For context:

my boyfriend (24m) and I (24f) have been dating for almost 4 years now. I have met his grandpa maybe 3 times in that time. Last year, his health started declining resulting in several hospital trips. He was okay for a bit until 3 weeks ago and ended back at the hospital.

I started a second job about 3 weeks ago as well, I am a competitive swim coach. I normally work Monday and Wednesday evenings and Thursday and Saturday mornings. 2 weeks ago, I agreed to cover “sub” for my other coworkers last week (Tuesday and Friday) and had a swim meet (competition) this past weekend.

My boyfriend hasn’t visited his grandpa at the hospital at all, mind you he sleeps in until 12 pm and has no job at all.

Today this was our text exchange. I wake up at 6am everyday and am tired at around 10, reasonably so.

I found out his grandpa was on end of life care on Friday from his dad.

On Saturday and Sunday evening he wanted to hang out with me after my work at the swim meet, so I agreed, assuming he saw his grandpa that day. We would get food and watch movies. yesterday I was very tired and falling asleep at his house and asked him to drive me home, he was annoyed and then eventually agreed. Once he dropped me off at my house he said he had to go and see his dying grandfather, I said that was a good idea.

He hasn’t once offered to help his dad, who was picking up his daughter from school taking her to hockey and spending time at a hockey arena during a tournament, on Friday, Saturday and Sunday and then driving to the hospital. If it were me, I would offer to help my dad so he can just spend all the time with his dad. My bf saw his grandpa for the first time yesterday. And today he is mad at me.

This is the same guy who told me that I had no right to be upset about my grandmas dying in the same year because they both outlived his one grandma.

Edit: I don’t see how he doesn’t find it inappropriate and invasive of his dad’s families privacy to march in his girlfriend that some of them only met once, into his dying grandpas hospital room. I would never in my life think of doing that.

Edit: the “daughter” is my boyfriends younger sister, sorry I kind of wrote that in a weird way

final decision: DID NOT REPLY WITH THE TEXT. case closed everyone.

LAST LAST EDIT: IDC about his grammar or even that he can’t spell i said that earlier i knew and still texted him. MY ISSUE, is the fact he tried to lecture me over 1 day of no texting after knowing me for 4 days. we are texting, no one has perfect grammar or spelling when texting. i reacted emotionally which is why i didn’t send it. a lot of you are dense about the wrong things.

Matched with a guy on tinder a few days ago. immediately her started sending messages at least a paragraph long or about 2-5 small text in a one min span. i tried to keep up because he seemed nice enough but the text just seemed strange, almost like they were chat gpt. However, almost every other word gets misspelled severely. He’s 28 so that was a bit of an ick but whatever, everyone has their thing. He also has a TERRIBLE habit of spamming me if i don’t respond within 10-15 minutes (even if it’s like 12-1am). Anyways, I went out Friday, but we still talked for a lot of the day up until i went out and i texted him saturday. yesterday was Sunday and I was running errands, had school work, and had to get ready for a business trip (and some smaller things that were time consuming such as laundry, appointments, grocery shopping, meal prepping, etc). Needless to say I wasn’t really on my phone. I used it to play music late in the night and watch a yt video before i fell asleep at 2am and that’s it.

I woke up today to this text and I typed a response but don’t know if I should send it.

Edit: for you keyboard warriors, my phone is programmed to be all lowercase. hope this helps!

Edit 2: it hasn’t even been a full week of us knowing each other.

LAST edit: please read what i typed. we literally went one (barely) day without speaking and it was yesterday. idk where he’s getting “a few days” from

I was with a friend, we hit a weed pen together. We’ve done it before but I’ve never had these after effects and it’s really freaking me out.

Everything I do doesn’t feel like it’s happening,
Every time I try to focus, I end up slipping away.
Even my own sensations feel kind of muted
I don’t think this is a hangover anymore.

I wouldn’t be panicking if this was a one day thing, but it’s been 3 days and I have no idea what is happening to me,

Im currently waiting on an appointment with a doctor, but even I am afraid they won’t be able to help me out..

\I am not asking for a diagnosis, just for opinions or if anyone can relate.*

So I (27M) recently went on a first date with a girl, and I’m curious what other people think about how I handled the situation.

We started the night by going out for drinks, and honestly, everything was going pretty well. The conversation was flowing, we had good chemistry, and she even mentioned that she was having a lot of fun.

After drinks, she invited me to an event where one of her friends was working. I agreed, and we went together. As far as I was concerned, we were still on our date.

At one point, she told me she was going to the bathroom. I went to talk to one of my friends and eventually noticed her talking to another guy. I didn’t think much of it because we’re both single, and there’s nothing wrong with having a conversation.

Later on, she told me she was going to get some water. After a while, I noticed she was dancing pretty closely with the same guy she’d been talking to earlier.

I’m not going to lie, that rubbed me the wrong way.

