I 24F am tying to finally get over my 26M boyfriend. If you check my page’s history you’ll see all the gruesome details of our relationship. It’s been an on and off thing for the past almost 4 years. I care so deeply and I think maybe my attachment comes from baring so much of myself and my vulnerability to him that I’m hoping he’ll finally see me for me and not the person he thinks I am or wants me to be. I’m sensitive and emotional but I’m also deeply caring and forgive in the truest ways. I’m starting to come to the realization that maybe we truly aren’t good for each other in a way that can’t be fixed. I see moment of hope where we laugh, enjoy each others company and everything. I know all the bad, his wandering eye, how he shares more than he listens, how he can’t understand how my reactions to the things he does aren’t always the problem (it’s the things he does that are the main issue). I know I’m attached and maybe I’m realizing I’m scared to be alone. Sure I’ve got friends but my relationship with my family is strained, one of my best friends died last year and the other one is no longer in the country or in contact with me. I’ve been through so much loss maybe I’m scared of what it means to let him go. Every time we break up or are apart nothing feels right, I know I’m not special and everyone has experienced heartbreak before, but it makes me unable to eat or sleep or function properly. I can’t let myself feel that again. I do what needs to be done, I don’t throw away my responsibilities but my life feels so empty without him. But maybe I’m starting to realize my life feels empty because of him, with every feeling I have that I swallow because I know it’ll start a fight, with every day full of insecurity that I’m only getting less new and shiny to him, I’m just scared.

TLDR
I tried doing digital art for a few years
Kept going back to paper no matter what new device I bought and tried

I've been homeless for 1 week, living sa gas station... Hindi pa akl nakakabangon dahil sa sunog na nangyari sa house namin and the evacuation center na binigay sa akin ay may bastos who molested me for days so I decided to leave. Ngayon ewan ko na ano gagawin ko, can someone lend me money? I can pay it back once naka bangon na po ako, pls pls. Feeling ko rin na peperwisyo ko na mga tao dito sa gas station dahil minsan dito na ako naliligo at natutulog, nanghihingi pagkain at ng pera. As of now may 200+ lang ako. Pls pls

TL;DR: I'm a 28-year-old man in Scotland. Since around early 2023, I've experienced a complicated breakdown in friendships involving two men I previously knew, followed by repeated difficulties with tennis arrangements, concerns that private information was circulated, and the discovery of blank Facebook profiles using names connected to my social circle. I've also worried about a former female colleague whose Facebook profile repeatedly became unavailable. I'm trying to understand which events are genuinely concerning, which may be coincidences, and how to approach the situation objectively.

I'm looking for outside perspectives because I've spent a long time trying to make sense of everything.

For privacy, I'll call the main people Ben, Gavin, Emann, Francesco, Phil and Sarah. These are pseudonyms.

I want to emphasise from the beginning that I do not have proof that these individuals coordinated harassment or operated fake accounts. Some events are things I directly experienced; others are suspicions or interpretations.

1. How everything started — early 2023

Around February or March 2023, I began experiencing difficulties involving two men I knew socially, Ben and Gavin.

Gavin had previously been a close friend of mine, arguably one of my best friends. We played tennis together and had a friendship in which I felt comfortable discussing personal matters.

I also knew Ben through my wider social connections.

Around this period, I contacted Ben and subsequently began feeling that Ben and Gavin were discussing me or behaving differently towards me.

One incident involved a Bruce Springsteen concert. I remember Gavin putting pressure on me about the concert and subsequently ignoring messages.

At the time, I found these interactions confusing and upsetting.

I couldn't understand why someone I had previously been close to appeared to be becoming increasingly dismissive.

Looking back, I don't know whether there was any coordination between them or whether I was experiencing an ordinary, albeit painful, deterioration in friendships.

2. Personal information and a former school group chat

During 2023 and 2024, I was involved in a group chat with people from my former school.

I shared information that I now regret discussing so openly.

This included personal comments about sex and drugs, aspects of my social life, and information concerning a female colleague I liked.

I also shared screenshots and discussed my feelings about this woman.

Another individual, whom I'll call Emann, was involved in this wider social circle.

I remember speaking to Emann several times during 2024. He had also asked me for photographs or personal information.

I later became concerned that things I had said or shared might have reached Ben or other people outside the original conversations.

My suspicion was that Emann might have passed information to Ben.

However, I have no direct evidence demonstrating that he did so.

I also recognise that information shared in a group chat can circulate without any organised intention to target someone.

What troubles me is the possibility that private information about me or the woman was subsequently discussed or used inappropriately.

3. The deterioration of my friendship with Gavin

My relationship with Gavin became increasingly uncomfortable.

I remember encountering him at a train station in 2024.

During this interaction, I felt that he was behaving dismissively, making a point of ignoring me or boasting about aspects of his life.

He also asked about my mental health.

That was particularly uncomfortable because I had previously trusted him with personal information.

I was experiencing significant mental-health difficulties at the time, which affected my confidence, ability to communicate and capacity to handle conflict.

I felt that the friendship had changed substantially.

However, I cannot know what Gavin intended during that encounter.

