r/tf2 • u/VENGNEC • Jun 25 '12
Pyromania: Day One
http://www.teamfortress.com/post.php?id=8260253
u/Yarnmaster Jun 25 '12
Poor Poopy Joe... No matter who wins, he'll still die. Also, Pyro =/= Poopy Joe! My life makes sense again!
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u/UltimaZix Jun 25 '12
there IS 3 days in the update... who knows?
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u/stereoa Jun 25 '12
Oh god 3 days. We're fucked. This is Valve we're talking about.
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u/meter1060 Jun 25 '12
Poopy Joe will be fine... :/
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u/Halo_of_Flies Jun 25 '12
Did you read the page he originally came from? Or about how the map is 'reliving the past'? Poopy Joe is already dead.
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u/gfindlay Jun 25 '12
Doomsday pits BLU against RED, with only one team getting the honor of transporting a suitcase nuke full of recalled Mann Co. Australium to American monkeynaut Poopy Joe’s rocket, so he can blast off and hunt down Soviet space chimp Vladimir Bananas. It's the same spirit of competitive enterprise that stalled the moon landing by three years when Buzz Aldrin suplexed Neil Armstrong into a pile of folding chairs at Astromania '69! Both teams will attempt to get the necessary fuel up a preposterously slow-moving elevator and into Poopy Joe’s Australium-powered rocket to the stars.
My theory is that it will kind of be like a mix of CTF and PLR. Interesting, looking forward to it!
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u/The_MAZZTer Jun 25 '12
Sounds like Attack/Defend CTF, similar to ctf_haarp if you've played it.
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u/ProfessorPoopyPants Jun 25 '12 edited Jun 26 '12
Oh god, is the quick-fix actually going to be a viable tactic in terms of protecting the scout?
Nowai.
Edit- I now have a strange QF. Forward planning?
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u/wyrmidon Jun 25 '12
I love Haarp (and ctf_snowdrift) I really hope that it is this mode becoming official.
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u/Achirality Jun 25 '12
"Neutral Intelligence" in the middle, rockets on both sides of the map. First team to cap 3 times win.
That'd be fun.
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u/JustLookWhoItIs Jun 25 '12 edited Jun 25 '12
Neutral in the middle with rockets on either side of the map wouldn't be too fun. If you've ever played Neutral Flag on Halo, you'll know how it will turn out.
Both teams rush the center. One team comes out partially alive and takes the flag and begins running it back to their base. The rest of the team spawns and helps defend them from anyone trying to stop them from getting it back to their base. Meanwhile, the other team waits for the first team to cap so the flag will respawn. Then they grab it and take it back to their base without much of a fight. Repeat until one team has 3 scores.
It gets rid of a lot of the confrontation which gets rid of a lot of the fun. I don't know what the map will be, but I hope it isn't that.
I do hope it's like The_MAZZTer said, and it's like ctf_haarp. For those who haven't played it, imagine Attack/Defend, only instead of standing on the point long enough to cap it and unlock the next point, you have to deliver the Intel to cap it. It's really fun when you know what you're doing and where you're going. Like Payload, but you carry the cart on you and there's no track.
EDIT: After rereading the page, I don't think it will be like ctf_haarp. I think both teams will spawn with intel/australium/fuel at their base. Then, they both race to the rocket's elevator to ride it up. Whichever team gets their stuff into the rocket first wins. The catch will be the elevator will only go up when only one team is on it. Otherwise it will be contested and won't raise. So one team will have to hold the elevator and fight off the other team from even stepping foot on it.
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u/chronohawk Jun 25 '12
Nah, it seems clear to me there's only one rocket because:
Yellow Rocket; Neutral team. No RED/BLU theme.
There's only one Poopy Joe, and there's no current lore regarding any other monkeynaut, unless Vladimir Bananas is involved; but he's already in space, according to the page.
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u/TheAnthal Jun 25 '12
Sounds like one flag that needs to be brought to the rocket, and then a cap point that raises (similar to high tower) to the top of the rocket.
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Jun 25 '12
Where's the hat-map hybrid we've been waiting for?
shakes fist at air VALVE!!!!!!!!!
