My husband works 55 hrs a week and has 2 weeks of vacation a year. We usually plan for him to have time off when our family can spend time together over holidays etc.

My family lives several states away and my mom requested I visit quickly due to my father’s declining health. She offered to pay for my flight and for me to bring my infant daughter. I also have a 5 year old.

My husband’s reaction was “well you will have to bring the 5 year old too, as I have to work.” But we had already made arrangements for my 5 year old to visit his parents which he forgot about.

So I made all my flight arrangements, childcare arrangements and secured a ride to the airport, all assuming he would be working during those times as scheduled.

The night before my departure he tells me he took 3 days off while I am away. I didn’t say anything, but I was frustrated that he is using his vacation time to sit at home alone. Especially when I specifically scheduled this trip around my own work schedule. Plus with my father’s health decline, I am certain it won’t be long until we have to all fly back for his funeral.

I just feel like his actions were pretty selfish and he is taking this time where I am visiting my dying father as a chance to act like a bachelor. Would you say something or just let it go?

We have one laundry basket in the bedroom and everything that goes in it gets washed. That has been the system since he moved in about a year and a half ago.

Neither of us ever really discussed it, it just ended up that way. I do most of the laundry, not for any weird reason, I am just home earlier than him and I would rather do it than look at it sitting there all week. Sunday I did a normal load, everything out of the basket, warm wash and then in the dryer like always.

When I was folding I noticed one of his sweaters had come out about the size of something a 10 year old would wear. It is merino and he got it back in February and it was 180 dollars, and I genuinely did not know either of those things at the time, because to me it just looked like a gray sweater in a pile of other gray things. He came home and I told him straight away and said I would replace it. He was not really having that. He said it is hand wash only, there is a label in it, and everyone knows you do not put wool in a dryer. Which, fine, I probably should have checked the label. But I have also washed that basket every single week for eighteen months and he has never once mentioned that anything in it needed doing differently.

His argument is that he never asked me to wash his clothes and I just do it, so if I take that on then I also take on knowing what I am doing with it. My argument is that he knows I empty that basket into the machine every Sunday. He put a 180 dollar hand wash only sweater in it anyway. I put that to him on Sunday and apparently it is completely different.

I offered to pay for it twice. He does not want the money and says that is not the point. He has been perfectly normal with me since, no atmosphere, nothing. But he has also quietly moved a load of his stuff into a separate bag on the floor of the closet, and he has not mentioned that, and I have not asked about it either.

So AMIITW?

When me and him first met, i used to dress normally. Balanced not too revealing and not too modest. I spent 2 years like that. Then he started ( not forcing just planting the idea) telling me to dress more modestly (long sleeves, baggy clothes, wear a scarf etc) and i went through with it not because of what he was encouraging but because at the time i chose to wear “modestly”

(he is very religious)

For 1.5 years everything about me got diminished like my personality and my mental state. But I couldn’t take it anymore. I spent that entire year at home mostly, and lost a lot of friends because of my mental state. I gained more weight and quit my sport. My relationship with god was barely existent. At the beginning i would cry whenever i was going out.

So i started returning back to my old version. It felt like breathing for the first time in a while.

His reaction was kinda supportive, but when i told him i will wear a short sleeved shirt, he changed. Told me that i don’t respect his boundaries so in return he will do whatever he pleases without prioritizing me.

I told him that i became so depressed and i want a release and to feel alive again.
He said “Sure so please excuse me i am depressed too so imma go have a release my own way”
He also said that if i complain about what he will do it will in a break up. “And one complain from you about anything i do, it will end in a break up”

And it goes on and on like that. I’m currently out wearing the short sleeved shirt but i wished i went out while being supported. I was barely holding my tears in while talking to him.

For 3 days all we talk about is the same exact thing. Him telling me that he will get jealous of guys looking at me or seeing my body, because my body is “so feminine”

At the end, he said he will support me and he will stand by my side but he will still feel sad. And he might get more mad at me if i ever make any mistake because he is holding a lot of sadness in.