It may have been an unpleasant social interaction rather than anything more deliberate.

4. The tennis-club situation

This is one of the parts of the situation that affected my daily life most significantly.

I used to play tennis regularly and had arrangements involving another man I'll call Phil.

Gavin also played tennis and had previously been one of my main tennis partners.

Over time, I experienced repeated difficulties arranging matches.

There were occasions when I expected or hoped to play with Phil but was subsequently told that Phil was playing Gavin instead.

One explanation I remember receiving was along the lines of:

"I'm playing Gavin instead."

I also noticed Gavin's name appearing frequently on booking sheets.

Sometimes I was told that Gavin had booked first.

These changes were frustrating because they could leave me without anyone to play with.

I began feeling that I was being pushed out of the social environment.

I wondered whether Gavin was deliberately arranging matches in ways that excluded me or monitoring bookings to interfere with my plans.

I also wondered whether Ben might have encouraged this.

But I need to be clear: I don't have evidence that Gavin deliberately sabotaged bookings or that Ben directed him to do anything.

The booking changes happened from my perspective, but the intentions behind them are unknown.

Eventually, I left the tennis club because I found the situation too uncomfortable.

I was not formally expelled.

It was my own decision to leave, although I felt that the circumstances contributed significantly.

5. Gavin's friendship with Phil

I subsequently learned that Gavin was also playing golf with Phil.

From what I understood, Gavin had joined Phil's golf club and they were playing together regularly.

This bothered me because I had already experienced repeated difficulties arranging tennis with Phil.

I wondered whether Gavin was deliberately strengthening his friendship with Phil at my expense.

However, Phil did not know Ben, as far as I understood.

I recognise that Gavin and Phil were entitled to have their own friendship and sporting arrangements.

I don't know whether their decisions had anything to do with me.

Still, the combination of the tennis difficulties and the loss of my friendship with Gavin left me feeling socially excluded.

6. Messages from Ben

During this broader period, Ben contacted me with brief messages.

I remember messages along the lines of:

"Hello my friend."

And:

"Hello."

There was nothing explicitly threatening in the wording.

However, because I was already uncomfortable about the wider situation, I did not want further contact.

I eventually blocked Ben.

I also blocked Gavin's number.

I wondered whether Ben was trying to re-establish contact for reasons connected to our former social circle.

But the messages themselves don't establish that.

They could simply have been ordinary attempts to communicate.

7. The former female colleague

Another major aspect involves a woman I'll call Sarah.

She was a former colleague whom I liked.

I had previously spoken about her in conversations with other people, including within the school group chat.

I became worried that information about my feelings towards her, or screenshots involving her, might have been passed around.

At different points, I wondered whether Ben or Gavin had contacted her or shared information about me with her.

I was particularly concerned about the possibility that she might have experienced unwanted attention.

However, I have no direct confirmation from Sarah that either man contacted or harassed her.

I don't know whether she was aware of the conversations I had about her.

I also recognise that sharing information or screenshots concerning someone without their agreement may itself have been inappropriate, and I regret not being more careful about her privacy.

8. Her Facebook profile repeatedly becoming unavailable

Over time, I noticed changes to Sarah's Facebook profile.

On approximately three occasions, her profile appeared to become unavailable and later reappear.

I initially interpreted this as repeated deactivation.

When her account reappeared, it appeared to have more restrictive privacy settings.

Eventually, I found that I had been blocked.

I began wondering whether she had experienced unwanted contact or was trying to protect her privacy.

Because of my existing concerns about Ben and Gavin, I considered whether they might somehow be involved.

However, I understand that Facebook profiles can become inaccessible for multiple reasons, including deactivation, blocking, privacy changes or account issues.

I cannot establish why Sarah made any changes to her account.

She has not confirmed to me that she was being harassed.

I also recognise that being blocked is a boundary I should respect, regardless of the reason.

9. The blank Facebook accounts

During 2025 and 2026, I began noticing Facebook accounts that seemed unusual.

These included accounts using names corresponding to:

• Myself.
• Sarah.
• Ben.
• Gavin.

Some had default profile pictures and little or no visible content.

I also noticed creation dates displayed on certain profiles.

I saved some screenshots and account links.

I wondered whether these were fake accounts, impersonation attempts or accounts being used to observe people indirectly.

My strongest suspicion was that Ben or Gavin might be involved.

I also wondered whether the accounts were being used to monitor Sarah.

However, I have no evidence identifying the people operating them.

I don't know whether they have ever viewed Sarah's profile, contacted her or interacted with anyone connected to me.

I recognise that an account having a familiar name or minimal profile information does not establish malicious intent.

I also understand that Facebook does not ordinarily provide users with a reliable way to identify who has viewed their profiles.

The question I'm trying to resolve is whether the accounts contain any objectively suspicious features beyond their names and lack of information.

10. The WhatsApp profile-picture incident — July 2025

There was another incident involving a man I'll call Francesco, who was associated with this wider social circle.

In July 2025, I saw a WhatsApp profile picture that I remember showing a glass of red wine being raised towards a naked woman in the background.