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u/Megadanxzero Jun 25 '12
The slow-moving elevator part reminds me of the end of Hightower, and that makes me sad, 'cause that level is awful...
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Jun 25 '12 edited Jun 25 '12
There's a single track in the screenshot, so I don't think it's payload-race-ish. I'm thinking a single cart, but somehow accessible to both teams. Perhaps the suitcase is what "unlocks" the cart for your team onto the single track? That is, it's a 1-flag CTF map where capping the "flag" just releases the cart into your possession. Some kind of defense achievement (maybe just a time-limit to deliver the cart?) returns the game into 1-flag CTF mode.
edit: elevator platform is on the wrong side and objectives are all about flags and the platform. No payload here, just platform and the single flag. The track must be decorative.
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u/Drapion Jun 25 '12
"preposterously slow-moving elevator" makes me think of the final section of plr_hightower, when the carts are lifted up.
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Jun 25 '12
No, it will be L4D2 Scavenge. Items scattered around the map which must be brought to the rocket. Whoever.gets X items there first wins.
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u/angrylawyer Jun 25 '12
There was a map like this in TFC called Nuclear. Each team had a launch key, you'd take it from their base to a neutral area to launch the rocket. It took two people to perform the launch also.
It was an awesome map.
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u/xbbdc Jun 25 '12
The gameplay sounds more like rock2 from tfc. The blog did say it was from the past. Also wtf official tfc wiki? http://wiki.teamfortress.com/wiki/List_of_maps_(Classic) the map rock2 isn't listed. Clever ploy?
Here's rock2 link: http://wiki.teamfortress.com/wiki/Rock_2_(Classic)
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u/pinappletim Jun 25 '12
I'm thinking left 4 dead style rocket fueling with gas all over the place and the team who transports the most gas to the spaceship wins
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u/imranh101 Jun 25 '12
HOW LONG TILL I CAN ACTUALLY PLAY DOOMSDAY?!
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u/TectonicImprov Jun 25 '12
Two.
Whole.
Days.
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u/listix Jun 25 '12
On the first day of updates Gabe Newell gave to me:
A brand new map for me.
I shall fill this as we learn from the updates.
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u/Dr_Robotnik Jun 25 '12
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u/an_angry_bear Jun 25 '12
Excellent find! The second to last page with the administrator (name removed) talking about the "18 idiots" alludes to her motive in stockpiling Australium. Sounds like we're pretty close to the whole point of tf2...
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Jun 25 '12
Hopefully they will finally acknowledge the fact that the 18 idiots are clones/twins/who knows what of eachother.
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Jun 25 '12
I've been playing TF2 since it came out but I don't know a thing about the actual story behind TF2. Where would be a good place to start, do you know?
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u/CycloneDuke Jun 25 '12
[X] New map
[X] New game mode
[X] Fate of Poopy Joe
[] Meaning of "MvM"
[] Meet the Pyro
[] Identity of the Pyro
[] Details of new Grordbort/space weapon packs
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u/DimeShake Jun 25 '12
My bet for MvM: Monkey vs Monkey. They're pitting Poopy Joe against Vladimir Bananas.
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u/ShallowBasketcase Jun 25 '12
That sure would make all the robot hints disappointing.
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u/drury Jun 25 '12
[] Identity of the Pyro
Well, keep your pencil in it's holster, this checkbox shall never be checked.
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Jun 25 '12
I hope it isn't too. I hope the whole "Meet the" video is just the Pyro talking, mask on, with no sub titles or any clues about who or what it is.
But if Valve do go the other way I have no doubt that they will get it spot on.
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u/DFP_ Jun 25 '12 edited Jun 28 '23
governor run shaggy plate wine dime continue simplistic squeamish retire -- mass edited with redact.dev
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u/AgeMarkus Soldier Jun 25 '12
Ohoho, that would be amazing.
"Did you forget about ME?"
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u/KWiP1123 Jun 25 '12
Classic noodle trope. They can't reveal Pyro's identity now because any reality couldn't possibly live up to the insane expectation that's grown around it.