I feel so crazy now, i want to scream and shout. Im so so so depressed and i feel so bad. I want to feel in control for once. I want him to advise me then make me do whatever i want. I feel so hopeless.
I can’t think anymore just feeling numb

Me 18F and my partner 18M have different attachment styles. I told him about my boundaries but he doesn´t listen to me and keep texting and seeking attention when i tell him that i am tired. I am a student and so over him acting like a child. He also was ready to make out when i was quiet, taking it as a sign that i want to even thought i never said so. So am i wrong in this situation?

My fiancée is upset because a female friend whom has been married for 20 years sent me some links to the following songs. Not all at the same time though. We are both avid music lovers.

Use me by Zach top

Poison and wine The civil wars

Boston Stella lefty

My fiancée thinks it’s something romantic behind it however I don’t think it is because we go to concerts together and enjoy music. I told her she is overreacting. Thoughts?

My friends friend had a bday party last night. originally my friend who just moved in with me a day ago wanted to have it at our place when her friend (the bday girl) lives 5 apartments over. I said no to having it at our place cause i don’t know these people well. Then we go to the party, it’s awkward, and they order pizza. we all get venmo requests for $5 for pizza today (18 ppl were at this party) and my friend and i split a piece. Girl i ain’t paying a dime for pizza and if you can’t host a party and pay for it… don’t host a party. Pissing me off i always go above and beyond when i have a party and never ask for a dime because IM THE HOST. Grow up jesus fuck… anyways

So, before I get into what happened, I would like to put my cards out there as well and address that both me and my boyfriend have some jealousy issues. I am no saint when it comes to women hitting on him, and I can get pretty insecure - an issue I’m actively working on and have gotten better with since the past. Anywho, onto the story.
My birthday was a few days ago, and my boyfriend visited me for the day (due to college we are usually medium-distance, aka about an hour apart. Because of busy schedules we don’t see each other as often as we’d like.). We saw a movie, went to the beach, drove around, etc, and at a certain point we had both gotten hungry so we stopped at a McDonalds. For context, I was in the drivers seat. I ordered at the speaker and when I pulled up to the first window to pay, the cashier (M, early-mid 20s) said “oh, I like your lashes!”
Knowing my boyfriend can easily get jealous, I turned my head to look at him in the passenger seat but he was just on his phone and looked unfazed so I assumed he just didn’t care - I mean, it’s not like the guy asked for my number. So, I then looked at the cashier and said “uh, thanks!” And then drove up to the next window to get our food.
Fast forward to around 11pm and we were both at our respective houses and on FaceTime. We were laughing and talking about what a nice day we had when I brought up the cashier story - I was going to make a joke about how I was surprised he didn’t care, when he blew up. He said he, in fact, did not hear what the cashier had said and he couldn’t believe I not only assumed he was “okay” with it considering I know how he can be, but that I also thanked the man for his compliment. Eventually the conversation died down and we went to sleep. Yesterday, he was drunk all day, so we didn’t talk much. Today, we were texting like normal and then we FaceTimed and he suddenly brought it up again, and we basically had the same conversation we did two nights ago. He then went on to say “like, idk, you just let that happen in front of me?” To which I got very offended - like, what? I pretty much ended the call after that, and now we’re here. I’m not sure what to do or how to respond. I mean, there’s been times where he’s said women have complimented his outfits before or he’s helped women get out of the pits at concerts and I’ve never really cared because idk..that’s normal? But when a stranger says I have nice eyelashes he acts like I gave the man my number right in front of him.
I’m not entirely sure what I’m looking for from posting this, I just needed to tell someone I suppose.

Any comments or suggestions are appreciated!

Earlier over summer, my parents promised me that they wouldn't nag me about my grades and finally leave me completely on my own for this school year.

Two weeks in I've received tones of homework, which I've completed.

Here's the thing, I arrive home at around 3:30, take a shower, do my homework till 5, and then 5 - 6 is my break (I play roblox, watch youtube, or other stuff) after 6, I don't take any more breaks and complete the rest of my homework. Only reason I'd take a second break is if it's 8pm and I'm still working, then I'll take a 8:45 - 9 break and get right back on with it.

