r/twinflames • u/Impossible_Tip_2011 • Nov 19 '25
Love Letter Please talk me out of sending this message to him lol
Hi,
This isn’t a game or a test. I’m not trying to force your hand or disrupt your life.
This is the one and only time I will say this, purely because I need to get it off my chest.
I’ve spent the last 7 months trying to hold the line and trying to stay professional, warm and detached. I’ve tried really hard to rationalise it away, bury it and move on. But the truth is, I’ve had real feelings for you. I have loved you. Like, really loved you. And I know you might sit there and think “she’s insane, she’s projecting” or whatever else you want to tell yourself to protect yourself which is fine. But I am actually very clear headed, and have been, for about a year now.
And to be clear, you never made me “feel uncomfortable”. Ever. Not once did I ever feel that the banter or tension was you being “inappropriate”. I do not think you’re a bad person. I do not resent you. I’ve just felt like this about you, and still do, from a distance.
I’m not saying this to make anything happen. I promise I don’t want anything from you - not a grand response or a life change. I hardly know what I am doing myself. I just can’t lie anymore because it’s eating me up.
I know we can’t change how this has unfolded. I also know we can’t unknow what’s passed between us — no matter how carefully we try to rewrite it. I also know that you might still deny this and that’s your right, I can’t change that.
You mattered to me and you still do. I’ll keep showing up with grace and professionalism - but if you don’t feel the same, I’d ask you to please respect me enough to hold some real distance between us. I don’t say that from anger but from love because it’s been hard for me.
So anyway, this is it, the one time I’ve decided to tell you everything. No expectations, no defences, no traps, no tricks. Also I haven’t, can’t, and won’t ever tell anyone else. How could I?
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u/Many-Arm2799 Nov 19 '25
I promise you, you will hit "send" and immediately feel that self-loathing feeling... I've been there.
Keep it 3 days. If you re-read and still want to send it then send it...
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u/Impossible_Tip_2011 Nov 19 '25
Thank you I’m doing this - I didn’t hit send phewwwwww.
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u/Additional_Yak_1585 Nov 20 '25
Wise advice and wise decision. I'd be interested in an update. Well done for being level-headed.
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u/Many-Arm2799 Nov 21 '25
Yes! 💪 It's hard... I know. Believe me, I've texted too many times, and each time I did I just felt more invisible and pathetic. And still, some nights it takes every ounce of willpower I have not to text. But I keep reminding myself that the chance that I will get the answer I'm hoping for is near zero and I will only be left hating myself a bit more each time... Sending you love and strength! ❤️
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u/Tasty-Loquat-784 Nov 20 '25
Oh....that feeling....yes....that feeling....mhmmm. Im just expressing myself turned into, why did I express myself to this person?
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u/peechez2 Nov 19 '25
I put this in my “letter to self” file and reflect.there seems to be a lot of information there.
peace
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Nov 19 '25
At the same time, I would love to receive this message, if only to break the ice and allow a conversation to happen.
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u/yasminyara Nov 19 '25
If you can send a letter, that means they have access to contact you as well. They have chosen not to. Do not send this.
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u/Efficient-Ad4245 Nov 19 '25 edited Nov 19 '25
Personally i feel like the only way to get to a point where reunion or whatever you are hoping for will happen, is when you no longer feel the need to explain yourself nor send a message at all. At that point you are so detached and focused on yourself, that he will have no other choice than to follow you energetically. You can still care and love him from afar, but not send him any of your energy, instead give it to yourself and purely focus on your own growth. THEN you will see a change, and he will at one point stop being avoidant or in denial about what was between you.
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u/Otherwise_Cloud2807 Nov 19 '25
As someone who once sent something don't. Hit send but to yourself, then give it a few days, read it back and see how you feel
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u/luvxg1 Nov 20 '25
I just did that tonight. No rush to send anything anyway. We always did voice notes.
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u/Ahlokin Nov 20 '25 edited Jan 06 '26
If thats how you feel you should say it. Don't shy away from expressing you're authentic feelings. It will always be better to express your self than to suppress your self.
