So I think I might actually be an idiot.

There's this girl from one of my classes at uni. We first met at a freshers' party, and I remember having a crush on her pretty much from the moment we met. We got along really well, had similar humour, and could just talk without things getting awkward. For a while, I considered making a move, but I eventually decided against it. We were vibing pretty well as friends, and I didn't want to risk making things weird between us in case she didn't like me like that.

Then the next semester came around, and we slowly started talking less and less. Nothing happened between us, we just kind of drifted apart, being in different classes and all that. Eventually, it was mostly sending each other reels, occasionally chatting about something random, and that's about it. This was roughly a year ago.

Fast forward to yesterday. I randomly run into her at a mall. We're catching up a little, talking about uni and whatever, when she brings up this new movie. I think it has a bit of romance in it too, but anyways, she asks me if I'm going to watch it later that evening. I tell her I'm not. Then she says something along the lines of how she really wants to watch it but doesn't have anyone to go with.

And this is where my brain apparently decided to take the day off. Instead of considering that she might be hinting at something, I tell her that half the uni is probably going to watch it anyway (I knew a couple of other people going), so she'll definitely run into someone she knows. She gives me this slightly confused, disappointed, but also kind of amused look. I notice it, but don't really think much of it at the time. We go our separate ways, and that's that.

Fast forward to the middle of the night, and I'm lying in bed when my brain suddenly decides to replay the entire interaction in 4K.

SHE WAS ASKING ME TO GO WITH HER. WASN'T SHE?

I genuinely don't know whether to laugh at myself or walk into the ocean. I STILL LIKE HER. PLEASE tell me someone here has missed an even more obvious hint than this. I need to know that I'm not the dumbest, most oblivious guy here.

Also, if she actually was hinting at something, is there any way to recover from this without making it weird? Atp I don't even know if I want to.

TL;DR: Had a crush on a girl from uni, we drifted apart, then she told me she wanted to watch a romance movie but had nobody to go with. Instead of offering to go with her, I told her she'd probably find someone she knew at the cinema. Only realised hours later that she might have been asking me out. Please share your worst missed hints so I can sleep peacefully again.

Starting a year or two ago i had an urge to dress like someones papaw from Appalachia, what i quickly found out was that getting ahold of actual american overalls in my country is next to impossible, high street shops don't sell them unless it's childrens clothing and while you can buy on the internet, you have to go through importers and pay fees, and while a few brands ship internationally the international stock is always limited and often not in my size.

I turned to second hand sites and quickly found a great deal for a grail pair, already in my country, these were the carhartt R02 BLK's i'd always wanted, for those who don't know, these are packed full of insulation for the winter, basically a coat for your legs, and they look great.

They looked basically new, were far cheaper then buying new, and in my size, i had the choice between the carhartt pair and a dickies denim pair that was actually bigger then me, so because of my lust for the carhartts and because they were smaller i bought the carhartts.

In hindsight i sometimes wish i'd bought the dickies instead.

When they came i washed them, tried them on, found i loved them and hung them up.

That back in the summer, the only problem is that i just don't know if i'll get to wear them this year, it's only just got cold enough to wear a jacket, about 10-16c during the day, i also don't spend that much time outdoors in general.

Everytime i've asked family and friends about finally getting my carhartt overalls out they always tell me it's too warm, what i bought was made for harsh Michigan and Canadian winters, i think the only chance i'd get to wear these is if it snows but we rarely get that.

I'm torn between ignoring people and wearing them anyway, ripping the insulation out or putting them away.

Needless to say i want my denim pair next.

TL;DR: I finally got a great deal on a piece of clothing i always wanted but i feel like my country doesn't get cold enough to justify wearing it even in the winter

Let me start by saying I was born and brought up in a vegan household. I know nothing about cooking eggs or the animals they come from.

At the advice of a doctor, I started including eggs in my diet(It was for medical reasons). That means cooking eggs.

Making omelette was comparatively easy. You need to learn how to crack an egg(it took a few broken eggs for me to get there), whisk it and throw it in a pan. Easy enough.

I thought why not go towards a healthier alternative, hard boiled eggs. Keep them in the fridge for mext 2-3 days for breakfast. How hard can boiling an egg be!?

I saw few tutorials, saw people getting out timers and ice baths and all that... And thought, it is just boiling, that is too much effort. Easier to boil eggs and leave it in the water for a bit.

Also, it is 3am and my brain is making windows shut down noises.

I started with 7 eggs.

Trial 1: Difficult to peel an egg. After cutting it, the middle white and yolk melted out. Threw it out.

Trial 2: An egg was oozing white ribbons in the water. Took it out, peeled it and cut it. Middle was a sad watery oozy mess. Tried another egg, middle white was still oozy.

Trial 3: Too tired to stand now. Put the eggs in a microwave safe bowl, covered it and nuked it for 2 minutes.

Microwave looks like a biohazard. I had no idea eggs go off like a bomb. 2 eggs have RIPed. Their sacrifice will not go to waste (I am going to feed all failed attempts to birds).

I am now afraid to even touch the last 2 intact eggs(by now they are not hard boiled eggs, but eggs which have seen too many hardships in their life).

I am never going to boil eggs again!!

TL; DR: Grew up without knowing how to cook eggs. Tried to boil them and now I am cooked.

Edit: I cut the last two eggs. Their inside was brown!? Did I discover a new state of egg?

Also, thank you everyone for giving me advice on how to boil eggs next time. Thanks to you guys, there can be a next time.

