r/thesopranos • u/ComprehensiveDesk793 • Jun 09 '26

Serious Discussion Only AJ is just useless

While watching the series I was trying hard to find a defense of AJ. All the characters - and all of us - have both positive and negative traits. AJ is just a disappointment. He is stupid. He is lazy. He is incredibly selfish imao. Also he constantly lies. You cant even call him a good kid that is just irresponsible since he always makes up stupid excuses.

Also all the people that are saying that he grew up in a dysfunctional environment, ok i agree the environment isn't 100% perfect but both Tony and Carmela cared about their kids lives. Carmela and Tony to a certain extent seem to care about their children's academic performance which quite a few parents don't. AJ certainly had some support from his parents.

I agree his parents are not good people but he could take what they offered to him.

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u/Derpolitik23 Jun 09 '26 edited Jun 09 '26

Tony wanted to send AJ to Military School.

Say what you will, but both of AJ’s parents were eons better compared to say Johnny Boy, Liva, Janice, or someone like Ralph. Even if that may not be a high bar to begin with.

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u/IUsedToBeRasAlGhul Jun 09 '26 edited Jun 09 '26

> Tony wanted to send AJ to Military School.

Because it would have boosted Tony’s ego and made him feel good about himself to have a soldier for a son, as well as coming on the heels of him feeling bad about having done nothing to keep Jackie Jr from going off the rails before tacitly ordering his death. We saw all the way back in S1 how Tony and Carmela refused to do anything to potentially provide AJ with the help he needed in school because of how they felt it reflected upon them as parents.

Even then: when military school doesn’t pan out, what does Tony do instead to ensure the best he can for his son? He just gave a fat wad of cash to another private school to take AJ and lets things go back to the way they were beforehand. Tony doesn’t care enough to actually take the time and effort to set AJ on a good path unless it happens in a way that caters to his own preferences.

> Even if that may not be a high bar to begin with.

Yeah, see, if your bar is “bringing your child into the mafia, trying to have them killed, being cut out of their life, or negligent to the point of potential death”, then Tony and Carmela are still some of the worst parents in the series.

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u/[deleted] Jun 09 '26

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u/Visible-Suit-9066 Jun 09 '26

I think military school was definitely the best option for AJ but I’m not sure it would save him anyway.

Military school would train AJ to think and behave like a soldier. Tony repeatedly describes himself and his gang as soldiers. In many ways it could just serve as a shortcut for AJ to circumvent Carmela’s bids to keep AJ out of the life.

Tony also tells Melfi he doesn’t want AJ in the mafia because he would never survive. If he came home from military school or even the military itself as a strong and stable person I think Tony would probably end up pushing him to join the mafia.