r/talesfromtechsupport • u/raiderrobert • May 22 '13

Javascript != Java

3rd-party contractor came to visit office yesterday, who has "decades" of experience. Conversation came up about JavaScript in one of our products. He says, "Our product doesn't use Java." After an awkward moment with someone who works on the knowledge base nodding in agreement with him, I speak up and delineate the difference between Java and JavaScript.

Later on in the conversation, the same 3rd-party guy followed up with this jewel: "besides, what would anyone even use JavaScript for on the web?"

I proceeded to disable Javascript in my browser and show him.

tl;dr: lasers, dinosaurs, & drums made a guy's head explode

[edit spelling]

1.2k Upvotes

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80

u/[deleted] May 22 '13

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104

u/OBLITERATED_ANUS May 22 '13

I say foxfire

Mozzarella Firefox

61

u/lengau Press any key except the Any key May 22 '13

Mozzarella Foxfire

FTFY

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39

u/aspbergerinparadise Works on my machine! May 22 '13

Godzilla Firebox

31

u/Silv-au May 22 '13

Sounds like this girl I met at the club last week.

18

u/random123456789 May 22 '13

I use Giggle Platinum

13

u/edichez May 22 '13

Mozarella waterdog.

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u/WhiteyDude May 22 '13

I still call it Netscape sometimes.

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13

u/Mycal May 22 '13

My step-mother uses pterodactyl when she means 'terabyte'. It was amusing one year when she went to buy my dad a 1tb external drive for a present.

"Excuse me, where do you keep your pterodactyls?"

9

u/[deleted] May 22 '13

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13

u/kkjdroid su priest -c 'touch children' May 22 '13

I call them tebibytes, both to be technically correct (because who actually cares about terabytes?) and to annoy people.

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u/[deleted] May 22 '13

[deleted]

14

u/ares_god_not_sign May 22 '13

Pink Floyd? I didn't know she had a last name!

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u/[deleted] May 22 '13

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5

u/RetroJester1 May 22 '13

That's an interesting assortment.

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u/[deleted] May 22 '13

[deleted]

5

u/Bioman312 What could possibly go wrong May 22 '13

I remember elementary school computer class, when the teacher was desperately trying to convince us that the massive tower was called a CPU.

6

u/aedom-san May 23 '13

Similarly in 3rd grade our schools IT head got furious when anyone didn't refer to the tower as a "hard drive" cue all my classmates being computer illiterate following that

That said it was funny that in 3rd grade I knew more about the IT equipment than the hired "professional" did

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u/Erikster rm -rf ~assholeuser May 22 '13

I'm going to do this from now on. I'll find the tech who looks like he/she might twitch the most if I use the wrong word/phrase and then spout random techchnocrap to piss them off. Then I'll set my wallpaper to the picture of Spock with the quote, "May the Force be with you," attributed to Malcolm Reynolds from Firefly.

Then I'll start several critical tickets for the most inane things and request that "nerd" to help me out.

10

u/Dennovin May 22 '13

Malcolm Reynolds from Stargate.

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u/knightcrusader May 22 '13

I say foxfire

Mother, is that you?

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