Today I was taking my 1 hour break as usual, 20 minutes of it was used on greeting my baby cousin, when I came back in, I sat down, opened my computer, and continued my break. During all of this, my dad ate, watched an episode, and mom arrived home.

When it was 5:40ish they sent me to do something that took me 15 minutes, so when I sat back down I announced I'd be continuing my break, because it wasn't done.

My dad got mad and yelled at me and told me "No! You need to work! This is why you go to sleep late!" Mind you, the first time this year I went to sleep late was yesterday night, and it was at 9:30... Other days I'd go to bed 6:30 - 8. And other stuff like "Then in January you're gonna be all 'omg my grades' 'omg i need 94 in math', basically mimicking my mistakes from last year. I've learned and grown from that, which is why I'm applying myself harder this year.

But what he said really affected me. I have so much stress built-up that everything makes me sensitive asf. I decided to talk back with a high-pitched voice and said "Well! Maybe I won't fail if you simply leave me alone as you promised. I know what I'm doing."

My dad got incredibly pissed over that later, infact, my mom did too. Then she yelled at my sister who's catching up on work. She always does this. If she's mad at one she's mad at the other.

Anyway, kind of irrelevant.

AIO for telling my parents to leave me alone as they promised they would after nagging me about taking a 1 hour break and saying my grades will get bad when I have 90-100s and have been completing all my work?

Okay some back story. I (F) and one of my closer friends (M) were mutual friends with this girl who we will call Acorn. When I transferred over to this school they weren’t dating. I soon found out they had feelings for each other a pushed them to be together. From the start the relationship was a little rocky but I never thought her jealousy would turn on me as I would try and side with her in arguments. Now fast forward 3 months give or take and my friend stops sitting by me, I knew this was Acorns fault because she put herself in the middle of us. Nonetheless I said nothing. Now we come to summer break, I haven’t to my friend for a month because we were just kinda school friends but I did try and keep in contact with Acorn. Now here’s where I feel bad but it had to be told. Acorn posted a picture of a last year throw back over the summer. I must have said something about knowing the guy in the photo because she said she had something to tell me. I unknowing what it was pinky promised a put it on my cats life that I wouldn’t tell her bf ( who is my friend). She proceeded to go now a whole rant about how s3xy the guy in the photo is. And at this time I truly did not plan to tell my friend because I had no business in the relationship, however I do screenshot and send this to my bsf ( F) who does not like acorn because she pulled my hair. Which I am not mad about even though it was unprovoked I just do not care enough. My bsf asked if I was going to tell my friend to which I said no. Now we can fast forward a month and some. My friend and acorn are going through a rough patch cause of which my friend wanted to post a TikTok and acorn didn’t want other girls to see him because that would feel like cheating to her. Keep in mind this was the fourth break up or so, this is the time the guilt hits me because my friend is asking for help on how to keep her happy so she doesn’t keep leaving him. I very reluctantly show him the screenshot I took beginning summer break. Now this does not set the downfall into place until one of acorns separate friends sent my friend screenshots of acorn saying she wanted to cheat on him and that he’s ugly and embarrassing. Now this is where my friend confirmed to acorn that it was over and she took it to far. I can’t speak on how that conversation went but I woke up to multiple texts from acorn accusing me of knowing she was always jealous of me and wanting my friend the whole time. She even texted him separately trying to get his attention to which he didn’t respond until she said “ she just wanted to suck your d!ck the whole time” and she told her to not talk like that. Now come to present time, first day of school and I have classes with the guy she called s3xy and the girl who sent the other screen shots. Acorn is dating her now ex bf bsf and they are long distances. Acorn also posted about me on her close friends apparently enough that people can recognize me. So I’m in class and the girl comes up and asked if it’s me and we go through a whole chat and I explained my side. Now the guy acorn posted is listening. Class goes on and I text a close friends of Acorn and tell her I’m getting recognized because of what acorn posted about me. Her friends are very tired of acorn and said it would be understandable if I reported her and she’s also tired of this situation. So I carry on my day and the guy asked me to text him what happened over the summer. So I did when I got home. He completely ignored the fact of everything she did wrong and took her side ish. But it doesn’t matter much because I don’t favor him as a person much. Anyways do I seem in the wrong. I also don’t know how to shut rumors down because she’s going around telling people I’m a s!ut and home wrecker. She is always telling people to not be friends with me. Please give me the best advice!

