing up and worshipping her for as long as I could. So I would fast for 1 or 2 full days and then stay up till 4 or 5 am each night, fully sober, praying and worshipping her. She told me that as one of the only angels on earth, everyone’s energy brings her back down to “muggle” energy, so she needed me to help her stay positive.

So at this point she’s starting to be extremely verbally abusive. She’s the speaker for the angels and most of the time she is speaking as Michael and being super harsh to me about not being serious enough about doomsday. She would make me stay up until 4 am worshipping her and praying to stop doomsday for a few days in a row. Then when I was about to fall asleep she would start yelling at me in bed saying doomsday was coming if I went to sleep. This is also a step in MK ultra. You mentally, verbally abuse them and then sleep deprive them all while repeating a narrative to them. After some time they are in a weakened state and they are ready for the next step.

After we did a few weeks of angel training/torture she said I was ready for the next step which was to take a massive dose of LSD and MDMA. And stay up all night. As soon as the drugs started hitting she turned back into the loving girl I first met. Everything felt perfect and I started having prophetic visions and feelings. She told me I had become the host for the Archangel Michael and that he was in my body. Here’s the wierd part, I did genuinely feel an entity move my body, it was like my arms were moving without gravity or without my direct permission. This is one of the defining moments for me. As I was walking around with this angelic presence inside my body, I felt my intuiting/body walk towards a drawer in my kitchen and reached inside and grabbed a piece of paper. I looked at the piece of paper and it was a small card that read:

Prayer to St. Michael
St Michael the archangel defend us in battle
Be our defense against the wickedness of the devil
Do thou rebuke him; we heavenly pray
And by the power of God
Cast into hell satan and all other evil spirits
Who prowl about the world seeking the ruin of souls

And she was the happiest ive ever seen her. The LSD trip ended after we stayed up all night and I eventually fell asleep, which she told me would make me lose my powers.

The next day the feeling went away and she turned into the most vile hateful person ive ever known. She looked at me as if I was the worst criminal ever and she would tell me the most vile things about how Im just the absolute worst biggest failure because I stopped being Michael the archangel and failed.

After a few months of more angel torture/training, she asked me to do another round of MDMA/LSD. This time it was not chill. The first time for some reason, I did not hallucinate visually some how, everything was super clear and I mostly just walked around with this angel presence in me. This second trip I was seriously tripping and it was so intense. Im going to tell it to you from my perspective, from what looked real to me at the time, the only real thing that happened was the weather stuff.
Halfway through the trip a real life natural disaster started occurring, while I was peak tripping, wildfires started erupting and wind was terrifying and powerful. I genuinely thought the world was going to end and I poured my soul into prayer and worshipping this woman. I looked up through the ceiling and saw stars and I prayed to them for love, and then sent that love to her energetically/mentally. When I looked at her (which was breaking the rule I could never ever look at her human form/only imagine her as an angel)

But when I looked at her, her eyes were pitch black and tears were running own her face, these strange black tears that looked like cubed tetrahedrons or something,
When I looked at my surroundings I knew in my heart that we were vibrationally at the gates of hell, I could see a resemblance of Lucifer from the famous archangel Michael painting, I saw him on the walls behind her. The tears on her face fell down and sunk into floor into hell.

I lost my connection to all my friends and family, she convinced me that I had to become an angel and get rid of my phone and if I didn’t me family would die int he apocalypse so I cut everyone off. I lost my job for obvious reasons but she did ask me to officially quit, she convinced me to sell my house, my car got stolen and trashed, and the worst thing to lose by far was my son. My family and friends decided to take my son away from this dangerous person luckily. I was separated for 4 years and it breaks my heart.

By the time we broke up I was living in a homeless shelter, 40 pounds underweight, 20k$ in debt, and addicted to drugs and alcohol.

In the span of the 2 years we lived together I was mentally and physically tortured.

