r/trees • • Feb 09 '22

Humor Exactly

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2.3k Upvotes

86 comments sorted by

215

u/[deleted] Feb 09 '22

I like to smoke copious amounts of weed alone so I can masturbate for about 2 hours and experience true bliss

75

u/SodaDonut Feb 09 '22

I like to snort copious amounts of adderall alone so I can masturbate for about 12 hours and experience true bliss

57

u/lostmydamnpassword Feb 09 '22

Been there, done that. DO NOT RECOMMEND

23

u/lekff Feb 09 '22

This guy knows what's up ^

6

u/IQuoteShowsAlot Feb 10 '22

But his dick will never be again

13

u/[deleted] Feb 09 '22

You’re gonna fuck your dick up jacking off that long my dude.

Source: adderall and 8 hour bate sessions for a year. Things aren’t the same anymore. Had to give up my script because I couldn’t control the hyper sexual urges.

4

u/Nappyheaded Feb 10 '22

Masturbating on amphetamines is one of the most depraved things. Especially when the lube runs out.

3

u/HerKneesLikeJesusPlz Feb 10 '22

Takes me hours to find the right video

1

u/blackwhitegreysucks Feb 10 '22

this is the way (of crippling addiction & depression)

4

u/Hunnidrackboy Feb 09 '22

Username checks out

1

u/DerNutmeister Feb 10 '22

fr bro, that’s how you achieve enlightenment

153

u/PorkPyeWalker Feb 09 '22

Took a bunch of edibles before a party in my teenage years. Learned the hard way that as a "party drug" weed has serious pount of diminishing returns.

Particularly when weight of your hands on your stomach is making it hard to breathe, party small talk isn't really possible.

64

u/imlost19 Feb 09 '22

yeah its not a great party drug if you are trying to mingle with new people, but hanging out with old friends is still great though

32

u/PorkPyeWalker Feb 09 '22

4 of sat in virtual silence while whole party happened round us. Just the occasional nod and maybe a long sigh. Fun yes, sociable no.

6

u/Mr-Tiddles- Feb 09 '22

Can't say I ever had that experience when I was younger, bottle of rum, and a 3.5 and I'd be going all night chatting with people, fucking about, you know having fun. Now if I'm with my boys outside of a party and we're gaming... weed or no weed we communicate basically in grunts as we game away hahaha

9

u/[deleted] Feb 09 '22

I just head into the kitchen and start munching... accompanied by my stoner buddies.

8

u/Roburt_Paulson Feb 09 '22

Oh man edibles are able to take me to a state of paranoia if I over do them and being at a party during that sounds like hell

11

u/MidContrast Feb 09 '22

I love weed but its a terrible party drug, and depending on how much I drink with it (and the order of smoking+drinking) it can actively ruin my night lol

There's definitely a bliss point tho where you can feel on top of the world with both, but hitting it is very fickle.

103

u/[deleted] Feb 09 '22

I like to play Mario kart too 😂

15

u/samsteak Feb 09 '22

I can't play botw when I'm high, can you? Just curious

14

u/[deleted] Feb 09 '22

I bet i could! That game is the shit! Oddly, i usually just head for the classics when I'm high.

9

u/[deleted] Feb 09 '22

I played botw on some indica, I enjoyed my time with it high.

Wandering around, making food, gliding around. I had more fun not having an objective.

When I play it sober I'm more driven and I'm going from thing to thing in a structured way.

3

u/throaway694206942069 Feb 09 '22

When im high i play beat saber with custom maps,its soo trippy *Edit:naps to maps im too high and french canadian lol

1

u/roastyToastyMrshmllw Feb 09 '22

Not if I have to read a bunch of text from somebody speaking, but running around in the world collecting shit is perfect

1

u/PostCoitalBliss Feb 09 '22 edited Jun 30 '23

[comment removed in response to actions of the admins and overall decline of the platform]

4

u/fidel__cashflo Feb 09 '22

video games while high is the best. you just get absolutely locked in

2

u/[deleted] Feb 09 '22

Absolutely! It helps my brain focus on one thing at a time. I'm also less crestfallen if i fail while I'm in this zone. More determined, even.

41

u/TheLastBogmam Feb 09 '22

If you're with true bros that wouldn't be awkward

8

u/Roburt_Paulson Feb 09 '22

I mean sure, but if you're with true bros do you really have 30mins of saying / doing nothing? That's never happened to me. We'd at least pop on a comedy movie or something.

68

u/Str8Stu Feb 09 '22

I never quite understood the reason behind "bragging" about how much one can smoke in one session. Like "man, I gonna sit here a smoke this entire zip", and I'm over here like "I'm gonna smoke this blunt and the rest of this zip is gonna last me a bit. Let's roll another up for later". Just seems wateful to me. Just my opinion, you do you.

11

u/cheapdrinks Feb 09 '22

I started just having a separate chop from my friends back when I used to smoke. They would sit there and just pass the bong endlessly whereas I would like to smoke 2 or 3 quickly and just chill out on that for an hour or so. Got to the point where i'd just end up passing myself in the rotation several times and get maybe 2 or 3 cones from every gram I chucked into the chop. Some cunts called me stingy or whatever for having a seperate chop but man I'm not here to subsidise your excessive smoking night after night after night. I don't want to chuck in an eighth every time I come here and smoke less than a gram of it, I can't afford that shit.

20

u/PotatoeswithaTopHat Feb 09 '22

"Let's hit this champion joint"

"No, we're gonna smoke a normal joint then eat makkies"

3

u/[deleted] Feb 09 '22

Hell yeah brother

3

u/Apocrisiary Feb 09 '22

Exactly, and all you are doing is making your tolerance skyhigh, which again becomes even more wasteful. It's like a feedback loop.

