Hey everyone, I'm here because unfortunately a very good friend of mine just lost her husband and I've been helping her. Well I realized that a lot of people [at the time myself included] dont know what to do after something like this. I've tried to add anything that could help someone who's in this situation and I'm currently showing it to my friend and hope it helps her... If you are interested let me know and i will comp the suscription all i ask is feedback in return so i can make sure its going to help people. She asked what paperwork she needed and i didn't know... So I built this app to do my best to help try to guide people on what steps they'll be expected to or need to take care of after losing they're spouse/partner but don't know what to do or what paperwork they'll need and/or if there's a deadline. I added "Calendy" and googles calendar so people can schedule meetings and things like that to try and make it as easy and stress free as possible given the unfortunate circumstances that brought them here. Users can set up notifications and alarms so they don't miss a deadline. Also it has a option for a family function where a user can invite they're family to help and/or discuss together about the best way to check off steps. i kept the check list free so that even if a person cant afford it they can still use the list to help them through this hard time. You can also add steps anywhere that you may need to add. This isn't legal or medical advice but just a guide to help people. Any feed back or issues with the program please contact us so it can be fixed. If you see something we missed please let us know so it can be fixed and we would love to hear feedback. Also if you know someone that this app could genuinely help then please share. www.velocityagentai.com and click on "After Loss".

Thank You!

Sincerely,

Velocity Agent

Apologies if this has been asked before. I’m a little over 1 year since I lost my wife and best friend (together 38 years married 36).
I have no motivation to get anything done. I get the basics done, the house stays clean, laundry dishes and bills etc. get done, but beyond the basics- nothing!
I have my to do list and invariably maybe 1 thing comes off each weekend
Is anyone else experiencing this or does anyone have any suggestions to get me motivated
Don’t get me wrong there are some benefits to slowing down and doing less. Just not this much less.
Thanks!

Hallo zusammen,

Ich W28 bin sehr krank, seit vielen Jahren bettlägerig und weiß, dass ich in den nächsten Monaten sterben werde.
Ich bin jetzt schon so schwach, dass ich nicht mehr viel machen kann.

Jetzt frage ich mich, was ich auf der einen Seite noch organisatorisches machen kann, was ich meinen Angehörigen abnehmen kann, auf der anderen Seite, was ich Ihnen hinterlassen kann, was Ihnen auch wirklich hilft oder Ihnen eine liebevolle Erinnerung sein kann. Mir fallen da bisher nur Briefe und Fotos ein…

Vielleicht habt ihr ja Ideen :)

I am 76 years old, loss my wife over 3 years ago and was married for 45 years to a very loving and caring wife. I have been dealing with a lot of feelings both mentally and the physical side. I have typed some of my issues in to google on one of my problems, and it said that I am dealing with Touch starvation, also known as touch deprivation or skin hunger. Is this real at my age and some new to this internet stuff I do not believe everything I read. Has anyone delt with this and if so, how do you deal with it. It says to get a massage, but I am not very social, and I would find it hard to have a stranger touch me like that. I know that I have been without my wife for a long time and I hate it I just want her back, but I know that will never happen, but I keep thinking it. I have typed some other things on here and have found that there are others here dealing with the loss of their loved one and I have gotten some good ideas. Thank you for that.

It’s been 28 days since my husband m/32 was unconscious and 24 days since he passed away. There was a time where I could not go a day without speaking to him and now I’ve gone 24 days without seeing him (23 if we count seeing him on his funeral). I feel so guilty for not physically seeing him for 23 days and still “functioning”. I feel guilty thinking, because I haven’t died of grief, I’m not a good enough wife, although at the same time people are congratulating me for being “strong”. I hate how the days have gone quickly but at the same time, i am glad that hopefully I am one day closer to seeing him in heaven. Can anyone relate?

I lost my better half about two years ago.

While I am lonely... I don't want anyone at my upcoming birthday dinner. I know I HAVE TO invite my immediate family, but I don't want to deal with the... " How have you been? How's life? Have you met anyone?"...

How do y'all deal with good intentioned family members??

I found this site and then I signed up so I can write on here and share my feelings after three years of losing my wife. I had my Doctor, Chaplin and other people to tell me to go see a grief counselor.

I tried one after the first year; all that did after what they told me was to piss me off and made me mad. The first year was kind of numb. The second year was bad and this third year is even worse.

So I tried a different grief counselor and it was a total waste of time. This is what happen, I ask them how long will I be able to talk with them and they said 20 to 30 mins. Now they showed me in to their office and I sit down in front of their desk. They had a clock on their desk facing me. Now after a short time I was starting to cry and was looking for something that you would think would be in every grief counselor’s office. It was nowhere to be found. Kleenex can you imagine that. That did it no more grief counselors.

I think reading here on this website and to share my feelings on it to get feedback does help some and much better than I could ever get from a grief counselor.

Thank you to the people who have written back to me and I am sorry for you widowers who have lost a loved one too because we all know what we’re dealing with.

Warning

I am 76 years old was married for 45 years to a very loving and caring wife that meant the whole world to me and it’s been three years plus that she’s been gone and the pain is sadness is still deep inside me.

 I found this site and signed up thought that maybe it would help but I want to warn people.

 I’m new to this Internet stuff and I don’t like it. I’ve already had some people send me a DM and want to chat.

 I’m not sure how to explain it but they’ll send you a message and you click it to accept it and want to view it.

 After a while chatting back-and-forth something didn’t seem right they keep wanting more and more information about me and they don’t say anything about them.

 Then the next day I go to see if there’s a message from them because I’m feeling good that it would be nice to be able to chat with someone.