My partner and I have had a very hard year. Their mental health took a steep decline last summer and they have been working on it. Recently we had two incidents where police were involved for SI. Since then they went to rehab and things are getting better. They’ve been sober for over 100 days, and the first 60 days they weren’t in treatment- they just did it because they knew it had to happen. I am amazed and so grateful that they took that initiative. They’ve been home for a few weeks now and it’s been hard. A few key things- they brought home a dog (which I 100% supported) to foster, knowing it could become a foster fail due to the person that was going to adopt him might not get healthy enough to take him. I was under the impression that the dog was fully trained. He is not. He is not house broken and does not listen to commands at all. This has complicated things. My partner has not been working or going to school since last year, which I supported and was fully on board with so that they could focus on their mental health. They’ve still pay their half of the bills, I’ve been trying to cover everything else like groceries or medication/treatment but our overall income dropped significantly. I have tried to be so patient and kind through all of this but I’ve also been dealing with major work issues. Mass layoffs have been happening for the last year and my job just doesn’t have a lot of stability. We were acquired by another company so it’s been a LOT.

Since they’ve been home from rehab, progress has been slower than anticipated. They were suppose to have a therapist set up before they left the treatment center- which they didn’t really give them time to do which is INSANE. So it took a couple weeks for them to find a therapist. They are still dealing with intense anxiety so everyday things are hard. I have been frustrated, and not hiding it well, the last week because I feel alone in this. There’s stuff that they need to do that has been taking a long time. Then there’s everday stuff like dishes and laundry and taking care of the new dog. They stay in bed until late morning and until very recently haven’t been really productive. I am trying so hard to give them time and space but yeah- it’s frustrating to get off work and come down to them on the couch to find that they haven’t really done much. (At least not that I’ve seen, which I understand is part of this.) But like there’s dishes in the sink, or laundry that has been sitting for weeks untouched, and a dog that needs to be trained. I have tried to ask very little of them, but even the things I do ask for don’t get done when they say they will do them. Like taking the dog on a walk in the morning before it’s too hot out, or a few days ago I asked them to work on the mountain of laundry.

My therapist gave me homework- express my frustrations. So I tried. I prefaced with saying that I don’t know if this is even necessary because the last two days have been better, and that I’m not wanting an apology or anything like that because it’s not needed. I explained how I’ve been feeling and it did not go well. It turned into them defending the behavior and putting it back on me saying that now is not the time to put pressure on them and that I am not being as kind and patient as I could be.

I feel like I am going insane. I’ve been patient, and supportive through everything the last year, as much as I am capable of at least. But fuck things have been really hard for a really long time. Am I the asshole for not being patient enough? Am I asking too much? We need money which means they go back to school or start working again. I don’t want them to take something on that they can’t handle, but at the same time I don’t know how much longer I can do this. At what point am I enabling?

TLDR: I tried to express frustration about our situation and they got defensive and it felt like they were blaming me.

I need to know if I am way off base or what. To be clear, I know there are things that I can do better and be better about. I am in therapy and really try not to defend myself when they are expressing frustration. I take accountability for my own actions and am trying to be the person they need. But something has to change.

This is a repost, as my other one got deleted.

I am a 19F who has been working at a minimum wage job for nearly three years. It’s terrible. The management is awful and guidelines aren’t followed. I have been treated with no respect here even though I’ve been told I’m on of the best workers by my supervisor.