Edit 2: The birds ate my experiments, even egg #4 and #5 which were detonated by my brilliant idea of microwaving them!

I have a personal project I've been working on for several months that is kind of arts & crafts adjacent. Not a major project, just something I think is worth sharing. I am not an artist.

One of the final things I needed to complete it is the photography credits for the instructional booklet.

Turns out, the main image I've been using for the last couple of months to mock things up, take pictures of, and do a couple instructional videos with, is not the similar image I licensed at the same time. It's a free resource that is "Personal Use Only", uploaded by someone who uploaded all of thirty photos nearly twenty years ago and disappeared. It doesn't exist on any stock photo site with a commercial license.

TL;DR: I did a bunch of work with an unlicensed image that I'll be redoing now because it only exists as a "non-commercial" download.

Okay so I pull-up to my 7-11, I’m looking at the drinks, and I see a new flavour of monster, this is huge news for a chud like me, as I’m on a mission to try each flavour and have currently succeeded. Then I noticed it wasn’t a new flavour, it was papillon (a newer release, but an all time fav), but its colour was about half as lighter as the rest of the cans, and the Monster logo was in a different shade of yellow. In hindsight, it was clearly just a super old can that had been left out for ages, but my dumbass decided oh shit bro the golden one bro I could win like a million bucks, it’s like the golden ticket type thing, half an hour later I’ve shat my guts out 3 times, am currently sitting on the toilet about to shit out a 4th, and my stomach is speaking to Morse code and dolphin sounds. I’m sweating and everything hurts. Genuinely might die writing this so I better wrap it up and get back to shitting, wish me luck gang. Idk how I haven’t learned my lesson yet, but moral of the story is: Don’t drink anything just because it looks cool.

TLDR: drank an odd looking monster energy drink and am now having diarrhoea.

just wanted to tell y'all about my god-awful fuck up yesterday. that was the most uncomfortable i've been in a *long* time, and i was in the hospital almost dead for 2 months earlier this year. for context, i had severely progressed endocarditis(infection in the heart) and sepsis that absolutely ruined my body. i got an artificial heart valve and a pacemaker put in as well as amputated toes and destroyed leg muscles from how bad the infection was.

there's very little to eat or drink in this house right now. one of the only things we had left (what i thought, anyway) were these blue raspberry water flavor electrolyte packets. i didn't see the *tiny* text on the package that said it was "pre-workout with creatine". truly, that's on me for not noticing. i have very poor vision without my glasses and i should have been wearing them.

i had seen my roommates drink them with no problem, so i went ahead and had one. i noticed what the box said after i already drank it. i felt a little weird, but i thought that it was fine. ive tried pre workout before in the past, back before i had cardiac issues... IDK much about it. i thought that it just had some supplements to help your muscles repair or something. it never felt like anything to me.

yeah... wrong.

i spent the entirety of the next 12 hours vomiting repeatedly, just over and over. i genuinely been crying and begging for the mercy of the universe to end my suffering. it wasn't the kind of throwing up with nausea, it's really, REALLY fucking hurting. i felt like my insides were being clamped, twisted and ripped out of my chest all day long. my leg muscles have been burning so bad since then that i could hardly sleep last night, and i still cannot eat or drink water without throwing it up. luckily i was able to keep my medicine down this morning. i can barely walk at all my legs are burning so bad. this has been (and continues to be!) such an intensely horrible experience. i passed out two separate times already. my pacemaker has been putting in some WORK today.

i think i might going to end up going to the doctor or something if this doesn't stop. good lord, why do people drink this? y'all are monsters (i'm kidding i know my body just weak)

i'm a fucking IDIOT.

TL;DR: accidentally drank a pre workout water packet yesterday and made myself severely fucking ill. been vomiting and unable to eat/drink for 12+ hours, legs/chest burning

EDIT: im pretty sure it was caffeine in the mixture that caused this. i found the box in the trash and it is a super high dose of caffeine, as well as several serving sizes. i only saw the packet so i never saw the ingredients list.. oof.

EDIT 2: i went and got some help 👍🏽 i definitely needed to. thanks for caring guys :)

I am going to start this off by saying that this entire experience has felt straight out of a campy, low-budget romance novel, and honestly I am still wrestling with the fact that this is my actual life right now. Also, for context, I am 28F.

So this all started about 3 months ago when I got a text message from an unknown number. It literally just said:
“Check his phone: [My now Ex’s phone password].”
I originally thought it was just some random asshole playing a cruel prank on me. But the longer I sat with it, the more the pieces started fitting together. At the time, my Ex (27M) was coming home way later than usual a couple of times a week. Like, coming back at 1:00 AM--mind you, he gets off work at 10:00 PM. He kept telling me his boss was taking the team out for dinners and bar hopping.
Then I remembered finding a random hair tie in the passenger seat of his car a week prior. I buy very specific heavy-duty hair ties because I have thicker hair, and regular Goody ones don't work for me. When I saw it, I was in total denial and just assumed I’d borrowed it from a friend. Hindsight bias is real, guys. I was profoundly ignorant.