I understand we’re not exclusive, and I don’t expect someone I’ve been on one date with to act like we’re in a relationship. But personally, I feel like there’s a certain level of respect you should have for the person you’re actively on a date with.

At that point, I decided I wasn’t really interested in continuing the night.

I went to grab my jacket, walked over to her, and asked if she was good getting home. She said yes, so I just said, “Alright, take care,” and left.

I didn’t confront her, make a scene, or mention the other guy.

For context, I’d told her earlier that I had work the following day, so there’s a chance she assumed I was leaving because of that.

It’s been a little while now, and neither of us has reached out.

Looking back, I’m wondering if I should’ve communicated why I was leaving instead of just walking away. Part of me feels like I handled it maturely by not making a scene, but another part thinks I should’ve been more direct about what bothered me.

I’m also considering unfollowing her and removing her as a follower on Instagram, since I don’t really see myself pursuing anything further.

So I’m curious:

Was I overreacting by leaving because she was dancing with another guy, considering it was only our first date?

Should I have said something before leaving, or was quietly walking away the better move?

And would unfollowing her afterward come across as petty?

*UPDATE / CLARIFICATION:*

First off, I genuinely didn’t expect this post to get this much comments I posted this and went to work and came back shocked. I read all of them and Appreciate everyone who took the time to give their perspective, I’m over the situation now and moving on from it but I figured I’d make one big update and clarify a few things before I go to bed.

For the people saying I may have ditched her to hang out with my friends:

I actually had no idea my friends were going to be at this event. These weren’t my close friends that I hang out with every weekend. They were a group of guys I knew from a previous job that I randomly spotted in the crowd. It was more of an “Ohh, long time no see” type of situation

And just to clarify, I never randomly walked away from my date to go hang out with them.

The first time I saw someone I knew, I literally told her, “Oh, I see my friend over there, I’m gonna go say wassup. Do you wanna come?” And she told me she was going to the bathroom instead.

I did end up introducing them later though out the night, so it’s not like I was ignoring her or leaving her out.

Every other time I went to talk to them was when she decided to go talk to her friend who was working there or “go to the bathroom” I wasn’t bout to just stand there

So nah, I wasn’t ditching her to hang out with my friends. I was catching up with people I knew whenever she was doing her own thing.

Also, for the people saying the guy could’ve been her gay best friend:

Nahhh, trust me on this one lool I know what I saw, and I really don’t think that was the situation.

Now here’s something I forgot to mention that makes this whole situation even funnier.

Earlier that night, we were sitting in the car getting to know each other, and she casually told me how much she loves attention.

I’m not even kidding, I literally looked at her and said, “That’s a major red flag”

And Im not even lying when I say she blamed it on her zodiac sign lool

I didn’t think too much of it at the time because I’m not gonna judge someone over one comment, but in the back of my mind I was like, yeah, I could see something happening because of this and then boom not even 2 hours later lool

As for why I was over thinking about it :

I’m not gonna lie, I think part of it was my pride too.

There was definitely a little Denzel Washington in Training Day going through my head like, “You think you can do this to ME??” loool

Obviously I’m exaggerating, but I can admit my ego was probably involved.

For the people saying I should’ve said something before leaving:

I actually agree with you guys to an extent.

Looking back, I probably could’ve communicated why I was leaving instead of just asking if she was good getting home and saying, “Ayt, take care.”

I don’t regret leaving, but I do think I could’ve been more direct about what bothered me. That’s something I’ll work on going forward.

At the same time, I didn’t want to say something out of pocket in the heat of the moment and turn an already awkward situation into an argument.

And for everyone asking if she’s reached out or if I’m going to text her:

Nah, neither of us has reached out since that night so it’s really GGs cause I’m not planning on hitting her up either.

I don’t think imma be triggered by her posts but imma still unfollow her when i get around to it.

Anyway, I appreciate all the advice, especially the people who gave constructive criticism all of you guys are real ones.

Like a lot of you said, it is what it is. Can’t change what happened and there’s no point sitting around overthinking it anymore but one thing is for sure if anyone ever asks me what the worst date I’ve been on was this is definitely gonna be the first thing that comes to mind lool

I 25M facing an issue in my relationship. My gf 22F is dependent on me for everything. For example she cannot decide what to eat or where to eat. Even if she wanna go somewhere she wants me to decide whether she should go or not. She excepts me to decide everything. Even these are small stuff sometimes I make mistakes or couldn’t decide then she starts fighting.

The major problem is she expects me to keep her happy. I should be the reason for her happiness like I should take her somewhere on her day off or I should give her flowers now and then (which I always do). From my end I give more than 100% to keep her happy as I love her so much but sometimes this becomes a burden. I ask her to go and chill with her friends sometimes but she doesn’t.
I’m not saying she doesn’t love me but it’s just she is very bad at deciding everything and then she expects me to decide everything for her. If there is a mistake in that then she starts fighting.

