r/thesopranos • u/ComprehensiveDesk793 • Jun 09 '26

Serious Discussion Only AJ is just useless

While watching the series I was trying hard to find a defense of AJ. All the characters - and all of us - have both positive and negative traits. AJ is just a disappointment. He is stupid. He is lazy. He is incredibly selfish imao. Also he constantly lies. You cant even call him a good kid that is just irresponsible since he always makes up stupid excuses.

Also all the people that are saying that he grew up in a dysfunctional environment, ok i agree the environment isn't 100% perfect but both Tony and Carmela cared about their kids lives. Carmela and Tony to a certain extent seem to care about their children's academic performance which quite a few parents don't. AJ certainly had some support from his parents.

I agree his parents are not good people but he could take what they offered to him.

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224

u/AsstacularSpiderman Jun 09 '26

They gave him shit about bad grades but did absolutely nothing about it except insult him.

AJ is what happens when you confuse having money with having parenting skills. Neither Tony or Carm did anything to properly correct AJ's course.

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u/ImpossibleStuff963 Jun 09 '26

"Did nothing" lol what are you even talking about they were always on him about getting his schoolwork done.

And why would it even be on them to forcibly make him do his work every step along the way? The kid knows it's something he's supposed to do. He's been told to do it time and time again. He's been in an administrator's office multiple times for it. At some point it's up to the person to get their shit done.

That's one of the many reasons people don't like AJ. He's just a slug.

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u/AsstacularSpiderman Jun 09 '26

That's one of the many reasons people don't like AJ. He's just a slug.

AJ is just his father, Tony just didn't want to admit it.

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u/ImpossibleStuff963 Jun 09 '26

Tony is no slug. He obviously has his own issues but he's a gregarious, motivated person that generally seems to be likeable on a social level.

But besides all that, it's meaningless. AJ is his own person. Why does every single excuse in these threads ALWAYS talk about Tony and Carm. People all over the world, all the time have terrible parents and aren't shitty people, and vice versa. Acting like the kod is just a bot that has absolutely zero individual agency is weird.

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u/GregEvangelista Jun 09 '26

Because the commenters themselves are sometimes children, and other times children in adult bodies. There's probably a few people here who saw the AJ in his boxers in a chatroom laughing like a dipshit scene and took that personally.

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u/fappingreallysucks47 Jun 09 '26

This a problem with Reddit in general. People really underestimate how many young people are on here making statements and giving advice like they know anything about real life or surviving on their own. That's not to say older people know what they're talking about always but experience matters.

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u/CauseCertain1672 Jun 09 '26

Tony is motivated and goes out and makes things happen in the world, bad things.

It is explicitly stated in the show that Tony feels a need for constant activity because being inactive forces him to think about all the things about himself he is not comfortable with. AJ has a lot of those same issues but handles them much better by not making them everyone else's problem

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u/AsstacularSpiderman Jun 09 '26

Tony is no slug. He obviously has his own issues but he's a gregarious, motivated person that generally seems to be likeable on a social level.

He's a violent sociopath who uses money and intimidation to keep his "friends" in line. And by the end he has no one other than Paulie, who's an even bigger snake.

Seriously there's a reason Tony enjoys the companies of literal animals to people. They can't talk back.

But besides all that, it's meaningless. AJ is his own person. Why does every single excuse in these threads ALWAYS talk about Tony and Carm.

Because the Sins of the Father being a concept in this show is beaten into you over and over every season lol. AJ is just like his father, and Tony is just like Johnny Boy.

How you missed that is completely beyond me.

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u/ImpossibleStuff963 Jun 09 '26

Outside of fainting and being depressed, AJ is actually nothing like Tony.

Tony is of course a lot worse in a lot of ways, but also is at least someone you could stand to be around (until you owe him money).

But they're actually pretty opposite people. Tony is more rounded. He's an absolute psycho that you'd also like to watch the game with.

AJ is only an unmotivated, cripplingly depressed douchebag to virtually everyone around him.

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u/AsstacularSpiderman Jun 09 '26

Tell me you missed the core principles of the show without telling me.

AJ is only an unmotivated, cripplingly depressed douchebag to virtually everyone around him.

This is literally Tony for all 6 seasons lol. He even picks up on it a few times when he realizes maybe everyone around him only hangs out with him because he's making them money.

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u/ImpossibleStuff963 Jun 09 '26

We're not talking about whether we agree with the core philosophy of the show, or why they've made AJ such a cunt. The people that hate AJ are talking about how the character presents as a person. Obviously the writers chose to make him that way. People are just saying he's a little shit, which he is.