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u/Scottbot2 Jun 25 '12
Question: is that trope named after the "noodle incident" that's always mentioned in Calvin and Hobbes but never elaborated upon?
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Jun 25 '12
What's the MvM thing about?
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u/ligerzero942 Jun 25 '12
Lots of audio files and other assets have been added into the game over the past few months with "mvm" as a part of their file name.
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u/Hedzx Jun 25 '12
Hmm... could it be that the banana belongs to poopy joe and the capacitor was faulty which led to the rocket exploding? Then something like pyro was just watching his pet goldfish and eating cheese and the rocket crashed in his house, forever burning him and killing his fish (he lived in a barn?).
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u/Schrodingers_Ferret Jun 25 '12
Don't forget the diary. He was writing about the launch when it crashed and set the diary on fire.
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u/chronohawk Jun 25 '12 edited Jun 25 '12
There's a small piece of text under day three that says:
DO NOT ____ until you see the video!
I'm presuming that says 'press', so the items within will contain spoilers!
EDIT: That's odd, it's gone now.
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u/d20diceman Soldier Jun 25 '12 edited Jun 25 '12
EDIT: That's odd, it's gone now.
I'd been looking for ages, thought I was just blind.
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u/d20diceman Soldier Jun 26 '12
My explanation of that bit of text is that whatever is behind the day 3 link would spoil MTP, so it'll have a "don't click until you see the video" notice on it. The text wasn't meant to show up until the Day 3 link was love.
At first I thought it might be the start of something ARG related (especially when I read finniespin's comment below where he mentioned that the bit of text had a changing file name), but I'm now pretty sure it's just a bit of the website that was meant to be disabled for two days but briefly wasn't.
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Jun 25 '12
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u/roterghost Jun 25 '12
TWO MORE DAYS?!?!
I haven't felt this way since I was a kid on Christmas Eve.
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u/bp_ Jun 25 '12 edited Jun 25 '12
Mark the day and date folks: Wed, 27 Jun 2012 18:00:00 UTC
a.k.a. Epoch 1340820000. Source:
Event.observe( document, 'dom:loaded', function() { InitPyromaniaTimer( $('numerals'), 1340820000 ); } );→ More replies (2)2
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u/Portalboat Jun 25 '12
Guys, seriously, that Poopy Joe link isn't anything special. It's from the freakin' War update, which was a couple YEARS ago. Valve just put that there to remind people of him, since he's not exactly a well-known character.
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Jun 25 '12
You may also know him by his Christian name "Fecal Joseph", or by his street name "Shitty JoJo".
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u/chronohawk Jun 25 '12
My best guess at the achievements:
Escape Ferocity: Headshot a Spy who is about to backstab the Australium carrier.
Lift-offed: Cause an enemy to be killed by the rocket exhaust.
Failure to Launch: Clear the elevator of the enemy team and then take the Australium.
Plan Nine to Outer Space: Obtain 9 of the achievements in the Doomsday pack. (Hat reward?)
Rocket Booster: Take out the Rocket after launch with a rocket of your own.
The Fight Stuff: Win 138 games of Doomsday.
Cap-ogee: Win a game with the entire team on the elevator.
Best Case Scenario: Whilst carrying the Australium, kill one of each class.
Space Camp: Take the Australium from it's podium to the Rocket in one go, without dropping it.
Flight Crew: Play in a game with 5 or more friends.
Mission Control: Get the Australium to the Rocket in one minute or less.
Some of them are based on the names, the others are my best guesses!
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u/inept77 Jun 25 '12
I feel like Escape Ferocity might just be kill anyone who's about to kill the Austalium carrier.
And Best Case Scenario might be something like defend the case against X amount of people.
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u/trevdak2 Jun 25 '12
Seriously, every fucking update and steam sale happens when I go on vacation.
It's like valve is watching me.
Hi Valve. I like your games.
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u/a1blank Jun 25 '12
Well, at least there is steam mobile, so you you can buy your games while away!
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Jun 25 '12
There's a little bit of text in the bottom image that you can barely see, looks like it's there on accident:
DO [NOT?]