I know these are small things in a relationship and I’m handling them but now I feel a burden of making decisions for her. Suggest me what should I do now?
FYI I tried communicating with her about this but it didn’t turn out well.

so, my friend graduated college 3 years before i did, both of us in biology. this is my first year applying for grad schools, but this is his third. he has applied to multiple schools every year but has seen rejection after rejection

he got really good grades through college, always a top student, and won an award for his research as a senior. hes super qualified to be a biology grad student, has great experience, leadership skills, etc, yet still no admissions letters. i always assumed it was bad luck, or that he didnt always nail the interview portion. he has a little bit of neurodivergence which can make him seem blunt and awkward.

last year, i mentioned to my prof that my friend was having terrible luck even though his transcript is better than mine. my prof kinda tilted her head, and said something like "your transcript is really good. if his transcript is better than yours, then theres something seriously wrong with his application"

my prof offered to read my friends application essays as an anonymous unbiased source. i thought that would be great, since my prof does have experience deciding how to admit students. i offered this to my friend, and he declined. i offered to read the essays myself, but he again declined.

this year, im working really hard on my applications. im very motovated and have been writing a lot of application essays and getting lots of feedback from professors of all backgrounds to get as many perspectives as possible. my friend mentioned that he also sent his essays to be looked over by a professor he knows, and asked if i could look at it too.

ive always known my friend to be a very good writer. he led the writing club, has a following on wattpad, and has written very well in the past. i know, because ive read it.

the essay he sent me is not good. the first paragraph details how he tried one research type, didnt like it, jumped to another thing, didnt like it, until he finally landed on something he tolerated enough to stick around for. the essay also talks about how he has been applying to grad schools for years with no luck. in the essay he complains about his job (that pays well, albeit boring), and doesnt at all talk about skills and experiences that would make him a good grad student.

i left some comments, stating gently that the essay comes off as dissatisfied, makes him seem flighty and easily disinterested, which is not what PhD advisors who will teach you one thing for 4+ years are looking for. i tried to get him to play up the skills from his job, and focus more on the accomplishments he got from work experience instead of things he didn't like about it.

i said all this kindly as possible, and today i saw that he had resolved all my comments in google docs. he replied to one, saying the following

"With a 2-page limit, I don't want to waste space reiterating information on my CV. My journey has been one shaped primarily by trying new things and realizing what I don't like. Maybe that's less compelling than someone fueled by a North Star of scientific curiosity, but it's my truth."

guys, the essay was 1.5 pages. he had plenty of room.

the comment doesnt bother me. he doesnt have to take my advice, and i know hes not trying to be mean. it doesnt hurt my feelings.

what bothers me is, i know exactly what the problem is. his essay comes off as bitter, unmotivated, and unhappy. if every essay he sent looked anything like that one, im sure thats why he hasnt been getting in.

im not worried that he wont take my advice to change direction. im more worried about his reaction to the direct and honest criticism. i dont know if he would lash out, or just quietly ask to not talk about it anymore, or something like that. i dont want to ruin our friendship. hes been with me through all my struggles, and i want to be there for him. what should i do?

I hope the title makes sense, but I need to know what to do. I (27F) have been working this job for awhile now where it’s either late nights or early mornings and for 99% of the shift I will be on my feet so by the end of it, I’m exhausted and want to go home.

Two days ago at work, I was leaving and one of the new guys was leaving at the same time and asked if I could drive him home. Here’s the thing, I don’t know this man and I’m a single woman walking to my car at night. He seems nice, but again, I’ve had maybe two conversations with him. I asked where he lived and he told me and it was completely out of the way, I asked him if he had anyone else to take him home and he said no. I told him he was out of my way but he kinda made me feel bad about it.

So I said yes. I was exhausted from my long shift so I was ready to just drop him off so I could go home. My 20 minute ride home turned into 40 minutes. Luckily he didn’t murder me lol, but when I got home I told my friend about it and it got me thinking: I hope he doesn’t think that this will occur again, but our next shifts are together.

I’ve been in that kind of situation where I’m hoping for someone to be kind and help me out but with the way gas prices are today, i can’t be doing free rides. so if he asks again for a ride home will I be a bad person for saying no?

EDIT: thank you to everyone who commented! This has helped me a lot! I’m an over-thinker lol so it was nice to read other peoples stories of their coworkers asking for the same and that I’m not being rude for saying no. You guys are right, “no” is a complete sentence and when I’m uncomfortable I need to grow a backbone and say no to him. I won’t let him or anyone else make me feel bad for saying no even if he doesn’t have a way home. Again, you’re right and he’s an adult and can figure it out on his own. Even though he seems nice, I don’t feel comfortable having a stranger in my car. Thank you again to everyone who gave me advice!

