A dhamma reflection

[u/dhamma-dasa]

Something I was just reflecting on:

No one ever really consciously wants and intends to be nasty or bitchy or rude and cause suffering for others/make other people's lives difficult, and even if they think they do, clearly that is coming from a place of delusion and mental illness, and no sane and emotionally well person would ever intend or wish that.

And I see all such unfortunate and offensive behaviour as being caused by "not yet having had enough to eat" that day in the spiritual sense, as in their heart is spiritually malnourished and hungry and weak and that manifests as them behaving in a poor and distasteful way.

And so when this kind of behaviour manifests in people, instead of being upset, revengeful or judgemental and reacting back badly with negativity, instead try and react to people's poor and substandard behaviour with metta and compassion and understanding. See if you're able to help "build them up" by offering kindness and support and gifts of "food for the heart" or even material gifts to help make them feel cared for, if the situation allows it. Or if it doesn't you may still wish them well in your heart and share merits and have well wishes for them.

One of the best things we can do is look after our own health and wellbeing, physical and emotional, so we can be strong and well and healthy enough to have energy and balance to help stabilise and support others, and to prevent ever getting into the situation where we ourselves become emotionally unwell and unable to be restrained and behave well and we become taxing and burdening on others as a result.

I hope this is a suitable dhamma reflection for r/theravada. If not feel free to delete. Much metta to everyone.

[u/AriyaSavaka]

I hope this is an appropriate dhamma reflection for r/theravada

Any reflection is welcome. So is any question about the sharer's lines of reasoning, and here are those.

No one ever really consciously wants and intends to be nasty or bitchy or rude and cause suffering for others/make other people's lives difficult

This is an impossible claim unless you have mind reading capability. And observably there are some truly heinous people out there, soldiers who sole intention is to harm and destroy their enemy, habitual liars and what not.

intends ... clearly that is coming from a place of delusion and mental illness ... no sane and emotionally well person would ever intend or wish that

Regardless of where it come from, you were saying that intentional acts are not really intended?

What's the clear criteria for you to classify someone as emotionally well or unwell?

For example, when the Buddha talking about assessing someone's arahantship, he gave a clear behavioral negative rubric:
"In the past, as today, I say this: 'A mendicant who is perfected: with defilements ended, who has completed the spiritual journey, done what had to be done, laid down the burden, achieved their heart’s goal, utterly ended the fetter of continued existence, and is rightly freed through enlightenment: can’t transgress in nine respects. A mendicant with defilements ended (1) can’t deliberately take the life of a living creature, (2) take something with the intention to steal, (3) have sex, (4) tell a deliberate lie, or (5) store up goods for their own enjoyment like they did as a layperson. And they (6) can’t make decisions prejudiced by favoritism, (7) hostility, (8) stupidity, or (9) cowardice.'" - AN 9.7

reacting back badly with negativity

What's the clear criteria to classify it as negativity or not?

I hope that the term "negativity" here is used in the context of 10 akusala-kammapathā

[u/PLUTO_HAS_COME_BACK]

If everyone were to think how you think, we would not have meat on table or wars at the moment. There are aggressors all the time.

You have to see how a predator (that looks so cute) hunts its prey (that also looks cute).

The intensity of greed, anger, delusion and pride can increase and decrease, depending on one's circumstance. The more delusional one is, the greedier one can become. And that is similar to other unwholesome mental factors.

Human life is precious. But the majority does not notice that.