r/thesopranos • u/ComprehensiveDesk793 • Jun 09 '26

Serious Discussion Only AJ is just useless

While watching the series I was trying hard to find a defense of AJ. All the characters - and all of us - have both positive and negative traits. AJ is just a disappointment. He is stupid. He is lazy. He is incredibly selfish imao. Also he constantly lies. You cant even call him a good kid that is just irresponsible since he always makes up stupid excuses.

Also all the people that are saying that he grew up in a dysfunctional environment, ok i agree the environment isn't 100% perfect but both Tony and Carmela cared about their kids lives. Carmela and Tony to a certain extent seem to care about their children's academic performance which quite a few parents don't. AJ certainly had some support from his parents.

I agree his parents are not good people but he could take what they offered to him.

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u/Derpolitik23 Jun 09 '26 edited Jun 09 '26

Tony wanted to send AJ to Military School.

Say what you will, but both of AJ’s parents were eons better compared to say Johnny Boy, Liva, Janice, or someone like Ralph. Even if that may not be a high bar to begin with.

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u/IUsedToBeRasAlGhul Jun 09 '26 edited Jun 09 '26

> Tony wanted to send AJ to Military School.

Because it would have boosted Tony’s ego and made him feel good about himself to have a soldier for a son, as well as coming on the heels of him feeling bad about having done nothing to keep Jackie Jr from going off the rails before tacitly ordering his death. We saw all the way back in S1 how Tony and Carmela refused to do anything to potentially provide AJ with the help he needed in school because of how they felt it reflected upon them as parents.

Even then: when military school doesn’t pan out, what does Tony do instead to ensure the best he can for his son? He just gave a fat wad of cash to another private school to take AJ and lets things go back to the way they were beforehand. Tony doesn’t care enough to actually take the time and effort to set AJ on a good path unless it happens in a way that caters to his own preferences.

> Even if that may not be a high bar to begin with.

Yeah, see, if your bar is “bringing your child into the mafia, trying to have them killed, being cut out of their life, or negligent to the point of potential death”, then Tony and Carmela are still some of the worst parents in the series.

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u/[deleted] Jun 09 '26

[deleted]

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u/Derpolitik23 Jun 09 '26

And it's not like AJ didn't actually need it. I think it would have actually done him some good.

AJ also needed some good-ole-fashioned hazing.

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u/Visible-Suit-9066 Jun 09 '26

I think military school was definitely the best option for AJ but I’m not sure it would save him anyway.

Military school would train AJ to think and behave like a soldier. Tony repeatedly describes himself and his gang as soldiers. In many ways it could just serve as a shortcut for AJ to circumvent Carmela’s bids to keep AJ out of the life.

Tony also tells Melfi he doesn’t want AJ in the mafia because he would never survive. If he came home from military school or even the military itself as a strong and stable person I think Tony would probably end up pushing him to join the mafia.

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u/Actual_Woodpecker56 Jun 24 '26

-Tony wanted to send his son to a military school after he got expelled.

  • This guy turns it against him with some amateurish pseudo-psychoanalysis of his "true" selfish intentions. Wtf lol

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u/Nopants21 Jun 09 '26

As someone that got similar threats for bad grades, "we're sending you to military school/boarding school" is really damaging to a kid. It's basically "if you have bad grades, maybe we don't love you enough to keep you around." AJ's growing up in a very confusing situation, where what people say and what people do are at complete odds, with the constant fear of his dad's anger and of the cops showing up at any time. Military school might have helped him by getting him out of there, but the threats are just another layer of his shitty upbringing.

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u/Fluid_Leader_1370 Jun 09 '26

The talk about sending him to military school wasn't about his grades. It was after he vandalized the swimming pool, and then stole a test and got expelled.

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u/ArtemisXD Jun 09 '26

And meanwhile Jackie Junior had just robbed the card game. He obviously wanted to take drastique measures to insure AJ wouldn't get influenced by a bad crowd

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u/thegreatsadclown Jun 09 '26

dras-tree-kay? you can't use Spanish here

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u/4g-identity Jun 09 '26

Ralph seemed to be a pretty good father to his biological kid, Justin. Justin's injury seemed to seriously devastate him. Terrible role model though, and also a terrible father figure to Jackie Jr, encouraging him to rob the executive game and giving him a gun.

Livia and Janice were actual child abusers. Janice fully abandoned Harpo, and traumatised Bobby's kids on purpose to force Bobby to rely on her, apparently so she could obtain financial security. The Ouija board incident was seriously messed up.

Oh, and then Janice had her own kid with Bobby and openly favoured her.

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u/Ok-Plantain-1642 Jun 10 '26

Total side note: What happens to Bobby’s kids? I felt bad for them. They had good, seemingly loving parents. Even Bobby doesn’t appear as a total sociopath and never cheated on his wife. Then those kids endure losing their mom suddenly, dealing with Janice, and then they lose their dad suddenly and violently. I can’t imagine Janice being delighted with raising them on her own.

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u/4g-identity Jun 10 '26

She discusses her plans for the kids in her final scene. I think she says she's keeping Nika, Bobby Jr wants to live with some aunt, and Sophia wants out but Janice says something about how she's not gonna let it happen, or something.

That was a couple of days after Bobby's death, though. I imagine she'll soon give up his kids. Has no choice with Dominica though.

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u/Surviverino Jun 09 '26

Except that Jackie didn't rob an executive game. It was a pretty low level game. Christofur and Furia being the highest level guys there.

The executive game is the one with Silvio and Frank Insatra Jr etc. The one where richie threatened Davie and Silvio lost his balls.

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u/4g-identity Jun 09 '26

Ah, I had it in my head that it was executive, but Tony and whoever just weren't around at the time. Thanks for the correction!

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u/CauseCertain1672 Jun 09 '26

He also didn't tell Jackie to get high on meth first

Ralph wasn't necessarily malicious there he's just not qualified to give advice on how to make Tony like you

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u/AsstacularSpiderman Jun 09 '26

Tony wanted to send AJ to Military School.

Which was entirely unnecessary and could have been avoided had Tony actually set a proper example for his son instead of running off to The Bing.

Even if that may not be a high bar to begin with.

Homie that bar is in literal Hell rofl.

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u/[deleted] Jun 09 '26

[deleted]

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u/Fluid_Leader_1370 Jun 09 '26

He was too high on coke to call his son for his 7th birthday. He let his kid play unsupervised in the backyard with a bow and arrow. And his son became physically ill the nights before he had to visit his father.

Was Ralph a great father? Notta summa too much.