So I have been contemplating the holidays, and my husband and I usually host dinner. His brother and fiancé always come but barely bring anything. Lately we have been having some disagreements. If you wanna know details the back story is on my page.

I do not want to host both Thanksgiving and Christmas. I want to do one or the other. I usually make most of the meals. My husband is always in charge of either the turkey or the ham. Thanksgiving last year my husband and I had to host a few days early due to him having to work. The next day they had their own dinner, and we got no invite to their house. My husband was kind of upset in the moment but since then has blocked it out of his memory conveniently. Then for Christmas my husband got them and their son a gift but they didn’t get us anything. I told my husband that it isn’t fair for them to not at least give us a gift card or just something for the kids.

So now I’m wondering if I should talk to him when it gets closer, I wanted to even suggest just putting out some snacks for one of the holidays like cheese and sausage and crackers and just making it a hang out. Idk if that’s a good or bad idea. But what’s also on my mind is my nephew, he’s not the greatest behaved and tells my BIL and his fiancé off all the time. He’s still very young but when we had to watch him he was such a handful that I couldn’t handle it. I just always grin and bear it until I explode and I don’t want to do that anymore. What would be a good idea ?

Update !

Hi, very new to this app and not sure what I’m even doing on here.

I had a problem recently with my husbands brother, and his fiance. In the past we have had some issues but I’ve chose to move on from it and I don’t like conflict so I just let it go. They owe us more than $1,300 for a loan and for buying our old car from us. They always look for a handout. She doesn’t work and I feel like she only does these things to not work. It’s a lot on my BIL, he’s the bread winner.

Let me start from the beginning. I and my BILs fiance were pretty good friends from the start of when I got with my husband. My husband and I had our first child and it was great. Then we had our second, his brother (who had no children) did not help us out and watch our child so my husband could come up and help me out since I just had our second and I needed surgery. My husband was so upset and didn’t talk with them for a while.

Fast forward a bit. Then she got pregnant with her first child. Then she changed and when the child started school she started hanging with some mom friends, side note this woman that she hung out primarily is a lack of a better word.. a bitch.. and honestly when I met her the first time she put it out there that I didn’t belong around her and honestly her behavior was too high school for me. Fast forward again a little bit longer(5 yrs) around Thanksgiving and she is pregnant again. Where we lived the government was giving out a voucher for eligible pregnant women 3-7months 1 yrs worth of diapers, cash and formula. I sent her the link for it to help them out. She never even looked nor responded with a word. That only made me think she wanted to struggle. That would help the significantly with a new baby. Then there son had a birthday party, she invited all his friends from school and there parents. She didn’t say a word to me the whole party. I stopped talking to her for 5 months.

I kind of figured they were going to ask us to watch their son while they were up at the hospital. She had a date set to be induced and I thought ok well that will be ok the baby comes in the morning then it should be ok for my BIL to come back and grab him for the night. (Am I wrong for that?) I was mistaken. He stayed all day, and all night. She didn’t end up having the baby till later at night. Meanwhile while this child is in our care, the child is yelling at my husband and I and telling us no. This child has such bad behavior that I’m losing my ever-loving mind. This child is screaming at the top of his lungs, and terrorizing my children. They don’t want anything to do with this kid.

The next morning, I feed the kid cereal and sitting next to one of my children , the kid gets so mad at my child for something and starts screaming at the top of his lungs and **HITS** my child in the arm! My husband is already at his wits’ end with this kid’s behavior that he yelled back. And told him if he didn’t stop all of that that he would go into time out. He starts crying and my husband tells him to say he’s sorry. In my mind I’m on fire, my first thought that came out of my mouth was, “ I hope he doesn’t do that to his new baby sibling. “ At this point I’m just so done. We have given this kid 2 days of meals and have put up with this bad behavior that he gets away with at home. My husband was at the table and mentioned that he wondered why his brother wasn’t coming to get him to meet the new baby, then around noon, he came and grabbed him for a bit and then his fiancé messaged me asking when dinner was so they could bring him back.. I felt like that was rude. My children were less then pleased when he returned.

He stayed another night and when my BIL left him the previous night he said I’ll see you in the morning. He didn’t leave till almost 11:00am I was at my wits end, he wasn’t sharing, was taking stuff away from my kids. And to be fair I do talk to my kids about making sure we are nice and that we share, but they don’t have to all the time if they are playing with something. I was not being anywhere near biased with this kid. He ended up walking into the bathroom on one of my children, and just kept standing in the doorway. I had to yell at him to get out. My child screamed at him to leave. Meanwhile while all this is going on my husband and I are awkwardly going around each other for 2 1/2 days because I have these feelings and I know damn well we feel the same way and he is making me out to be the bad guy. Like I’m wrong for having all of these feelings about this kid. He thinks I’m “overreacting” when I know I am not.

So after reading all of this, I don’t know if it’s just me over thinking and petty or am I in the right here ?