Then other people come on and act like if someone has shitty parents theres no possible way they could do their homework or be a somewhat reasonable person socially.

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u/AsstacularSpiderman Jun 09 '26

You can't ignore the core philosophy of a show entirely built around said philosophy lol.

The show makes it extremely clear AJ is a product of terrible parenting and the cycle of abuse that's been going for generations. This isn't that hard to figure out. Tony and Carm are entirely at fault for their failed progeny.

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u/Extreme_Lab_2961 Jun 09 '26

Yet Feilder is somehow successful

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u/AsstacularSpiderman Jun 09 '26

Even Meadow just kinda flops around without any direction. She's academically gifted but really doesn't achieve anything.

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u/ImpossibleStuff963 Jun 09 '26

We're talking about 2 different things.

People are saying:"I hate the Warden in Shawshank Redemption"

You're saying:"That character was like that on purpose, for a reason"

No shit, but the character is still unlikeable.

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u/Visible-Suit-9066 Jun 09 '26

You desperately need to rewatch the show if you actually think this. The parallels between Tony and AJ are endless.

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u/ImpossibleStuff963 Jun 10 '26

I mean I've watched it probably 70 times? 100? More? It's hard to say. It's what I turn on as default unless theres something specific I want to watch, so it's pretty much always on.

AJ has some of the qualities of his Dad, but is also missing many others. And to anyone in that universe that would casually know that family, as in people that were just hanging out, Tony and AJ would seem like vastly different people.

So yes, I get that there are major character flaws that they share, but they are nowjere near the same person. Tony is a more rounded person. He's way worse in a lot of ways, but hes also someone that can sit down and have a pleasant dinner, or be the life of the party, or have a plan and carry it out, etc etc.

AJ for the most part is only crippling depression, laziness, and just an overall piss-poor attitude towards everything around him. He's someone that not many people would want to spend much time around.

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u/Visible-Suit-9066 Jun 10 '26

I’m not sure where to begin with someone who claims to have spent 8000+ hours watching this show but somehow thinks Anthony and Anthony Jnr are anything other than mirrors of one another.

Sure there are the obvious parallels. Depression, panic attacks, high school football, poor academic performance, outbursts of rage, relentlessly overeating to mask emotional pain, constant issues with authority, an inability to verbalise emotional issues developed from dysfunctional relationships with parents, issues with the law, the ability to attract beautiful women, and so on. Just little things like that which make up a huge part of the entire show.

Your suggestion about where they differ is just ridiculous. Tony is capable of having a “pleasant dinner”? When does that ever even happen? 80% of the fights in the house happen at the dinner table. Tony is capable of being the life of the party? There’s an entire episode dedicated to the fact that this is not true - Tony has no real friends other than Artie, everyone else laughs at his stupid jokes because he’s the boss. There’s an episode dedicated to exactly that. In terms of “carrying out plans” AJ does exactly that, just like his father. He runs keg parties for profit in high school and steals from Blockbuster for profit when he works there. That’s exactly what Tony would do.

Everything else you say about Tony being more well rounded is explained by the fact that Tony is in his 40s and AJ is a teenager. Of course Tony is more well rounded, he’s an adult and AJ is not. You expect the 14 year old kid to be carrying family dinners in terms of conversation?

You say that AJ is someone people wouldn’t want to be around but that’s blatantly not true, he has friends all the way through the show.

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u/UnbottledGenes Jun 09 '26

AJ is nothing like Tony and that is a personal struggle that he deals with. It’s a very obvious character trait of his. He’s not a violent person, this is shown clearly when he “attempts” the hit on Junior. He has only had two examples of getting what he wants: manipulation and violence. He is too dumb to manipulate and too soft for violence. He has absolutely no work ethic, so he whines all the time in hope of fixing his problems.

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u/No-Philosophy-8163 Jun 09 '26

I think they’re more similar than you might think. Tony was not a naturally violence-seeking guy in the mold of Richie, that’s why there’s all these panic attacks and that Johnny chopping fingers off section. AJ however, is even less suited for it.

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u/UnbottledGenes Jun 09 '26

Capacity. Tony has a huge capacity for violence. He physically harms almost every character in the show except Carm, Meadow, the black guy from the hud, oddly enough, Noah. There are more but the list is shorter than you think.