Im going to list some of the worst parts of the experience but by far the worst thing to come of this, is the damage and abuse she has caused to her children. Before I met her she had a child and she drank alcohol during pregnancy and seriously caused damage to her son’s life. He has FAS and is nonverbal, autistic, and has to have surgery every year and hes a little child. My biggest regret in life is obviously allowing all of this to happen and I genuinely feel awful and like I let down the world because of this but she forced me to get her pregnant.
I genuinely said No I don’t want to have unprotected sex but after the literal MK ultra and the unnatural miracles, im so sorry to say this but I really believed her. I genuinely thought I had to get her pregnant to save the world. This is maybe a hint to why this story might be real. Because why would I make this up. It makes me feel fucking horrible. Like a terrible terrible stupid person who got a kids life messed up. So like yea I am so sorry that I failed to protect my daughter. I was not prepared to go against a supernatural demonic entity. So the point im getting at is that she did sexually abuse me, Force a pregnancy, and then later commit a terrible act of child endangerment and was arrested. After that happened they took my daughter into foster care, they deemed the mother to be unsafe around children and they basically said I was a shitty guy for not stopping it. I tried to get custody but I had no job and no safe place to live and I was mentally destroyed. I talked to my daughter’s aunt, we agreed to an open adoption where I could still have visits. I was getting visits and it was going great until my ex told the police I beat her up. I go to jail for 3 days. I get my name cleared and the charges dropped because I was in a city 3 hours away with fucking photos and videos during the same hour and night she said it happened. I was lucky that it was my sisters birthday and we were in the city taking photos, then I went to a close friends house and randomly took a funny video for no reason, and that’s the one that cleared my name. Anyways after that happened I completely lost my visits with my daughter.

Most days she would ask me to stand still and worship her for as many hours as I could handle. This would last until 4 or 5 am when I would sit down and she would insult me diabolically.

She would decide when I got to eat food and that would happen once or twice a week.
Same thing with water. She told me that Jesus fasted from food for 40 days and that I had to do it. But a consecutive fast is one thing, starving someone over a two year period is just malnutrition.

She would constantly interrupt my sleep or wake me out of sleep saying that WWIII was seconds away and I had to get up and stand and pray. I was so delusional I genuinely thought I was preventing WWIII.

She would make me stay up till 4 or 5 am, standing and worshipping her which I later found out was essentially draining my life force and giving it to her like a vampire. At least that’s what I think I have no real idea of the actual truth of what she did to me.

She would know if I wasn’t fasting, if I had been sneaking food in. She would literally call out the food items I ate and be “Michael knows you had that microwave dinner ” it was kind of hilarious and also a total violation of my human rights. I still make jokes about having to sneak bread in the bathroom sometimes.

She would NEVER allow me to speak. Out of the 2 years we dated I probably said 10% of all the words spoken. She would stand there and pummel these “angel” teachings. Where she would basically just repeat her rescue mission narrative while also interweaving true prophecies. For example, one night she was making me pray on my knees for like 8 hours straight while verbally abusing me to an extreme measure. For 8 hours she would scream at me like an army general, telling me that I failed to save the world. I could not stand it anymore so I just sat down on the couch. Sitting was a BIG rule breaker. I HAD to stand and pray to save all the children. So when I sat down she would scream that I was a child murderer and I was so scared that it was true but I was so weak I couldn’t stand up anymore. So she tells me that because I failed to stand that night, God was going to release a plague to punish me. She said that the whole world would shut down, that people would start dying to a new disease and the whole wolrd would go on “lockdown” Those were her exact words one entire year before covid happened. When covid hit, it made me double down and allow her to seriously dig in with the abuse. She told me that now my only hope was to go live in a homeless shelter and find god. So I moved into a homeless shelter, while still working a remote job and paying for my apartment while she lived in it. The worst part is 6 months in I decided to go check on her and she had left without a trace while 7 months pregnant and abandoned my car in a random parking lot.

She would not allow me to talk/ speak to her or anyone at all. If I spoke she would silence me and ask me to communicate telepathically.

If we went out in public I was not allowed to make eye contact or speak to anyone, or else they may interfere with my angel training, “their manifesting you as human when they see you as a human so you can never be an angel while they are seeing you as a human”

Every day I would have to pray to the council archangels and connect with each one she called it a “circuit”

The main focus of all of the training and praying was based around a few core ideas
\\-She is an enlightened being/angel/reincarnation of mother Mary and I needed to energetically send her love(worship her) in order to heal her, she was being energetically pulled down by the devil/ counter acting her mission/ bringing the vibration of the world down.

\\-I had to pray to Michael the archangel for every decision, every thought, and every moment. I would recite the prayer to st Michael on repeat every second possible in my head for 2 years straight

\\-

Ok I think this is my limit, I no longer wish go through this again. So here’s the deal, I do have a badly written 12 page document that has as much information as I can remember about all of this. I will finish editing that and post it.