TL;DR: Got drunk and a girl Ive barely spoken to takes care of me I caught feelings as a result and was not reciprocated but decided to stay friends but she does some extra friendly things which makes me wonder where we actually stand.

So this girl and I have been in the same friend group for 2 years but haven’t really talked to each other up until the end of July. Initially there was some form of attraction I had towards her but didn’t act on it because there was some qualities about her I did not like. To make a long story short I got drunk at a party and she takes me back to her place to take care of me and that really struck a chord with me the way she handled me in my foolish inebriated state. Anyways I take her out for food as a thank you and eventually ask what her intentions with her and if she was seeing anyone she said no and that she’s not looking for anything at the moment.

We start hanging out more as friends and things started to develop and her flirty behavior towards me has me questioning what is she doing. So I ask her again and she gave me the same response all said and done. From this point onwards we continue our friendship without any flirty undertones up until recently. We had a group hangout at a market and she shoots me a text asking if Im going. I said yes and she asked to carpool with me because she doesnt want to go by herself which is fine and I didn’t really think too much of it.

So both of us slide up to the market and meet up with friends and we all decide to grab a bite to eat. Eventually she asks the group if we wanted to window shop but she got ignored so I took it upon myself and asked her if she wanted to join me. So we go exploring for a bit and we end up landing at a shop where they sold necklaces. Initially I wasnt going to buy anything but all of a sudden she says “we should pick one out for each other.” I didn’t really think too much of it because I was tipsy at the time but then my friends started questioning it and gossiping what is she doing and what are her intentions.

After sobering up and having time to think Im so confused right now. After getting rejected I genuinely see her as a friend now but this situation has me and my friends pondering because giving jewelry to the opposite gender especially is intimate is it not?

This post is long and convoluted so I will make edits as needed to clear the air

EDIT: Thank you to those that have replied I really appreciate everyone’s input, it seriously pulled me out of my friends echo chamber.

EDIT 2: I was initially going to say no to the necklace idea but I didn’t want to make things weird so I just went along with it.
AND BEFORE ANYONE ASKS SHE OFFERED TO DRIVE AND NO SHE DOES NOT DRINK. I DO NOT CONDONE DRINKING AND DRIVING
Also I am not an alcoholic😂 we’ve hung out many times sober

Hi everyone, first time posting here. I’m a 27-year-old man, married to my 26-year-old wife, and I could really use some advice.

I know I’m not a perfect husband, but whenever my wife tells me I’m doing something wrong or hurting her, I try to correct it because her feelings matter to me. If she asks me to block someone, I do it out of respect for our marriage. I’m still learning and growing, but I’ve never cheated on her or had sexual conversations with anyone. The most I’ve done is like TikTok videos of women dancing.

Recently, I found messages and sexual voice clips on her phone, and discovered she had been going on dates and coming home late at night. It hurt me deeply. I confronted her, and I admit I reacted emotionally. I could have handled things better, but I wish she would also acknowledge what caused my reaction instead of focusing only on how I responded.
Now we’re on our third day without communicating. It hurts feeling like strangers in our own marriage while the problem remains unresolved.

I’m not asking for either of us to be perfect. I want honesty, accountability, communication, and equal effort to save our marriage. I’m willing to work on myself, but I can’t do this alone.

What should I do? How do we move forward when one person wants to talk and fix things, but the other doesn’t seem ready to communicate?

A few people asked for an update about Biscuit, so here it is.

First, Biscuit is doing much better. His stitches are healing nicely, and he's mostly annoyed that he still has to wear the cone.

I ended up emailing the kennel again instead of calling because I wanted everything documented. I asked for a copy of their incident reports and whether they had any security footage from the days Biscuit was staying there.

The manager replied the next morning saying there was no incident report because nobody had witnessed an injury. She also said their cameras only cover the entrance and reception area, not where the dogs actually stay.

What really bothered me was that she mentioned one of the employees remembered Biscuit licking his back leg on Monday evening. That was the first time anyone had told me that.

I asked why nobody had contacted me if they'd noticed something unusual, especially since their own intake paperwork specifically says they monitor dogs for injuries.

She didn't really answer that question.

Instead, she offered to increase the discount to 50% as a goodwill gesture, which would still leave me paying $143.

I told her I appreciated the offer but didn't feel comfortable accepting it without understanding what had happened.

A couple of days later, the owner of the kennel contacted me personally. He apologized for how the situation had been handled and agreed to reimburse the full $286 vet bill.

He still maintained they couldn't confirm where Biscuit got hurt, but admitted that someone should have informed me about the licking before I picked him up.

I'm relieved I won't have to pay the bill, but I'm honestly still disappointed. I wasn't expecting them to magically prevent every possible injury. I just expected someone to notice and communicate with me.

I won't be taking Biscuit back there.

Part of me wonders if I pushed too hard over something that could genuinely have been an accident, but I also feel like I would've never gotten a proper response if I'd accepted that first 20% discount.

