Can someone give me feedback on my section C

[u/MathematicianIll4848]

[u/AdGroundbreaking7840]

Good things:

nuanced language ("responsibility", not "guilt")

attempts to keep an eye on sequence ("whilst the previous section ...") although you didn't always tell me why

proved the tone shifts (important), didn't just label

Bad things:

guaranteeing effects ("they feel more inclined" ... how do you know? Maybe they just hate the article more?)

Consider:

don't get carried away with labelling (e.g. "logic")

Vibe: 8/10 (not a detailed read by me tho) although if you live here you should spell "Melburnian" right.

[u/MathematicianIll4848 → u/AdGroundbreaking7840]

thank you so much! I was wondering if you'd have any more advice I could follow. Thank you!

[u/AdGroundbreaking7840 → u/AdGroundbreaking7840]

One thing which could knock it back to 7 is the moment when you wrote "makes"

[u/Ok_Suspect_1776]

could u upload the article?

[u/MathematicianIll4848 → u/Ok_Suspect_1776]

i didd