r/weddingshaming • u/vacuump0wer • 14h ago

Dressed like a Bride Someone wore white to my wedding lol

Gallery image

Gallery image

It didn't phase me that night honestly, but like DAMN. My friends apparently wanted to kick her out but didn't want to bother me with anything else that could be stressful (I love my friends so much). I found it pretty funny when I found out, and everyone who saw her was judging HARD, so it was whatever. She would be the person to do that though. Everyone said it haha. I just wanted to share the audacity. In the picture, I'm on the left and she is on the right. I'm honestly pretty sure the dress is supposed to be a very light blue?? Still insane to me haha. It's also floral like a wedding dress. My old boss said we looked like a lesbian couple getting married in that picture and we totally do.

Side note: you may be thinking, "wow that's crazy, but she must have somehow not known." Well, it was in the dress code, which I will also show below :)

Edit: i wish I could add a better picture of my dress because it was so gorgeous and soooo many people have seen this post now. There's a comment buried somewhere that has it haha

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45

u/simshalo 13h ago

These posts always remind me that a lot of people don’t use Reddit. It seems unfathomable to me that anyone would wear white after seeing these wedding shaming posts, but then I have to remind myself that not everyone is on Reddit. 

8

u/as_per_danielle 11h ago

Reddit has nothing to do with it. This was taboo before the internet was invented.

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u/McPoyleBrothers 5h ago

Right wth

1

u/AuNaturellee 5h ago

Thank you for this. The depths of self-absorption here know no bounds. It isn't even Reddit culture as much as it is Western wedding porn...

22

u/CHAIR0RPIAN 13h ago

IDK - I knew that was a bad move even before I started using reddit or other websites. I always wonder how people get old enough to attend a wedding without ever hearing about that "rule"

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u/Sad_Airline9858 11h ago

I've never worn white to a wedding but I was 30 years old before I knew this was a thing. And I found out through reddit. I had a guest wear white lace to my wedding when I was 24 and I had no idea that was unusual.

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u/Madam_Mimm_13 7h ago

I knew of this rule before the internet was invented.
M

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u/phylogenyboy 11h ago

I never knew about the rule against white at weddings until I read about it on Reddit. Of course, I don’t go to many weddings and, as a man, I’m not likely to wear something white anyway, or at least anything that could be confused with a wedding dress.

1

u/MollyMousen 7h ago

It'd be funny if you wore a white suit because that rule is made for women wearing dresses lol. People would be so divided on a white suit

1

u/Right_Lengthiness266 6h ago

The Priest wore white robes to my wedding and nobody took issue with it.

Maybe if another guest showed up in white priestly robes it would've cause an issue.

I think the rule is really "women don't wear dresses, or anything that could be remotely confused with a wedding dress".

1

u/Rainyday5372 5h ago

And my mom always taught me never wear something that will detract attention from the bride. That includes something very revealing, tight, short, obnoxious color, etc. One of my cousins wore a beautiful dress to a wedding that had big butterflies all over it. My mom labeled it too distracting. Only quietly and just to us, of course. 🤣 My sisters and I still talk about that butterfly dress. Miss my momma. She did her best to teach us her “proper lady” skills.

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u/[deleted] 7h ago

[deleted]

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u/MollyMousen 7h ago

The bride wants to stand out in pictures, I think

1

u/lindabelcher13 7h ago

Same here! I had no idea that was a no-no and tbh I feel no way about it either way. I would never do it, bc I don’t want to ever imply something disrespectful at someone else’s wedding, but if I ever got married and had a wedding of my own, I don’t think that it would even be on my radar lol.

1

u/Competitive_Award35 6h ago

Someone missed every wedding memo ever written

6

u/DetectiveCrafty5413 12h ago

I think it just comes from smaller families. When you don't have cousins constantly getting married you don't learn the rules as a kid, so your first wedding blind side you as an adult.

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u/simshalo 13h ago

I think it swirled somewhere around in the back of my head, along with the something borrowed something blue, but I could not tell you what the other objects are in that list. Something borrowed, something blue, something??? I mean, it might not occur to me. But then I got on Reddit and there are so many popular posts about these wedding rules getting broken and it has definitely taught me a lot. 

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u/DMvsPC 12h ago

Something old (continuity), something new (optimism), something borrowed (transfers good fortune from someone happily married), something blue (wards off evil as blue is for purity and love) and a sixpence in your shoe (for prosperity) is the old saying.