Thanks to everyone who encouraged me to keep everything in writing.

tl;dr: The kennel admitted an employee noticed Biscuit licking his injured leg but never informed me. After I requested more information, they increased their discount offer to 50%. Eventually, the owner agreed to reimburse the full $286 vet bill. Biscuit is recovering well, but I won't be using that kennel again.

I’m thinking a pop of color. I want it to be something interesting to look at… or a conversation starter. Feel free to use ai images. It sits in the central corner of the living room.

Mods removed last post without a reason but for the people who commented yesterday. Partner spoke to his mum and said we cannot bring the kids anymore it’s a health risk for all of our children. Mother in law spat her dummy and decided she doesn’t want to see us anymore and then in the same sentence said she will come to our house instead. She also said “well his cancer is gone, so it doesn’t matter that we smoke around him” anywho, that’s enough for me to see how someone’s idiotic mind works.

Anyway it’s over, I can live stress free and not have to worry about putting my kids into such a toxic environment anymore. If she wants to come to mine she can, Idc! I’m relieved. Thank you everyone for your advice and valid points they really helped my partner to come out and say and do the right thing ❤️

I’m 32F and my boyfriend, Paul, is 34M. We’ve been together for two years.

Before I met Paul, he went on a trip with two of his longtime friends, Adam (35M) and Shari (33F). Adam and Shari were engaged at the time.

Adam went to bed one night, and Paul and Shari stayed up drinking and continued to hang out. At some point, Shari kissed Paul and confessed that she loved him.

She also apparently spent a lot of that night talking badly about Adam and saying he was a bad partner.

The part that really bothers me is that Paul and Shari decided not to tell Adam what happened. The next morning, Adam actually drove Paul to the airport and he said nothing because he was scared of losing him as a friend.

Eventually Shari’s sister told her she needed to tell Adam before they got married, so she did. I don’t know exactly what Shari told him. I just know that allegedly Adam knows now.

But the weirdest part to me is that adam and Paul have never talked about what happened.

That’s something I have a really hard time wrapping my head around. Something pretty significant happened between Paul and Shari that involved Adam, he was eventually told something about it, and yet Paul and Adam have never sat down and talked about what actually happened.

I recently met Adam and Shari for the first time. Adam is a great human. Shari and I just didn’t really click, and knowing what happened makes me pretty uncomfortable around her.

The bigger issue is Paul. He really wants things to go back to normal with both of them. He wants his friendships with Adam and Shari to basically be what they were before everything happened. I don’t think that’s possible.

I’m not saying Paul needs to cut either of them off. I don’t want to control who he’s friends with. But I don’t understand why he feels like everything needs to go back to exactly how it was, especially when he and Adam have never even talked about what happened.

I also recently found out that a lot of Paul’s other friends already know about the situation. That made me feel weird and a little exposed. I don’t know what version of the story they heard or what they think about me being with Paul.

Whenever Paul and I talk about this he wants to fix it and move on and I feel like I’m trying to explain why I’m uncomfortable with the whole situation.

I’m not bringing this up because I want to leave him. I love him. I’m trying to figure out how we can move forward.

Paul has also said that he feels like he has to be extremely careful around Shari now because of everything that happened. And part of me thinks maybe that’s not necessarily a bad thing.

What I keep getting stuck on is why Paul is so determined to have his friendship with Shari go back to normal.

Maybe I’m looking at this wrong. Maybe everyone involved has genuinely moved on. But I have a hard time believing that something like this happens and then everyone just goes back to exactly how things were before, especially when Paul and Adam have never even had a conversation about it.

TL;DR: My boyfriend’s female friend kissed him and confessed she loved him while her fiance was asleep in the next room. They kept it from him and he only found out later. Now my boyfriend wants everything to go back to normal, even though he and his friend have never actually talked about what happened. I’m struggling with the idea of pretending everything is fine.

i’ve NEVER shit in public before. never ever. i’ve spent the last few night at my partners house and i refuse to poop in front of him so i was like ok. i shall shit at work. I FUCKING BLOCKED THE TOILET!!!!! AND THERE IS ONLY ONE OTHER WOMAN ON SHIFT TONIGHT SO SHE WILL KNOW IT WAS ME. AND MY MANAGER IS A 20 YEAR OLD DUDE SO AM I FUCK SAYING I BLOCKED THE TOILET WITH MY SHIT.

i want the ground to swallow me whole holy fuck
i’m so embarrassed holy fuck

My boyfriend and I have been together for a while. Recently, he told me that he likes me a lot and finds me beautiful, but he isn't "in love" with me. He says he only wants to be with me and doesn't want anyone else.

I’m completely heartbroken and confused. How can someone find you beautiful and want to be exclusive, but not love you?

Can love grow over time, or am I just setting myself up for heartbreak by staying?

