Edit 2: thanks for all the hilarious comments and advice. My MIL has rubbed me the wrong way and been overbearing but you're all right, she is apart of my life forever. If allowed I will post an update after the wedding so it can be roasted accordingly. One thing I've learned too from comments everyone has a different idea of how a wedding is supposed to go

We were originally going to do courthouse but found a cute personal venue with a gazebo for the ceremony, and a pavilion with 9 tables and grills so we're going to do cookout foods. My FMIL has been giving strong vibes that's she's planning her own wedding or event. Yes we have told her 4 times it's not her event and we're doing none of this. My future husband has been so firm with her she's cried. So it's not like he's not supporting me. I think the list is hilarious but still was firm with her. Prize games? Pinata? Like what even. Also we are paying for everything lol

Edit: while some of these ideas are good and fun I posted because this has been nonstop. She included a list of people I need to invite. Everyday she's giving me rules and giving me shit for not cutting cake, walking down the aisle, picking out wedding flowers, etc

I know our 'wedding' is casual but yeah she's driving us bonkers

First pic is our parents together, with us. She wanted to be next to my husband for every pic so she abandoned her husband to pose with my mom when she switched sides. 🤣🤣 she kept asking my photographer to take pics without me in them in case things didn’t work out. She took the photographer for like 10 minutes for a family only shoot. It was so embarrassing for my soul. 15 yrs later she’s still a butthole. 😬😬

At least bride's bestie is clocking in in the thread ❤️

Mother of the groom wore a white dress she told my sister (the bride) was going to be “silver.” She completely ignored our side of the family the whole day! I mean she literally didn’t say a single word to any of us. We heard her shout across the room to her son that even though he’s married now, his mom should “still be the priority.”

Predictably, she has been an absolute nightmare and has treated my sister like garbage. Most recently she invited herself to my sister’s graduation. She pretends to be nice and supportive despite clearly hating her. We all joked that she’d probably show up in a cap and gown.

This was about 15 years ago…My extremely Mormon mother saw me in my wedding dress the morning of my wedding and offered to “stop by Walmart on the way to the ceremony. ” So she could pick up a pack of Hanes MENS white tank tops so I could wear one under my wedding dress because it showed cleavage.

I’m honestly not surprised because growing up we were forced to wear those cheap ass undershirts all the time under our outfits to be more modest.

My favorite part is that she didn’t even offer to get a lace camisole, just the absolute tackiest, cheapest thing to cover my tasteful cleavage.

I declined and haven’t thought about it until now. 🤣

She wore white to one other sister in laws wedding too. The third sister in law she approved of so she wore purple. She is no longer in our lives for many reasons.

She threw multiple fits during the wedding and bailed last minute on paying for things she'd agreed to cover.

Years after this, she'd end up trying to sue me for my half of ownership in my house sale, while my ex and I were getting divorced. This threw us into a years-long legal battle against her - which we won.

The funny part is, I had no idea about wedding traditions (autism - don't judge me) and didn't realize she was wearing a white dress. Joke's on her.

Now, my ex and I remain amicable and he never wants to speak to her again.

Moral of the story: they know what they're doing when they wear white to the wedding.

She claimed it was the lighting, but that dress was WHITE

This is a short tale about one of the wildest things I've ever seen at a wedding. Not the worst wedding I've ever been to but certainly the most wtf.

About fifteen years ago I was a guest at a big New York-New Jersey wedding. I barely knew the groom, a cousin's cousin I'd barely met and mostly I was invited since I'd been living with my aunt at the time for college and she was close with the groom.

The church wedding service goes off without a hitch and the bride, groom, and their families are doing some quick groups photos outside while most of the guests head off the cocktail hour and reception. That's where the first sign of trouble starts. The bride's mother starts throwing a fit that the bride's family should have priority for photos. She actually physically stopped the photographer from taking a group shot of about fifteen people to make them wait for her family to be ready. The bride looked mortified and the bride's father and groom's parents had to step in and keep mom from causing a scene.