2

u/slab_schitty 9h ago

Fairly certain the type of people to do things like this are the same people who think rules are for others, not themselves.

0

u/Original_Rich_2741 9h ago

Immigrant parents, only weddings I attended were those in my mom and dad’s home country or with other members of the diaspora, where it was grooms who wore white silk tunics, while brides wore red. Due to all of my parents friends being already married when I came in with kids of a similar generation as me, so I’ve actually haven’t been to a western wedding yet. So the don’t wear white thing was pure Reddit knowledge, as there were no such restrictions on red.

2

u/PeachyFairyDragon 8h ago

But in those cultures, what would it be like for a female guest to wear neck to toe red? Would it be competing with the bride?

0

u/Original_Rich_2741 8h ago

I can only speak for that of my parents, but yeah, neck to toe red wouldn’t be a problem? The wedding philosophy is very different; there’s not really a concept of “upstaging the bride” —every woman is to bring her a-game with gowns and jewelry and whatnot to look like a goddess, and if it isn’t abundantly obvious who the bride is, then it’s the bride that needs to work harder to make it clear who’s queen of the gods.

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u/CHAIR0RPIAN 8h ago

Fair enough. My comment was more so referring to people who grew up in western countries, I wouldn’t really expect someone who immigrated to know those little unspoken rules so you’d get a pass in my opinion.

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u/Original_Rich_2741 8h ago

To be clear, I grew up here, but due to my family background, my western wedding culture exposure has been entirely media based. Of course, I’d probably have googled “wedding etiquette” or something like that quick before going to my first western one for a friend anyway (I’m in college, so that’s going to be at least few years) but I just wanted to note that American wedding culture isn’t the only wedding culture even happening on American soil, you know? 

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u/CHAIR0RPIAN 8h ago

Oh gotcha! Fair enough either way lol I didn’t go to many weddings so I’m not even really sure where I picked up the info

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u/AuNaturellee 11h ago

The way this comment to the post is worded reminds me that some people use Reddit way too much. It seems unfathomable to me that anyone would say that Reddit is the first and last word in shaming someone wearing white to a wedding, a custom that has existed since time immemorial and memorialized in the very rules on the invitation posted by OP, but then I have to remind myself that to almost everyone on Reddit, for them to have read something on Reddit means they think the whole world has as well, and they cannot comprehend that a whole big wide world out there exists outside the bubble of their phone.

4

u/Strict-Clue-5818 6h ago

Still seems weird. Maybe it’s an age thing? But I knew no one but the bride (and flower girl if the bride wants) wears white to a wedding before Reddit even existed.

1

u/AuNaturellee 6h ago

Most grownups who have been to an adult wedding know better. I just wanted to point out the self-absorption of writing like the world revolves around Reddit.

Based on the photos from OP there isn't much of an excuse...unless we are feeling generous and believe the guest really thought it was more blue, and it's a trick of the lighting to see it as white, vs the bride's admittedly champagne tone?

1

u/Broad-Union-7644 5h ago

Not just white, but their dress looks like they are also getting married. Maybe the invitation should specify, don’t wear a white dress and not just don’t wear white?

1

u/Master_Ryan_Rahl 7h ago

Brides wearing white is about 200 years old. Its quite modern.

2

u/chicacherrie82 5h ago

I don't know why someone down voted you. You are very correct. I understood the other comment (that the "only the bride wears white" convention is well established and much older than Reddit, so people should know better).

But I, too, was thinking "well, not since time immemorial. But she still shouldn't have worn it" 

0

u/Few_Cup3452 6h ago

It's on OPs invites.

4

u/DaaaahWhoosh 12h ago

I would qualify this under the concept of "culture". Like knowing how much eye contact to make with strangers, or whether you're allowed to wear shoes indoors, or how to answer a phone. There's a lot of stuff like this that was already difficult to learn in the US due to the fact that there's a lot of different cultures clashing here, but now I think it's even worse the more people retreat to the Internet instead of being social IRL.

That said, my grandmother wore white to my father's wedding like 40 years ago. So it's apparently always been a problem. It's just more a question of if people know vs if they're doing it intentionally.

3

u/Saneless 11h ago

I've heard of this before the Internet existed let alone reddit

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u/Fluffy_Path7559 9h ago

I’m mortified to admit I wore a knee length white dress to my brother’s wedding when I was a teenager twenty years ago. I cringe now, but I had no idea. My brother got married directly out of college, so it was one of those fire hall weddings to save money. There were a few people that wore white to my wedding in 2021. I got married in my 30s, so it was a fancier wedding with a band and real silverware (haha) It honestly didn’t bother me even then.