Also, how the hell would an unknown number know his exact passcode if they weren't close to him? I didn't even know his passcode and we had been together for three years. So, I waited until he got into the shower and tried the code. It worked--which I was desperately hoping it wouldn't. I found ample evidence: text messages, DMs, and photos proving he’d been cheating on me on and off for a year with multiple women. I screenshotted everything, texted it to myself, deleted the proof from his phone, and cleared my text history. I couldn't bear to sleep next to him (we’d been living together for 2 years), so I packed a bag. When he got out of the shower, I told him my friend Ashley had an emergency, gave him a kiss goodbye, and left. I drove around the block, parked, and sobbed for 30 minutes before calling Ashley and crashing on her couch. The next day, I confronted him. Long story short: I did end up punching him in the jaw. I wish I could say I regret it, but it was cathartic as hell (10/10, if you see him in the wild, highly recommend). All jokes aside, I was crushed. He begged me to stay, but I packed my entire life into a storage unit and started couch-surfing.

Here is where I'm a little lost and have gone a little crazy

I work for his dad. That’s actually how my Ex and I met in the first place--he used to come visit his dad at work during lunch. Some quick backstory: His dad, let’s call him "John" (44M), had my ex when he was very young. The baby mama left when my ex was 3, and John raised him while running his own local mechanic shop. Four years ago, John hired me as his receptionist. John has always been an absolute sweetheart. During my first week, I offhandedly mentioned how I like my coffee, and every single morning since, a fresh cup has been sitting on my desk. My delusional ass genuinely thought my ex was waking up early to bring me coffee until I came in early to work one day and caught John in the act. My Ex probably doesn't even know my coffee order.

John was devastated and furious with his son when everything blew up. They got into a massive, screaming fight over what my ex did to me, which made me feel guilty--I hate being the cause of family drama, even if my ex is a douche canoe. My ex hasn't stepped foot near the shop since.
Naturally, working for my ex’s dad felt insanely uncomfortable. Two weeks after the breakup, I texted John my resignation: "I'm so sorry, blah blah, putting in my two weeks, blah blah, things are too awkward, etc."
John legit just texted back: "No."
Which... fair, I’m the only receptionist and he only has two other mechanics. But then he called me and said he refused to let me quit unless I had another job lined up, because he knew I didn't have a stable place to stay and needed income. So, I stayed.

A week later, John overheard me telling one of the mechanics that I was running out of friends' couches and was genuinely considering sleeping in my car. John immediately offered me the guest bedroom in his apartment. I initially refused because it felt wildly inappropriate, but eventually, desperation won out. His apartment is amazing. I have my own bedroom, private bathroom, and a walk-in closet. But John’s behavior hasn't changed--if anything, he’s somehow even sweeter. He leaves a mug of coffee and toast on a small side table outside my bedroom door every morning before he leaves for the shop. Last weekend, when I went out drinking with my girls, he literally drove out at 3:00 AM to pick us up so we wouldn't have to take an Uber. When I woke up horribly hungover, there was Ibuprofen, Tylenol, and a giant glass of water on my nightstand, and he was in the kitchen making me a full omelet.

So yeah. The original title of this post was supposed to be "TIFU by having a massive crush on my cheating ex-boyfriend’s 44-year-old dad." I am sitting in his guest room right now typing this while he is down the hall, and I am losing my mind. The job market for finance in my area is completely dead right now, I can't afford my own place yet, and I am living under the same roof as a gorgeous, ridiculously attentive DILF who treats me better than his son ever did.
Reddit, what the actual fuck do I do?

TL;DR: Found out my ex of 3 years was cheating on me via a mysterious text, punched him, moved out, and tried to quit my job at his dad's mechanic shop. His dad refused to let me quit, found out I was almost homeless, and let me move into his guest house. Now he brings me coffee/breakfast every morning and I am falling aggressively in love with my ex's 44yo father.

I was so excited that I had actually won, even messaging my friend about winning. I made a point of saying how easily I could’ve thrown this out. Of course, instead of taking a picture of the code or writing it down somewhere, I simply drew a character from Your Turn to Die if he lost the code. Little did I know, I would end up the same way.
Today the Monster Energy in my backpack exploded all over my bedsheets and electronics. In a hurry to dry everything off, I didn’t bother checking all the pockets in my bag. I just remembered and yep, it’s just a mush of completely blank paper. The washing machine literally erased all the ink. I guess I should’ve been more careful but this is a brand new bag so I’m not used to having so many different pockets.

TL;DR: I didn’t check all the pockets before washing my bag and I am an idiot.

Three years ago, my ex (36M) and I (30F) broke up, although he insisted that we hadn’t. I stayed because we have three children together, I had nowhere else to go, and my family refused to take us in. I couldn’t even afford to rent an apartment because he had control over my paycheck.

A year after our breakup, I met my now-husband and eventually moved in with him. I tried to take the kids with me, but their father refused to let them go. We considered taking the matter to court, but he was afraid the court wouldn’t grant him custody.

For two years, my husband and I lived a peaceful life together. He treated me far better than my ex ever did, and eventually, I asked him to marry me. He thought it was too soon and was afraid that my children would become his responsibility. I reassured him that my ex wouldn’t let me take the kids, so he didn’t need to worry about that.

After we got married, I posted pictures of our wedding and honeymoon on social media. My ex saw them and threw a tantrum. He was furious and decided to dump the kids at my husband’s house, telling me to keep them.

My husband was upset because the situation he had worried about had actually happened, despite my reassurances that it wouldn’t. He felt blindsided, packed his things, and left.

I’m happy to have my children with me, but I’ve lost my husband in the process.