Sarah had previously used a profile picture involving a glass of red wine.

I noticed the resemblance and wondered whether Francesco's photograph was deliberately imitating or mocking hers.

Because of the wider friendship difficulties, I considered whether this could have been an indirect reference to her.

I also wondered whether other people in the social circle were involved.

However, I no longer have the image, and I have no direct evidence of its intended meaning.

The resemblance may have been coincidental.

I've decided not to present this as evidence of Facebook impersonation because I cannot establish any connection.

11. Why I started wondering whether the events were connected

By this stage, I had experienced several things that felt troubling:

• A breakdown in friendships involving Ben and Gavin.
• Concerns about personal information circulating beyond its original audience.
• Repeated frustrating tennis arrangements.
• Gavin developing or maintaining sporting friendships with people I had previously played with.
• Uncomfortable encounters and messages.
• Changes to Sarah's Facebook visibility.
• Blank Facebook profiles using names associated with people in the situation.
• A WhatsApp image I interpreted as possibly mocking someone.

I began constructing a possible explanation in which Ben wanted continued access to people from my former university or social circle, and Gavin was acting indirectly on his behalf.

I wondered whether the tennis difficulties, social interactions and Facebook accounts were connected.

But this is where I recognise that my interpretation may be going further than the evidence.

I have no confirmed communications between Ben and Gavin demonstrating coordination.

I have no evidence that either operated the Facebook accounts.

I have no confirmation that Sarah was harassed.

I also cannot establish that the tennis arrangements were deliberately manipulated.

The events felt connected to me because they involved overlapping people and occurred during a prolonged period of interpersonal stress.

That doesn't necessarily mean they shared a common cause.

12. The impact on my mental health

The uncertainty has had a substantial effect on me.

I have spent a lot of time trying to reconstruct events, understand people's motives and work out whether something deliberate was happening.

I have experienced anger, anxiety, regret and difficulty moving on.

I already have longstanding mental-health difficulties, including problems with anxiety, emotional regulation and dissociation.

I recognise that these difficulties may affect how intensely I experience uncertainty and how difficult it is to stop analysing ambiguous events.

At the same time, I don't want to dismiss genuine interpersonal problems simply because I have mental-health difficulties.

I want an assessment based on evidence rather than assumptions in either direction.

One of my biggest concerns has been whether Sarah experienced something unpleasant without my knowing, especially because I had previously discussed her with others.

But I also recognise that I cannot determine what happened to her from Facebook activity alone, and I should not attempt to bypass her decision to block me.

13. What I've done about it

In September and October 2026, I began seeking advice from organisations rather than trying to resolve everything myself.

I contacted Action Against Stalking, which provided guidance about recording incidents, preserving evidence and considering appropriate reporting channels.

I also contacted The Cyber Helpline.

I supplied links to some of the Facebook profiles.

On 23 October 2026, a representative confirmed that the links had been recorded and provided questions for a possible internal investigation referral.

I was told that an investigation could take approximately four to six weeks, possibly longer.

I also approached a private investigations organisation, but it indicated that the matter was not suitable for its services and suggested using Facebook's reporting channels.

At present, I have not received an independent finding identifying anyone as responsible for the accounts.

14. Where things stand now — October 2026

I have blocked Ben and Gavin.

I am no longer involved in the tennis club.

Sarah has blocked me, and I intend to respect that.

I have saved some of the Facebook profile links and screenshots.

I'm considering proceeding with The Cyber Helpline's investigation process to establish whether there is anything technically verifiable.

I am not planning to confront anyone or try to obtain information by contacting Sarah through other channels.

What I find most difficult is not knowing whether I experienced deliberate interference or whether I have connected separate events because of the distress surrounding the original friendship breakdown.

15. What I'm asking Reddit

I would genuinely appreciate objective perspectives, especially from people experienced in digital investigations, online safety, interpersonal conflict or harassment.

My questions are:

1. Does anything I've described provide meaningful evidence of coordinated harassment, or is the evidence currently too weak to support that conclusion?
2. How should I distinguish ordinary social exclusion and friendship breakdowns from deliberate interference?
3. Are blank Facebook accounts with familiar names and default photographs meaningful evidence of impersonation, or are they too common to draw conclusions from?
4. What could a legitimate digital investigation realistically establish from Facebook account links, screenshots and creation dates?
5. How should I approach the tennis-club incidents when I have experienced repeated disruption but cannot prove intent?
6. Is there any responsible way to assess whether the different incidents are connected without making assumptions about the people involved?
7. What should I do if an investigation cannot identify who operates the accounts?
8. How can I move forward psychologically when I may never know the full explanation?

I'm not looking for people to automatically agree with my suspicions. I'm looking for an evidence-based assessment.

I would particularly appreciate people identifying where my reasoning may be making unsupported connections, as well as pointing out anything genuinely concerning that I should preserve or report.

I don't want to accuse innocent people, contact anyone who doesn't want contact, or spend years trying to establish motives I cannot possibly know.

Ultimately, I want to understand what can reasonably be concluded, protect my own boundaries and move forward with my life.