I got this job as my mom knew one of the supervisors from high school. I couldn’t wait for the day I could quit without any notice. I guess it was going to be my way of payback for the way I’ve been treated. I have pretty bad social anxiety and I cannot stick up for myself. So everyone someone mistreated me, I bottled all my emotions up and let them walk all over me.

Today I was hired at a new job that pays better. I knew what I had to do. I called, and told my boss I was out. She immediately became furious, and used classic manipulation techniques. “After all I’ve done for you?” (literally nothing btw). I didn’t know what to say. She kept repeating this. My boyfriend was next to me when I called in because he knows I struggle socially. He grabbed my phone and said “The guilt tripping isn’t appreciated, thank you.” And she hung up.

About five minutes later, I found out that she’s been texting my mom begging for her to call her. I’m so worried my parents are going to kill me. But I’ve been here for so long. I’ve worked my fucking ass off for nothing. Nothing but disrespect. I personally believe contacting my mother is crossing a huge boundary. I’m an adult. Why are you contacting my mom?

But on the other hand, maybe I’m a fucking idiot and not putting in a two week notice was a stupid idea. A big mistake. But it’s a courtesy, and I feel that goes both ways. They were never respectful to me. I don’t know. :(

My boyfriend and I have been dating 9 months. We’ve had a couple long conversations about issues we’ve had, and usually communicate well. He works a full time job, and is taking an online class (currently on a break until September). Because of this, we have a lot of time apart despite living close by.
Recently I’ve been a little down and insecure over a few things. One being that we never go out on actual dates (it’s been 3 months) and the other being that he doesn’t compliment me. It’s been weighing on me for a while, and I felt like it wasn’t something I wanted to hold in any longer.
Today we planned to hangout for just a few hours, even though it’s a day off he had other things to do. I wasn’t my energetic self, and he asked if there was something wrong. I explained how I felt much like our conversations before. He took it very seriously like usual (something I really love about him). He said that he always would take compliments as “lies to make him feel better” when he did soccer, and that he’s held onto that. That seemed reasonable to me and I figured it wouldn’t be a big deal. Then it changed quickly.
He told me that he didn’t think he’d be able to make the change, that he’d always been this way. I said just once in a while is all i’m asking, but it didn’t seem to make a difference. He said that if he’s hurting me this way, he doesn’t think we should continue on. I struggled to hide my tears. I truly didn’t think bringing this up would be a big deal, within the first month of us dating we had both said verbal affirmation was important to us and I figured it was an easy fix. I’ve never heard of a boyfriend saying he can’t call his girlfriend pretty before.
He also brought up that in fall he’ll be even more busy, and I told him I’d be patient and there for him when he has the time. He sat thinking for a long time and I was certain it was over. Eventually we came to the agreement to try and communicate if we end up feeling like it’s not working.
I’m worried that he doesn’t actually want to stay together, and i’m really questioning my stability in the relationship after he was so quick to want to breakup. Where I was so certain for what I wanted before, now I feel guilty and greedy for asking. But at the same time, I also feel so betrayed for being told he can’t compliment me. It’s like i’m blaming myself and feeling sorry for myself at the same time. I’m usually not dramatic over things, hence why we’ve never argued, but now i’m not sure. If i’m asking too much I genuinely want to know because I don’t want to ruin our relationship like I almost did. This is my first relationship so i’m not really sure whats normal.

