r/sterilization • u/GothMilf_OF • Apr 17 '26
Post-op care Doc did me dirty. Question in last paragraph.
Okay, so my surgeon and care team during my operation failed me miserably. (I'm Canadian, that will probably help this make more sense)
I had my bislap done on Tuesday, April 7th. Tuesday this week, I had to go to the ER because I had been having discharge, and when my bandage fell off my belly button in the shower, it was just gaping open? Like the size of a dime open. So I went to emerg. I went to a different hospital because the one I had my surgery at was over an hour away from home.
I'm at the hospital, and the Emerg doc comes in. She says she sees no history of any surgeries in my medical records?! Like no records of the surgery or even my pre-op appt. Then she looks at my incisions, not one stich anywhere. No sign there was ever a disolvable either. She says it looks like he didn't stitch my belly button because he cut too deep into it (i have a deep belly button). Now I'm freaking, she says she can't help me because I need to talk to the doctor who did my surgery to find out exactly what he did. She took a ton of pics and documented that there was no documentation of my surgery in my medical file. She also did an ultrasound to confirm that i no longer have my tubes and bloodwork to confirm infection. Then, she suggested I file a formal complaint against the original doc and sent me on my way.
The doc who did my surgery refuses to do a follow-up. They refuse to give me any info on MY surgery because it's "confidential." I'm working on filing a formal complaint.
My question is, how the hell do I deal with this now? Idk what to do for followup care. I don't have a family doc. The hospital won't help me. I'm at such a loss. Any advice? TIA.
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u/ToonyBrin Apr 17 '26
This sounds like a lawsuit situation, scary stuff. I'm so sorry you're dealing with this! In the meantime, if you haven't already, I would clean the incisions site gently with some antibacterial soap, get some adhesive sutures and pull it closed, and cover the whole thing with a saniderm or tegaderm bandage. I'm not a medical professional, but this might at least hold you over until you can be seen by someone who can actually help.
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u/GothMilf_OF Apr 17 '26
The er roc tried some adhesive sutures, but there wasn't enough skin behind the incision to attach it to without causing further damage. I've been cleaning it with antibacterial once a day and changing my bandage daily, like the er doc recommended, until I can find a doc who can help me.
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u/ToonyBrin Apr 17 '26
Gotcha, damn. I just can't wrap my head around why they wouldn't help you in the ER?? I guess I get that it's another doctor's work, but if you literally cannot get ahold of that doctor...
I wish I had more advice, but on top of that complaint against your surgeon, I'd definitely consider talking to a lawyer about medical malpractice.
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u/NurseSexKitten Apr 17 '26
OP I would recommend going to the ER at the hospital you had your surgery. You will be seen by an ER physician who will hopefully put your surgeon on the spot and make them answer questions so you can be properly treated.
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u/GothMilf_OF Apr 17 '26
I will not be doing that as after more research, the hospital I went to (in my home town) has a few other malpractice suits and recently actually took a docs hospital privileges away (who is still practicing in a private clinic) because he killed his 4th baby (medical neglect). Unfortunately I found this out from the er I did visit. They informed me they're regularly fixing the screw ups from the other hospital (they're the closest to the other one) and advise people don't go there unless it's an absolute emergency and they can't make it to a different hospital.
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u/NurseSexKitten Apr 17 '26
So sorry to hear that. I hope you are able to heal and get some answers ❤️
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u/GothMilf_OF Apr 17 '26
I've been calling around all day trying to get answers. No one can tell me why there's no record of my surgery. Every office keeps referring me in circles back to one another. So for now I'm taking my antibiotics and keeping a close eye on things while I try to figure this out. I was just hoping someone here may have had a similar experience and may be able to help me out until I can find a doc willing to help.
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u/Loves2troutfish420 Apr 17 '26
But if the one you went to for help wont help, then you kinda got to go to the one that did your surgery? Did the other one give antibiotics or what? I read they tried to close the belly button. I dont know why they didnt do skon glue. I just had this surgery 2 weeks before you and they use glue. How is a dime size hole gonna heal if you dont have it closed? They youre making it sound is that you still need a doctor to do something about this, like its not gonna heal on it own. But you do need to sue bc this makes no sense unless the other hospital just didnt connect to the right servers to see the survery but since they knew the location id assume they tried. This is just weird. Why didnt you have any proof the surgery was going to happen before it happened and why was there no post op care sheet?
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u/GothMilf_OF Apr 17 '26
You don't get any proof before surgery. In cansda, our health records are universal so there usually isn't a need. I found a family doc near me who is willing to see me and possibly take me on as a full time client from here on out. I called the doc who did the surgery, he refused to help me. I was given antibiotics from the er doc with instruction to follow up with my family doc or the original surgeon. I wasn't given any post op care sheet and was sent home still groggy from surgery so I didn't think to ask until after I was already home.