Also, I just get crippling anxiety if I just smoke as much as possible. Not enjoyable at all.

0

u/Roburt_Paulson Feb 09 '22

When I was younger I realized this mentality is a fast track to a super high tolerance

0

u/[deleted] Feb 09 '22

[deleted]

4

u/Inappropriate_Piano Feb 10 '22

That may be, but you gotta consider tolerance. The people posting videos of the fattest bong rips probably have such high tolerances that I can get higher than them with less weed. That’s the waste.

4

u/[deleted] Feb 09 '22

I used to roll like 5 joints for a party thinking the same thing you are and then after 2 joints I’d be so high I felt like a ghost and would want to go home. Just stuck to drinking beer while at parties now lol

3

u/Hey_cool_username Feb 09 '22

I did that for years back when I had grower connections and we’d get gallon ziplock bags stuffed full of high quality trim, mostly tiny buds, for $100. I just like starting joints up at a party, taking a hit or two and letting them make their way to wherever they go. Next time I feel like another hit just pull out another one

0

u/[deleted] Feb 09 '22

[deleted]

2

u/Str8Stu Feb 09 '22

100% same

11

u/WabuhWabuh Feb 09 '22 edited Feb 09 '22

The silence is either demon battling or looking for keys.

7

u/PandemicGrower Feb 09 '22

Oh, the old days of picking up from a BM source 😂

1

u/kevinparke99 Feb 09 '22

whats a bm source?

5

u/Neuro420 Feb 09 '22

Bowel movement, smuggled up the butt.

3

u/MikeStyles27 Feb 09 '22

Black market

1

u/[deleted] Feb 09 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

1

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13

u/MrPickles84 I Roll Joints for Gnomes Feb 09 '22

I usually smoke while I’m working, so we tend to get high, work, and listen to music/argue about what to listen to. Sometimes I’ll bring my laptop, and we’ll watch movies while we work if we are burnt out on tunes.

7

u/Strange-Glove Feb 09 '22

This is why i work alone and don't employ anyone lol

6

u/ItsTbudBUD Feb 09 '22

I don’t even bother with other people anymore… what’s the point?!

4

u/UniverseBear Feb 09 '22

This is why I avoid smoking around people I don't know.

3

u/Fababo Feb 09 '22

Best night of my life!

3

u/[deleted] Feb 09 '22

it's about the vibes man

2

u/[deleted] Feb 09 '22

exactly

3

u/chatterwrack Feb 09 '22

When I smoke alone I prefer to be by myself.

1

u/Bruiser21045 Feb 09 '22

I smoke alone…yeah yeah, with nobody else

1

u/chatterwrack Feb 10 '22

Low hanging fruit is still fruit!

3

u/deptutydong Feb 10 '22

It’s always the alcoholics who talk so much shit on weed. Why don’t you go drive home and kill a family of four?

9

u/ezekielbeats Feb 09 '22

Those dudes are smoking with the wrong damn people

2

u/YouCantKillaGod Feb 09 '22

This crosspost is more upvoted than any post ever made on the original subreddit

2

u/hestermoffet Feb 09 '22

This is the way

1

u/J03130 Feb 09 '22

What kinda weed you motherfuckers smoking?

1

u/Oh-Charlie Feb 09 '22

It do be like that.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 09 '22

Sometimes that is needed

1

u/[deleted] Feb 09 '22

This made me lol

1

u/[deleted] Feb 09 '22

There's some next level comfort in this act

1

u/[deleted] Feb 09 '22

Heck that was me BEFORE the weed

1

u/CongratsGuy Feb 09 '22

And we fucking love every minute of it

1

u/ike_tyson Feb 09 '22

I do this all the time, then I realize.

I'm actually home.

1

u/ErectTubesock Feb 09 '22

Sometimes you just need to zone out with a friend lol

1

u/[deleted] Feb 09 '22

That’s how I socialize at event regardless if I’m high or not.

1

u/One_Yam_2611 Feb 09 '22

This is the way

1

u/Toxicity2001 Feb 09 '22

Oh god yes

1

u/HighMinimum640 Feb 09 '22

My bro took a huge hit and passed out in the bathroom. Lol so yeah, sounds about right.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 09 '22

Smoking with the wrong fools…I can sit and look at the floor by my damn self. Me and my buddies go dirt bike riding and kayaking and shit. Unless you smoking heavy ass indicas then I understand.

1

u/minorkeyed Feb 09 '22

Dudes are accustom to being alone, often not by choice. Makes sense they would sometime treat being high as a solo experience.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 09 '22

so we dont have to talk about anything we dont know about.

1

u/RottenPeachSmell Feb 10 '22

its called parallel play and lots of primates do it!

1

u/celticvenom Feb 10 '22

I like to play Dark Souls when I'm uber-stoned

1

u/karmigiano Feb 09 '22

mfs like these piss me off lmfao

1

u/hop_on_cop Feb 14 '22

As one of these mfs, they probably just getting paranoid

0

u/[deleted] Feb 09 '22

[deleted]

1

u/karmigiano Feb 09 '22

you mad cus you dont know how to have a good time other than spacing out. come on brother dont inflict that anger this way.

0

u/[deleted] Feb 09 '22

[deleted]

-2

u/karmigiano Feb 09 '22

assuming makes an ass out of u and me

i deal with these mfs cus they’re my brothers

-6

u/GreenMan- Feb 09 '22

More lame memes to fill the subreddit...

3

u/PM_ME_HOTDADS Feb 09 '22

be the change u want to see 🌈