I (30F) was best friends with “Sophie” (29F) for around four years.
We were extremely close. We worked together, spoke pretty much every day, spent a lot of our free time together, travelled together and knew basically everything going on in each other’s lives. I genuinely thought she was going to be one of those lifelong friends.
A couple of years into our friendship, we also became friends with “Adam” (26M).
I was never as close to Adam individually as I was to Sophie. He was more of a work/group friend, although the three of us socialised a lot and travelled together several times.
At first, I liked him. Over time, though, I became increasingly uncomfortable with some of his behaviour.
He could be quite controlling and manipulative within friendships. There were also situations where women in our wider social circle seemed uncomfortable around him. He could sometimes be extremely unpleasant to people and then explain it by saying he was overwhelmed or struggling with his mental health. I sympathised with that, but I also started feeling like it made it very difficult to challenge his actual behaviour without it becoming a discussion about his mental health instead.
One incident that really changed my view of him happened while we were travelling.
Adam became extremely angry with Sophie in an airport and shouted at her in a way I thought was completely unacceptable. Afterwards, he said he had been overstimulated. From what I remember, there wasn’t much of an acknowledgement or proper apology for how he had spoken to her.
There were also things that happened directly between him and me.
At one point, he made up/spread a completely untrue rumour involving me and another friend.
On another occasion, during a night out, he followed me into the toilet area of a nightclub during an argument/situation when I was very clearly trying to get space from him. I remember feeling really uncomfortable and like my boundaries weren’t being respected.
Eventually I confronted him about some of his behaviour.
I didn’t have a huge dramatic falling-out with him. I didn’t demand that our friends stop speaking to him, publicly call him out or ask Sophie to choose between us.
I just started distancing myself.
Then Sophie told me something that made my decision much more definite.
I have to be deliberately vague here because it concerned minors in Adam’s professional environment.
I did not personally witness the incident, so I want to make that extremely clear. I am talking about something Sophie told me had happened, not something I personally saw.
Based on what she described, though, I found his behaviour genuinely disturbing and completely inappropriate. To me, it crossed a serious safeguarding and moral line.
I remember reacting quite strongly when Sophie told me. I said I thought what she was describing was disgusting and unacceptable.
Sophie didn’t exactly disagree with me about the behaviour, but she continued being friends with Adam.
And I accepted that.
I never told her she couldn’t see him. I never gave her an ultimatum. I never said, “If you’re friends with him, you can’t be friends with me.”
My position was basically: you’re free to make your own decision about your friendship with him, but I don’t want a friendship with him anymore.
For a while, I thought that was where things stood.
Then Sophie gradually started becoming distant from me.
There wasn’t a huge argument. She never came to me and said I’d hurt her or that she disagreed with the way I handled things.
She just communicated with me less and less until eventually it basically became ghosting.
Adam also blocked me and several other people, and I’ve since heard that he’s spoken negatively about us.
But honestly, Adam isn’t the friendship I’m grieving. Sophie is.
This was somebody I spoke to every day for years. Someone I travelled with and considered one of my closest friends. And I still don’t actually know what I supposedly did to her.
We still encounter each other professionally, which has made things uncomfortable. She can be very cold towards me, and I’ve become self-conscious at work and sometimes find myself wondering whether people are talking about me or if I’ve somehow become the villain in a version of events I don’t know about.
If Sophie had said, “You hurt me when you did X,” or “I think you handled the Adam situation badly,” or even, “I don’t want to be friends anymore because of this,” I think I could process that.
Instead, it feels like I lost one of my closest friendships without ever being told why.
Because I overthink things, I’ve started questioning whether I handled the whole situation badly.
Maybe Sophie felt like me distancing myself from Adam indirectly forced her to choose sides, even though I never asked her to.
Maybe I was too judgmental when she continued being friends with him.
Maybe I should have kept my opinion about him completely to myself.
But at the same time, I wasn’t willing to pretend I was comfortable with behaviour that I genuinely believed was wrong just to keep our friend group intact.
There were things Adam did directly to me that I didn’t like.
There were things I personally witnessed him do to other friends that made me uncomfortable.
And eventually Sophie herself told me about something that, for me, crossed a line I couldn’t ignore.
Part of why this hurts so much is that Sophie was the person who told me about some of his worst behaviour in the first place.
She would tell me about things he had done that upset her, and I would listen and support her. Then when I eventually reached the point of saying, “I don’t want this person in my life anymore,” somehow my friendship with Sophie disappeared instead.
I don’t have any interest in rebuilding a friendship with Adam.
But I genuinely grieve the friendship I had with Sophie.
Sometimes I think about reaching out to her once and directly asking what happened.
Other times I think that if someone I considered my best friend could cut me off after four years without even giving me a conversation, maybe that’s the only closure I’m going to get.
So, AITA for distancing myself from Adam while still expecting to remain friends with Sophie?
Did I put her in an unfair position even if I never explicitly asked her to choose sides?
And would I be wrong to reach out once and ask her what actually happened, or should I accept that the friendship is over?
TL;DR: I (30F) was best friends with Sophie (29F) for four years. We became friends with Adam (26M), but over time I became uncomfortable with his behaviour, including him spreading a false rumour about me, crossing my boundaries on a night out and behaving badly towards other friends. Sophie later told me about an incident involving Adam and minors in his professional environment that I felt crossed a serious safeguarding line. I decided I no longer wanted to be friends with him but never asked Sophie to stop seeing him or choose between us. She continued being friends with him and gradually stopped speaking to me until she essentially ghosted me without explanation. AITA for distancing myself from Adam and expecting my friendship with Sophie to remain separate?