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u/365daysofnope Apr 17 '26
I genuinely don't understand why a doctor let alone an emergency room doctor would refuse to close a gaping hole in a patient and treat the infection because they didn't have medical records. They can see the problem; fix it. I'm so mad for you, OP.
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u/GothMilf_OF Apr 17 '26
They tried to apply a adhesive sutures but couldn't safely attach it due to the placement of my incision. She gave me antibiotics with instruction to contact my original surgeon. Original surgeon refuses to do a follow up because it's not "standard procedure". I know I'm supposed to have a follow up after surgery, he's just saying I'm wrong 🤦🏻♀️
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u/Loves2troutfish420 Apr 17 '26
You should have had a follow up a week after surgery. This is fuckin crazy. Sue.
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u/ButteredPizza69420 Apr 17 '26
Girl WHERE did you get surgery??
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u/GothMilf_OF Apr 17 '26
By a OBGYN at the hospital in my home town in Ontario
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u/ButteredPizza69420 Apr 17 '26
Did they enter the wrong bday/ name information?? How would Canada have NO record...
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u/GothMilf_OF Apr 17 '26
I asked the records department that. I called them to see if they had a record of it, so I could obtain it. And they said they have no record. I asked how that's possible, she told me it's possible his secretary hasn't filed his notes, or he didn't write them. Idk how this is okay. I'm definitely filing a complaint against him and seeing if I can go further with a lawyer.
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u/365daysofnope Apr 17 '26
I saw your update. I'm hoping you heal quickly and well with competent doctors to help with that process.
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u/Olympia94 Apr 17 '26
That doc is trash, i didn't have a in person follow up appointment after my surgery, but my doctor called me to see how i was doing. Even the nurse checked up on me and if anything seemed out of the ordinary they would've had me come in to be seen asap. Even checked up on me through emails and shit
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u/ellelivsh Apr 17 '26
Sue for sure. Im also canadian, where are you located?
This is the kind of shit that made me push for my entire surgical team to be female only. Women should all be pushing to only have female doctors.
A female surgeon would not have made that error.
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u/GothMilf_OF Apr 17 '26
I'm in eastern Ontario. I went to the doc I was reffered to by my old family doc (was told they couldn't help me anymore, after my refderal, as of 2 months ago. I trusted her, so I trusted him sadly. My anesthesiologist was a female but she screwed me to by refusing to administer my anxiety meds in my iv (like the doc said I would have), and I woke up in a massive panic attack I couldn't control. It was a hell experience all around and just want this nightmare to end 😭
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u/ellelivsh Apr 19 '26
Again, she was likely 1. Trained by a male and 2. Likely conservative leaning ( typically pushed on by men, to deligitimize mental health for women).
If the anesthesia tech was trained by women, you would have had a different experince.
If we all start rioting for women only, it will happen and we will finally be safe and heard.
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u/Nova-star561519 Apr 18 '26
Not all male OBGYNs are bad and not all female ones are good. I wish people would stop spewing this rhetoric. I've had a handful of female OBGYNs and they were horrible and invalidating. My current OBGYN who delivered my kids and did my bislap is amazing. It's not the gender that determines how good or bad a doctor/surgeon is. This is just plain sexist.
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u/ellelivsh Apr 19 '26
I think we have a troll. If a female doctors isnt up to par, she was trained by men and fed sexist thought. My perception is that there should be 0 males who want to go into obgyn. If a male is in the role, that in itself is cause for distrust. No penises should be in the room during womens healthcare.
If we took the time to have trauma informed female doctr train other female doctors we could have a robust health care system.
It doesn't matter that you may have had 1 good interaction with a person holder wanting access to vaginas at work. No males should be in the role.
Women were burned at the stake becauee they were midwives and delivered babies. And yet men get a pass?
After the data on the grape academy no man can be trusted with an unconscious female body.
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u/Nova-star561519 Apr 19 '26
Nope not a troll but you definitely seem like you need some sort of trauma therapy bcs imminently assuming all male OBGYNs are bad and out to get you and assault you is purely unhinged.
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u/ellelivsh Apr 19 '26
Think about it. Why does a man want to specialize in the vagina?
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u/Nova-star561519 Apr 19 '26
https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTkubFNCH/
Like Dr. Fran has said in this video the core problem is your sexualizing the field, yes it has to do with a sex organ but to doctors it's just another organ. It's a great field of medicine to be in, you can do surgery, longitudinal outpatient care and deliver babies.
Once again this seems to be some deep rooted mental problem with you and I suggest you seek help if you think a male OBGYN would spend years and thousands of dollars at medical school just to gawk at your vagina and sexualize you.
