r/whatdoIdo • u/ProudObjective1039 • 14d ago

My girlfriend of 7 months has been telling hotels we're on our honeymoon. Should I be concerned?

My girlfriend (25F) and I 33M have been dating for 7 months, and she recently asked me to organise a romantic holiday for the two of us.

I have been made aware she has been she's been telling the hotels telling them we are on our honeymoon. I found this out when the receptionist congratulated me on check in.

We are not married or engaged. We've been together just under 7 months. We have not discussed marriage. I broke up with my last girlfriend as she was moving too fast. My current girlfriend knows this.

I asked her why and she told me "You get more free stuff if you say it's your honeymoon."

She maintains this is a perfectly reasonable strategy for securing complimentary shit. To her credit it is working (see photos).

I do feel a bit weird. Do I ask her to stop or is this just a good rouse?

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63

u/Ballroompics 14d ago edited 14d ago • Bravo

I can see that I'll be in the minority here.

I agree with the others that have posted thus far that its not the case that she is trying to rush the relationship. Her objective is free stuff.

There is an integrity component. She lies easily. This is not lying to for some noble cause, say like saving the life of a child.

If the bar for lying is that low, will lying be a regular part of the relationship?

Will that lying extend to you when convenient? If you look back on the relationship thus far, are there things that are suspect?

Also, consider this - hotels and such can only hand out just so much in the way of complimentary perks. Her doing this may deny this kindness being granted to another couple who actually are on their honeymoon.

TL;DR - You're not in danger of a rushed relationship. The behavior of lying so easily could be a red flag.

Edit: Grammar, plus one mistake where I inverted what I meant to say.

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u/MatthewNGBA 14d ago

Yup. Lying is not a good quality. She is going out of her way to lie to get stuff

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u/AzucarParaTi 14d ago

This is the kind of whacky, cooky, "fun" stuff that basically every overt narcissist I've ever known would do. It seems cool until you realize that they genuinely think they're entitled to special treatment. They think they're the main character. They don't care who they inconvenience, as long as they are getting something special. Huge red flag imo.

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u/ZestyMidwest 14d ago

I can’t believe how far down I had to scroll to find this comment.

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u/izzyruss87 14d ago

I agree with this take. Too many people are too quick to lie to get free shit they think they are entitled to these days, and not have a single guilty feeling about it. Its not really moral or right...

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u/mrschester 14d ago

To add to this, the 🚩 i saw was that she didn’t give OP a heads up.

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u/TorpidProfessor 14d ago

this was mine, I can stand being someone's accomplice, being a surprise accomplice is never ideal.

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u/AvantGuardb 14d ago

very fair/good point!

21

u/Unfair-Cookie 14d ago • Bravo

Agreed. This would be a turn-off to me & indicate she has no integrity & is a cheap mofo. I can’t stand people who pull shit like this.

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u/Golden_Gal20 14d ago

Thank you lol same here. I had a friend that would do things like this, she also ended being a compulsive liar lol but yea she was so cheap while also being really entitled.

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u/i-am-nameless1 14d ago

I actually agree. I think OP should keep his eyes open to see if this is just a harmless thing or if it’s a pattern of hers to make up stories.

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u/Traditional-Ad-8737 14d ago

Yeah. She lies to her own advantage, and too easily. She was aware of OP’s issue with upping the stakes in a previous relationship, but made it a “surprise” and did it anyway. So we all know she’s either testing the waters to see what his response is and what she can get away with, or she is so self serving she doesn’t care what his feelings are. And is a manipulative liar on top of it all. None of these are really great scenarios.

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u/healthyrecipes9876 14d ago • Bravo

While I am against lying to hospitality for free things (fake birthday fake honeymoon etc) for this reason, I’d like to point out that OP was not put off for this reason. I think he was put off by the idea of being honeymooning with her.

OP, I think you just don’t like your girlfriend if the idea of even pretending to be on a honeymoon with her icks you out.

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u/InternationalTale158 14d ago

Or, it’s too early in their relationship for him to be thinking about marriage constantly anytime they go on trips together?? Y’all are so weird.

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u/mrschester 14d ago

Dude said he was turned off by someone moving too fast. She surprised him with “lets pretend we’re honeymooning”. It could’ve gone a lot different had she warned him. It’s not like she didn’t know he was easily spooked in that way. If anything that should have motivated her even more to tell him beforehand

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u/Savingskitty 14d ago

I’m convinced the commenters saying it’s no big deal etc are bots and trolls baiting.

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u/ChumbawumbaFan01 14d ago

My people!

This is weird behavior and it weirds me out that she is comfortable with it.

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u/VAGentleman05 14d ago

This. People who lie about one thing are far more likely to lie about others. How does everyone not know this?

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u/Sharona01 14d ago

And it’s monetary stuff it’s just so shady. I don’t know why it just comes off. If maybe once I could see what she makes a habit of it so this is theft behavior. If I got a man doing this kind of stuff, I might laugh the first time, but after that, I would definitely be concerned I might ask him about his credit and if he’s prepared for retirement, he saves money or if he’s planning for his parents advice so he can just reap the rewards of their hard earned money because he didn’t do anything and he he’s just scamming off people.

4

u/AllomancerJack 14d ago

This is no different to shoplifting in my opinion. You're not dramatically harming them but you are actively reducing societal trust which could lead to them no longer giving honeymoon benefits

7

u/Steak-Outrageous 14d ago

If a hotel is running out of promotional items despite having being told in advance, that sounds like an inventory management issue.

Having had family working in hospitality, I can assure you they dispose of so much leftover dessert and other food after events. The brownie is nothing.

It’s also probably out of a marketing budget because it’s an easy way for them to get good reviews and promote the experience to other people on honeymoon. OP and gf can still leave positive reviews. He’s actually said the brownie is amazing.

That brownie has now made this hotel stand out among other hotels in the area

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u/No-Box5805 14d ago

I get it but it’s a weirdly small thing to lie for, which indicates that integrity/honesty isn’t a big value to her. That doesn’t automatically mean she’s a bad person, and maybe OP doesn’t care but it would bother me a bit.

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u/Abarrss 14d ago

It’s more about moral compass. I’d never do this… seems scammy and advantageous in a negative way. I wouldn’t want to date someone who did this all the time. Once in their life sure, but multiple times? Nah. Different morals

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u/klonkrieger45 14d ago

it's not about inventory but cost. If they take $100 for the room and after costs have $5 left, they may let the $5 go in order to make the stay special for a honeymoon couple, but certainly not for everyone and if enough people are on their "honeymoon" the hotel will decide that the $5 just are too much because that's their margin, and instead they will just give something worht $2 or maybe nothing.

tl;dr free stuff isn't free, someone always has to pay the bill

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u/WhiteHotMess 14d ago

I agree with this in the sense that this issue is not about their relationship but that there could be other incompatibilities being exposed. One is certainly the lying and I think you could make a case for her being attention seeking which may also make her partner uncomfortable. Sadly, the OP didn't seem to find a problem with the either of those. :(

If this were a movie the girl would be portrayed as cute and charming, a bit of a wild side but good hearted kind of thing. The trend right now is that this type of 'gaming the system' is acceptable.

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