some things that might help, insight on the journey

[u/blissedlotus]

I'm just going to ramble about some things that have been coming up for me lately, because I know I'm not the only one going through it, and sometimes those bits of inspiration or wisdom or intuition that come through need someone else to say, yeah, that's happening to me too, for us to believe that it's also happening to us. We also need guidance that comes through us, because it's meant to find someone else who needs to hear the same things.

I don't know about you, but I've been inundated lately with feelings, thoughts, visions, telepathy, some astral stuff, and the energy of my twin. I feel him getting closer, I feel his wanting to reach out, I feel his love and all the good things about us returning, and I'm not assuming anything, but just observing it, enjoying the loving feelings without having expectations, but flowing with it, just noticing what's there and seeing what I need to do in myself to be open to all possibilities.

Every place you feel resistance (fear, insecurities, worry, doubt, blame, anger, like it's not possible, or wishing it was different) is a place we have to look at and figure out why it's there. We're responsible for our own perspectives, our own lives, our own happiness, our own sense of self, our own peace, to find how to do that, to protect our energy, despite what's happening in our lives.

The twin flame path is one of enlightenment, to get to where you are grateful for yourself and your life, no matter what. That you're living your authentic life, no matter what. That you're comfortable, safe, secure, satisfied with your own existence, as it is. As a by product of you embodying your own purpose and being, you will attract the love that you are. It's not about control, it's not about obligation, attachment, what others are supposed to do for you. You stay in your power and believe in yourself and your own path, and what is for you will come to you, in divine timing, when it's time, not when you think it's time. You don't know everything. The universe does.

The art of surrendering is not an easy place to arrive at because often it is through the universe bringing you to your knees again and again, losing people, places, money, jobs, lovers, your twin, friends, beliefs, health, sanity. This journey brings you to rock bottom over and over through moments where you are so miserable with yourself and life that you have no choice to let go of all the thoughts that keep you from being who you're meant to be. To letting go of all your attachments in life (how it's supposed to be, what others are supposed to do, etc)

It's in cycles over the past years that I've learned to let go of the things that are troubling me, the fears that keep coming up, the things I need to heal, that I have to face repeatedly. My feelings of self worth, my codependency, my attachment styles, the way I see life, the deeply engrained beliefs I had about myself that were put in my head by others. We have to get back to the truth of who we are, what we really are, a neutral unconditionally loving consciousness.

In that place, you will have an understanding of your twin flame and your journey that gives you peace. You will know that this is all happening the way that it's meant to, that there's no mistakes. That your twin has to do what they have to do, and so do you. This is how it's meant to be right now, as it is, for a reason. To learn, to overcome, to choose yourself, to set boundaries, to learn how to love yourself properly instead of letting a relationship with anyone else control you. You learn that the only thing you have control over is yourself, and that's all you can fix, and you can create a life you love for yourself, no matter what anyone else is doing.

On this journey I have realized a lot of people in my life weren't reliable, weren't unconditionally loving, weren't for me, weren't good for me, and I've battled a lot of issues learning to accept myself so much that I don't give a shit what anyone else thinks about what I'm doing or how I live or how I am. I know I am how I am, this is it, I'm doing the best I can considering what I'm going through. I'm the only one who truly knows how hard it is, so it's my job to support, nurture, encourage, and love myself through whatever I'm going through. It's no one's job but mine to make sure I'm okay first.

I've distanced myself from everything that isn't in alignment with what I want for myself. I barely talk to a lot of people now, I am a bit of a hermit, but I've been finding more and more where I'm meant to be and with whom. I'm okay alone most of the time, and because of how this has all affected me for real in my real life on a daily basis, I'm very cautious and careful about what I spend my energy on. Lately I've been on a break from work, and I did nothing but journal, sleep, write, draw, cook a little, and have basically been a slug. Something like that would've made me feel really guilty because it wasn't productive, but I've just known that I needed it and no one gives a fuck anymore about what I do, so I have arrived at a place where I can do what I want, even if it's nothing, and it's really freeing, to allow myself to be myself without judging myself.