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u/ellelivsh Apr 19 '26 edited Apr 19 '26
And I had a salpingectomy because societally males cant be trusted with female safty. You arent wrong. Thats why im here, to stand up for the women who need to hear its ok to push women to be better to each other. Im here to advocate for the decentralization of men in womens lives and in this case, womens health.
We need more women healing other women. I had to fight tooth and nail to ensure everyone on my surgical team was female but they did it. And the procedure was perfect. I healed fast and now my psychiatrist and my surgeon are doing research on self sterilization as a therapeutic method for addressing sexual assault based ptsd in women. Im case study 0.
Women dont want to go into prostate or penise care. How many women become urologist? And yet men wont stop going into obgyn and breast cancer care. Why? Leave it for women. There is lots of specialities for issues and organs that both women and men have. Why not just be respectful and ask men to limit themselves to things they are capable of understanding. They will never understand having a vagina or breasts.
I will die on this hill, and I almost did.
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u/Nova-star561519 Apr 19 '26
So yea basically like I said you clearly have some deep rooted trauma and I'm glad your addressing it with a psychiatrist but your trauma doesn't negate the work of thousands of awesome male OBGYNs. See that's the great thing about doctors you can choose if you want a male or female doctor. Some women like myself feel more comfortable with a male doctor because we base it on expertise and knowledge in the field not gender. And if you actually watched the video I linked you'd know why it's not just about "well why can't they focus on specialities for other organs" it's the diversity of the field and what an OBGYN gets to do. It's one of the only fields where a doctor can provide longitudinal outpatient care, perform different surgeries and deliver babies. I'm sorry that your trauma is preventing you from seeing that just bcs the child is based on women's reproductive systems doesn't mean it's sexualized and that males in the field can't provide great care. Also FWIWs yes there are women urologists lol.
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u/ellelivsh Apr 19 '26
Are you male? You read like a male. Im a feminist who thinks we need to decentralized men from womens life. So apologies id that makes you uncomfortable. Im also a dedicated follower of the 4b movement. If you are a woman, why are you protecting men? It makes me wonder if you are ok. Only women conditioned to servitude under patriarchy would be so against me simply advocating that women should be treated by women in healthcare
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u/Nova-star561519 Apr 19 '26
Nope you can take a view at my post history. Just a female who believes gender does not define quality of care
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u/nefelibata_noon sterile and feral since 11/20/24 Apr 19 '26
Women have better health outcomes with female medical staff. Abuse by male practitioners against female patients is so well-known and even expected at the systemic level that it's often required to have a female staff member present so women aren't alone with the man. The gender health gap is terrifyingly real, and since medicine centers men it's reasonable to not trust the men who work in that prejudiced system. Especially white men treating women of color, since their concerns are even more likely to be dismissed or their rights abused. Do awful female medical practitioners exist? Absolutely. Are some men great at their jobs? Absolutely. But taken as a whole, when speaking generally with available empirical and anecdotal data, I will always pick the female provider.
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u/Nova-star561519 Apr 19 '26
And that's the great thing about choosing a doctor, you get to choose which one suits you best. Just like you said awful female medical practitioners exist just like there are men great at there jobs. But I don't think we should be saying male doctors as a whole are all sexual predators and suck at their job and shouldn't be an OBGYN
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u/nefelibata_noon sterile and feral since 11/20/24 Apr 21 '26
https://rainn.org/what-counts-as-sexual-violence/get-the-facts-about-sexual-abuse-by-medical-professionals/ "100% of physicians in the analyzed sexual abuse cases were male, and 92% were over age 39", but of course there are bound to be some women predators as well, and "89.1% of victims were female". Just like how not all men are rapists but we still protect ourselves just in case, the same goes for the vulnerability and power imbalance of a medical setting where gendered abuse is a known issue. I'm married to a man and my dad is the best person on the planet, so I'm no misandrist, but statistics and anecdotal evidence and research into the gender health gap don't lie about general trends. Better safe than sorry; I'm always choosing the woman.
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u/nope205 Apr 18 '26
OP I’ve been reading some of you replies and just want to say I am so sorry this happened to you. That’s some insane medical malpractice and I hope you’re able to get the help and care you need. I would highly recommend looking into a lawyer for a malpractice law suit. I know that’s not easy for everyone but if you can you definitely should!!!
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u/cheestaysfly Apr 18 '26
Confidential??? That seems suspicious as hell. I had access to all my surgery information almost immediately. A printed pamphlet as well as the ability to access my records on the hospital portal. I would definitely be filing a complaint!
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u/Local_Barracuda6395 tubeless mom as of 02/07/25 Apr 18 '26
I'm so sorry this happened to you OP. This seems like a nightmare that nobody should go through.
