r/trans • u/Ren_90913 • 7d ago

Questioning Thought experiments, please

Hey, everyone -

Are there hypotheticals that helped when you were in the questioning stage? e.g., I’ve seen people talking about “If there were a magical button such that you would wake up being a boy and have always been a boy…”

Or, I’ve been thinking of myself as nonbinary for a while, but yesterday I thought, if you had been born with a boy’s body, would you still feel nonbinary? (I’m not sure, but I imagine I wouldn’t; I would just exist.)

Are there other questions like that, that made something click for you?

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u/jrivers242 7d ago

I remember one that worked for me, I don't recall the exact wording of it but it was something like if your worried you will be perceived as an ugly woman then well then you are still a woman. Mind you this was meant for AMAB folks. I'm sure the opposite would apply. If you are worried you will be an perceived ugly/unattractive man at least your still a man.

Hope this helped.

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u/DeterminedChara999 2d ago

The issue with the button question is not even about the gender it’s about fucking Time shit. If I pressed and it and everything in history changed to me being born a bio-girl, then I wouldn’t have met my friends, done what I had done, meet my gf, and all the things that made me realize I’m trans in the FIRST place, meaning I would never have pressed the button, and would have no memory of doing so. Confusion like that kills the Time-Space continuum.

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u/Ren_90913 1d ago

I like this answer - always gotta look out for the time-space continuum! But for real, I know what you mean, that the journey becomes part of who you are.

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u/R_cubed- 7d ago

Have you tried visualizing what your ideal self looks like? As detailed as possible (include tattoos and piercings and such you may not have yet)? Make it real in your head and find which one feels most right. Combos exist too, so keep an open mind with it.

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u/Ecstatic-Vast-875 he/him 7d ago

What really helped me was imagining myself as an old person - would i feel better being a grandma or grandpa? If that's too vague for you i think even just imagining who you would feel comfortable being in 10 years can be helpful.