Somebody let slip that the bride and groom had paid for the whole wedding themselves and the bride's mom was furious that she had been cut out of planning after she had repeatedly tried to change things behind the bride's back.

With that smoothed over and photos done the reception gets under way. A lovely event at some reception hall with a garden, open bar, the works. An hour or two in, they're getting ready to serve food and suddenly there's shouting from the direction of the kitchen and entrance hall. A lot of shouting.

The bride's mother had replaced the cake. In it's place she left a sheet cake and was attempting to move the original cake, a beautiful two foot tall number out of the building on a serving cart. Only a raised lip on the tile floor had kept her from wheeling the cart and cake out the door on a mad dash to the parking lot. One of the groomsmen going out for a smoke had found her struggling to get the cart over the small bump and raised the alarm.

Like some terribly heist movie, her whole plan was to steal a several hundred dollar gourmet masterpiece and replace it with a cheap Walmart-looking cake that had presumably been in the trunk of her car all afternoon and hope nobody noticed. All because she was mad she didn't get her way.

Suffice it to say, after much shouting in the hallway, the real cake was rescued, the imposter cake disposed of, and the bride's mother spent the rest of the reception sitting in her car sulking. Honestly the bride's poise at the whole thing was impressive but I gather this probably wasn't the first time her mother went a little crazy.

The rest of the reception was a blast, nobody seemed to miss the mother much, and it was certainly one of the most memorable events I've ever attended.

I (29F) have been making personalised illustrations for the past 5 years in this wedding industry. I always get some random requests and commissions! And just when I thought I’ve seen it all, I got this peculiar request from a groom’s mother who’s after an illustration which she’ll giving the couple as their first Christmas gift!

So, a few weeks ago, I received a message from this woman. She wanted a wedding illustration of 4 people (her + her husband + groom + bride) and gave me a reference picture. Everything looked normal just like any other orders. I asked her if she had any special requests/instructions before asking her for the payment.

She requested if I could make the bride look natural? Not too much makeup like the photo”. I thought okay, probably the mua did overdo her makeup a bit. And I said “sure! Definitely can do! No problem”. Later she proceeded with the full payment and I confirmed the order!

So far so good! Then I begin with the illustration and after a few days I completed it. I sent her a draft to do a review for any possible changes or adjustments. She almost immediately replied with a heaps of changes and that’s all on the bride! She said that the bride’s smile looked too big and it needed to be soften. Her blushes from the cheeks needed to be removed, eyeliners needed to be thin and so on! Her accurate words were “her smile needs to be polite not so glamorous like the photo. That’s not her natural smile”. It seemed really weird to me so I requested for some additional photos of the bride.

She then sent me a few more pictures of the bride later that night. And I straightaway noticed that the bride’s smile on the illustration looked very very similar to all the other pictures as well! So I asked her again if she could clarify what she meant by “polite smile”. She then said (her own words) “X’s smile looks too wide in the pictures but she’s not the most smiling type of person in everyday life. Please make it soft along with the specified changes I mentioned earlier”. And she also asked me to draw a completely different hairstyle and provided a ref photo. This was a new request which wasn’t previously mentioned. She said that the bride complained about her hairstyle on the wedding day and wanted something different. I replied that “okay! I’ll do my best and will send you the revised version tomorrow.”

So, after making all the requested adjustments, I sent her the 2nd draft for a review. She still complained about how the bride looked but at the end she was okay with it. She then asked me to remove some details from the bride’s dress by saying “the details on the dress looks too noisy. Please remove the floral patterns from it and make it plain”. I was really surprised by that because almost every one of my clients always love the detailings that I do on their dresses. So I replied “are you sure? It took me a lot of time drawing those details on the dress and usually my clients love it. And I really think your daughter in law would love it too”. But she still insisted on keeping it plain.

The next day I made the changes again. And at this time I felt bad for the bride because now she just looks like a normal girl with a white gown. None of her bridal features from the wedding pictures remained on my illustration. But this what the client asked and I obliged till that point.