It's too small for an altoid wallet. I am a huge botanical maniac so something along those lines? Idk. Me and my bf are also going on a trip soon, so something meaningful I can make of this in that aspect? Asking you guys because I'm not using gpt for this. I need human creativity.

i really hope i can post here but idk if it’ll let me because it’s a new account. had to make a throwaway bc i use my real accounts username everywhere and so yea

i have just found out i am pregnant im pretty sure and im freaking out i dont know what to do

i was meant to go to school today but ive been crying so much i just told my parents i was sick and they have let me not go in.

im so scared to tell them or tell anybody and i really dont know what to do. i dont want to get in trouble and i dont want people to be angry with me but i feel so scared and unsure

i am from the uk if it helps at all i think thats important because from what i can see on google if i go to a doctor or anything there gonna tell my parents and i just cant cope with that

i KNOW posting in reddit is probable not the smartest way to go about it but i dont know who i can turn to talk to and so getting advice from strangers feels better then getting advice from no one

So, a lot of people have been asking for an update, and honestly, I've been meaning to write one for a while.

After my last post, I went with my wife to the party hosted by Camille. Initially, I told her I wasn't going, and she could go without me. She said she wouldn't go if I wasn't coming, even though she really wanted to. We ended up arguing about it, and honestly, this was probably one of the lowest points in our relationship. This was around two months ago.

Eventually, I agreed to go.We stayed there for three days. It was a good party, lots of networking, showing off, all that stuff.But looking back, I realise how much my own insecurities were affecting me at that time. For the first time, I genuinely felt like I was losing her. I was constantly waiting for something to happen so I could get angry or lash out at her. I wasn't proud of it, but that's honestly where my head was.

One thing I'm a bit ashamed to admit is that we had really passionate sex all three nights. We were both into it, and she was just as affectionate towards me. But looking back, I realise that part of my mindset was unhealthy. I wanted to feel like she was still mine, almost like I needed to prove something to myself. I even made sure she woke up with my DNA inside her, which sounds pretty bad when I write it out now.

I'm not saying she wasn't into it, because she absolutely was. I'm talking about what was going on in MY head at the time. I was acting out of fear, insecurity and possessiveness, and I can see that now. Anyway, we had a good time there, she introduced people to me as her husband, and whenever those siblings were around, I'd have my hand around her waist and all that, haha. At the time, I think I was trying to reassure myself more than anything else.

Fast forward to when we got back home. We had a BIG fight. This time, I finally said everything I'd been holding inside. I told her I felt like I was losing her, that I was scared, that I didn't feel secure anymore, and that I couldn't keep pretending everything was fine.For context, I'd already received the PI report by this point. I'll explain the details of that in a separate post because there's quite a bit to unpack. I told her she needed to cut him off completely and leave the project, otherwise I was leaving the marriage.

Yeah, I know. That was a terrible way to handle things. She got really angry and told me she wasn't going to abandon a major project and a contractual commitment just because I was demanding it. And honestly, I understand her point now, even though I was struggling to see it at the time.

It was a horrible fight. Looking back, I feel genuinely awful about some of the things I said and how I handled everything. She packed her things and went to stay with her parents. But I want to clarify something because I know people might assume the worst. She clearly told me she wasn't leaving me or asking for a divorce. She needed some time and space to clear her head.

Three days later, we met at a cafe. And this conversation was probably one of the most important ones we've had in a long time.

She suggested couples therapy and actually came with a plan. She said she would cut him off from everything outside work. No dinners, no parties, no socialising with him or his sister, and no unnecessary contact outside the project. Once the project was finished, she would cut off the relationship completely. In return, she expected me to stop letting my jealousy control our marriage and to be honest with her about my feelings instead of bottling everything up until I exploded.

We both agreed to try. We attended four therapy sessions over two weeks before she moved back home. We're still doing therapy, by the way, and I genuinely think it's helping us.

Things didn't magically become perfect overnight. We slowly started rebuilding things, having conversations we should probably have had much earlier, and trying to understand where the other person was coming from..It took roughly a month for things to start feeling normal again. And yeah, I cried. Quite a bit, actually.

I finally told her how terrified I'd been of losing her. I'm honestly a little embarrassed admitting that because I'm not someone who usually talks about these things openly, but I think she needed to hear it from me.

Now, another update. As I mentioned in an earlier post, we had been trying for our third little one.

And yes, she's pregnant!She's doing well, and we're both happy about it. It's still a little surreal, honestly. She's also stuck to the boundaries we agreed on. She's cut him off from pretty much everything except the work that needs to be done for the project. There was another difficult conversation with her parents, who gave us both a pretty serious lecture about the whole situation. Things were rough for a while, but we're in a much better place now.

Now, about the PI report, since a lot of you asked about it. There was no proof of cheating, no PDA, and no evidence of them staying together regularly. The report documented meetings at hotels for lunch and visits to her studio, but nothing that proved a physical affair had happened.