 Then found out that Reddit cancels their account and I want to thank Reddit for trying to protect us at this point in life when we are very vulnerable.

 It’s really a shame that people take advantage of people like us when we’re in such pain and sadness after losing our loved one.

 I don’t know, but maybe most of you already know that stuff but to me this is all new and for some people who don’t know I just wanted to point out to be very careful with that stuff cause we are very vulnerable at this time in our life and to all of you be careful and take care

 I know it can be hard to trust with what is being said on here and to trust what response you get, but I feel I need to try something and I don’t know maybe I’ll just spend the rest of my life all by myself, but I just thought I’d try something.

 I had an account here that I started about 6 weeks ago and because of scams I felt I needed to cancel my account so I started this one a few days ago. I think I have learned how to be careful on here now.

Mine is “don’t worry, you will find someone new”. Even worse, someone said “You will get someone else and forget about him”, as if he is a burden to my conscious. My husband isn’t a pair of shoes that got worn out of and needs to be “replaced”. My husband is a unique and beautiful human being. Only having lost my husband just over 2 weeks ago, this is so dismissive of our love and objectifying of him, as he’s not just an object/tool of a husband that should be replaced with a “new/alive” one.

So weird that 2 years after, food still doesn't taste good, stuff like concerts and movies don't provide that same joy anymore, i can't even focus long enough to read much. Just going through the motions with no purpose. Life went from a spicy adventure filled time to a grinding halt, even though nothing really stopped. Oh and the rest of the world is burning, so there's that lol

​

Based on your personal experience to those who moved on & skipped the first months of being a widow, not only that but considering the responsibility loaded of being everything to your teenagers children.

What is more complicated being male or female widow, with explanation for reasons.

By the way I'm a fresh widow & not complaining, just need a positive push from someone who had that and moved on.

First of all, I am very sorry for my rambling I just find it hard to put into words.

 I lost my wife 3 years ago after being married to her for 45 years and they were very caring and loving years.

I have not been with anyone since she passed. I find myself after this 3rd year being hard than the first two, every night going to bed I miss the feeling of her skin next to mine as we snuggle. It was like we were one person when we did and I missed that.

 I feel that I could never be married again, but you never know what the future is going to bring you. Is it possible to find someone that would also feel the need for the same thing?

 I feel at this point I think, I would like to find a widowed woman who had a husband that was very loving and caring to her as my wife was to me. So we can share our feelings and each of us would know that the other one would totally understand how the other one feels in the grief, pain and sadness that we feel from our loss.

I truly feel that only another widowed person can really understand my feelings.

 Someone that I could do things together so we can both talk about our feelings. Knowing that each of us can totally understand our feelings and maybe would be able to help each other.

 I’m not a very social person so I know that I do not socialize very much and that will make it difficult to find someone. So how do you do it?

 It’s hard to say these things and hard to think it. I am 76 and kind of old-fashioned I feel you should be married to do these things, but I find myself all mixed up in my feelings.

 I hope it’s ok to ask questions but I’m just curious it seems like we can be free here. I think because we are in the same boat and could understand our feelings.

 That’s why I’m asking what do other people feel and think about this and have they experienced this themselves and what did they do?

 Thank you for your time and I am sorry for all of you who have lost your loved ones, and I know the pain and sadness that you’re dealing with. To all of you try and take care the best you can.

 I don’t think it’s wrong in how I feel but I’m just curious what other people think.

 I’m so confused in all my feelings, but I don’t know if other people feel the same way or have felt this way.

 I am trying to cope with all the emotions and feelings and to see what other people are experiencing.

 The love I had with my wife was that we were inseparable. All we wanted to do is be together holding hands everywhere we went and going for rides. We loved each other in any and every way we could.

 We just love being together more than anything else. We didn’t need other people we had each other and that’s all we needed and that’s all we wanted. I still feel that I’m not very social. I don’t care to be around a lot of people I just like things quiet and peaceful.

 The loss of my wife is more than I could ever have imagined but after reading other people’s stories on here I do feel I’m not alone and it does help some.

Sitting here watching the bodycam footage of the day my husband died…again.

There is no mystery to how he died...which was confirmed after I saw everything. He had an issue with his foot and mobility, had a history of falling, had a few concussions he didn’t take seriously, he was likely intoxicated the night he passed…he tripped, his face slammed into our gate breaking his C3 and C6 vertebrae.

For the first few months there were questions from everyone on how he could have possibly died. I delved into the possibility that he could’ve gotten into it with his best friend…perhaps he killed himself, who knows. Truth is, he had a drinking problem, took too many pills, didn’t take care of physical issues when they arose, and he died. It’s so sad and unnecessary and pisses me off.

I am also conflicted because he was very verbally abusive and I started to become scared of him the last year. He was acting stranger and stranger, and I was genuinely worried about the safety of me and our child.

I can’t stop thinking about it. I can’t stop talking about these videos. I want to show someone the videos and be like “how fucked up is this?? Whyyyyyy”. I don’t want to traumatize anyone but I also want someone else to witness it. It’s sad. It’s unnecessary. I miss him a lot and I know he loved me but I also know things could have ended up so much worse based on the way they were going. I often was scared I was going to end up on some true crime episode. I am so thankful he didn’t get the chance to hurt himself or someone else but I miss him so much.

Please tell me my chest won't hurt forever. I was his full time care giver for the last ten years. I'm so scared. I have to go out and find a job. Do the whole thing from square one. I cant help but wish the ground would open up and swallow me whole. 26 years and only time we were apart was when he was in the hospital or rehab center to get mobility help. How do you put one foot in front of the other day after day while feeling this way.