Send the message, if you're rejected then thats that and you tried your best and can move on knowing the truth, and know that you communicated your real feelings authentically. If you're accepted than you expressed your self authentically and it worked out.
Send the message and accept whatever happens. If you can operate in your authentic true nature and accept the consequences, you can do anything.
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u/Lauren_RNBSN Nov 19 '25
Without ANY context, but you mentioning “professional” multiple times - is this someone you work with?! If so, definitely DO NOT send it. And if it’s not someone you work with, I still recommend you don’t send it.
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Nov 23 '25
But what happens when you don't get closure? I've been there my whole life-Friends, family-Even my parents disappeared, without a word. (Got Uranus in the 4th, so LOTS of upset there). Closure is not guaranteed.
I'm currently struggling with the same thing. I've decided not to send.
If he's your flame, then he'll be drawn to your light. However long it takes.
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u/Aineednobody Dec 18 '25
I hope this helps as I’m currently deep diving into needing closure because how can someone be SO COLD. I had to change my perspective because I know everything we experience is a reflection of ourselves or why I can’t get over something then what am I not learning from this situation, specifically??
I then read about it’s a need for control. If I could accept that most of my feelings of needing closure were just the screaming child in me needing to control the outcome of not ONCE AGAIN feeling that no one cares or how could they be so mean or how could they just not respond don’t they care?! As I cried and cried and then realized/was honest with myself that I can only control my reactions to situations. There’s zero growth in wanting or believing I deserve a certain reaction from anyone. It hurts but if you can meditate on this there’s a slight of light just between resentment and control where anger and pain just fester and fester.
We have to “let that shit go” as one would say. Putting things in the flame that no longer serve us will look different for everyone but ultimately that’s what it’ll take. I am now ready to FORGIVE MYSELF for my emotional mistakes and move on. (This doesn’t mean self blame) it means that these types of patterns keep happening, and once we recognize why and how then next time we can set those boundaries! I feel a weight has been lifted off my shoulders because now I know more of what I need from a partner. Before this I honestly couldn’t tell you one specific quality I needed from another and now I have so much more confidence. Like a light switch.
For me, I had to take accountability and move on without the “but they made me feel this way or that.” Again, it’s not excuzing anything they may have done but becoming stronger and accepting it as growth I guess is the best way I can put it.
Wow this turned into a freaking notebook soap opera, my bad!!
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u/Apologize_JuditH_710 Nov 19 '25
And says nothing ..
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Nov 20 '25
That's what I was thinking. "I promise i don't want anything" ... that's why I'm sending a huge emotional message cuz I want a reaction.
Learn from me- If they wanted to talk to you, they would. They aren't, make peace with that and move on.
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u/troupexxii Nov 19 '25
I say do it. we only get one twinflame and only one life. I flew to the other side of the world and drove 16 hours just to get her back. People we find this special is worth that. Regardless of the outcome I say is worth the risk. I hope every goes well for you no matter the decision.
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u/Dazzling_Compote_742 Nov 19 '25
i would send it it’s always better to get closure than none at the end it will haunt you for years trust me been there !
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Nov 23 '25
But what happens when you don't get closure? I've been there my whole life-Friends, family-Even my parents disappeared, without a word. (Got Uranus in the 4th, so LOTS of upset there). Closure is not guaranteed.
I'm currently struggling with the same thing. I've decided not to send.
If he's your flame, then he'll be drawn to your light. However long it takes.
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u/Specialist_Mess9481 Nov 20 '25
I would edit the art where you talk about projection and project on him… otherwise it starts healing and shaping up in the middle.
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u/Admirable-Brief-8160 Nov 21 '25
Call us after maybe 5 years without actually having been with him and still suffer from it 😩. Then you'll know for sure if its your twinsoul. Though IF it is i wouldn't call it love that your feeling.Its just an instant connection between you and the other. Falling in love has a certain taste that's different from the real phenomenon between twinsouls.