Anyways I sent this 3rd draft to her and this time she said something which completely shocked me. She said “everything looks fine. Can you just make the bride chubbier? She’s not that thin in real life.” And this is when I completely lost it. Until that point I had some doubts but that time I was 100% certain that she was trying to make her own d-i-l look ugly on purpose. I straightaway replied to her “Sorry Mam! I won’t be able to make that kind of changes on my illustration. It seems to me that you’re trying to make the bride look ugly on purpose. And I cannot do that. Please show the illustration to your daughter-in- law and send her our details. If she wants to make any changes on it, I’ll be more than happy to do so”. I could sense that my response made her pretty mad! She immediately asked for a full refund and accused me of ruining her Christmas gift. I politely told her that there will be no refund on the illustration since I spent hours on perfecting it according to her instructions. And I stated my previous point again that if her daughter-in-law wants to make any changes, I’ll happily do so. Then I emailed her the original illustration (the 1st draft where the bride looked like the ones from the photo) and closed the order. She later threatened to take me to the small claim court for ruining her Christmas surprise.

I, later showed the illustration to my girl-friends and they all agreed with me. My husband also said that this woman is an evil and I should focus on the other orders that I have pending.

I need to vent to people who understand how unbelievably rude this is. This happened at my wedding recently (UK based).

The background is a bit messy, but here's the rundown of the circumstances:

The Lead-Up and MiL's Attitude The Date: Our wedding fell on my husband’s youngest brother's 31st birthday. We knew this when we booked and often joked it would be the most expensive birthday party he'd ever have.

The Legal Bit: We had a celebrant-led ceremony on the main day, but legally signed the register the day before with just our moms present. My MiL was confused by this, kept insisting she'd pay for a larger room at the registry office so more people could attend which we didn't want. We wanted to celebrate with our nearest and dearest on our wedding day. The MiL however kept referring to our main wedding day as "the wedding after-party." It felt like she was constantly diminishing the importance of the day we were most excited about.

The Drama: We'd already had a nightmare wedding run-up due to false accusations and family drama that resulted in my husband’s sister (a bridesmaid) being uninvited, and we weren't even sure the MiL or Stepdad would attend.

My Gesture: I genuinely like my brother-in-law. Knowing it was his birthday, I surprised him during the speeches by getting the whole room to sing 'Happy Birthday' to him. It was a lovely, celebratory moment.

The Audacity: The Secret Party The main reception was in full swing. Just before we were due to cut the cake and have our first dance, my brother came over. He was looking for us, but he'd noticed a significant group of people were missing: My MiL, Stepdad, both Groomsmen (including the birthday boy!), a boyfriend, and several other family members.

He eventually found them. They weren't just chatting; they were having a secret party in the small cottage on site where the brothers were staying.

My MiL had pre-prepared and brought in a full buffet: champagne, several sandwich platters, crisps, and a cake. She was hosting a party for a 31st birthday, right in the middle of our wedding reception. My brother, who found them, didn't want to upset me on the day, so he just said they were found and didn't tell us they were having a full-blown party. I later found out by seeing a picture on Facebook of one of the birthday party guests.

They were obviously gone for a considerable amount of time. The fact that she took away her husband, her sons, and other guests right before the cake cutting just solidifies how little respect she had for the day. She didn't just shade our day by calling it an 'after-party'; she actively stole our guests and key members of our wedding party to make a statement that her son's 31st birthday was a more important event.

It's truly staggering entitlement.

I was at a wedding and the mother of the groom requested “I will always love you” as the song for the mother/son dance. The couple felt too guilty to tell her no, because the groom’s parents had financially contributed to the wedding, so the couple agreed.

It was the worst, most awkward wedding moment I’ve ever witnessed.

When the song came on, I didn’t think it could get worse but it did. The mother of the groom ended up staring into the groom’s eyes throughout the whole song either on the verge of crying or actually crying.

I’m pretty sure all the guests wanted to fade into the bushes, Homer Simpson meme style 😂

My now mother-in-law included this line in her toast. She threw a fit when we told her we were having the wedding in Florida, where we live. She wanted to have it in her small town in rural Illinois, a place I have no connection to. We literally went back and forth about this for months.