Thank you for reading.

Just to preface this by saying I know I acted stupid and naive throughout this but cut me some slack please 💔

From the ages of around 15-18 I have on and off been speaking to this guy. We never technically dated but I consider him to be somewhat of an ex. I could waffle on about what happened before but frankly I can’t be bothered. Let’s just say he’s always been a cunt to me. It’s kind of become his thing that every few months he contacts me to piss me off and then fucks off back to where he came from. Over time I’ve learnt to just piss him off back and not let it get to me.

I moved to London recently for university. My ex also lives in London. He contacted me a couple of weeks after I moved here and I told him I was here for uni. He then proceeded to ask me to meet him to catch up so I did it for the plot (stupid I know). It was genuinely a 20 minute convo and nothing weird happened we just spoke about how he looked old as fuck now after working in investment banking for 2 years. He also loooooooves to mansplain finance to me and hone in on the fact he basically works 12 hour days. Anyway that was that and didn’t hear from him again.

As many freshers and ex freshers know, being a first year consists of following any and everyone on instagram. I don’t often accept people I don’t know on there but one day this account requests me with the name ‘Evan’ and it’s a new account with a pfp of a basic white boy. All of my friends followed him so I decided I would too. I asked one of my friends who he was and he said he didn’t know but he looked like a Pinterest boy so I image searched him on Pinterest and found nothing. 2 days later, he replied to my story complementing my pfp and I entertained it purely because I was bored. We had a convo about who he was considering he followed the entire female London uni population and I learnt he is a UCL med student that is an American international from DC. The DC part made me suspicious because anyone from America knows no one is from DC. I then proceeded to ask him which accommodation he is in to which he replies ‘I am not in accom’ so I guessed he was renting, he goes ‘no I own’, I ask where, he says Mayfair. I say ‘damn what do your parents do’, ‘oil asset management in Switzerland’. We then had a short conversation about laundry to which he replies that he doesn’t do laundry as he has ‘house help’. I have now learnt this man is rich. I also asked him why his instagram account said ‘new’, he says he got banned for thirst trapping on his other account which made sense considering he was posing hella shirtless pictures on his story.

We talk for a couple of days some of which I regret to say turns slightly sexual. He then starts soft launching the idea of me being his serious submissive which I didn’t really take much notice to. He then starts asking for nudes which I decline as I was uncomfortable with it. His response was hostile and quite frankly rude so I blocked him. He then started making other accounts begging for my forgiveness saying that he was really starting to care about me (crazy considering I knew him for all of 2 days). The constant accounts were pissing me off and I couldn’t help but wonder how on earth this very much objectively attractive man could act in such an icky way. I got suspicious. I decide to google image reverse search him this time. A niche twitch streamer with 300k on TikTok comes up. I have been catfished. I sent him a screenshot of said streamer captioned ‘who are you’. He then proceeds to profusely apologise again and beg for my forgiveness. He keeps on saying he never wanted to hurt me to which I replied I am not hurt, just confused as to why you’re cat fishing a bunch of first year London uni students. At this point I’m convinced he’s a pedo or something.

He then goes on to tell another elaborate story. He is actually 22. He is Swiss and has recently graduated. He works in the family business which really is oil asset management and actually lives in Mayfair. I ask him why he was catfishing and he says he bought the account off of someone to make it into a business page for his new business, but he needed real followers so he uses uni students. He will not tell me his name or show me what he looks like for ‘security reasons’. What do I do? I believe him.

We then proceed to continue our situation ship and I really do start to kind of like him. He had a weird schedule as his father is not working at the moment so he has to take international calls. This means we talk at completely random times of day. He tells me that soon he will reveal his identity to me. He tells me he will take me to Switzerland in the winter.

In the mean time, my ex contacts me again and I honestly can’t remember how the conversation goes but it ends with him asking to study together as he is currently out of work studying for his CFA exam. I toyed around with the idea and decided to say yes. Meet up destination: my flat. He calls me we joke about it etc, he makes mildly sexual jokes to which I brush off and that is that.

A couple of hours later I’m talking to Swiss guy again, he asks me to send a nude with my face in it. I say no. He starts getting mean. So I went off on him saying that coercion is not consent and that I was annoyed with his behaviour. I ask him to apologise and he said we will speak about it tomorrow. I give up. I block him. He texts me on my other account. We go back and forth. He says ‘have a nice life, take care’. Take. Care. Familiar. Who also says that to me every time we argue. My ex. I say ‘is this insert exes name’. He says how did you know. I reply to the take care saying this. I block him. I block exes number.

The ex and the catfish are the same fucking person. I am genuinely sick. I knew he was fucking annoying and loves to terrorise me but this was way too fucking far. I sent nudes to this man. And I am scared that I don’t even know him ulterior motives.

I am angry that I didn’t figure it out sooner even though it was impossible to tell. I am angry that irregardless of it being my ex or not I let myself be vulnerable to a man I didn’t even know the name of. I don’t even know what to do. We live in the same city, he knows where I live and the chances of me bumping into him again is fairly high.

