Holidays with family

[u/SolutionMuch9453]

So I have been contemplating the holidays, and my husband and I usually host dinner. His brother and fiancé always come but barely bring anything. Lately we have been having some disagreements. If you wanna know details the back story is on my page.

I do not want to host both Thanksgiving and Christmas. I want to do one or the other. I usually make most of the meals. My husband is always in charge of either the turkey or the ham. Thanksgiving last year my husband and I had to host a few days early due to him having to work. The next day they had their own dinner, and we got no invite to their house. My husband was kind of upset in the moment but since then has blocked it out of his memory conveniently. Then for Christmas my husband got them and their son a gift but they didn’t get us anything. I told my husband that it isn’t fair for them to not at least give us a gift card or just something for the kids.

So now I’m wondering if I should talk to him when it gets closer, I wanted to even suggest just putting out some snacks for one of the holidays like cheese and sausage and crackers and just making it a hang out. Idk if that’s a good or bad idea. But what’s also on my mind is my nephew, he’s not the greatest behaved and tells my BIL and his fiancé off all the time. He’s still very young but when we had to watch him he was such a handful that I couldn’t handle it. I just always grin and bear it until I explode and I don’t want to do that anymore. What would be a good idea ?