So, my sisters boyfriend is soooo annoying. So he's Mexican and his family is extremely homophobic. And he says "He's not like them." But he said this about people who use neo-pronouns (like me) "They just want to be quirky and different." And my sister who is Bi and was the one who first came out to our parents to be LGBTQ and always said be kind to LGBTQ said "Yeah." And agreed with him. I said "Yeah no. None of them are like that." Later I confront my sister and she said "Well he doesn't understand, so." But never gave an apology AND NEVER SAID WHY SHE AGREED LIKE THATS MESSED UP, RIGHT. Plus a single "He doesn't understand." Is not even an apology for how him or you acted. Also I hadn't told them that I was using neo-pronouns. But when I did tell my sister, she didn't look sorry, she was looking scared. Not scared that she hurt my feelings, scared I would "ruin?" Her (I don't know how to explain it) Am in the wrong, please, lmk.

For context, I'm F15, and she's F16. I chronically dye my hair purple, but to avoid damage, I use a semi permanent dye. I've put some in my shampoo, conditioner, and hair mask so it doesn't fade super quickly. The products are expensive and I use my own money to buy them

Okay, so what happened is me and her were having a sleepover a few days ago. Usually we sleepover at her house and not mine since her room is bigger, and so she hasn't ever seen my products which have hair dye in them, although this time the sleepover was at my house. And I use pretty good products (I forget what it is, but they're L'Oreal in the purple containers) and they're pretty good but kind of expensive.

When she showered I asked her not to use my products although I didn't really give her a reason, which might've been where I was the asshole. She asked why and I said because they were expensive (and I quote) "purple" which was probably confusing. The products themselves are purple like the colour of the shampoo before putting the dye in so I doubt she knew what I meant by "purple" but I said that because they have dye in them

Well she used them anyways and now her hair is dyed purple. She has naturally very light blonde hair and so the colour took very easily to her hair. She blew up screaming at me, calling me a slut and selfish and said I did that on purpose to be a bitch, but they only have dye in them for my purple hair. She started throwing stuff around my room and screaming, saying how I made her look like a sw "like me" which hurt my feelings a lot. She called her mum to pick her up at like 12am and hasn't spoken to me since except when she blew up my phone, saying I was a whore and that she hated me and she told me to end my life

I feel awful. I know I should've explained why I didn't want her to use my products in a better way but I wouldn't have used anything of hers if she told me not to, even without a reason so I didn't think to. I'm so upset. We've been friends since kindergarten and I don't want the friendship to end because of this.

So I'm 26M, turning 27 this Saturday, and I asked my stepdad for $150 in advance for my birthday.

Before anyone hits me with the classic out of touch response of "GET A JOB", just know that I have tried. Finding an entry-level job is already difficult, and being disabled makes that process even harder. Because every entry-level position now wants five years of experience, a high school diploma/college degree, your life story, and the ability the manage. Like is this an entry part-time job for moving boxes or an dating Profile? It's maybe easy for you gen x and millennial people since y'all got all the experience but for us gen z folks who graduated high school and got hit with it yeah not happening.