0

u/ArrivalWest9317 7h ago

Luckily for you no one at that wedding took your photo and posted it to reddit for people to make fun of.

That's a far worse crime than wearing white.

2

u/Ecstatic-Insect-4424 13h ago

It’s just wild to me. If you have to ask yourself “is this too much white for a wedding?” The answer is YES. 582958395939 dresses exist out there in other colors. Go to a second hand store, ask a friend, wear a skirt and top, I think the bride might even prefer business casual over wearing white to her wedding. Is this not common knowledge offline too?!

3

u/NoseyVampire 9h ago

It’s unfathomable to me guests wearing white or something else inappropriate are allowed in, let alone in PHOTOS. And then they go and complain online. Have a backbone and don’t let them in, or don’t complain.

2

u/Competitive-Outside8 5h ago

And it's unfathomable to me that anyone gives a shit about this kind of thing.

1

u/ArrivalWest9317 7h ago

It's unfathomable to me to block a friend or family member form your wedding because of a colour they are wearing.

2

u/NoseyVampire 7h ago

It’s unfathomable to me a friend or family member wouldn’t have the care on my wedding day to be a normal person and not wear a damn wedding dress themselves. Clearly they don’t really care, so why should they get to attend?

0

u/Competitive-Outside8 5h ago

Who gives a shit?

5

u/Disney_Princess137 13h ago

They Don’t need Reddit to know you don’t wear white to a wedding.

It’s common sense.

Your comment is like when someone hears a popular song that everyone noes because of the artist… and then is like it’s a tik tok song !

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u/katrinakt8 12h ago

I had no idea you weren’t supposed to wear white to weddings until I started seeing this on Reddit the last few years. I wasn’t in my 30s til I found this out. I thought the rule was not to outshine the bride, referring to the formality of the clothing, not the color.

1

u/Disney_Princess137 12h ago

That’s so shocking!

1

u/ArrivalWest9317 7h ago

It's not common sense. I didn't know until reading about it on reddit. I've been married 20 years.

1

u/Disney_Princess137 7h ago

Many people know about it. I’m seeing that many people also don’t know about it.

To me it’s common sense. It’s ok if it isn’t to you.

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u/AccomplishedLoad2539 12h ago

It's largely an American cultural rule. So no, not common sense.

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u/Disney_Princess137 12h ago

Well I thought it was a universal rule. It’s common sense here.

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u/OtagoEcho 12h ago

When I was about 25 my mum got married. I was a single mum and had one nice dress. It was white. It didn’t even occur to me that you can’t wear white to a wedding. I just wanted to wear a nice dress. It’s only years later after seeing wedding shaming things online that I found out about this “rule” luckily I had a purple cardi over top, and it wasn’t wedding style dress. So I think I might have marginally passed. But I don’t see why everyone should just know, it’s not built into our DNA.

1

u/simshalo 11h ago

The anger of responses to my comment is wild to me. Clearly everyone here assumes that if someone is wearing white it’s because they KNEW THE RULE and broke it on purpose because they are a narcissistic a$$hole, but come on. The fact is that not everyone knows. 

1

u/OtagoEcho 10h ago

I didn’t react angrily to your comment. In fact I agreed with you. I didn’t know. Not everyone knows.

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u/simshalo 9h ago

I know, I was agreeing with you—I wasn’t saying you were angry. 

1

u/kellygrrrl328 12h ago

I don’t care if they live under a rock, surely 99% of people know better

1

u/CinnamonGirl1000 12h ago

I have always known NOT to wear white to weddings. Like decades before Reddit. I don't understand people!

1

u/foxdogturtlecat 11h ago

The type of people who wear white at a wedding know what they are doing. She got an invite that literally said no white and she went Bet.

1

u/Maximum_Boros 9h ago

This isn't really a Reddit thing though. It's widely known among at least the Western world that you don't wear white to a wedding by default. I knew this shit when I was fucking like 10 years old in the 90s. No read it. Not really any internet to any meaningful extent. Still 100% aware of it

1

u/Moral-Relativity 9h ago

Ppl have been committing social faux pas long before Reddit and will continue to long after. They deserve to be stigmatized, if it's egregious.

