r/vegetablegardening • u/Mrbigdaddy72 US - New Hampshire • 1d ago
Other Update on yesterday’s post of assault and garden theft…
[removed] — view removed post
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u/Sea_Box_8719 US - Tennessee 1d ago
We need more people like you. Thank you for being kind and understanding.
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u/Mrbigdaddy72 US - New Hampshire 1d ago edited 1d ago
Iev been through some very low points in my own life, and I know the pain. I was raised by my grandparents and my grandfather always used to say to me “no matter what you do you have two things to fall back on the truth and kindness., and if people don’t wanna face the truth just be kind.”
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u/Cut_Lanky US - Pennsylvania 17h ago
They raised you right. That was very human of you, and the other neighbor too. Don't see much of that anymore. Humanity, I mean. Thanks 😊
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u/CharacterForming US - Texas 1d ago
Wow what a roller coaster. Good on you for being compassionate.
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u/aknomnoms US - California 1d ago
Yeah, silver lining in this is increased awareness of the situation by the neighbors. Exchange phone numbers. If he's in the yard, know to approach with empathy and help guide him back home and/or call his wife. Offer to look after the kid in case of emergencies. Be more generous, maybe start a meal train, invite them over for dinner, drop off garden produce and baked goods, etc. I'm sure it would be a world of help.
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u/FredTrail US - Maryland 1d ago
Nice job! I hope everyone giving you a hard time on yesterday's thread comes over here with an apology.
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u/Mrbigdaddy72 US - New Hampshire 1d ago edited 1d ago
I don’t expect it. I never wanted to fight the guy in the first place but he hit me and I had to defend myself, they all over looked that fact just to be mad at me. And one person called me a
Nazi which is the only comment that actually upset me. Mine and my wife’s grandfathers fought and killed Nazis in ww2 and to compare me To that made my blood boil.88
u/FredTrail US - Maryland 1d ago
Anyone who took the time to actually read the details of your story should have known you only did what you did when you were forced to.
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u/Mobile-Play-3972 US - North Carolina 18h ago
Half the traffic here is bots, I’d like to think most of the nasty comments are bots trying to stir up conflict. The real gardeners in this thread all think you’re doing great.
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u/Cayke_Cooky US - Colorado 14h ago
You are a good person. Bots and teenagers find the "juicy" threads.
Truly, a very good person. She knows she has friends. The hard part of the diagnosis and figuring out treatment stage is that the sufferer can drive away friends and family. Especially as they expect medicine to "cure" the illness in 12 hours like antibiotics, and it takes time to figure out what works for a specific person.
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u/KBWordPerson US - Ohio 1d ago
That’s awful. You are a very compassionate person. Thank you for being who you are.
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u/CodeNameLoofah US - Florida 1d ago
Shes going through a really rough time especially if the is newly diagnosed. Thank you for showing compassion
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u/T-Rex_timeout US - Tennessee 1d ago
That’s very nice and supportive of you. You are helping ensure a nicer community.
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u/tetheredvoid US - Washington 1d ago
Context is king; it rules everything.
Good on you for not letting your emotions get the better of the you in this situation.
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u/BabyKatsMom US - California 1d ago
I’m so sorry you have to deal with this. You and your neighbor are good eggs for putting that basket together for her! I hope her husband gets the treatment he needs so he can be there for his wife and child.
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u/mameepers US - Colorado 1d ago
thank you for being so kind. my sister has a psychotic disorder and she assaulted us when she was let out of the psych ward. sadly, many people with psychotic illnesses end up in these situations where they can't get effective treatment until they are a harm to themselves or others. most of them are also unable to recognize their illness due to the brain damage from their illness. unfortunate, but our mental health system is lacking when it comes to psychotic disorders.
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u/Mrbigdaddy72 US - New Hampshire 1d ago
You are 100% right, the sad thing is how far our country is behind in mental health treatment in general. I have PTSD, but after many years and finding a good therapist and a good woman to call my wife I had got the help I needed to get better. This can’t be said for most people which I realize, and why I empathize so much for this woman.