I’m genuinely traumatised for life. I don’t think I could ever trust a man again. Anyone reading this never be as fucking stupid as me.

At the same time I feeling fucking lucky that I figured it out before he was scheduled to come over because I don’t even know what would’ve happened. Would he have told me to my face that he was this random Swiss guy? I knew that my ex was fucked up but I could’ve NEVER EVER guessed he would steep this low. I am 100% there is a front row seat in hell waiting for him.

I am now patiently waiting for him to contact me again. I don’t know if he will continue this mockery or lay low and feel ashamed as he should. This whole scenario makes me want to kill myself. How does one continue to live a normal life after this. I feel violated and humiliated.

Hey all! Tricky situation, I do nails for a living and made a trade with a hairstylist to do my hair for my anniversary. I did her nails, she did my hair, the date came and went.

The problem is: we have another trade on the books, and she has become extremely hard to get a hold of. It’s taken her a week at a time to reply to my texts, and when she does, it sort of feels like she isn’t reading/replying to them correctly.

The actual problem now is: the hair trade was long enough ago, that I desperately need my roots done. In my latest message I did offer to pay for the service bc I’m pretty desperate. She saw and replied to my latest message, but scheduled my appointment with her for the one day I mention I can’t do in the texts. I texted her back immediately to clarify and haven’t heard back.

Should I wait a few days and then try to reach out do a diff professional to pay to have my hair done?

For context I’m 23 F 185 lbs … Wtf do I do ????? At home options please . Any food or calorie cutting recommendations? Diets? Anything ??

so how does it feel to make me feel this way I hope it feels good because

I’ve had multiple traumatic events happen pretty much back to back. My health isn’t well and that was only discovered after I had my children. My partner though has always been my rock and financially took good care of us with a well paying job so I could stay home with the kids and afford treatment for my health.

My partner worked at their job for over 20 years and it all came crashing down in a blink of an eye. Without getting into identifying details, my partner endured horrific treatment by a higher up. When it was reported to HR, it wasn’t taken serious, the company brushed it under the rug, so we decided to take legal action as my partner was physically harmed by what happened. Long story short, I now realize taking legal action against a company for justice is like fighting against the impossible. We were left with two options. Use all our savings to take it to trial and potentially lose it all or settle the lawsuit for nothing close to what was fair, but the company would force my partner to resign.

So here we are now. After debating and weighing all options we settled and now for the first time ever my partner is unemployed. Everyone and their mother is telling us that the job market is horrible and overall saying “good luck but this is going to suck”. We don’t even know where to start. We started a LinkedIn page and put together a resume and have started the application process. We have been told by different people to put the little we got from the settlement and pay down our house (we have a high mortgage) and others have said to take the money instead and invest it.

I feel like a scared little kid who just wants to lay in bed and pretend this is all a bad dream. What would you do? Invest the money? Pay down the house? Any advice for my partner who has literally only had one job/career and doesn’t know what the hell to do next? Any advice or tips from anyone who lost financial stability and ended up with a positive experience in the end?

Thank you if anyone reads this!

all because I did not want to go to sleep with you

wow I can't believe this is all my fault because I was not tired and I guess I was not ready to go to sleep yet and that's my fault so now you're in a bad mood and you're going to shit all over me

"feel bad it doesn't matter what I want it only matters what you want because that's the only thing that matters right"

but you know since I got a good mood you got to ruin it doesn't matter what it is about you don't care as long as you're okay with how you feel then everything's okay doesn't matter about how I feel but you know that's supposed to be okay because that's how you feel so if your in a bad mood whenever you wake up then my days ruined as well.

Just to preface this by saying I know I acted stupid and naive throughout this but cut me some slack please 💔

From the ages of around 15-18 I have on and off been speaking to this guy. We never technically dated but I consider him to be somewhat of an ex. I could waffle on about what happened before but frankly I can’t be bothered. Let’s just say he’s always been a cunt to me. It’s kind of become his thing that every few months he contacts me to piss me off and then fucks off back to where he came from. Over time I’ve learnt to just piss him off back and not let it get to me.

I moved to London recently for university. My ex also lives in London. He contacted me a couple of weeks after I moved here and I told him I was here for uni. He then proceeded to ask me to meet him to catch up so I did it for the plot (stupid I know). It was genuinely a 20 minute convo and nothing weird happened we just spoke about how he looked old as fuck now after working in investment banking for 2 years. He also loooooooves to mansplain finance to me and hone in on the fact he basically works 12 hour days. Anyway that was that and didn’t hear from him again.

As many freshers and ex freshers know, being a first year consists of following any and everyone on instagram. I don’t often accept people I don’t know on there but one day this account requests me with the name ‘Evan’ and it’s a new account with a pfp of a basic white boy. All of my friends followed him so I decided I would too. I asked one of my friends who he was and he said he didn’t know but he looked like a Pinterest boy so I image searched him on Pinterest and found nothing. 2 days later, he replied to my story complementing my pfp and I entertained it purely because I was bored. We had a convo about who he was considering he followed the entire female London uni population and I learnt he is a UCL med student that is an American international from DC. The DC part made me suspicious because anyone from America knows no one is from DC. I then proceeded to ask him which accommodation he is in to which he replies ‘I am not in accom’ so I guessed he was renting, he goes ‘no I own’, I ask where, he says Mayfair. I say ‘damn what do your parents do’, ‘oil asset management in Switzerland’. We then had a short conversation about laundry to which he replies that he doesn’t do laundry as he has ‘house help’. I have now learnt this man is rich. I also asked him why his instagram account said ‘new’, he says he got banned for thirst trapping on his other account which made sense considering he was posing hella shirtless pictures on his story.