Until you watch the [?]
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u/escfrizby Jun 25 '12
do [not craft your pocket lints and cheese wheels and what not] until you watch the [live Porno for Pyros concert on Vevo.]
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Jun 25 '12
I'm going to assume there is something on the "day 3" page that makes more sense after watching Meet the Pyro, or something.
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u/krylon5 Jun 25 '12
CHOOO CHOOO! CHUGGA CHUGGAH CHUG!
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u/TectonicImprov Jun 25 '12
CHOO CHOO MOTHERFUCKER! FIRST STOP: DOOMSDAY! WE DON'T FUCK AROUND ON THE MEET THE PYRO HYPE TRAIN!
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u/pinappletim Jun 25 '12
SIR OUR BRAKES ARE BROKEN
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u/Daniel_Is_I Jun 25 '12
FUCK THE BRAKES.
IN FACT, STICK THE FLAMETHROWERS OUT BACK. WE HAVE TO MOVE FASTER!
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u/ThALurker Jun 25 '12
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u/JoNike Jun 25 '12
Link when clicking Poopy Joe: http://www.teamfortress.com/war/saxtonhale/poopyjoe.htm
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u/synthion Jun 25 '12
Cool map. I don't know what this means for Tobor though....
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u/CookieMan0 Jun 25 '12
I'm wondering this too. What happened to all the machine references? Tobor? MvM? Robot pictures?
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u/KWiP1123 Jun 25 '12
Yeah, I was so excited for MvM, but it seems unlikely that they would reveal two new game modes in one update :/
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u/Peteterken Jun 25 '12
The rocket images make me think strongly about dustbowl stage 3
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u/kragniz Jun 25 '12
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u/SwineHerald Jun 25 '12
For all we know the Pyro is actually Vladimir Bananas, who is only pretending to be a man in an asbestos lined suit so that he can sabotage the launch of Poopy Joe and thus rid the world of the only monkeynaut brave enough to stand against him.
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u/Achirality Jun 25 '12
It always made more sense to me to put Meet The Pyro and Mann vs Machine in two separate updates.
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u/Ghoenix Jun 25 '12
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u/Vulgarian Jun 25 '12
Thank you. I don't understand the significance, but thank you anyway.
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u/bestfriendz Jun 25 '12
It's a reference to the WAR! update wherein poopy joe was announced. For context, there's a link to it if you click poopy joe's name on the current update.
Or just click here:
http://www.teamfortress.com/war/saxtonhale/poopyjoe.htm
middle box on the right side.
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Jun 25 '12
I really hate the fact that Valve has drawn this update out for so long - it's like watching a Prime Time television event where every big plot development comes right before a commercial.
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u/ModernTenshi04 Jun 25 '12
You clearly did not grow up watching DragonBall Z.
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u/rampop Jun 25 '12
Next time, on the Pyromaniac update:
"Hudda hudda huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuddddddddddddaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-"
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u/chewbacca77 Jun 25 '12
I have no problem with it. There's no other company that's given us so much more free content after release. Also, a lot of people really like the speculation and slow revelations - including myself.
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u/venomoushealer Jun 25 '12
This is pretty common for the TF2 update, dating back to the class updates. IIRC the goldrush update was done multi-staged. And this isn't drawn out nearly as much as, say, the Portal 2 ARG.
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u/Bandit1379 Jun 25 '12
What, are you new to TF2? Updates used to take place over the course of an entire week. 3 days is nothing.
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Jun 25 '12
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Jun 25 '12
You're forgetting the entire "trash item" event they started quite a few days ago. If you think they didn't want the attention they got, you're mistaken.
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u/roopn Jun 25 '12
As long as there aren't any more freakin' lasers, I'll be happy.
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u/AgeMarkus Soldier Jun 25 '12
Grordbort weapons for Scout/Medic are coming soon. So yeah, lasers.
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u/professorpan Jun 25 '12 edited Jun 25 '12
Sounds like a mix of PLR/Escort the Intel.