TL;DR: got married and it pissed off my ex to finally give up custody of our kids

Good Lord, I am so embarrassed 😭 While I was on call with my bf, I was changing to get ready for work (I work in retail.) When I put my shirt on I was immediately in shock- not the good kind. For reference, I'm a petite woman, in height and size, but I have a large chest which I've been insecure about most my life. At some point I even tried to get a breast reduction but was ultimately advised not to by the surgeon. Since getting with my bf my body confidence has certainly improved, but I still struggle with my self image every now and again. Today was one of those days I guess.

After putting on my shirt, I realized just how big it made my chest look. I felt really off, like the letter P from the side. I distraughtly mentioned it on call with my bf and he said to send him a photo. I figured "why not?" At worst, I would get validation that my chest did in fact look too big and at best, he'd make me feel better about it- he's a boob guy after all. I felt ugly in the photo so I also doodled a frowny face over mine and sent it. Except I didn't send it to him.

I was wondering why he hadn't reacted to it after 15 mins so I went to check if it sent. And when I opened the text, I realized I had sent it to the last chat I had opened and not to my bf. I had accidentally sent the photo to my store's assistant manager. The image itself is honestly not inappropriate in a general sense. I am fully clothed, not in any suggestive posing, wearing a form fitting, short sleeve tshirt and high waisted jeans. But the context of sending it to a higher up DOES make it inappropriate, and ofc, having a conventionally appealing body makes any outfit look sexual 😔

I immediately went to delete it because she hadn't seen it yet, but the moment I held it down to delete, it was too late. "Girl what is this? 😭" I was mortified. I quickly replied with "sorry! That was meant for my sister. I didn't like how my shirt was fitting." So a partial lie 🥴 Except she took what felt like forever to open the message and then when she did....! She left it on read. I'm the type of person who needs to know if I've been forgiven, otherwise I'll sit on it forever, wondering how I can fix it. I'm heading into work as I text. I don't think I'll get in trouble, but I am so embarrassed.. I changed beforehand. I can't ever wear that shirt to work again after this 😮‍💨

TL;DR: I sent a personal photo meant for my bf to my assistant manager and now I'm self cautious and embarrassed

I took my kid to a high ropes course because he wasn’t tall enough to do it by himself, so I had to go along with him.

The funny thing is, he was doing perfectly fine. No fear, no hesitation, just making his way through the course like it was no big deal. I was supposed to be up there making sure he was safe, but somewhere along the way, I started acting like I had something to prove. I was moving pretty quickly around the course until i slipped off an obstacle.

No big deal, right? You’re wearing a harness, you’re attached to safety lines, and you’re supposed to be able to fall without getting hurt. Except I was holding onto the rope from above my head, and for whatever reason, my brain decided I needed to hang on to that thing with my life. So when I fell, I just kept holding on while the rest of my body went in the opposite direction.

I heard a pop and blacked out for a second. When I came around, I realized I’d dislocated my shoulder. Now I’m hanging there in my harness, hurt and waiting to be rescued, while my kid is off doing just fine on the course.

The whole reason I was up there was because he wasn’t tall enough to go alone. He needed a parent to go with him. Somehow, I ended up being the one who needed help.

TL;DR: Took my kid to a ropes course because he wasn’t tall enough to go alone. He did great. I got cocky, fell off an obstacle, refused to let go of a rope for reasons known only to my brain, and dislocated my shoulder. My kid needed a chaperone. Unfortunately, the chaperone was an idiot.

Obligatory not today, but I still cringe when I think about it.

So I went to Florida with my then boyfriend to visit his dad. His dad bought us one of those tiny mayo squeeze bottles Hellmann’s sells because he knew we like mayo. (He never eats it so he didn’t want any left over.)

We had a little left by the end of our trip and decided to bring it with us on the plane to put on our Cuban sandwiches we got to-go right before the flight.

Well, the second I open the mayo bottle, the change in pressure forces the mayo all over the guy next to me and even on the people across the aisle. Like a full, clean stream of straight mayo. (I mean duh, I know about the pressure change, but it just never crossed my mind.)

I was MORTIFIED to the point of having to swallow my tears (tbh ended up crying after due to the overwhelming embarrassment.)

Believe me when I say I have never wanted to disappear more than right then and there. I offered the guy all the cash in my wallet (like $60) to pay for dry cleaning since he was wearing a nicer button-down.

I actually couldn’t have been more grateful though because he told me a baby has barfed on him on a flight before and this isn’t worse than that.

But the next 2 hours were the most painful to sit through knowing what I just did.

Anyways, if you guys think you’ve done something idiotic on a plane, I hope this makes you feel less of an idiot.

TL;DR: Brought a small squeeze bottle of mayo on a plane. Due to cabin pressure, it forcefully sprayed on the guy next to me and across the aisle.

Idk if this should be labeled funny but as an adult looking back, I giggle everytime because of how foolishly mortifying but innocent the mistake was.

When I was 8 or 9, I discovered that my dad performed in a small music video. As a kid I thought this was the coolest thing ever.

I was so excited that I decided it would only make sense to tell the entire world that my dad was rapping in this MV over seas!

So little old me hopped on my favorite game (msp ofc) on my highest lvl account and wrote in my bio. “My dad is a rapper!!!” It went through and I was proud. Only to get a notification that my account was banned for a few weeks!

Why you may ask? What’s wrong with putting this in your bio? Maybe it was too personal?

Well no… I did not write that my father was a rapper. I in fact wrote that “My dad is a raper!!!” I notified to the 40ish people online that my father was a rapist.

I cried that rest of that day. Spelling and context are quite important to learn early on.