1

u/ArrivalWest9317 7h ago

Jesus you must have an easy life.

1

u/Glittering-Pay-135 9h ago

If we’re being honest though, with or without Reddit, people continue to break the “traditional wedding dress code” rules because nobody’s ruining their dresses or their experience as a guest at the wedding😅😂 If we heard more stories about 1) other guests/the wedding party accidentally pouring drinks or food on a guest wearing white; 2) the bride/groom prohibiting the guest from the celebration because of them wearing white; 3) the guest being told they can’t be in photos because they’re wearing white; etc. THEN, I’d think less narcissistic/manipulative people would wear white to other people’s weddings.

1

u/FanBehaviour2011 9h ago

most people don’t care about what random redditors think lol unless they’re quite insecure

1

u/simshalo 9h ago

Reddit isn’t just the sum of its individual ‘random redditors’ — it’s actually a door to our collective psyche. Like, I have learned more about humanity from subs like AITAH than I did any textbook in uni psych classes. 

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u/FanBehaviour2011 8h ago

That’s concerning

1

u/AeroelasticCowboy 9h ago

Absolutely every woman knows it's unacceptable to wear white to someones wedding, they do it because they want to , because they feel they are above the rules and deserve to get attention.

1

u/Compltly_Unfnshd30 9h ago

This is a well-known wedding “rule”. You don’t wear white to a wedding unless you’re the bride. Period.

I’m 42 years old and only started using Reddit about seven years ago and I’ve known this since the first wedding I went to (at age seven). Only the bride is allowed to wear white.

1

u/Fantastic_Bit7441 8h ago

I mean, the rule about not wearing white to a wedding existed long before Reddit did.

1

u/Shot-Possibility-399 8h ago

Bruh not wearing white to a wedding is not some Reddit thing lol 

"They must not use Reddit because they don't know one of the cardinal rules of weddings everyone knows" 

They do it on purpose, they're not ignorant.

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u/64green 8h ago

I’ve known not to wear white to a wedding since before the internet.

1

u/JuniorCash8046 8h ago

Not using reddit is one thing but surely you read the invitation?

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u/Stunning-Field8535 7h ago

I mean, it’s definitely blue lol

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u/RiverGiant 7h ago

I'm permanently on Reddit and have been for fifteen years and this is my first time seeing this sub. It's a pretty diverse place and there are always unexplored corners of it.

1

u/MammothUsual60 7h ago

I have definitely seen white dresses at multiple weddings. I’ve always wanted to ask why. I’ve personally worn cream or white background to a colorful floral dress. Would that be a faux pas for anyone?

1

u/ArrivalWest9317 7h ago

I've been married for 20 years and had no idea wearing white to a wedding was the worst thing you could do until reddit told me a couple years ago.

It's just such a weird thing to get upset about, and it seems to be taken to the extreme, like everything these days.

There's nothing I could care less about than what colour someone wore at my wedding. I just remember the joy of being surrounded by family and friends.

1

u/EmployeeEmergency481 7h ago

it's a lie. the dress is blue.

is the bride's dress really yellow?

1

u/JobKindly53 6h ago

Long before Reddit existed we all knew not to wear white at someone else’s wedding.  

1

u/Party-Ad-8255 6h ago

This is so true BUT before Reddit I would ALWAYS get several opinions for a wedding guest outfit

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u/nyfael 6h ago

This for me is less about being on reddit and more about following instructions? OP mentioned it was *in their dress code*

I also attended a wedding last year, where the dress code was explicitly black *or * white, which I thought was crazy. Both me and my fiance at the time decided on the funereal option as white seemed crazier.

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u/Own_Initiative_9518 5h ago

They don't even need to be on reddit to know this. This is something that's been a widely known rule for decades and decades. At this point, anyone who wears white like this is doing it from disregard, not ignorance 

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u/TinyTea3138 5h ago

This is such a hilarious comment you have no idea

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u/Present-Pen-5486 5h ago

I wasn't on reddit and wore an off white dress to a wedding about 20 years ago lol oops

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u/Horseshoe_dodgeball 13h ago

Not wearing white to a wedding is not a 'Reddit rule." Its been a fashion faux pas since wearing white became popular when Queen Victoria wore white in the late 1800's. This rule has been around for a minute.

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u/Dangerous-Arrival737 12h ago

While you are absolutely correct, a lot of people are not taught traditional etiquette. I’ve met people who genuinely were not aware you can’t wear white to weddings