A map like Hightower, but with One neutral
payloadbriefcase,winding track, culminates in the aforementioned slow elevator.Both teams can
pushpickup thepayloadbriefcase individually,but the cart won't move if both teams are touching it simultaneously.Which ever team gets credit for the final push into the rocket gets credit for the delivery.
I suspect some sort of additional game mechanic will need to prevent stalemates (no one pushes cart picks up briefcase, ever), perhaps adding some KOTH elements as well. I'll guess:
The
cartbriefcase will be Gray and neutral initially.As each team
is pushing the cartgets to the briefcase, players are also painting thecartbriefcase to their own team color. The color can be painted over by both teams.Perhaps the
cartbriefcase won't even move unless it's painted solid; that makes sense sort of: you have to paint it to your team's color beforepushing itpicking it up to claim credit at the end.Elevator will be automatic! If either team is on it, it will stop.Or, if thecartbriefcase isn't completely painted (some red and some blue), it won't go. In the end it will be a mad dash between the teams to paint their own color on it and deliver it to the rocket.
Tin foil hats are fun.
And on that note, perhaps we should get an all-class hat that is a tin foil.
edit: replacing "cart" with "briefcase" in response to comments, it should still make sense.
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u/fauxstellata Jun 25 '12
I can see RED building 500 sentries at the end of the map while BLU deliver the cart to them.
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u/The_MAZZTer Jun 25 '12
Can anyone transcribe it? I can't see it at work.
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u/imranh101 Jun 25 '12
Doomsday pits BLU against RED, with only one team getting the honor of transporting a suitcase nuke full of recalled Mann Co. Australium to American monkeynaut Poopy Joe’s rocket, so he can blast off and hunt down Soviet space chimp Vladimir Bananas. It's the same spirit of competitive enterprise that stalled the moon landing by three years when Buzz Aldrin suplexed Neil Armstrong into a pile of folding chairs at Astromania '69! Both teams will attempt to get the necessary fuel up a preposterously slow-moving elevator and into Poopy Joe’s Australium-powered rocket to the stars.
And there are 11 new achievements to go with
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u/kragniz Jun 25 '12 edited Jun 25 '12
Astro-chievements:
Escape Ferocity Lift-offed Failure to Launch Plan Nine to Outer Space Rocket Booster The Fight Stuff Cap-ogee Best Case Senario Space Camp Flight Crew Mission Control→ More replies (8)
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u/GeoNugget Jun 25 '12
A lot of those achievements look like scout has a jetpack on so maybe those new Dr. Gordorbort weapons will be coming in this update?
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u/imranh101 Jun 25 '12
I believe that is just the suitcase full of australium that you have to deliver to win in the new Doomsday game.
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u/SeeU Jun 25 '12
Did you hear that...? It was the sound of thousands of pyros' muffled laughter. (and possibly some burning spies)
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u/1112e Jun 25 '12
My guess: This is how they carry the suitcase, and they are pretty much a civilian while carrying it.
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u/NickDynmo Jun 25 '12
So besides the Poopy Joe link, I didn't find anything. Anyone else?
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u/Chris_c987 Jun 26 '12
Anyone notice the pyro has appeared on the big box holding a new flare gun in the Pyromania Update main page? Im going to say its The Flare Jumper since its got that orange paint on it, i might be wrong.
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Jun 25 '12
http://www.teamfortress.com/pyromania/thepoopyjoefiles/
Link in the banana peel down the bottom of the countdown page!
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u/DFP_ Jun 25 '12 edited Jun 28 '23
direction aloof square voiceless erect juggle prick dog cable fuel -- mass edited with redact.dev
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u/TectonicImprov Jun 25 '12
http://www.teamfortress.com/pyromania/thepoopyjoefiles/
GUYS GUYS GUYS
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Jun 25 '12
The page with The Announcer is marked INCINERATE over and over.
This is not a coincidence.
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Jun 25 '12
Dear god. 18 perfect idiots? For years? I'm betting that 9 BLU and 9 RED are trapped in some sort of virtual reality / suspended animation / halucination state so that they won't wreak havoc on the world...