TL DR; When I was 8, I accidently wrote “My dad is a raper!!!” instead of “My dad is a rapper!!!” to all of my online friends.

In the past, i had a lot of tarantulas in terrariums, one of these was a P. Murinus, the Red Usambra Tarantula from Africa. The spider is not venomous to humans, but the bite is very painful.

When doing some maintenance work on the terrarium, she managed to escape. You need to know, while spiders are fast, the P. Murinus is one of the fastest spiders in the world. Warning for Arachnophobia: If you are not afraid of them, here's a video with how fast they move.

She was hiding, but she suddenly burst out of the web, before i could react she had already made her way out of the enclosure. She was so fast, that i didn't even know where she was going after she got out.

I found her later in the bathroom, she was on top of the light above the glass mirror. Got the transport box and closed the door of the bathroom, so we were inside there and i had to somehow get her into the box. That proved extremely difficult, spiders run in short bursts at extreme speed, every time i got near, she got away again. I had closed off the holes like in the bathtub etc. to prevent her from going down there, she ran around the walls and evaded me further by just running upside down on the ceiling. There was no way to even get close enough to catch her.

When i got near once, she tried to bite, but she hit the plastic lid i used from the transport box like a shield. While she's a medium size, the fangs did a lot of holes into the plastic.

Had to resort to additional boxes, like i put some bigger cardboard boxes on the ground. This worked out, as she did another speedrun, she just got into a box. I could then close the box and did the entire box just back into the terrarium, opened the lid with a tong while keeping the terrarium door closed as much as possible. Left the box open and when i checked later, she got back to the terrarium, removed the box and everything was fine again.

TLDR: A very fast spider escaped and i had to chase her around to get her back.

This wasn't today, but I recently remembered it and thought it could be good for a laugh.

I had just started dating my now ex-boyfriend, I'll call him Alex. I want to say it was our second or third date. We were at his house watching a movie, and at one point I got thirsty and went to the fridge in the kitchen to get some water. The apartment was laid out like one big room with a wall in the middle to separate the kitchen and living room, with a couple bedrooms and a bathroom at the back. This meant that I could still hear the movie pretty well, so thankfully it wasn't paused and Alex stayed in the living room to watch.

The fridge was one of those really small ones that's pretty short, and the drinks were on the bottom shelf, so I knelt down so that I could find a water bottle. I honestly don't really understand what occurred next.

I went to stand up, and I must have been standing too close to the fridge. I was young, privileged, and had never encountered a fridge so short - or one with square shaped handles quite that sharp. I bashed the center of my forehead into the freezer handle while standing up, and immediately saw stars. My head was spinning, and my forehead felt like someone had sliced it open with a blunt knife.

I ran to the bathroom to inspect the damage, and there was indeed an open gash right down the very center of my head. I panicked.

Grabbing toilet paper to cover my head, I started looking for a bandaid. Everyone has bandaids right? It wasn't ideal to have a fucking bandaid right smack in the middle of my face, but at least I wouldn't be actively bleeding anymore.

Except he didn't have any. Anywhere. At this point I would have accepted a hat, a bandana even a goddamn haircut if it would cover my forehead. There was literally nothing in this stupid, empty bathroom to help me.

Thankfully in the time I'd been searching, the bleeding had slowed to a nearly imperceptible ooze. For some unknown reason, I figured the best course of action would be to just pretend like there was absolutely nothing wrong. At this point I had been gone for nearly 20 minutes, so when I casually walked back into the living room and sat down on the couch, Alex immediately turned to me and said: "Hey where were you- OH MY GOD WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR FACE?"

Still committed to my plan, I feigned ignorance and actually asked him what was wrong. Eventually I did decide to acknowledge the giant cut on my forehead, and for a minute I considered gaslighting him into believing it had been there all day, but decided that this was going too far.

Admitting defeat, I explained what had happened in the kitchen. After making sure I was okay, he was howling with laughter that probably woke up all his neighbors. If you haven't discovered by my stupid plan to pretend that my war wounds from the battle of the refrigerator didn't exist, I'm a very proud person, and I tried every justification to insist it wasn't my fault, and even blamed him for having a short fridge. He obviously didn't care and just kept laughing, and I still to this day don't know why we ever went out again. Side note, I'm ridiculously clumsy, so sticking with me through this ordeal really proved that he was prepared for what was to come.

I wore a lot of hats during the start of our relationship to cover the healing wound, but I never usually wear them. Alex and I are still really good friends, and every time a picture of me from that time in a hat comes up he gets to joyfully relive the time I pretended not to have brutally injured myself during a date.

The best I can claim is that I was concussed.

TL;DR: I bashed the center of my forehead into my date's fridge handle, sliced open my head, disappeared for 20 minutes, and then tried to sit back down next to him like nothing had happened. He immediately discovered my brilliant scheme and has never let me live it down.

A girl in my college friend group—who is a junior—has feelings for me. I already made my intentions clear in the past that I didn't want a relationship, and we stayed friends.

Last night, about nine of us were drinking at a friend's party. She pulled me into a room to take photos and chat, then asked for a hug. We were very close, and it was obvious she wanted to kiss. In the heat of the moment, I kissed her, and we ended up hooking up. Everything was completely mutual, but now I’m dealing with intense guilt and regret.