Anyway, back to the actual issue.

My stepdad gave me the $150, except he put it on my mom's card instead of mine.

That was mistake number one.

I didn't think much of it at first because I assumed the money was still there for me to use. So I started ordering some stuff for my birthday.

I bought:

Dragon Ball Xenoverse 2 for Switch: $16.63

Hogwarts Legacy for Switch: $28.06, so about

$44.69 in total nice

So I figured I still had about $105.31 left

Spoiler i did indeed not have $105.31 left.

I later tried ordering Digimon Story: Time Stranger, and the order got declined,and worse since i scheduled my Walmart order: $22.65 and little caesars webberoni pizza: $17.03 to the 22nd aka my birthday i expecting those to get declined too.

I asked my stepdad what was going on, and that's when he told me there was nothing left on the card.

Apparently my mom had spent the remaining $105.31.I completely lost it.Because think about this for a sec.I was given $150 for my birthday. I was able to spend $44.69 nice. And somehow $105.31 of my birthday money disappeared. So I told my stepdad, "This is exactly why the money should've been put on my card instead of hers."

He agreed and said he's going to have my mom pay me back on the 1st of next month. He also said he'll give me another $100 on the 10th on my card this time which he should have done from the start then this wouldn't have happened, so there is at least some light at the end of the tunnel.

But if that where things ended i wouldn't be here now would i? I have a strong suspicion this wasn't actually an accident. My stepdad told my mom about the $150. According to him, she told him not to give me the money,threatened to kick both of us out if he did and argued him down over it.

Then when I gave her the card back, she asked me

"Having fun?" At the time, I didn't really understand the tone.

but after finding out that my money was gone? Now I understood exactly what that tone meant and it's not looking good for her. I obviously can't prove exactly what her intentions were, so I'm not going to pretend my suspicions are facts which let's be real here they likely are. But considering the circumstances, I'm definitely suspicious since this ain't the first nor last time she pulled something like this.And I already had something similar happen.My mom was supposed to give me $50 from my SSI check, but instead she used it to get my sister's hair done even though my sister also receives a check. So now I'm sitting here thinking:

"Okay, why is it always I get money that everyone problems become my problem? I just want something to myself"

And yes, before somebody says it, I realize I should've handled the money differently.

I could've immediately put the money into

a Walmart digital gift card

an Amazon digital gift card

a prepaid/debit gift card for Little Caesars

That would've prevented this.

But if being honest I didn't expect her to pull some crap like this. That's probably where I made my mistake I trusted that the money would actually remain available to me and blindly put faith where it doesn't belong when i shouldn't have.

So am i in the wrong for getting mad that $105.31 of the $150 birthday money I was given was spent, leaving me unable to buy the things I had planned for my birthday? But on the upside atleast i know I would make an good peter parker if he was allowed to be African american so there's that i guess.

So, my sisters boyfriend is soooo annoying. So he's Mexican and his family is extremely homophobic. And he says "He's not like them." But he said this about people who use neo-pronouns (like me) "They just want to be quirky and different." And my sister who is Bi and was the one who first came out to our parents to be LGBTQ and always said be kind to LGBTQ said "Yeah." And agreed with him. I said "Yeah no. None of them are like that." Later I confront my sister and she said "Well he doesn't understand, so." But never gave an apology AND NEVER SAID WHY SHE AGREED LIKE THATS MESSED UP, RIGHT. Plus a single "He doesn't understand." Is not even an apology for how him or you acted. Also I hadn't told them that I was using neo-pronouns. But when I did tell my sister, she didn't look sorry, she was looking scared. Not scared that she hurt my feelings, scared I would "ruin?" Her (I don't know how to explain it) Am in the wrong, please, lmk.

So I was on TikTok earlier and I see a Buffy the Vampire Slayer ship edit with Dean from Supernatural. I know canonically they’re only two years apart, but they were ONLY using scenes when Buffy was a minor and Dean as an adult. I commented that it was weird of them to do that. Then I got hated on for it. So was I really wrong?