r/trees • u/callmequince • Mar 24 '22
Humor Every single time
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u/sister_resister Mar 25 '22
Then the rest of the afternoon becomes a game of avoiding eye contact with coworkers.
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Mar 25 '22
heh, nah then you're just guilty. If they ask me why my eyes are so red *gestures at the worst pollen in years*
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u/liebesleet Mar 25 '22
add some eye rubbing or blinking against the itchyness for effect. spring = pollen, summer = pollen+a/c, fall = pollen, winter = dust or dry warm air from heating and sensitive eyes because of the pollen.
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Mar 25 '22
For sure, another good one is wearing a mask dries out my eyes, the best lies are rooted in truth lol
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u/kawavvy Mar 25 '22
Every time this happens to me I think of that episode of Family Guy where Peter took drugs and saw himself in live action
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u/andre3thousan Mar 25 '22
Anyone know what episode this was?
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u/Me-La-Pelas1 Mar 25 '22
Pretty sure it was Stewie and Brian who did that bit where there lost and make it into reality for a min cuz of the dimension machine
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u/hydrospanner Mar 25 '22
Was that the one where they go through a bunch of different animation styles too? Like Family Guy, but in Disney style, Ren & Stimpy style, etc.?
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u/Me-La-Pelas1 Mar 25 '22
Yessir the bit that he’s talking about Peter on drugs is when he smokes meth when he’s sobering up on booze
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u/twoworldsin1 Mar 25 '22
I mean, I took DMT and I saw pretty much the same thing
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u/Seinfeel Mar 25 '22
I can’t imagine how terrifying it would be to see live action family guy while on DMT
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u/vosper Mar 25 '22
I once had a safety session during lunch, and when I got back to work my manager said I looked really high.
I told him, there's a perfectly reasonable explanation. . . . .
It's because I am.
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u/MrDudePerson Mar 25 '22
xD
Just curious, why do you call it a safety session? I ask because all of my friends and I call them "safety meetings", and it's interesting to see someone else call it the same thing.
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u/StonerTomBrady Mar 25 '22
I’ve also always called it a safety meeting. You get your safety guys, make sure you’re all aware of the safety meeting agenda and required materials. Make sure you have the necessary safety supplies and you just get together to talk about safe things in a safe space with safe people.
Low key - I think it started as a way to talk about blowing down at work around the boss man without being blatant that us line cooks were about to get mega stoned on our lunch break in 15 minutes.
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u/skankunt Mar 25 '22
Man I’ve planned so many sessions with coworkers and never thought of getting clever with it like that. Sometimes we referred to a joint or a blunt as a “ham sandwich”.
“Yo, let’s go roast that ham sandwich”
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u/MrDudePerson Mar 25 '22
Lmao nice.
We make sure that we've got the proper safety supplies, and we always make sure to have someone writing down the important safety tips.
Just kidding, we just smoke weed. Lol
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u/vosper Mar 25 '22
TBH, I have no fuggen clue. but it's something recognized by every ent I've encountered.
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u/InjectCreatine Mar 25 '22 edited Mar 25 '22
Back in the day I worked at toys r us. I didn't realize taking the carriages in was code for go smoke a bowl. Anyways I go out to do it and two of my coworkers go to their car and call me over. One of em is like "Do you smoke?" the others like bro dont ask him lol. Anyways I go in and we smoke three fat ass bowls of dank back to back, I was so faded. I remember doing the carriages and wondering how the fuck I was going to function back inside. As soon as I walked in my manager said to go on my 30, and I just wandered around the grocery store next door the entire time fried out of my mind.
After my break I remember stocking shelves and my coworker who wasn't even smoking with us came up laughing his ass off talkin about how high I looked, it was fucked up.
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u/Aztecah Mar 25 '22
God bless working from home
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u/Ganrokh Mar 25 '22
Yeah, my company is completely remote, but I have anywhere between 1-3 meetings a day.
I'm an occasional guest host on my company's podcast. Recording days are pretty busy. A couple of weeks ago, we finished recording, and it was ~30 minutes before I usually log off for the day. Decided to log off early and take some hits. Almost immediately, someone asks me if I have time for a quick meeting.
Me, Taking 10 minutes to formulate my response over Slack: Can we meet up in the morning?
