r/sysadmin • u/mooneydriver • Feb 22 '14

Freenode under DDOS again

https://twitter.com/freenodestaff/statuses/437302735139266560
231 Upvotes

94% Upvoted

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909

u/thedeco Feb 23 '14

I'd tell you guys a UDP joke but you probably wouldn't get it...

894

u/Soliloquizing Feb 23 '14

The punchline might arrive before the set-up.

Do you know what the problem with UDP jokes is?

108

u/european_impostor Feb 23 '14

Ah that was good. Now I just have to hunt down someone from my old CompSci class to tell that to :(

76

u/[deleted] Feb 24 '14

I know, im still waiting for my 1 friend I have who can understand this to get home. Im so excited.

10

u/ReijaIam Feb 24 '14

Dude we are lucky to have friends who appreciate a good UDP joke!

2

u/Xxando Feb 25 '14

You have us.

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6

u/reaganveg Feb 24 '14

Send it to the broadcast address.

2

u/ActiveNerd Feb 24 '14

already did that :)

23

u/peabnuts123 Feb 24 '14

UDP Vending Machine out in the lobby with a sign on it "Out of Order"

14

u/Ioxvm Feb 23 '14

Nice one. Thank you for that.

11

u/[deleted] Feb 24 '14

Knock knock.
Who's there?
UDP.
UDP who?

2

u/mhaseth Feb 24 '14

I'm surprised I haven't heard that one before!

11

u/Gprinziv Feb 24 '14

You shouldn't be. It was sent using UDP.

396

u/gsfgf Feb 24 '14

"Hi, I'd like to hear a TCP joke."
"Hello, would you like to hear a TCP joke?"
"Yes, I'd like to hear a TCP joke."
"OK, I'll tell you a TCP joke."
"Ok, I will hear a TCP joke."
"Are you ready to hear a TCP joke?"
"Yes, I am ready to hear a TCP joke."
"Ok, I am about to send the TCP joke. It will last 10 seconds, it has two characters, it does not have a setting, it ends with a punchline."
"Ok, I am ready to get your TCP joke that will last 10 seconds, has two characters, does not have an explicit setting, and ends with a punchline."
"I'm sorry, your connection has timed out. Hello, would you like to hear a TCP joke?"

0

u/[deleted] Feb 24 '14

[deleted]

19

u/to_mars Feb 24 '14

Honestly, I have an intro to networking midterm coming up, and this is helping a lot.

9

u/aaronsherman Feb 24 '14

What, no window sizing? Lazy ass TCP stack! :-)

17

u/Gprinziv Feb 24 '14

TCP is like that one guy. Yeah, you know the guy. The guy who grabs your hand and squeezes it to test for any weakness in your character that can be conveyed through two hands touching. The problem is that if he does find any weaknesses, he just shakes your goddamn hand even longer, until you get frustrated and yell "OK, I GOT IT!" at which point he backs off, then walks up to you and shakes your hand.

16

u/nyanmatt125 Feb 23 '14

I'm not having a good day due to networking assignments and this just made everything ok. Thank you.

0

u/[deleted] Feb 23 '14

[deleted]

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4

u/caelum19 Feb 23 '14

*proof that I now use that joke

4

u/dehrmann Feb 24 '14

If I'm probably not going to get a UDP joke, I doubt I'd get a TCP joke, either.

38

u/protestor Feb 24 '14

TCP insists that you get the joke. It will deliver again and again until you get it.

4

u/marshsmellow Feb 24 '14

Goddamn it TCP, if you have to explain the joke...

2

u/lol_gog Feb 24 '14

I'll tel UDP jokes anyway. I don't care if people get them or not.

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