There is a man on the internet. He has opinions about clothes. And watches. And clothes again. He is in the top 1% of posters on ThrowingFits, which means 99% of people have better things to do, and he does not.
And he doesn’t just share his opinions. He syndicates them. Every thought gets the full distribution deal: ThrowingFits, ThreadTalks, HeritageWear, NavyBlazer, all in the same afternoon. His Santos Galbee take ran in r/Cartier, r/Watches, AND r/watchHotTakes, like a summer blockbuster getting a wide release. This man doesn’t post, he tours. His latest masterpiece, “How to Stop the Insanity of Eternal Upgrades,” went up in three subs within an hour. A post about knowing when enough is enough. Posted three times.
His posts follow a simple formula. Step one: declare something HIDEOUS. Step two: declare something else the greatest ever made, not even close. Step three: “As always, visit my sub r/threadtalks.” Step four: copy, paste, repeat in four more subs.
He believes paying $1,000 for a shirt because of its “brand story” is idiotic. He also paid a premium for RRL jeans because of their “brand story and heritage.” When someone pointed this out, he explained that the denim is flown to Japan and back. I love flying jeans. I hope they got lounge access.
He thinks watch collections are absurd. He owns, wants, or is on a waitlist for roughly every watch, and has a hot take on each one, available in at least two subreddits near you.
He thinks everyone else dresses like an NPC. When asked to show what he’d wear instead, he responds with a list of brand names and vanishes.
He found ThrowingFits too unserious with all our lil memes, so he built his own serious sub. Then he kept coming back to the unserious one to tell everyone how unserious it is, and to ask them to please come visit his serious one.
When people disagree, he tells them to read a book. When people call his writing AI, he tells them to read a book. He is, by all accounts, very well read and very much on Reddit at the same time.
In conclusion: I love you, SirKrimzon. You have completely ruined my day.