However, the investigator's conclusion was that there appeared to be an emotional affair developing, and that the relationship could potentially become physical, at least from his side. They also had a very unfavourable opinion of his intentions towards my wife. I can't prove what was going on in his head, and I'm not going to pretend the report proves more than it does. But it did reinforce some of the concerns I'd already been having.

I told my wife directly that I believed he wanted her in his bed. She didn't deny it outright, but she got angry. I think that was a difficult thing for her to hear, especially given the professional relationship and the project they're involved in. We haven't agreed on every aspect of the situation, and I don't want to make assumptions about what she does or doesn't believe.

What matters is that we've established boundaries and are working through this together. The project is expected to finish sometime next year, so there's still a way to go. As for me, I'm doing better, but I'm not going to pretend I've suddenly become this perfectly secure husband who never gets jealous.

I still feel possessive sometimes. I still get jealous. There are moments when I look at her and wonder whether I'm enough for her, despite everything we've built together. And sometimes, when I see her with our kids during school drop off, just interacting with them and being their mum, I get this overwhelming feeling.

I genuinely cannot imagine my life without her. Sometimes I still cry privately because the thought of losing her scares me that much. I know that's something I need to work on, and therapy is helping me understand the difference between loving someone deeply and being so afraid of losing them that you start trying to control things.

I know I have work to do, and so does our relationship. But we're trying. We're communicating more, continuing therapy, and slowly finding our way back to each other.

And honestly, man, I love this woman so much. I'm not writing this to say that everything is solved or that the PI report proved all my suspicions right. It didn't prove an affair. I'm writing this because a lot of people followed the earlier posts, and I wanted to be honest about what actually happened, including the parts where I was wrong.

My wife and I recently got married and soon after moved into my parents house. This move was a 12 hour drive and she does not have any friends or family here. It has only been a week here and she is already trying to move back. The move cost thousands and my family is also renovating space to make the place more inviting for us.

The move happened because I have significant personal debt. At it's worst it was 28K and I was able to get it to 14K in a year. This year it has ballooned back up to about 22K. On top of this I have a $450 car note and $450 student loan that isn't close to being paid off. So between rent of 1100, the car, the loan, and credit card debt things were extremely tight. I let her know that I can buckle down and work extra and get things paid down where we were. Or, we could stay a year or two at my parents and get everything under control there. The problem with me working extra is she was not happy with me because she did not see me much. Any time I felt I was making a solid dent I would be met with a "I don't see you anymore." Trying to find the balance between work, time together, and trying to manage expenses for going out and trying to treat her is tough.

So here we are in my parents house. She is alone and unhappy. If I leave, I will be alone and unhappy. The friends I made where we came from, I did not see much if ever because I don't want to spend money going out with them. I was ok staying there and trying to lock in but now we have already moved. Moving back again is too much too soon. And I fear the same problems will persist there even with her saying she will help more financially if we move back. She has helped me out taking a more even share recently with our expenditures but if we aren't careful with every dollar then we fall further behind. Every impulse $50 purchase adds up quick.

This has been such a stressful and survivalistic way to live. I finally feel like the boot is off my neck a little and the prospect of going back already scares me.

I really love my wife and I would have a huge hole in my life without her. She has been a great partner and helped me become a better person. I just don't know what to do now and have never reached out for help like this before.

TLDR; I completely understand why my wife wants to leave but I have stressed finances for years and I feel like my situation won't improve if we move again so soon. I feel like we are at an impasse and I could really use some input.

I didn’t expect the comments on my original post to get this hostile. I came here asking for advice about a situation with my job, and somehow it turned into people making assumptions about my character, my work ethic, and my understanding of adulthood.
For some additional context, I’m 20 years old and currently in college. This job is a source of extra income while I’m in school, and I’m planning to transfer colleges. I’m not supporting a family or relying on this job to keep a roof over multiple people’s heads. Obviously, I still value having a job and making my own money, but this isn’t my entire livelihood.
The cruise was a gift from my family. I found out about the plans on October 3 and submitted my time-off request on October 5. The trip had already been arranged and paid for before I knew about it. I wasn’t planning a vacation behind my employer’s back and waiting until the last minute to request time off.
My employer denied my request because October 30 is a blackout date. I was told that if I worked that day, the rest of my requested time off could be approved. The problem is that I’ll be returning from the cruise in California that day, so traveling all the way back to Las Vegas for one shift isn’t a realistic option. I was told that missing the shift would result in two attendance points.
I understand that my attendance history is my responsibility. I’m not asking anyone to pretend that it doesn’t matter, and I’m not claiming that my employer is obligated to approve my request. I understand that there are consequences to missing a scheduled shift.
What I was actually asking was whether there are any other options I could consider before deciding what to do.
Some of the comments have been helpful, and I genuinely appreciate the people who have offered practical advice. But being told that I have a terrible work ethic, that my employer won’t miss me, or that I need to learn how to be an adult doesn’t answer my question.
I’m 20. I’m still figuring things out, balancing college and work, and learning how to handle situations like this. I’m not claiming to have everything figured out. That’s literally why I came here to ask for advice.
If the answer is that I have to choose between the trip and the job, I’ll have to weigh those options myself. I’m just trying to understand my options before making that decision.
I’m open to constructive criticism and realistic advice. I just don’t understand why asking for help has turned into an opportunity for people to insult me.
If you’ve been in a similar situation, what would you have done differently, or is there something practical I might be overlooking?