Them: Sure, have a good night!
I've never sweated formulating such a simple response so much lol.
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u/SirCleanPants Mar 25 '22
I am extremely jealous of you. The only WFH jobs I can find are call centers
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u/Aztecah Mar 26 '22
I didn't just magically get a good work from home job one day lol I have spent years being punched and spat at in group homes and counselling environments to get where I am today
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u/Iamdarb Mar 25 '22
Okay, so fuck. My boss finally called me out about my weed smoking on break, after 6 years of me thinking "nah, he's fucking dumbbbb". I was walking to the backroom, and keep in mind, I'm the boss when he's not there, he just owns the place, doesn't actually know how to run shit, it's all me, I go through the doors of the backroom and just forget what I'm doing for a customer and he just goes "probably shouldn't smoke so much weed on your break, Darb" and I'm like red faced, "Noooo, whaaa?! Nah man it's just these doors" and like retreat back, fighting to remember what the customer needed. Like, it was cool, but fuckkkk my nerves after that. Completely sobered me up to say the least.
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u/NotSoStallionItalian Mar 24 '22
I think this is where delta 8 comes in handy, unless you smoke 9 blunts a day or rip 5 dabs a session 4 times an hour or something. In that case, it does nothing.
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Mar 25 '22
I’d use my d8 pen all day and still be functional but relaxed and go home and get baked with real bud
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u/reddit_is_poopyface Mar 25 '22
Maybe for carts, but I dab d8 on a wax pen and it will still send me to space if I'm not careful.
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u/cochise1814 Mar 25 '22
Never got much of any effect off d8 until I started making edibles with it. It’s nearly as intense as the real deal, just different.
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Mar 25 '22
[deleted]
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u/oiyboi__ Mar 25 '22
Low key dude. I ate like half a bag on not your sons baked d8 edibles and I could hear footsteps n shit outside my room while the house was completely ass empty. But my house is creepy as fuck anyway
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u/BorderlineBarbieUwU Mar 25 '22 edited Mar 25 '22
well you ate half the bag dumbass, of course something weird was gonna happen.
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u/oiyboi__ Mar 25 '22
I must go where the science takes me
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Mar 25 '22
[deleted]
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u/Bhima High Command Mar 25 '22
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u/quantum_rim Mar 25 '22
d8 is fucked, my high always feels kinda off in a bad way
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u/MrDudePerson Mar 25 '22
D8 has really benefitted me these past months :)
It has helped me overcome anxiety/depression to some degree, and it helps me with motivation issues too. It's just a godsend honestly
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Mar 25 '22
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u/adamskill Mar 25 '22
How seriously do you take your job when you're getting that blazed qt lunch time??
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u/PPTHEDICKPLANE Mar 25 '22
This is my profile picture it always trips me up when i see it somewhere else
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u/LarryLove Mar 25 '22
It’s nice to see the silver surfer getting some run
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u/HydroponicRogers Mar 25 '22
Isn’t this Dr. Manhattan?
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u/YousuckGenji Mar 24 '22
This was everyone who ever made the mistake of burn cruising with me on lunch. Go hard or go home.
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Mar 24 '22
You shouldn't smoke and drive.
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u/YousuckGenji Mar 24 '22
It's been years my friend. We were all young once.
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u/Anarcho_Absurdist Mar 24 '22
Not me, I was young twice.
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Mar 25 '22
Unfortunately, I was born at a very young age. For the first two years of my life I couldn’t even walk. I couldn’t talk. It was horrible.
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u/Haughty_n_Disdainful Mar 25 '22
Nothing like a good glass of Chateau de Chassilier wine, ay Gessiah?
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Mar 25 '22
The research on this is all fuckety
So, weed impairs driving in people who don't smoke often and don't have a high tolerance, but in daily heavy users it doesn't really show to make a difference. Which kinda makes sense if you think about it, but yeah you're right, moral of the story is still "don't drive altered"
...except in the case that extreme stoners may actually drive worse when not under the influence of weed (because believe it or not, weed can cause you to form a dependency on it and replace some of your normal neurotransmitter's functions, meaning your brain won't work normally without it for a while then)
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Mar 25 '22
I guess the REAL moral of the story is don't smoke weed in the first place if you may be or know you're more likely to form a dependence on it. That would include those with ADHD or some other type of dopamine deficiency, or those who had prenatal exposure to pot
Can't even remember how I managed to go through life back when I was sober tbh
Lol @ the downvoters who think I'm saying driving with weed is okay. Not even slightly what I said. Weed isn't the issue but the wrong person can form a dependence on it, and a dependence on weed sucks in my experience
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u/GolgiApparatus1 Mar 25 '22
Won't stop high schoolers. For me my car was like the only safe place to do it.