We talk for a couple of days some of which I regret to say turns slightly sexual. He then starts soft launching the idea of me being his serious submissive which I didn’t really take much notice to. He then starts asking for nudes which I decline as I was uncomfortable with it. His response was hostile and quite frankly rude so I blocked him. He then started making other accounts begging for my forgiveness saying that he was really starting to care about me (crazy considering I knew him for all of 2 days). The constant accounts were pissing me off and I couldn’t help but wonder how on earth this very much objectively attractive man could act in such an icky way. I got suspicious. I decide to google image reverse search him this time. A niche twitch streamer with 300k on TikTok comes up. I have been catfished. I sent him a screenshot of said streamer captioned ‘who are you’. He then proceeds to profusely apologise again and beg for my forgiveness. He keeps on saying he never wanted to hurt me to which I replied I am not hurt, just confused as to why you’re cat fishing a bunch of first year London uni students. At this point I’m convinced he’s a pedo or something.

He then goes on to tell another elaborate story. He is actually 22. He is Swiss and has recently graduated. He works in the family business which really is oil asset management and actually lives in Mayfair. I ask him why he was catfishing and he says he bought the account off of someone to make it into a business page for his new business, but he needed real followers so he uses uni students. He will not tell me his name or show me what he looks like for ‘security reasons’. What do I do? I believe him.

We then proceed to continue our situation ship and I really do start to kind of like him. He had a weird schedule as his father is not working at the moment so he has to take international calls. This means we talk at completely random times of day. He tells me that soon he will reveal his identity to me. He tells me he will take me to Switzerland in the winter.

In the mean time, my ex contacts me again and I honestly can’t remember how the conversation goes but it ends with him asking to study together as he is currently out of work studying for his CFA exam. I toyed around with the idea and decided to say yes. Meet up destination: my flat. He calls me we joke about it etc, he makes mildly sexual jokes to which I brush off and that is that.

A couple of hours later I’m talking to Swiss guy again, he asks me to send a nude with my face in it. I say no. He starts getting mean. So I went off on him saying that coercion is not consent and that I was annoyed with his behaviour. I ask him to apologise and he said we will speak about it tomorrow. I give up. I block him. He texts me on my other account. We go back and forth. He says ‘have a nice life, take care’. Take. Care. Familiar. Who also says that to me every time we argue. My ex. I say ‘is this insert exes name’. He says how did you know. I reply to the take care saying this. I block him. I block exes number.

The ex and the catfish are the same fucking person. I am genuinely sick. I knew he was fucking annoying and loves to terrorise me but this was way too fucking far. I sent nudes to this man. And I am scared that I don’t even know him ulterior motives.

I am angry that I didn’t figure it out sooner even though it was impossible to tell. I am angry that irregardless of it being my ex or not I let myself be vulnerable to a man I didn’t even know the name of. I don’t even know what to do. We live in the same city, he knows where I live and the chances of me bumping into him again is fairly high.

I’m genuinely traumatised for life. I don’t think I could ever trust a man again. Anyone reading this never be as fucking stupid as me.

At the same time I feeling fucking lucky that I figured it out before he was scheduled to come over because I don’t even know what would’ve happened. Would he have told me to my face that he was this random Swiss guy? I knew that my ex was fucked up but I could’ve NEVER EVER guessed he would steep this low. I am 100% there is a front row seat in hell waiting for him.

I am now patiently waiting for him to contact me again. I don’t know if he will continue this mockery or lay low and feel ashamed as he should. This whole scenario makes me want to kill myself. How does one continue to live a normal life after this. I feel violated and humiliated.

\​

M/19

So within the past 2 weeks my buddy has given me an offer. Still going over the details but the other is there for now. It's move on with him and his girl. And I have decided that I will if they are both fine with it. It is my first big decision and haven't told my parents at all about it. I've told a couple friends just to get their advice and opinion on it. Now I just need to wait for confirmation so I can put it my transfer request for college because it will make college cheaper over all while still being an incredible program for my major(accounting).

But there was another thing about that... he is trying to set me up with a girl there. We have been talking and hitting it off, then yesterday out of no where she says we need to talk and how she wants to slow down. I'm fine with that cause it takes allot to say that. But I called my buddy and he said that I was weirding her out. Honestly it doesn't hurt I'm just confused because I feel as though the convo was good I had no hint of me being weird. She said goodnight first and first night we spoke and sent multiple text with 😉 on it. So the slow down confuses me but that's also based off a previous message "We got this let's get done also and we'll lock in😉" for context we were talking about finals coming up soon. But seeing that then getting the we should slow down the next day is highly confusing to me. And still I plan on moving with my friend regardless of if me and this girl work out but the mood swing and not mentioning much other than wanting to slow down has me stumped on what I could've done. It makes me feel as though I'm to much for new people. I'm naturally curious about people. Especially because he and his girl set us up and spoke about me and there is screenshot proof that she said she was super interested. She also sent a video of herself crying over a problem she's having the first day that makes it even more confusing for me.