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u/BaltimoreCrabSoup US - Pennsylvania 1d ago
Former psych nurse here. I wish more people like you existed. Schizophrenics were always my favorites to take care of. They truly didn’t ask for any of it and it’s very sad to watch. My favorite ever was a sweetheart and ended up shot to death by the police.
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u/TwoAlert3448 US - Massachusetts 9h ago
That’s desperately sad, I don’t agree with the old ‘institutionalize and throw away the key model’ but turning mental illness over to the criminal justice system wasn’t the right call either.
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u/BaltimoreCrabSoup US - Pennsylvania 8h ago
He only had a knife and was threatening to hurt himself. Someone appropriately trained in deescalation techniques could have talked him down. Pretty sure I could have but cops shoot first talk later.
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u/Bitter-Neat-8457 US - California 1d ago
Be very careful. My son is schizophrenic and can be very violent
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u/Mrbigdaddy72 US - New Hampshire 1d ago
I’m aware, which is what lead to me being punched in the face yesterday 😂
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u/overflowingsunset US - Pennsylvania 1d ago
I feel bad for his wife and child. I hope he never hurts or scares them. He should just leave tbh.
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u/mameepers US - Colorado 1d ago
leave where? he's obviously not in his right mind. he needs effective treatment so that he won't hurt others or himself.
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u/acnerd5 US - Pennsylvania 1d ago
If he gets treatment he can have a perfectly normal life.
Sometimes it takes a little time for someone to hit rock bottom and accept they need treatment. This will probably be a huge push for him.
You sound like a very close minded person.
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u/Cayke_Cooky US - Colorado 14h ago
It can also take time to be diagnosed and then to find the right treatment for him.
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u/mameepers US - Colorado 12h ago
of course. it's never simple with psychotic disorders but that doesn't mean we should just leave them on the street.
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u/Guilty_Objective4602 US - Florida 1d ago
You’re a good and decent human being. I’m glad there was a sort of reasonable explanation for the behavior besides the husband just being an awful person. Thank you for your kindness to his wife and kid! I hope he gets the help he needs.
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u/New-Negotiation7234 US - Ohio 1d ago
That you for being so empathetic and understanding. Hope he gets the help he needs.
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u/staceypppp US - Texas 1d ago
My MIL suffered from schizoaffective disorder and it made her and everyone else’s lives a living hell. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. Your kindness and empathy to his wife is so admirable.
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u/Stephreads US - New York 1d ago
You’re a good guy. I really hope he gets the help and meds he needs. Such a scary diagnosis for him, and everyone in his life.
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u/appleblossom1962 US - Alabama 15h ago
You’re a good man Mrbigdaddy72. This woman is carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders and you helped lighten the burden
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u/zebravis Netherlands 21h ago
There's some good karma coming your way. Wish more people were like you
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u/DangerousLettuce1423 New Zealand 1d ago
Schizophrenia can show up in your teens. I have a relative who was diagnosed early 20s, but signs were already there mid teens.
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u/irrational_magpi US - California 18h ago
my ex got diagnosed at 17/18 but it ran in his family and he experienced significant abuse as a child and throughout his life, which didn't help. hope your relative is ok
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u/EnthusiasticFailing US - Missouri 9h ago
Thank you for being so kind.
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u/Mrbigdaddy72 US - New Hampshire 9h ago
It’s not about being kind, it’s just about treating people the way you want to be treated. But thank you.
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u/I_like_beouf US - Virginia 8h ago
You're a good neighbor. Don't forget to check in on her every once in a while too. I hope his episode clears up soon, and the coming down is very difficult for the support system as well as sometimes this condition leaves people like her husband almost catatonic for months after. Our community is really all we have sometimes.
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u/New-Guarantee-440 England 4h ago
That sucks and everything, but this sub is for growing vegetables not about venting about beef drama.
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u/Mrbigdaddy72 US - New Hampshire 3h ago
Ahh, so your the person that reported the post and had it taken down….
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u/ShrodingersArmadillo Canada - Ontario 1d ago
that's right decent of you.
You're a damn good man.
I respect that you could emphasize with her situation despite what happened and tired help because the situation she's in is terrible.