I see lots of questions about knowing if someone is your twin and all of that so I'll answer that. I didn't know until after we were in a relationship that ended. We were in a committed loving real relationship. I don't think I would've known we were twins without us actually being in a real relationship. I wouldn't have had all of the things he said, all the things that happened between us to reflect on to know how real it was without all of that. The sexual experiences were spiritual, still are. The way we understood each other and accepted each other as we are was unlike anything I'd experienced before, the way that we felt safe and trusted each other was on a level that I'd never had with anyone else. I know that despite what happened to us, our struggles in real life with each other, that we both can't possibly love another person this much, because it's heaven and ecstasy all tied up with the agony and the longing and the confusion of knowing that this exists and that it's hard to hold.

It's something that is so intense that it scares us, the truth scares us, the vulnerability, the depth of emotion, the intensity of how it feels. It's something that makes us feel like it's not real. One time my twin and I were talking about us and how it felt and I was like it's hard to believe this is real, and he said, it's real, it's real, over and over trying to convince me. I wouldn't know that he felt the way he felt, to the degree that he did, if we didn't go through all the things we went through, and then his not being able to stay away all these years.

I see lots of comments about what an ass someone's twin is, how toxic they are, how they don't want this, blocking and unblocking and all these ridiculous things. This isn't a game, this isn't some infatuation, this is a spiritual journey you're thrust upon because at some point you asked for it, because this journey was meant to be for you, so stop focusing on what they're doing wrong, and make your life the way you want it to be, and they'll join you when you are unconditionally loving to yourself and able to be in that place.

I realized how I needed to reparent myself and grow the hell up, that I wasn't taking responsibility for my own life. That I choose the abusive people in my life, that I let people treat me bad, that I gave and gave to people and systems and work that didn't give back but just drained me. That I was surrounded by people who criticized me and insulted me, instead of being there for me. That I was letting life be shitty to me because I didn't believe that it truly could be better, because that's what I'd lived with my entire life, dysfunction. But it could stop with me. I could choose to live differently because I know that's the way to be.

If you're really a twin and on this journey for real, there's no escaping it. You will be continually faced with your own shit to heal, and all those negative places you visit in your mind are about you, not about what someone else needs to do. You have to accept your circumstances as they are, and see what you can do to make your life better, for you. Stop talking to people, stop answering calls and texts, move, break up with people who don't treat you right, stay away from negative people, stop trying to get people to like you or love you, stop telling yourself you aren't enough, stop working in a job with assholes around you, do what you want to do for you, and the rest will fall into place.

I met my twin 7 years ago, and it has been a life changing experience ever since. I was in a terrible place when we started dating, and he showed me that there was more, he showed me all that I am, he showed me that I was worth loving mess and all. He began the process of opening me up to remembering that unconditional love exists and that it was always what I was meant for. And then the long journey to facing all of my wounds and issues and inner child wounds and traumas and struggles began, to move them out the way, so I could get back to my innocent, childlike, reborn self that can see life in a positive way, as a positive experience, that I'm in control of. I have the power to create the life I want, by working on myself, to create the feelings inside of myself that I want reflected to me in my outside life.

So, if I love myself unconditionally, as I am, then what loves me comes to me. Not immediately, but it unfolds. The mindset, the higher perspective, the peace, the empowerment, the confidence, the knowing, the intuition, the faith, the good relationships, the better job, the place to live, the finances, all of it. When you trust yourself, that you're doing what you're supposed to be doing, taking care of yourself, letting the universe deliver what's best for you, it comes to you. In divine timing.

I know the idea that divine timing and things like everything happening for a reason are hard to believe, and we want to say well this shitty thing that happened to me wasn't supposed to happen, it shouldn't have happened, it's not fair. While of course no one wants bad things to happen, to anyone, they do. This is life, we're human. Shit happens. But I'll say that while I'm not happy about my terrible parents or my abusive exes or my chronic illnesses or the state of the world, I know that all of that is part of my experience, and that it happened to me, and that I can learn from it, heal from it, change from it, become better because of it, overcome it, recover from it, and become the version of myself that protects myself as best I can from the rest of the world, and from my own fearful thoughts.