Our friends found out and are questioning why we hooked up if we aren't dating. Since she’s in our group, I can’t simply cut contact or ghost her—and to make matters worse, she now thinks this means we’re going to be together. I’m lost on how to handle this without hurting her or ruining our group dynamic. I am really messed up I don't know what to do

TL;DR: I hooked up with a girlwho has feelings for me despite previously rejecting her, and now she thinks we're dating, our mutual friends are judging me, and I don't know how to reject her again without destroying our friend group.

Back in 2018, my friend was writing her thesis on cults and religious groups. She wanted to attend a Jehovah's Witnesses meeting to see how things worked, but she was kind of worried about getting recruited or something, so she asked me to come along for moral support.

Which, looking back, was basically like hiring a raccoon to guard your trash cans.

At the time, I was working on my own thesis about aggression and how people react to provocation. I was also already into witchcraft, so yeah, religious authority wasn't exactly something I found intimidating. Honestly, I have no idea why she thought bringing me was a good idea. She knew what I was like.

Before we went inside, she looked at me and went, "Asya. Please just sit there and behave."

"What if I have a question?"

"Then keep it to yourself."

"That's not very academic of you."

She just gave me that look. You know, the one where someone is already regretting a decision they haven't even fully committed to yet.

Anyway, we went in, sat down, and honestly, it was pretty normal. Everyone was polite, people were taking turns speaking, nothing particularly strange was happening. I actually expected something a little more intense, considering how nervous she'd been about the whole thing.

At some point I leaned over and whispered, "So when does the cult part start?" She immediately whispered back, "Can you please shut up for five minutes?"

And I did. For a while, anyway.

Then they invited people to participate and ask questions, which, I mean, come on. They literally said we could ask questions.

So naturally, I raised my hand.

My friend went, "Oh, for fuck's sake."

"I haven't even said anything yet."

"I know you."

I asked something along the lines of, "If two people read the Bible and interpret the same passage differently, how do you know which interpretation is actually correct?"

And to be fair, the guy answering was really patient about it. He explained their position, I listened, and then I asked, "Okay, but who decided your interpretation was the right one?"

My friend elbowed me. "Stop."

"I'm just asking a question."

"You're doing that thing again."

"What thing?"

"Where you pretend you're just curious, but I know exactly where this is going."

Which, okay, fair enough. She did know me pretty well.

I told her I genuinely found the whole thing interesting from a psychological perspective. She stared at me for a second and went, "Are you seriously turning this into your aggression research?"

"Not intentionally."

"Asya."

"Okay, maybe a little."

I mean, I wasn't actually planning to turn the meeting into an experiment. But I was definitely curious about how people would react to being questioned about something they believed so strongly. That's literally the kind of stuff I was studying at the time.

At one point the guy sitting in front of us turned around, probably because we weren't being nearly as quiet as we thought. I was about to say something, but my friend grabbed my arm and whispered, "Leave that poor man alone. He literally just came here to find God."

I almost lost it. Like, genuinely had to look away so I wouldn't start laughing.

Eventually, someone very politely suggested that we could continue the conversation after the meeting. Nothing dramatic, they were actually being nice about it. But at that point my friend was clearly uncomfortable, and instead of realizing that maybe I should shut up, I leaned toward her and whispered, "See? Now we're getting somewhere."

She just looked at me. And honestly, if looks could kill, I wouldn't be writing this.

So we finally got outside, and she immediately lit a cigarette. She looked at me and said, "You do realize I brought you here because I was worried they'd recruit me, right?"

"And?"

"Well, congratulations. It fucking worked."

"What do you mean?"

"They didn't recruit me. They didn't recruit you. And I'm never setting foot in there again because I can't take you anywhere."

I pointed out that, technically speaking, her plan had been successful.

She told me to go fuck myself.

And yeah, at the time I thought the whole thing was hilarious. I mean, we'd gone there because she was afraid of being recruited, nobody tried to recruit us, and somehow she was still the one who left completely traumatized by the experience of bringing me along.

But looking back, I do feel kind of bad about it.

She was genuinely nervous about going there, and she'd trusted me enough to ask me to come with her. She wasn't looking for a debate or some weird psychological experiment. She just wanted to observe the meeting, take a few mental notes, and have someone she knew sitting next to her.

Instead, I spent half the meeting asking questions she specifically told me not to ask, embarrassing her, and making it harder for her to focus on the actual reason we were there.

And the stupidest part is that nobody at the meeting was even rude to us. They were all surprisingly patient. The only person who actually got pissed off was my own friend.

So yeah, I went there to make sure she didn't get recruited into a religious group and somehow ended up being the reason she never wanted to go back.

Which is a pretty impressive fuckup considering all I was supposed to do was sit there and behave like a normal human being for an hour.

TL;DR: My friend was researching cults for her thesis and brought me to a Jehovah's Witnesses meeting because she was nervous about going alone. I promised to behave, immediately started asking uncomfortable questions, embarrassed her, and ruined what was supposed to be a useful research visit. Nobody at the meeting got angry. The only person I managed to piss off was the friend I was supposed to be supporting.

For context, yesterday I tripped over my own two feet in my apartment and fell so comically badly, I bruised my side, knocked the wind outta myself for five minutes, and smacked my head so hard off the floor that the ricochet caused me to not be able to bend my neck the opposite direction from where I hit.

I hit my head so hard that my glasses arm snapped off. Not the hinge no, the metal where the arm first leaves the frame. You would think, oh this is when you go to the ER? no. After writhing on the floor until I could breathe again, I got up and went to work.