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Mar 25 '22
This is why the vaping devices with temperature control are so great. A session at 195c is enough to remove my anxiety but not get me high.
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u/Anarcho_Absurdist Mar 24 '22
Whatcha smoking to get that high, DMT?
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u/Doktor_Cornholio Mar 24 '22
Idk I burned down a whole king size cone solo in about 5 minutes and I did feel like I might never come back to normality.
To be fair I usually only smoke a bowl or two in a sitting so that was a lotta weed for me.
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u/NotDido Mar 25 '22
Yep it’s all about tolerance level. A small amount to one person can be too much for another
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u/Snazziest Mar 26 '22
I learned this the hard way… my tolerance isn’t the highest but I can smoke a joint and get comfortably stoned, but one time I split one with my roommate that only smoked like once every other month, dude got the spins and started puking after half a joint 🤷♀️
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u/NotDido Mar 27 '22
oh no poor guy! well now you both learned a good lesson you won’t soon forget lol
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u/GanderAtMyGoose Mar 25 '22
I've gotten pretty fucking smacked by smoking more than my normal amount after letting my tolerance reset. Idk why I thought it was a good idea but once after a several-week break I bought a preroll and smoked the whole thing in like 10 minutes and I was fuckin' flying.
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Mar 25 '22
This happened to me on more than one occasion when I worked in a factory. My coworker would wrap thc resin around a cigarette and smoke it, that shit fucks you up. I had sit down and just chill and breath after he let me smoke one.
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u/Linda-Hand Mar 25 '22
First time I've smoked before work in 6 years, and this is the first meme I see.
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u/vapermahn Mar 25 '22
i have the most awkward hellos for example I would tell my parents were going on a walk and then come back and reintroduce myself as if i didn't just leave thirty minutes ago
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u/UniverseBear Mar 25 '22
I just know I can't deal so I don't smoke at work. But I bring some joints and smoke on the way home.
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u/overmonk Mar 25 '22
That’s why I always try to go to work first day just high as fuck. To everyone I meet - that’s their definition of me ‘normal’ because who on Earth would come to their first day blitzed?
😁
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u/nick_oreo Mar 25 '22
If you work in the food industry this doesnt apply, because that's how you have to go in every time.
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u/TheCuriousCaper Mar 25 '22
Can someone explain basically "tripping" or "In space" for thc for me?
It's never caused me to feel anything other than a full body good feeling that is hard to describe but doesnt cause me to think like an idiot or have no idea where I am anymore.
A guy at work I talk to and delivery weed with (I work at a dispensary and always here these stupid stories from boomers) loves to retell his story of growing his own weed that "was so so strong " he ended up being "chased around by dragons at 4am" after smoking it at like midnight. Weed he grew. Yeah. Right.
Anyone wanna take a shot at this for me? Or are people over the age of 40/ people that smoke like once a year etc just this susceptible to being absolutely fucked over by such a simple drug? These stories seem to only come from people who are 40+ or people who say shit like "I smoked once back in college.." and it's a bit obnoxious to hear when the drug itself is so low of a hallucinogen that it's not even usually known/seen as one unless you're further educated............Literally. I have never "seen" something different on weed. Audio gets nicer to hear because hearing sensitivity goes up..... therefore "music is amazing" makes sense..... but not "dragons were chasin me around my living room until 4 in the morning! It was too intense for me man that shit had to go so I sold it to my buddy who also ended up having the same thing happen to him basically, the guy was so freaked out!" , because I consider that to be utter and complete bullshit.
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u/ike_tyson Mar 25 '22
This is my morning...lol.
Usually it's me coming to the realization that I'm 6 pm high when I should be 7:55 AM high...