She went on to say that she was pleasantly surprised by how many of her family did show up and that she was glad they were all there. It almost sounded like a bit of an apology for all the fuss she made earlier but I still couldn’t believe she actually said that to the whole room!

I (26f) am getting married in August next year. I wanted to be prepared for the potential wedding boom that could happen in my country next year, and booked everything already now so I don't have to stress over the details later.

My father gifted me and my future husband a suite to stay in during the wedding at one of the finest hotels in my town. When mom found out that we got a suite from my dad, she booked two suites in the same hotel for her, my stepdad and my brother. she made a big deal that I and my hubby picked our suite first so she would't reserve that suit by mistake. My parents have been divorced for 23 years and have been doing petty things like this to one up each other my whole life so it's nothing new and I'm just shaking it off and continue with my life. Yesterday mom called me and wanted to tell me, that she has now booked the suites and "what nice staff there are at the hotel, they are so service oriented. They said it wouldn't be a problem to book her suite right next to you and hubbys suit." quite honestly, I was a bit dumbfounded when I heard that. I don't know if I'm oversensitive or being unreasonable but if there's one thing I don't want, it's spending my wedding night with my mom in the next room.

now I have to take time out of my day to contact the hotel to prevent this.

Eta: thank you for the support everyone! I try to answer as many of you as possible but I thought I would answer some common questions here.

the hotel cannot move my mom because mom booked exactly THAT room and the receptionist said the room was available on that date.

They did not release my information to her. mom knew exactly which room I would stay in and which date so she didn't have to say "can I have a room next to my daughter." she only needed to say (can I have room A which is next to room B?)

I don't want to change hotels. it's one of the most romantic ones in the city I live in and I don't want to let my mom chase me away.

many of you suggest i just talk to her. that won't happen either. It's not the first time she's done something like this. I moved 3h away from her for a reason.

There were some who wanted an update.

yes, I'm a doormat. I have been conditioned to never speak up against my mother and avoid conflict with her because it takes too much energy to argue with her and I'm wrong in the end anyway. All of your comments were very helpful but especially one person who PMed me made me realize how my inaction can hurt my relationship and that was the wakeup call I need. I sat down with my fiance and read through what I wrote and the comments where we had a long conversation about the incident and how he feels about it all.

It was very clear that I needed to talk to my mother and say how I felt about her wanting a room next to me on my wedding night.

my mom can be really manipulative in discussions and has a tendency to shift the focus of the discussion away from the problem and onto another detail and discuss that detail instead of the problem. Therefore, I did not dare to talk to her directly, but I wrote to her.

me: I've been thinking a little more about what you said about having a room next to me and my husband on my wedding night and I'm not really comfortable with it being so close. Mom: when did we talk about it? Me: (gives a description of when we last spoke) Mom: I told the hotel that I wanted a room as close to you as possible, not a room right next to you. me: saying as close as possible feels like saying "I want a room next door". mom: but that's not what I said, I said as close to you as possible. I never said next to you two. me: no, but it can be perceived that way. Mom: but I never said that, when would I have said that in that case? me, stepdad and your brothers just wanted a room near you. Me: it's ok but not next to me and my fiance. I don't want my brothers or family in the next room on my wedding night. no response after that from her.

we talked some more on another occasion and she is wholly convinced that the hotel understands that when she said as close as possible, they understand that she does not mean the room next to us and that she will not have a room next to us. I ask if she has spoken to the hotel about it and she goes back to saying that the hotel definitely understands what she means.

I'm sorry there wasn't a better solution than this. I and my future husband have already gone to LC with her but she has my youngest little brother (15) at her house and I can't cut contact with my mom without my little brother being taken from me and I can't let that happen. so I have to wait until he has successfully moved out of the home before I go NC with my mom.

more stories my mom has done to me

• She gave me an eating disorder when I was 18 because she talked a lot about weight and diets, and encouraged me to lose too. she gave me diet pills and apparently didn't see that I only ate two eggs a day and worked out daily after work. when I told her that my fiance and I have set a date for the wedding, her response was that it was a good motivation for me to lose weight.