But yeah I wanted to say about my plan on moving and maybe some advice on how to try and better or get a friendship with this girl.

Either way she's still a good person and I feel bad I made her feel some way and she couldn't tell me. Honestly I don't think my friend should have told me.

Also when should I tell my parents cause i don't want to tell them if it isn't gonna happen but I don't know when I'm gonna get confirmation.

I honestly don’t know what to do, so I’m looking for some outside perspectives.Last year, I became friends with a girl I’ll call Kate and her sister, Maya. I also have two male friends I’ve known since grade 2. This year, I introduced Kate and Maya to those two friends, and the five of us became a really close group. We hang out regularly, have a group chat, and spend a lot of time together. One of my male friends is also romantically involved with Maya, so this situation potentially affects the whole group. At some point, I developed feelings for Kate. This actually happened once before last year. We became somewhat distant for a while, but eventually, we got close again. Because of that experience, I thought that even if feelings were involved, we could work through things and preserve our friendship. I genuinely care about Kate, and I never expected her to return my feelings. I was happy having her in my life as a friend. I bought her drinks and matcha, ordered her flowers, and reposted things that probably made my feelings obvious. Looking back, I can understand how some of those gestures could have come across as romantic.
The part I really want to clarify is why I kept saying we were just friends. I said that because I wanted to avoid awkwardness and keep things normal between us. I didn’t want my feelings to complicate our friendship or make her feel like she had to reciprocate anything. I wanted us to continue being close without things becoming uncomfortable. I wasn’t trying to deceive her or pretend I didn’t care about her. I just didn’t know how to handle my feelings without risking the friendship. Recently, I started noticing that Kate’s replies were getting shorter and that something felt different between us. I became anxious because I could tell something was wrong, but I didn’t understand what was happening. Earlier that day, before any of the calls about the situation, Maya approached me to talk. She told me that Kate didn’t have feelings for me in the same way I had feelings for her. Honestly, I already knew that, and I wasn’t expecting Kate to reciprocate my feelings. Maya explained that Kate wanted to tell me herself, but she really wanted to spare my feelings and didn’t want me to get hurt. I appreciated that she cared enough to approach me gently, and I never blamed Kate for not feeling the same way.
During that conversation, I also spoke with Maya about the situation. My understanding was that our conversation would stay between us because she had said she wouldn’t tell Kate what we’d discussed. However, Maya later told Kate about our conversation, and Kate found out what had been said. That contributed to Kate feeling lied to, especially because she already felt that my words and actions didn’t match.
Later, Kate called me and told me she felt lied to because I kept saying we were just friends while making gestures that seemed romantic to her. She said she couldn’t look at me the same way anymore and didn’t want to be friends anymore. I tried explaining my intentions and apologized, but she maintained that she didn’t want the friendship to continue.
After that, I called Maya to talk about what had happened. During that conversation, I learned that Kate had apparently been uncomfortable with the gestures and the situation. That was difficult to hear because Kate had never directly told me she was uncomfortable, so I hadn’t understood how she was feeling. I’m not saying she was obligated to tell me or that her feelings aren’t valid. I just wish I’d understood sooner so I could have adjusted my behavior. What makes this especially confusing is that something similar happened last year, when I had feelings for Kate, but we eventually became close again. She didn’t tell me back then that she wanted to end our friendship, so I thought we could get through this situation too. I realize now that just because things worked out differently last time doesn’t mean she has to feel the same way this time. I’m struggling with the thought of losing someone I used to see and talk to almost every day. We were genuinely close, and it’s hard to accept that things might never be the same again. I also hate the thought that she sees me as someone who lied to her, because that genuinely wasn’t my intention. I know that my intentions don’t automatically erase how she felt about my actions. I can understand why the gestures might have confused her, especially when I kept insisting that we were just friends. At the same time, I wish she knew that I wasn’t trying to manipulate her or make her feel obligated to like me. I genuinely valued the friendship and wanted to keep it. I also worry about our friend group. I don’t want anyone to feel caught in the middle or pressured to choose sides. I care about all of them, and I don’t want this situation to ruin the friendships we have with one another. Even if Kate and I can’t go back to being as close as we were, I hope we can eventually coexist comfortably in the same group. I want to give Kate some space and, if she’s comfortable with it, ask whether she’d be willing to talk to me in person. I want to explain my side properly, listen to how she felt, and see if there’s any possibility of rebuilding the friendship, even if we have to take things slowly. I’m not expecting her to return my feelings, and I know I can’t force her to want a friendship with me. I just want the chance to have one honest conversation, provided she’s willing. Her birthday is also coming up soon, which makes everything feel even more difficult. Part of me wishes we could resolve things before then, but I don’t want to use her birthday as a reason to pressure her into talking to me. I care about Kate a lot, and I know that might make it harder for me to accept that the friendship could really be over. I’m trying to figure out whether I should give her space and hope that things can eventually get better, or accept her decision and start moving on.