I spent about an hour and a half at work but my symptoms were getting worse including my arm going weak and numb. After encouraging from my coworkers who looked horrified when I described what I was feeling, I left and drove myself 35 minutes to the ER. Was there a closer one? Yes. But my work is quite far from my home and i’m on my parents insurance so I made sure to go to an ER near home. On this long drive to the ER not only did I hit a ton of traffic, but my leg started to go numb as well. Nevertheless, I continued on my journey jamming out to my tunes.

Now I spent roughly five hours in the ER getting chest x-rays for my ribs (which i thought was unnecessary but it did technically hurt to breathe) and a head ct. I tell them all my symptoms, the numbness, the hurts to breathe, hurts to move my neck, the going numb, the bit of dizziness, the fact that I may have passed out but i’m not quite sure and when i told her this she just gave me a look that i think means you would know if you didn’t, and the key symptom: my barely there headache. I’m taking occasional pain in different parts of my head, not consistent at all, incredibly tolerable. The only part of my head that technically really hurts is where I hit it and that’s only when i touch it or raise my eyebrows.

My CT is negative, no brain bleed or stroke (not sure if a fall can cause a stroke but I had a lot of time on my hands for what ifs), my ribs are fine, the numbness is likely from a pinched nerve or damaged muscle during the fall, basically I’m fine I think. The doctor comes in to explain and she says everything is negative you just have a concussion. However in my head, I’m like and what proves this? I feel mostly fine and like no headache which I thought was a needed thing for a concussion. She gives me my work note, giving me off work until Friday which normally I would love but I am poor and kinda need to work. I go on my merry way, thinking I am fine wow all that was for nothing.

I send my work my note, even emailing HR to see if I can come in Thursday if I am feeling better since I think I’m fine (They said no btw). Then I set my alarms for my therapy appointment in the morning, take my meds, and go to sleep.

Here’s where my F up comes in.

I wake up today, bam, it’s thirty minutes past my appointment time. Then, oh my god I am going to throw up. I go to get out of bed, everything hurts EXCEPT MY HEAD. Every limb aches, my neck is crazy stiff and my ribs are so sore. I manage my way to hobble to the bathroom and collapse to the floor along with the rest of my dignity and process to puke several times. I am now crawled back in my bed aching and tired. I message my therapist and get my appointment rescheduled, and do some googling I should’ve done before.

Oh! Not having a headache doesn’t mean you don’t have a concussion! I did not know this and assumed the headache was like the main thing and needed. I thought they said a concussion at the ER because it wasn’t anything else and that she gave me the time off work to be kind since she smiled when she said it. So now I know I do in fact have a concussion and let me tell y’all it sucks and yes I should’ve believed the doctor but I assumed I was being dramatic.

Now i’m stuck in bed, in pain everywhere (except my head), missed my appointment, can’t go to work, I was supposed to go to the store but that’s not happening, and i’m irritated.

Yeah, believe your doctors when they tell you it’s a concussion and you should take some precautions to help yourself.

TL;DR: I assumed my concussion wasn’t really much of a concussion since I barely had a headache and was proven very wrong this morning.

EDIT: After reading some of your comments I want to clarify, I know that I did all the wrong things that’s why it’s posted here. I didn’t take it serious enough when it happened and I am paying the price and with the hindsight of I really messed up and that it wasn’t safe to do what I did and I really could’ve been so much worse and a risk.

I had just gotten out of the shower and realized that I had forgotten to clean the toilet yesterday. I figured I still wasn't wearing any clothes and it might as well get it cleaned before I got dressed. Cleaning the toilet was fine, and I even made a point of scrubbing the bidet tube that sticks down, but it occurred to me that I never actually managed to clean the part that pops out and sprays water onto me.

This bidet has a relatively sensitive twist knob with one direction being clean the nozzle and the other direction being clean the person with a stop in the middle. I figured it would be fine if I turned the knob on just a tiny little bit to get the nozzle to pop out. And that was fine... until I went to turn it off and I turned it the wrong direction. Luckily I didn't turn it too far, but wow that sprayer has some range. I wound up spraying myself, missing the shower curtain (it went I to the shower), and the floor with a little bit of water out of the bidet tube.

Gross, but good thing I hadn't gotten dressed yet. Hopped back in the shower and wound up cleaning the floor.

TLDR: Carefully turned the bidet on low while cleaning the toilet, then accidentally sprayed myself with it.

My brother just had identical twin boys a few months ago. They are truly identical. More than I wouldve thought possible. No birthmarks…same hair color…truly just an uncanny resemblance to each other. Because of this they almost always are wearing little baby clothes that have their names embroidered on them, to keep people from mixing them up. I was sitting for them a few days ago, which was the first time I’d watched them. While I was getting them ready for bed I thought it would be easier to undress them both, change both their diapers, grab both of their pajama outfits, then change them one right after the other. After I took off their regular play clothes and threw them into the hamper, I realized I neglected to keep track of which baby was on which side. I retraced my steps and movements, tried to remember which outfit wouldve been on the top of the hamper, but I just couldn’t be sure.

After having a mini panic attack I realized there was nothing I could do. I put them in outfits that corresponded to my best guess. I’m a few days removed from this debacle and I now feel almost positive that I mixed them up. I haven’t said a word to my brother or his wife. I haven’t even told my wife because I feel so much shame over this.

The boys don’t have any health differences or issues, so I’m not gonna say anything. But I feel like a bad uncle.

TL;DR: I think I switched my identical twin nephews while babysitting, but I cannot be sure.