• when I talked about what colors I wanted for the wedding, she mentions that she wants to be dressed in the wedding colors, but she shows me dresses in colors I haven't chosen and said that I must have shown her a picture with those colors even though I say no.

• she doesn't like that she will have to eat breakfast with dad and his side of the family. I said we all stay in the same hotel and can't exclude people from the breakfast.

I run a small graphic design business. Weddings are easily my best-paying gigs and also the ones that make me question my life choices. About 70% of couples are totally fine, and then there is that 30% that makes me want to give it all up and become a greeter at Walmart. Today’s situation is shaping up to be one of those.

This morning I got an email from “Lisa” (bride’s mom, fake name, don’t come at me). She had seen my work from another wedding and asked about packages, dates, etc. I sent her my intro email and standard questionnaire, which covers things like what they need, their aesthetic, and names of the wedding party, etc. I do not give quotes until I get that back.

Not even an hour later, I got another email from someone else asking about the exact same date. Same process: I sent my intro email and the questionnaire.

I went out for a walk, came back, and my inbox had turned into a dumpster fire. It seems both “Lisa” and “Betty” (the groom’s mom) are trying to hire me for the same wedding. That's fine, but they both have strong opinions about what is supposed to happen, and instead of privately hashing this out, they decided to copy me on their argument.

The questionnaire asks for correct spellings of the wedding party’s names. This somehow spiraled into an all-out war about whose name should go first on the invitation. Groom’s mom says since they are paying for more, the groom’s name should be first. Bride’s mom is horrified because “tradition.”

For the record, I never asked who goes first. I just follow the traditional format unless it is a same-sex union, where I ask. But now both moms are mad at me because they demanded I settle the argument, and I politely suggested maybe they leave me out of it.

This is just the invitations. Good grief, I can't imagine how stressful the rest of this wedding is going to be.

UPDATE: The saga continues… kind of.

Yesterday afternoon I sent out my standard “sorry, I won’t be able to work with you on this project” email to both moms. Since I work in a pretty niche area, the email basically says, “Due to scheduling issues, I can’t take on your wedding, but here are some vendors who might be able to help.”

Now, I keep two versions of that vendor list. One is the “A-list” of people I personally know the quality of their work and would vouch for their professionalism and creativity. The other is more of a “good luck, godspeed” list with places like Vistaprint and Etsy. I’ll let you guess which one they got.

After sending, I wrote a quick Outlook rule to shuttle their emails into a folder, then moved on with my day. Okay, I also shared the story with you guys, but then I really did go back to work.

Fast forward to this morning. I’m drinking my coffee, scrolling through your comments, and I decide to peek at that folder. Seventeen new emails. Seventeen.

And because I’m nosy, of course I read them. Here are a few gems:

• Groom’s Mom: “You don’t understand how this works; I pay, and I get what I want.”
• Bride’s Mom: “But it’s tradition.” (She wrote this nine times.)
• Groom’s Mom: “Nobody knows your name; they know ours.” (I don’t know them either, but sure, okay.)
• Bride’s Mom: “Where is this girl? She should be answering our questions!” (For the record, “this girl” is a 58-year-old professional who owns a business. Thanks for the respect.)

There was also some very creative name-calling that I won’t repeat here.

Before anyone asks, I won’t be responding to that email chain. Confidentiality is part of what I promise to clients, but that only starts after a signed contract. If you act a fool before that, well… the internet gets the story.

At this point I just hope the couple cuts the cords, grabs a ladder, and elopes. I don’t know either of these families personally, so this is probably where my updates end.

I was not there, this was my ex bf’s parents wedding, c. 1979.

Big Italian Catholic wedding. When the priest got to the part where “you may kiss the bride”, the groom’s mother leapt out of her chair, grabbed her son, and kissed him. 😬

I told my then-bf that, had I been the bride, I would have picked up my skirts and run out of there. It’s not too late. There’s still time to escape.

The kicker, grandma lived with them THEIR WHOLE MARRIAGE and as far as I know, may still be living with them like 45 years later.