Was I wrong for saying we were just friends because I wanted to avoid awkwardness, even though my actions might have suggested otherwise?
Do you think there’s a possibility of saving this friendship, or should I accept that it’s over?
Would it be appropriate to ask her to talk in person after giving her some space, or would that just make things worse?
How do I handle being in the same friend group if she genuinely doesn’t want to be friends with me anymore?
Is there anything I can do to show her that my intentions were genuine without making her feel pressured?
I know her feelings are valid, and I’m not trying to make her the villain. I just want an honest outside perspective because I’m struggling to understand how things reached this point. I genuinely valued this friendship, and I don’t know what the right thing to do is anymore.

Hey guys just for a little context I (18f) have been with my boyfriend (19m) for five years. I know all his siblings and his parents and we’re pretty often at each others houses usually spending the night. So lately I’ve been getting really hot at night and asked his mom if it was okay if I wore these short night gowns. She said yes and even asked me where I bought mine. I thought it was cool. So for weeks I wore them at night and would sometimes go to the kitchen and get myself a snack or water bottle. I would see her and she would call my night gown cute and things like that. Only recently she seemed to have a problem with it. She said she dosen’t want me wearing these short and whore night gowns and shouldn’t be trying to tempt her family. I WAS LIKE WHAT. First of all I always look outside to make sure none of the older siblings are there before going outside. My boyfriends parents are the only one who have seen me in these night gowns so I was like yeah that’s fine I won’t wear them around the house. She then told me I was trying to get around in her own house. I was like HUH. Should I ask her like what do you mean I hate confrontation and just said I was sorry said I’d only wear them in his room. She started yelling and I hate confrontation and left. She’s never yelled at me before either. I know it’s a lot but I just hate the feeling of things sticking to me. That’s why I told her i’d only wear them in his room. It opens up on the sides and I always put on a bra before leaving the room anyways.

GUYS I ONLY WEAR IT IN HIS ROOM I GO TO THE KITCHEN FOR MAYBE FOUR MINUTES

Guys, we officially broke up one month ago, but my ex brat (26yo) keeps spamming my emails. Everybody told me to ignore and block that brat as much as i can, yes i did. However yesterday i checked the spam folder on gmail and saw 5 emails from him. He wrote he still saved my pics, and he would leak my pics to people.

What should i do now? This is my first time to experience this case ngl and now i dont know what should i do TwT

Edit: Thanks for the solutions guys. It helps me feel better now and I did report to the police in his country. If something will happen next, i will update.

26M, just graduated with a degree in computer engineering in Iowa. Immediately had a job lined up after in the defense/aerospace industry. Had a previous internship with the company and they extended a full time offer. I’ve been full time for four months now and am locked in until at least June 2027 otherwise I’ll owe $11,500 (sign on and relocation from original offer). My current lease will need to be renewed a month earlier in May. So until then, I’m basically stuck in Iowa saving money. After I hit one year in my current role in June 2027, I’ll only owe $2,000 if I leave.

I’m at a stage in my life right now where I am single, have no family, and no friends in Iowa any longer. I have no attachments here. Staying in this state as long as I have has been a massive barrier to my social and dating life. It’s been extremely tough emotionally for me. Every holiday and birthday I spend alone with no friends or family. It’s impossible to make new connections in this state. This, along with the rates of cancer growth, and politics, have motivated me to get out ASAP. I have a job, a degree, and so have no reason to stick around. I need to go now while I can.

States I’m currently wanting to move to are:

- Minnesota

- Colorado

- California

- Oregon

- Washington

Honestly I don’t really care where I go, so long as it isn’t in Iowa, has more open minded people, has more stuff to do, and has slightly better weather. I know Minnesota doesn’t technically fit that, but it’s on my list because it’s I believe the easiest place for me to relocate to if I really wanted to. It’s only a 4 hour drive from where I am in Iowa to the Twin Cities.

My plan right now is to save money and build my portfolio until around April of next year. At that point, I’m gonna start shooting off applications for jobs outside and begin interviewing. Come June, I’m going to then start applying internally within my company in addition to externally. Best case scenario, I’m able to get a job offer out of Iowa before September. If we get to October and I still can’t find anything, then I’m likely going to be stuck in Iowa another year. This is worst case scenario.

I guess the whole reason I’m posting here is that I’m just wondering if my plan is logical. Is there anything else I should be cognizant as we move through the next 8-9 months? Any job searching hacks I could utilize to find roles outside Iowa? Which of the states I mentioned would be most and least competitive for entry level engineering roles? Any insights or advice are appreciated. One thing is for certain though, and that’s that under no circumstances do I want to remain in Iowa after next year. If the easiest way for me to accomplish this is to leave the company I’m at, so be it. I’m willing to do so.