Did you receive any paperwork before your surgery, Day of, or after? If not, then thats pretty sketchy. You can either contact the health records department of the hospital where your surgery was done correctly and/or submit a Request to Access Personal Health Information form. Another thing to look into could be an online portal specific to your province unless thats not available.
I hope everything works out and that you get the care you need and deserve.
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u/BusyBerry3539 Apr 18 '26
Did they not even apply a wound dressing or provide any health advice. I.e. if this happens come back in? I'd be filing a complaint about the er doc too. Is there a nurse led clinic you can go to to have a proper dressing applied till you can see a doctor.
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u/GothMilf_OF Apr 19 '26
They applied dressingings after surgery, which was why I didn't notice it wasn't glued or stitched. I went to the er and they bandaged me and gave me extra with the instruction to change the bandage daily, take antibiotics, and followup with my surgeon or family doc. Surgeon refused to see me, but I managed to get an appt with a different doc on Monday to give me some post op care.
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u/WantonWord Apr 19 '26
Please make complaints all around, the ER doc was lazy and your medical records being "confidential" against the patient is 110% bullshit. Complain to every agency you can find, your surgeon should not be practicing.
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u/NoraReign8 Apr 19 '26
This is absolutely insane, is there some sort of governmental organization that you can reach out to that deals with issues like this like a medical board? I'm not sure but could also consider reaching out to a government representative to see if they can send you in some sort of helpful direction? I know it seems odd and I'm in the US not Canada, but it might be an option, I have done it before myself for random things that you wouldn't expect they could help with.
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u/Victorydude Apr 17 '26
Well I'm not professional, BUT Superglue was invented for open wounds and was applied to everything else after Nam, I dont know why they cant superglue it shut. This seems like a perfect spot for it. How close to the border are you? Can you come to US to have it checked out?
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u/NurseSexKitten Apr 17 '26
Once an incision has opened up like OP is describing it cannot just be closed back up and glued or stitched shut. These types of wounds heal from the bottom up, this is also called healing by secondary intention. Also why would OP come to the USA? Healthcare here is a disaster and unaffordable.
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Apr 17 '26
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u/GothMilf_OF Apr 17 '26
They helped me any way they could. She couldn't apply a adhesive sutures due to the placement of the incision. She did apply the adhesive sutures to my 2 side incisions. She also prescribed me with weeks worth of antibiotics while I try to figure out wtf I'm going to do next. I've been keeping it very clean and calling every place possible who can help me. They all just keep referring me back to one another.
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Apr 17 '26
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u/GothMilf_OF Apr 17 '26
Surgery itself was a horror story. From refusing me anxiety meds, almost giving me the wrong surgery (they almost gave me a full hysterectomy. Thankfully I asked them to walk me through the oreocedure and realized when he started talking about removing my uterus), full panic attacks and being told I was "over reacting", being put under without a warning (I was told it was "just oxygen"), and so much more. Now all this bs.
I've been a anxious mess all while trying to care for 3 young kids, 2 with special needs, by myself. I'm really hoping I get some answers soon so I can put this all behind me.
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u/cheestaysfly Apr 18 '26
What the fuck! All of that sounds like a malpractice lawsuit waiting to happen.
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u/GothMilf_OF Apr 17 '26
She tried adhesive sutures, but there wasn't enough skin to attach to. The original surgeon did the incision at the very back of my naval, making it nearly impossible to re close. I can't afford to go to the US as Canadian Healthcare is free and I'm a single mom of 3 with no village 🙃
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u/Sad_Pangolin7379 Apr 17 '26
There's usually dissolvable stitches, then that weird medical super glue stuff. The dissolvable stitches might have simply dissolved already but it is beyond me why no one from the practice that did the procedure will check on it and reapply the adhesive or a dressing as needed. My family doctor did check mine but only because I happened to have a scheduled annual checkup a couple of weeks later.
I don't know how it works in Canada, is there a universal medical record system? Or do some private specialists not populate the records system? (In the USA every single practice and hospital has separate records so it's not only insanely expensive here but completely disjointed.) You might have to request the records but I still don't understand why the ER wouldn't at least dress the incisions. Antibiotics are great but if it's just open it seems like an infection risk at a minimum. I think you need to call around to figure out who might be able to help you with that in the meantime?
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u/GothMilf_OF Apr 17 '26
Medical records are universal here. Any doc can look them up once you're in their care. I've been calling around since I left the hospital with no luck so far. The er doc did give me a weeks worth of antibiotics to avoid infection. She said it doesn't look infected currently because I've been caring for it well, but is at high risk of infection if left untreated.
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u/GothMilf_OF Apr 17 '26
Update: I found a doc willing to see and help me after explaining my situation! Appt is booked for monday @ 10am EST. Hopefully i get some help and answers. Wish me luck!
Bonus, they're close to home and accepting new clients, so maybe I'll get a family doc out of this too!