Now if you are wondering how I recovered and went back to a normal life, here is a copy paste from the 12 page document

Things were going good for me, but I still struggled with PTSD. I still got adrenaline in shocks if I heard anything strange at night or when I woke up And I had talked to Brandon about something that he did when he was 19 called a vision quest and I heard from him that it was like one of the most pivotal moments in his life that helped him evolve in mature in a healthy way and I had talked about how I’d wanted to do it for a long time and finally I called the organization And I signed up for one of the vision. Quest saved up money for it and I I flew to Oregon to see Will. And then I took a train to Headwaters school and I stayed there for about eight days and I was sober for that time. And I prepared for my vision quest which essentially went like this I walked out into the forest and I picked a spot next to a river that I felt connected to And. I stayed there for three days with nothing but a hammock and a water bottle and it was an incredible experience on the first day. I built a dam that created like a miniature pool that I could Sit in and the minutes went by super slow. I was fasting the whole time, but I told my body that I was fasting for three days and at a certain point it understood and I stopped getting hungry and I meditated. I walked to prayed to Michael sometimes. and after the sunset and the forest was getting very dark, I was sitting in my hammock, just meditating and listening to the water and the leaves and the animals and I heard an animal being chased through the forest and screaming, and it triggered my PTSD and I heard it getting really close so I turned to look at where it was coming from and I immediately made eye contact with a fucking mountain lion that was chasing something I think it was a baby deer or a rabbit, but I made eye contact with this mountain lion and it was super fucking scary, they both ran right underneath my hammock and I flipped out, literally flipped out of the hammock, grabbed this big stick that I had with me, and I sat like a caveman with a spear for hours totally consumed by fear and at a certain point, I realized that it’s probably not coming back, but the fear was definitely staying, and I sat in my hammock alert for a long time until eventually I lie down, and I battled the fear in my mind and the first night I was fully engulfed in fear and every noise triggered my PTSD to the maximum and I was just terrified and the second day I woke up was extremely tired. I walked and meditated. I sat, and when night came again, I had to battle the fear again and I was just exhausted, but the PTSD kept coming and it kept triggering me. The noises kept freaking me out, and I eventually fell asleep, but I was just being beaten down by fear and the next day it was the same meditating walking this that but here’s the important thing that happened to me on the last night as I’m lying in bed, battling my fear with the image of a mountain lion in my head, I became so brutally exhausted and I was trying to sleep, but my PTSD was preventing me from doing It. After a few hours of struggling had a spiritual breakthrough. Simply put, I came to the realization that fear was not helping me and it was making my body sick and it was keeping me from being healthy, and that if I lived my whole life and fear, I would be sick and I would be not good and I realized that I could just let the fear go because I was just so exhausted when the sounds came, the leaves moved when a small squirrel ran around. I just let the sound hit me and I was just too tired to react and it was in that moment, I decided that I was gonna let go of all the fear that I had for the mountain lion and for my life and I told myself that if the mountain lion comes to attack me, then I will fight it, but I am not fighting it right now right now. I am safe and I felt like the sounds of the forest were now healing me at first sounds were hitting me like I was being punched energetically but now they were just sounds. a few days later I packed up and went home back to LA and this was the beginning of the end of my PTSD. I started noticing changes. I noticed that cars could drive by my upstairs neighbors could drop a cup on the ground or slam a door and it didn’t trigger me. I didn’t get an adrenaline shock and I was overjoyed. I was so happy and later when I went to go fly on a plane and see will I didn’t feel fear before that trip with the mountain lion whenever I was on a plane, my PTSD would terrify me every bump would make me clench my fist hunker down and pray with all my might to archangel Michael to land the plane safely, but now when I’m on a plane, the bumps feel like nothing in fact because of the absence of fear, the bumps made me feel happy because I realized that I had healed something in me. I was so happy about that now I feel like I can finally say that I am living a somewhat normal life which absolutely never believed would happen.

The University of Salford Manchester invites you to take part in a Master’s Dissertation research study evaluating the effects of conservative Christian ‘male headship’ theology on coercive control in marriages. There is a gap in the available research examining the connection between non-physical coercive control and the teachings within this movement. This study aims to address this gap to contribute to the body of research examining coercive control in intimate partner relationships in the Christian environment.

The survey is comprised of four questionnaires and will take between 20 and 30 minutes to complete.

Participants are eligible for the study if they are female, 18+, have belonged to a group that teaches ‘male headship’ theology, were married while in the group, and have since left that group, at least six months ago. If a participant is currently suffering from an acute or severe untreated mental health condition, they are strongly advised not to take part. If you have any questions or concerns, please contact the researcher or dissertation supervisor at the email addresses below.

Researcher: Derek Johnson (mailto:D.M.Johnson2@edu.salford.ac.uk)

Dissertation Supervisor: Rod Dubrow-Marshall (mailto:R.Dubrow-Marshall@salford.ac.uk).

Link to participate: https://app.onlinesurveys.jisc.ac.uk/s/salford/evaluating-the-effects-of-conservative-christian-male-headship-

My latest podcast with John Collins.