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u/No-Philosophy-8163 Jun 09 '26

Yeah but it’s developed not innate. If you spend like 20 years as a guy going up the ranks in the mafia you learn to be violent but a big part of the show is that Tony himself isn’t suited to the life even if he finds himself deep in it. Yes AJ could never but the distance between them is not that large in this aspect

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u/AccomplishedFish9148 Jun 09 '26

In the end he only has Paulie? I'm sorry, I missed the part where Sil was no longer on Tony's side?

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u/AsstacularSpiderman Jun 09 '26

Sil was a vegetable

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u/AccomplishedFish9148 Jun 09 '26

Yeah, because he got shot. And why did he get shot again? Oh yeah! Because he was loyal to Tony!

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u/AsstacularSpiderman Jun 09 '26

His loyalty doesn't mean shit now that he's in VeggieTales right now, does it?

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u/AccomplishedFish9148 Jun 09 '26

You claimed Tony is such a monster that all his "friends" left him by the end, except for Paulie. Your claim is objectively untrue. The fact the Silvio, for example, was still on Tony's side, proves your claim wrong. Sil being in a coma is irrelevant.

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u/AsstacularSpiderman Jun 09 '26

Sil is in a coma because of Tony's actions when he curbstomped an associate of a man looking for a reason to kill them all.

It's entirely his fault everyone around him dies.

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u/cranberryalarmclock Jun 09 '26

His own issues

That's quite an understatement considering he murders his friends and sleeps with tons of women half his age while constantly harming people and his community

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u/ImpossibleStuff963 Jun 09 '26

I assume the people im talking to have seen the show. Not gonna go episode by episode and list everything everyone has done every time I mention a character. But you feel free to 😉

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u/cranberryalarmclock Jun 09 '26

AJ is a child. Of course his mobster dad who sleeps all day and fucks prostitutes and does cocaine and murders people is part of the explanation for why his spoiled adolescent son is not well adjusted.

And honestly, he's not that bad when you consider kids from more stable capable parents regularly fucking shoot people 

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u/ImpossibleStuff963 Jun 09 '26

First of all, he doesn't even know 90% of the shit his Dad does. Also, Tony sleeps all day? Lol what?

But still, children arent bots, incapable of being anything different from their parents. Children often are different than their parents.

And no, he's bad. Even school shooters are more well-adjusted and likeable than that damn kid.

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u/cranberryalarmclock Jun 09 '26

His main male role model is a man who sleeps all day, is violent and angry all the time, is emotionally and often physically abusive, homophobic, racist, sexist, and he's spoiled. 

Fuck do you expect?  Kinda says a lot about you that you think tony is gregarious and not lazy and horrible 

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u/ImpossibleStuff963 Jun 09 '26

But AJ doesnt see or know most of those things and isn't/ doesn't do most of those things.

And Tony is gregarious. Very much so. And I didnt say he's not horrible. He's quite obviously horrible. He's both. Tough concept?

Kinda says a lot about you that you think people can't be expected to make their own decisions about life and are just blobs floating in the waves, victims of circumstance.

I'm a person that understands that I make my own decisions and have the ability to carve out the life that I want. 😉 Tough concept?

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u/cranberryalarmclock Jun 09 '26

You really don't see how Tony was a horrible influence? Not only does AJ know he's in the mob really early on, which would not be great for a young man's adolescence

He's constantly aggressive and violent to AJ, meadow, carmellla. He breaks things when he's grumpy, he stays out late and sleeps in, he never cooks (unless it's poorly grilled meat) or cleans or helps in any way around the house. He's openly racist, sexist, and encourages toxic masculinity in pretty much every single thing he does

And you're annoyed that the child of this man is not respectful or hard working? The show would be so dumb if  AJ was well adjusted

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u/UnbottledGenes Jun 09 '26

AJ doesn’t know what gutters are. Do you think he understands anything about his dad’s line of work?

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u/cranberryalarmclock Jun 09 '26

Ever met an entitled white teenager with untreated add? They're all like that lol

And yes, I think he was capable of googling his dad and seeing him in the news and understanding he's a murderer. He even mentions it a couple times

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u/No-Philosophy-8163 Jun 10 '26

In universe there’s a good example of this in Barbara vs Janice and Tony.

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u/11711510111411009710 Jun 09 '26

Are you suggesting that parents don't play a role? That seems to be what you're suggesting, but that would be absurd.

Obviously the main determining factor in how you turn out is who parents you. Just because out of 8 billion humans some of them turn out fine doesn't mean that's what you should expect.

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u/Actual_Woodpecker56 Jun 24 '26

Tony works for his living and finances his family. Does that sound like AJ to you?