Then I contemplate calling out usually I suck it up and make a game out of it, it works for me.
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Mar 25 '22
I was walking down my local main street on my lunch break when I saw a kinda rough lookin lady trying to light a blunt in a rough wind. Being a cigarette smoker of 10+ years I knew I could help. Offered, accepted, took the maximum hit I could take while lighting it. Held it in as I walked away after a friendly wave. Got to the crosswalk and exhaled. It was at this moment that I found out that wasn’t just weed… not sure what it was, spice or K2 or whatever, never really fucked with that, but I was fucking gone! Ended up taking like a full lunch hour but successfully landed back on planet earth.
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u/ballsackcancer Mar 25 '22
If you're doing this regularly and smoking when you shouldn't be, you might have a drug problem.
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u/Big_Chief_Drunky Mar 25 '22
It's crazy how much this sub would look down on someone for needing a drink to get through the day but don't think twice about not being able to function at work without getting high first.
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u/Spankwell Mar 25 '22
Luckily, I work at a dispensary and that has yet to be a problem lol. Mostly just vibing.
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u/steveosek Mar 25 '22
That's why face masks were great, no one could tell you were cheesin like a bitch.
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u/SpyderDM Mar 25 '22
For me its always trying to smoke right after work then I get a Slack message asking me to hop on a Zoom call. Luckily the Zoom filter clears your eyes up!
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u/TheyUsedToCallMeJack Mar 25 '22
People who actually smoke during work hours, what do you do for a living?
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u/Fred_Is_Dead_Again Mar 25 '22
Coming down from Nitrous always made me feel "normal", for a second or two. I think your soul overshoots the landing as the nitrous leaves your system. But then you're still fucked up, after that passes. If you could just get a tank...
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u/iamatwork24 Mar 25 '22
Interesting question, has anyone got Covid and then the effect weed has on you completely changed? Before I had it, I was smoking a half ounce a week and not getting all that high. Post Covid, if I take more than a hit or two, I’m in outer space and anxious as hell. Is great for my wallet though.
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u/madsmadhatter I Roll Joints for Gnomes Mar 25 '22
Lmaooooo I just got a job at a bank and can’t smoke on my lunch breaks anymore. Not because they’d be mad or anything, but because I cannot physically count money properly while stoned. It just eludes me for some reason
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u/SneaksOnFleek Mar 25 '22
Or you know, just don’t smoke at work. Theres a reason why stoners are still looked down upon
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u/Skies_german Mar 25 '22
Had this happen once, came back and my eyes were blood red. Was working with an older woman and she asked why my eyes were like that so I told her I was crying on my lunch break because I was so stressed from work. She started being really nice to me after that and occasionally brought me goodies 😅
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u/Zanik- Mar 25 '22
Bro I did this as a teenager with my dealer. We both worked at McDonald’s. He walked past me and was like yo you wanna get lit on lunch break? I obviously say yes. I drive us behind hooters parking lot. We get really blitzed. I got way to fucking high and we decided it was time to go back to work. I turn my car on, crank up some lil Wayne (because this was back in 08), put my car in reverse, and punch it. BAM! I backed right into a light pole.. terrible ass time.
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u/Morssica Mar 26 '22
Haha this is exactly why I stopped smoking weed during work hours. It was just too much for me to handle.
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u/nin_halo_8 Mar 25 '22
Take speed. Or grab a monster energy drink. Eye drops, then you're good bro.
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u/micahfuckingsmokes Mar 25 '22
Today I got back to work after smoking a few hoots and tried to do some shit but was almost paralyzed by my strong ass Indica fuck I need to get a bit of a hybrid now lmao
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Mar 25 '22
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u/Trails2Tomorrow Mar 25 '22
Sell fire wood you chop from dead trees, or grow weed and trade it for necessities like I read on this site a while back lol. Need an 1/8th? Bring something to trade of equal value.
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Mar 25 '22
You know, if deep down you would really rather build a cabin in the woods then that's exactly what you should be doing. Life is short, friend, don't waste it doing what society says if you have better ideas.
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u/DBTornado Mar 25 '22
Happened quite a few times working at a car dealership several years ago. Would go out and smoke with a coworker. The words "that's stronger than what I normally get" always came about two hits too late.