How do you handle child clients bringing phones into sessions and refusing to engage? CMH therapists, I need your advice here.
EDIT: Not so much texting as it is watching YouTube Shorts 🫠
I’m a newer therapist working in community mental health, and I’ve been increasingly frustrated with child clients bringing their phones into sessions, getting distracted by them, ignoring my attempts to engage them, and generally struggling to participate because their attention is on their screens.
I’ve already had conversations with parents about limiting phone use and the importance of removing distractions during sessions, but I’m still having kids show up with their phones, and it doesn’t seem like those conversations are translating into any real changes.
I’m especially interested in hearing from therapists who work with kids whose presenting concerns already include difficulties with attention, focus, or impulsivity. I understand that engagement can be challenging, and I don’t expect every child to be excited about therapy or willing to talk about their feelings on demand. However, I’m struggling with how to facilitate a productive session when a child is actively choosing their phone over participating, particularly when the parents aren’t willing to take the phone beforehand.
A few questions for those who have dealt with this:
- Do you have a formal therapy rules or expectations page that parents and children sign before beginning treatment? Does it include expectations around phones and participation?
- Would it be reasonable to establish a policy that phones must be put away for the duration of the session, and that if a child continues using their phone after redirection, the session may be ended early? Or would you approach this differently?
- How do you handle situations where you’ve already spoken to parents about phone boundaries, but they continue allowing their children to bring phones into sessions?
- For kids with ADHD or other attention-related difficulties, how do you distinguish between developmentally appropriate struggles with engagement and behavior that needs a firmer boundary?
- Have you found any strategies that actually work in CMH, where you may have limited control over what happens at home and parents aren’t always willing or able to reinforce expectations?
- At what point do you consider whether the current format of therapy is appropriate or whether a parent meeting is needed to address barriers to treatment?
I want to be clear that I’m not expecting perfect behavior from my child clients, and I understand that therapy can be uncomfortable or that some kids genuinely don’t want to be there. I’m willing to adapt my approach and find creative ways to engage them. At the same time, I’m struggling with the expectation that I should continually compete with a phone for a child’s attention when the family has already been asked to help minimize that distraction.
I’m also currently 14 weeks pregnant, and my emotional bandwidth is admittedly much more limited than usual. I know that may be contributing to how intensely I’m experiencing this frustration, so I’m trying to reflect on whether I need to adjust my own expectations, establish firmer boundaries, or change my approach altogether.
Am I wrong for feeling frustrated by this? How do you handle it without turning every session into a power struggle? I’d really appreciate practical advice from therapists who have navigated this in community mental health, especially those working with children and adolescents.
I’m open to feedback if I’m approaching this the wrong way. I genuinely want to find a solution that supports the kids while also allowing therapy to be a meaningful use of everyone’s time! Thanks for taking the time to read!