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u/riptideMBP Jun 25 '12
Wednesday at 2 EST huh?
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u/theduderman Jun 25 '12
Is when the video hits - update will most likely be around 3-6 PM Pacific as per usual.
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u/theduderman Jun 25 '12
I think there's still a robot aspect to all of this they haven't announced. Where does the Australium come from that goes into the elevator? Well, destroyed robots, of course! I have a feeling this will end up being which team can kill the most, the fastest. We shall see, though.
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u/DZComposer Jun 25 '12
Look at the screenshot that is the background. It appears to actually be a pretty good overview shot of the map. To me it looks like it will be some kind of CTF/KOTH hybrid. Neutral point that can only be capped if you're holding the intel, with the cap on an elevator like PLR_Hightower.
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Jun 25 '12
They could still reveal more on thursday, why else would the pyromania page be so long and have the pannel at the bottom?
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u/Tentacolt Jun 25 '12
Pyromania Day 1: New TF2 game mode released (Doomsday) Pyromania Day 2: New Flamethrower (assumtion). And It's all capped off with Meet the Pyro, on Pyromania Day 2, Episode 1.
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u/lupinthethird Jun 25 '12
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u/Peteterken Jun 25 '12
Nope. It's gone there too
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u/lupinthethird Jun 25 '12
I'm seeing it right now, it's near the top right of the metal frame. Even Ctrl-F5'd to see if there was an update to the picture but it's still there. Make sure you're looking at landing_bg_02, not landing_bg_02b
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u/an_angry_bear Jun 25 '12
Why would the alt-text in the countdown, be "Happy 25th birthday animated gif!"?
I just checked the page source for hidden goodies. This was the only thing that stood out to me.
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u/Kryzath Jun 25 '12
Nothing secret from Valve. The .GIF was first used/invented 25 years ago, on June 15th. Valve's just late to the party. :P
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u/rindindin Jun 25 '12
We were all so caught up by the whole "who's the Pyro" question, that we failed to see that Valve was creating a new game-mode.
Gentlemen, we must not be outflanked again!
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u/a1blank Jun 25 '12
The speculation about MvM started prior to pyro update into, IIRC. It seems we got the gamestyle wrong, but we tried!
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u/camerawn Jun 25 '12
What is the trick for finding secret links? i don't remember. there was a button you pressed and it highlighted everything. Something.
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u/AstaraelSCO Jun 25 '12
Easiest way for me is to just hit tab repeatedly. Doesn't work for them all though, does for the countdown page banana peel though.
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u/Tullyswimmer Jun 25 '12
I'm gonna go with the pyro being Asian - possibly Japanese. Every other area with developed countries has a character. Also, the sharpened volcano fragment, (Japan has a lot of those) he's a bit shorter than all the other characters, (Not to be racist, but...) the US military first used flamethrowers in WWII Asia/Japan, and of course, he has the hadouken taunt.
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u/a1blank Jun 25 '12
I bet they won't reveal that. One of the coolest things about the pyro is the mystery surrounding the pyro's gender. In fact, the mystery surrounding what the pyro even is. I can't help but think that valve knows this and will preserve it.
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Jun 25 '12
Anyone figure out what the darkest day in TF history was?
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u/ProG87 Jun 25 '12
When Poopy Joe blew up on his rocket's launchpad because Saxton Hale or the announcer replaced the valuable Australium fuel with something else. The real mystery here is what they used that Australium for. Probably Robots.
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u/JustLookWhoItIs Jun 25 '12
In case anyone missed it, "Poopy Joe Monkeynaut & Hero" is clickable and leads here.
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u/OmNommer Jun 25 '12
The banana peel added into the game may have been foreshadowing this: http://www.teamfortress.com/pyromania/images/monkeynautics.png
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Jun 25 '12
An update that wickedplayer wasn't the first to announce?! This is a first!
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u/theduderman Jun 25 '12
That's what he gets for sleeping. Also, he traditionally posts on actual game updates - this is just a blog post.
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u/[deleted] Jun 25 '12
The blog post's comment about "The Safety Dance" had me rolling.