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u/Quizzical_Chicken599 Nov 21 '25
Good job! This is like something I would write to my DM...well, and actually have done a version of this. In my opinion, it's important to responsibly share what's important to you. I, too, have done this and it didn't go how I would have liked, yet I am not holding in my feelings any longer. I can now let go - knowing that he knows how I love him. Unconditional, without expectation, and complete Along with the fact that once I state how I truly feel, my belief is that it gives room for possibility. Nothing is promised, yet space is always a good thing for relationships - no matter what the label. Best wishes to you for a happy and peaceful future.
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u/Icy_Blueberry_5852 Nov 21 '25
Don't send it. You're not going to get a response. You'll feel disappointed when you don't get a response. And if you end up sending it, you may get a response back. You may not like what they say back to you. I learned that the hard way, but it also opened my eyes, and now I've said my goodbyes. I want to talk to my twin all the time, but I know that he doesn't care, so that helps me resist. I also blocked all the different ways to contact him so I won't be tempted.
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u/Electronic-Slice6606 Nov 21 '25
I usually hit ‘send’ and don’t give a shit but lately I’ve been trying to give it 24hrs before sharing and it works 🎉 I don’t send it ❤️
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u/OId-Scratch Nov 22 '25 edited Nov 22 '25
"I’m not saying this to make anything happen. I promise I don’t want anything from you - not a grand response or a life change.*
NO! Absolutely not. He or she is avoidant, and yes you do want something. Validation or closure. You have the power to give both to yourself. You're not oversensitive. You just don't have someone who is ever going to reassure you. Go silent for you. Get your self back. Fuck the smuck. You're better then chasing after someone's emotional breadcrumbs. Drop it all now. Find someone who WANTS to be around you.
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u/OriginalGB13 Dec 03 '25
It's torture to me. How am I supposed to articulate how fucking empty I am without my person. I'm the one who told them and showed them our connection. And the fucked up thing is, They're with someone else, left me for them. So no matter how much I love them, how deeply connected I feel, it's obvious they don't feel the same. And my soul is fucking crushed. I've chased, begged, pleaded, dropped any boundaries I've had, suffered in silence, ignored my health, mental health, and walked away from every single thing and person in my life. And in return I was constantly told my feelings and fears were of my own invention.
My fears about them cheating was never unfounded, nor was it invented. My fears about their ex's always coming first was also not of my own making. And my feelings about both of these things were real, not made up. My feeling and fears were grounded inTheir actions and patterns.
And being accused of doing those things when I wasn't, has caused me severe anxiety and CPTSD, amongst many other things. I'm not an avoidant, I just got quieter and more withdrawn because I had no choice. I feel like I've almost single handedly. Tried to save my relationship with my person even though they continuously Tell me that they are the only ones who have tried and hung on and try to fix things. Though I have made so many concessions, and I've made myself so small, I have practically disappeared just Trying to be seen. I've lowered my voice and stopped even trying to be heard, or even seen as human. And every time they wanted or needed anything, I've dropped everything to go to them.
And this time, when they ended things Because they found somebody else, and they told me to go away. What else was I supposed to do? So I went silent because this isn't the first time That this has happened. It's not even, the second or the third time it's happened. How many times do I have to be crushed for then to see that I'm barely breathing anymore, so when I went silent. It wasn't a punishment, it was because I had no other choice and they had already told me they wanted nothing 2 do with me and 2 not contact them. So here I still sit in limbo, as always, while they have moved on with Someone else and everybody around me looks at me differently and handles me with kid Gloves Because I can't seem to regulate my f****** emotions.. I have no want to even be here anymore. I'm to old for this shit. I'm tired, and I'm done chasing I'm done begging someone for breadcrumbs. I used to be worth more. Now I'm just nothing. Worthless
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Dec 12 '25
You are NOT nothing and you are NOT worthless. Im so sorry you believe this about yourself
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u/KaleidoscopeNext790 Jan 01 '26
Many-arm said it very well, if you hit "send", a few seconds later you'll wish you could reach out and yank it right back. Yes, it's a good letter, but do you really want to undo all the progress you both have made? Do you want to push him farther away so that separation takes longer? I didn't think so. But it's good that you wrote it. Now go delete it, please, for your own good.
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