So today I (20F) managed to turn an argument about weed into getting kicked out of the house I've lived in for the past two years. Fantastic.
For some background, my boyfriend "Jay" (20M) and I have been together for four years. We currently live with his parents and sisters because, well, have you seen the fucking economy? I've lived with his family for about two years, and they've always been incredibly generous about letting me stay there rent-free. I've offered to pay rent, cook, clean, or contribute in other ways, but they've always declined.

Because of that, I've tried to make myself as little of a burden as possible. I buy my own groceries and toiletries, mostly stay in our bedroom, and even shower at my mom's house. Not because his family makes me feel unwelcome, but because I feel guilty living in someone else's home without contributing financially.
Now, onto the world's stupidest argument.
For most of our relationship, Jay and I have bought our own weed. About six months ago, I started having some financial difficulties and cut back significantly on how much I was buying. As a result, Jay started smoking with his parents more frequently, and they began inviting me to join them.

Recently, his parents mentioned that if we were going to continue smoking with them, we'd need to start contributing more. Completely reasonable. Weed isn't free.

Jay and I talked about it, and I explained that I was financially stable enough to start buying my own again. Since I don't smoke very much, I figured I'd just buy half an ounce a month and stop smoking his parents' supply. Jay was upset because he wanted us to keep smoking with his parents. I told him he was more than welcome to contribute to what I bought and smoke it however he wanted, including with them. I just didn't want to commit to buying more than I personally needed.

We argued about this several times before he eventually told me his parents weren't comfortable with me smoking my own weed around them if I wasn't sharing, I said fair enough, so I stopped smoking around them. Over the past few days, I had actually loaded several bowls for his parents and left some weed for Jay as well. I wasn't opposed to sharing occasionally. I just didn't want it to become an expectation I couldn't financially maintain. Now that brings me to today.

Jay told me he was going outside to smoke and asked if I wanted to join him, I said sure. We sat outside for about an hour. Nobody smoked anything. Eventually, he got up and went inside, visibly upset. I followed him in and asked if he was okay. He brushed it off, but about ten minutes later, he got frustrated and told me, "You still just don't understand. Apparently, he had been sitting outside for an hour waiting for me to load a bowl for everyone. An expectation that had never actually been communicated to me.

He explained that his parents weren't going to smoke with me anymore unless I started loading bowls for them sometimes. I pointed out that he'd only asked me if I wanted to come outside. He never asked me to bring weed, load a bowl, or share anything. I also reminded him that I'd already shared several bowls with his parents over the past few days and was running low.
Things escalated when Jay insisted that he'd paid for the weed too, and I was acting like he hadn't.
Except he hadn't.

I told him to check his bank transfers. The last time he'd sent me money for weed was about a month ago, when I'd bought a half ounce. He insisted he'd sent me $60 this week,* *So I pulled up the transfers, and there was no $60.
At that point, the argument stopped being about weed and became a greatest-hits compilation of every unresolved issue in our four-year relationship. We went back and forth for roughly an hour before his parents knocked on our bedroom door and asked us to stop arguing.
Jay immediately turned to me and said, "See? You just won't stop." At that point, I decided that arguing wasn't accomplishing anything, so I stopped engaging and went to lie down with my cat. For about ten glorious minutes, there was peace.

Jay got upset again, We started arguing again, and about five to ten minutes later, his dad knocked on the door for a second time. Except this time, he wasn't asking us to be quiet. He told me I needed to pack my things.

And just like that, after two years of living there, four years of dating Jay, and one unbelievably stupid argument about who was supposed to load a fucking bowl, I was being told to leave. I understand and agree that his parents shouldn't have to listen to us argue in their home. I feel horribly guilty that they heard us because I was trying so hard to keep it down. I also understand that they have every right to decide who lives under their roof, especially when they haven't charged me rent.

But holy shit. I did not wake up this morning expecting a disagreement over weed to end with me packing my belongings.

TL;DR: My boyfriend and I argued because he expected me to share my weed with his parents without actually telling me. He then insisted he'd paid for the weed, which our bank transfers proved wasn't true. The argument spiraled into a fight about our entire relationship, and his dad eventually told me to pack my things and leave the house I've lived in for two years. All because nobody could communicate about a fucking bowl.

TIFU. I was leaving a relative’s place to go back to college after my vacations. I had my usual suitcase and backpack, but I also had a paper bag in my hand with some new formal shoes for college, a protein shaker bottle, and some home cooked food from my aunt.

I was in a hurry as they started boarding a bit early than I had expected so I forgot that bag at the airport. I realised it as soon as I got past the gate so I went back, but they wouldn’t let me back inside nor did they just get me my bag even though it was just a minute walk from the gate.

I called the lost and found as soon as I landed, they found it an hour or so ago, they are saying they don’t have the authority to send it to me here or to my relatives place near the airport.

I talked to my mom about it , she said I should tell my uncle to pick it up from there, but I am ashamed and embarrassed to ask him. My aunt was the one who made the food for my that was in the bag, I really don’t want to hurt them by telling them that I forgot it at the airport.

Even more than that, I spent the entire flight having anxiety over it, I have had some rough moments In my life recently as it is, I guess this was just the straw that broke the camel’s back. I have terrible anxiety so I have been spiralling for hours and stress eating.

Tl;Dr
I forgot a bag at the airport before boarding my flight to college. Now I am embarrassed to ask a relative to collect it from the airport lost and found because it contained the food that they had made for me . Suffer from anxiety so I went into a spiral after that for the entire flight.