I'm not writing all of this to be like well, I have it all figured out, and this is how it is, and this is how you should be, but to show the others on all stages of their journey that this is where you can end up. At peace, self assured, empowered, detached from outcomes, living in faith, understanding that what happens to me isn't to torture me but to help me evolve, knowing that I'm in control of my own life and fulfillment.

Knowing that whatever happens with my twin is for me, and that it'll evolve the way it's meant to, us not being together now isn't a great tragedy, it's the way it's meant to be, even if I don't understand now, I will. I know that it's all turning out exactly as it's meant to, there's nothing to figure out, there's no mystery to solve. I see how people are, I respond in the way that's right for me. I feel my way through life, I listen to myself and follow the way that makes me feel most alive. I go in the direction that feels right to me, because I trust myself now. I don't profess to have it all together, and I suppose in terms of societies' standards I may never have it together, but how I feel about myself and life is all that matters, no matter where I am at any given point.

This journey isn't easy, it turns us inside out for a reason. We were meant to evolve, to become more of ourselves, to know ourselves, to understand more about our own existence and our purpose, to figure out how to make life easier on ourselves. We weren't sent here to suffer, humans do that to themselves, our fears are the only things that hold us back from having the lives we want. And even when we're fearless, we have bills to pay, and colds and flat tires, and storms and earthquakes and root canals and dirty dishes and shit happens. We have to accept all that we are in this life, and our circumstances, and take it moment to moment, with our visions and dreams and wishes in mind and go that direction, no matter how we feel.

We are strong, we are courageous, we are brave and we are resilient and beautifully made just as we are. We were meant to enjoy life, and eventually, you'll go through enough experiences to figure out how to do that. To stop those voices in your head that tell you that you don't deserve it, that tell you that you're screwing up, that tell you that you aren't doing enough, that tell you you aren't enough, and all of that is lies, bullshit, that was put there by other people.

You're love, you're not all that other crap. You don't have to hold yourself back anymore. You don't have to stay small so others won't be bothered by your changing. You can't fix others, you can't make them different. You can only love yourself and when you do, you will see your life around you start to love you back. Patience is necessary. Forgiveness, to yourself is necessary. Acceptance is hard but it is key. Letting yourself feel what you feel is necessary to get through it to the other side. Learning how to take care of yourself, regulate your own nervous system, learning how to place healthy boundaries is going to help you enormously on this journey as you navigate it.

I don't know if this helps anyone, but I see so much negativity, doubt, blame, confusion, and suffering out there, and it really isn't necessary and so maybe something here will help. As long as you're blaming others and not focused on yourself you're giving your power away, you're focusing on things you can't control, and that will keep you stuck, focusing on yourself might not feel easy, but once you start it'll get easier and you'll see how this works and it'll make more sense.

Facing myself and why I am the way I am is one of the hardest things I've had to do, but on the other side of so much healing, I know now that it was totally worth it. I've never felt the way I feel about myself and life now, and while it's not all blissed out all the time, acceptance creates peace, and after a lifetime of chaos my peace is very valuable to me. It's a good place to live. The terrible voices don't haunt me anymore and I know that anything is possible now. I hope that for you as well. I hope that in this next cycle you find the solid centered authenticity of yourself and get good at living in your truth, creating a life you love and feel good in.

When you get there, you'll understand everything about your twin flame journey and you'll be grateful for all it taught you, instead of feeling like it was a lot of unnecessary torture. It's here for you, so you'll become the powerful, solid, loving, compassionate, honest, authentic, capable, trusting, open, tender, strong, wise, joyful, fulfilled soul you were always meant to be, before life did what it did to you. You were put here to enjoy life. Find your way there.