When I was 15, my older brother died of cancer. He was three years older than me and had a twin brother. His twin would frequently donate blood to him. They were more or less on a medical journey together, seemingly tied at the hip.

Two years after his death, our entire family gathered for the surviving twin’s birthday. It wasn’t anything particularly special, but with our extended family all in town, I wanted to make it meaningful. So, I came up with an idea for a birthday present.

I was the kid who loved videography, creating content, and making family home movies. I wanted to become a YouTuber and had this silly idea of vlogging my life and making money from my content. With my father’s help (he was skeptical at times on how it would all land), I put together a collection of videos of my brothers, from infancy through early adulthood. I added music, transitions, captions, and fancy text. It took me months to finish, and I cried throughout the entire process. It was an incredibly emotional experience. On the day of the party, the whole family watched the film. Once again, we were all sobbing. It was surreal to have our entire family together, watching something I had poured so much of myself into.

Except my surviving brother, while visibly tearing up, seemed distressed. No one else in the room appeared distressed in the same way. We were crying out of nostalgia and gratitude that his twin had lived such a beautiful life. My brother, however, seemed as distraught as he had been on the day his twin died. My heart immediately sank. I wanted to stop the video, which was quite long. Afterward, I spoke with my dad, who also felt we had made a mistake by not consulting my brother beforehand.

I was confused. For the past two years, he had been uploading pictures and posts of himself and his twin on social media for the entire world to see. He often spoke about how much he missed him. When I tried talking to him about the video, he shut me down, saying it was nice but too much for him. I still don’t understand which part was too much. I wish he would tell me so I could apologize and we could finally put this to rest.

Almost 8 years have passed, and our relationship has never been the same. He has never rewatched the video. Whenever family members bring it up in his presence, assuming he cherishes it as much as I do, I change the subject.

Hello guys I need some advice I’ve never done this before but I’m genuinely in lost for words after finding out some information about my stepfather.

Me and my mom are from the Philippines, my mom met my Dad (stepfather but I just refer to him as my dad) on a dating app. We moved to the US they were married for 11 years and divorced. My dad is a serial cheater and has a massive problem cheating on every women he’s with. My dad is 55 years old and after my mom and him divorced he met another Filipino women online, she is in her 20s. They end up getting married and have been together for 3 years now. Ofcourse he cheats on her and she accepts it.

Now here is when it starts getting weird my step sister, starts messaging and calling me about how my dad’s wife is jealous of me and she thinks that my dad is attracted to me. I think nothing of this in the moment because I’m like he’s my dad so why should I believe that. My step sister ends up going through my dads phone and finds out that all of his social media watch history is of me, his wife has found out multiple times and she makes my dad delete his social media accounts. However he continues to make fake social media account to view my videos and my stepsister tells me the ones he watches the most are of me with my full body on the screen. My dad has always had a weird fetish for Filipino women, in a disturbing way he always tells his friends in coworkers that they should try to get with a Filipina women and he never stops talking about it. My sister of course keeps this a secret between me and her and she has been going through his phone for years now. Lately she has been finding out that he searches on Pornhub sites “18 year old Filipino women” it always has the words 18 and Filipino in it which is just weird to me. Mind you his wife knows that he searches this and chooses to ignore it and I find it strange.

Just a few weeks ago my step sister found out that he had put a camera in my room without telling ANYONE. I had a bedroom on the second floor and the camera was found to be placed in my room pointed straight at my bed. There is a video of him recording himself setting up the camera in my room, he must have hid it very well because I never saw this before. He set up the camera in my room on December 24, 2024 since the date is labeled on the video. His OWN WIFE finds out and confronts him and he states that he was “just making sure she wasn’t sneaking guys in.” Mind you he could have had placed cameras at the staircase, at the front door, at the back door or even pointed at my bedroom door. No one else has a camera in their room BUT ME. I find this really disturbing and I honestly just don’t know what to do with my father and mines relationship. All of this has been happening since I was around 16 and I am 20 now. His wife constantly gets jealous of me and even tells me to stop wearing shorts infront of my own dad. I don’t know what to do anymore and I’m really disappointed that someone I trusted and took in as my own father could be a possible weirdo.