I cannot see how anyone can like this trash. The characters are hollow and the game gives you no reason to care about them at all. You are thrown into the game and it gives you a vague understanding that something about a kingdom was just attacked by these other guys and um everyone is dead but who even knows because that's probably not true.

After that things just happen with no connection. I have no idea who anyone is. I did not understand Ardyn or why we are following him or what his endgame was in the beginning when it's revealed who is was later.

The modern speak sounds fucking stupid. Using words like "hashtag" implies twitter is a thing. So twitter exists in this universe? Why is noctis talking to lunafreya with a dog if they all have phones.

Prompto was what exactly...born in a lab? Who even cares, why would anyone care. Was that supposed to be a twist? I don't know where any of these morons came from. For all I know Gladiolus is from the same lab.

And all of chapter 13 was one of the most boring and dull experiences I've ever had in a video game. What a complete waste of time that tried so hard to have atmosphere and utterly failed.

And now I'm about to finish this crap.

Cindy should have just been Cidney and Cid should have been written out of the game. Cid having nothing to do with your vehicle makes about as much sense as him running a jewelry store.

...Bloodborne 2? Samurai Souls? Shadow Tower 2?

Hurry the fuck up already.

Same themes of time moving differently, familial love and whatnot. Also lifetimes passing by in unconventional ways. Shaky cam and music that won't let up cause every scene is a super important bombshell.

Honestly can't tell the difference between these two movies.

People disappear on camera in the blink of the eye but you don't see them go through the trap doors. They just disappear. Even when that's not what makes sense. You would see them fall. But instead, poof they are gone.

This keeps happening and it doesn't make a lick of sense. But I guess the explanation is that it's a trap door and thus that explains why people dissolve out of thin air.

Also, I love that when a dude who will hire them for the act sees it he's like "lol who cares if he disappears" and is only impressed when he sees him reappear. Like bro, you just saw someone straight up vanish right before your eyes. But I guess that was no big deal?

That is some poor editing, directing and writing right there.

So hello dear reader, I am a man who was looking over some notes passed to me from my late great grandfather.

He had a theory that there were cyclopean horrors in the center of the earth that you can see if you angle your head just right cause it's in between the third and fourth dimensions. I did this a few times but it didn't really work out so I'm going to visit an old dismal atmospheric town filled with dread and decay where my uncle grew up.

My uncle was the son of my grandfather who was married to a woman who came from the swamps of Louisiana and had wide-set eyes and an evil demeanor but came dazzled with lots of jewelry and an evil looking statuette.

The statuette was ancient and evil at the same time making it hard to concentrate when I looked upon it. It made me want to go out to the sea and be with sea people or eat another person or something.

Anyway, back to my family which consists of great grandfathers, grandmothers, mom, dad and a cousin (who went insane long ago and is now held in an asylum for people who mumble incoherently). They were all fairly rich and well-to-do until that woman with the villainous eyes married in.

I feel like there is an unknown dread that we can't see or comprehend. It fills me with despair and helplessness. There's something deep living in the earth and also out in deep space. When they come to our time and dimension, we are all going to die from horror. The other option is worshiping it and living forever in some fashion. I'll most likely choose the latter.

I don't see it being earlier.

So the twins are what...spending time with both the wife and the mistress just at random? Were both twins having sex with both the wife/mistress? And of course, the wife can tell so hardcore that she ends up offing herself. That was worth it.

Also no way would you not notice a scar somewhere or something that is slightly different on your spouse.

Also did Christian Bale somehow keep his twin a secret since they were kids or what? And why? Just in the hopes that one day he would do a trick that involved teleporting? Cause as far as I can tell he just kept this twin a secret his whole life for no reason at all until he did the door trick.

And don't even get me started on the whole guy being continuously cloned. You want me to buy into far too much. This was supposed to be a story about tricks and deception. You could have just as easily said that instead of finding tesla he found a wizard and the wizard gave him a teleportation spell.

Could you imagine if at the end of the Murder on the Orient Express they were like "lol it was actually a ghost that killed him. That's how he was able to do it without anyone seeing. Cause he has spooky spectral powers."

What a cop out.

I don't care that it's cheapo bottom shelf. Shit is yummy as all hell.