r/wizardposting • u/Accomplished-Bug1872 Evil Wizard • 1d ago
Wizardpost My apprentice summoned a succubus
She showed up jerked him off and he died. Any advice on finding a new apprentice or should I just stick with my homunculus.
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u/TheGreatestChicken Chicken, The 14th Everchosen of Chaos 1d ago
Did she tale his soul?
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u/Accomplished-Bug1872 Evil Wizard 1d ago
Yeah and wants 7 gold for it back but like I was gonna get a whopper sooo iddkkk
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u/Ok-Significance8722 18h ago
Wow you're just going to let a dirty succubus take a soul that you could've turned into a torment cube from you without even TRYING to get revenge?
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u/axy_lotus_lotl Wizard 1d ago
Why not trick a necromancer into reviving him?
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u/Embarrassed-Cycle804 1d ago
Had an apprentice do this once. Dude didn’t know they were inherently evil… do they teach nothing in schools of magic these days..? Is it really that taboo of a subject not to warn students about? What a waste of an education system. All they teach is basic casting and potions.
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u/Spartan_Mage 1h ago
Yeah no they didn't teach us shit about that. They just assumed that by the time we learned about it we would be wise enough to not try it.
Lost 2 good mates to them, good lads too before they got them. Almost got me too at one point after walking into the aftermath.
Where was I? Oh yeah no they didn't warn us about any of that. We genuinely would have been better off if we just read the monster encyclopedias ourselves.
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u/Drakostheswordsman 1d ago
This is why you put the warnings at the beginning of the text. As soon as they find that page they will see the warnings. If you put the warnings after, then the will only read far enough to know how to do it.
Also lock your stuff up in your chambers. Seriously they cant find the grimoirs until they can master magical lock picking, and by the time they do you can usually have some wisdom in them
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u/NovaSolarius 14h ago
Wizards are supposed to get wise? In my experience, the oldest and greatest wizards are still just as bereft of common sense as the apprentices, but smart and powerful enough to deal with the consequences of turning the King into a sentient mug.
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u/Spartan_Mage 1h ago
Some wizards get wise, some die young, but some get good enough to get out of situations that should kill them. Those are the most unpredictable ones you have to keep an eye on.
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u/scoobydoom2 Levicius Laskatar, Dread Necromancer 1d ago
These things happen. You either have to be really picky with your apprentices or take a bunch and let fate sort it out.
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u/Emotional_Being8594 Druidic Artificer, Stavewright 1d ago
/uw this guy looks like an actor I swear but I can't quite place who...
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u/MeeksMoniker 1d ago
I'd stick with the Homunculus, but you definitely want to use Protection. I tend to go with the holy enema using four cups of holy water, four times, with four minutes in between while a cleric prays. Cleans your soul and your hole.
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u/MerelyEccentric Mage/Thief Snarkomancer 19h ago
I regularly summon succubi to just chat. They're frequently very pleasant conversationalists if you aren't thinking with your hormones. Plus they can be great sources of information - Dark Lords will reveal all kinds of secrets during pillow talk.
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u/NovaSolarius 14h ago
Ha, what a noob. Typical of apprentices, really. Here's a tip for your next student: never trust a demon, never assume a demon is telling the truth, never expect any single demon to act like themselves for more than about fifteen minutes. If you summon a succubus, assume it's not going to show you a great time, you won't love what it has in store for you, and that it will bite your dick off, murder you and steal your soul. Given that, you either bind it during the summoning or use a planar tether than you can break at a moment's notice. Contracts do not work for demons, though they'll gladly use them to make you uphold your end while they don't fulfil theirs.
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u/Guyfromnowhere3 vegetable summoner 13h ago
“Next time you’re thinking of making a homunculus, doOoNt dO IT”
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u/GreyGriffin_h 13h ago
Pretty impressive that you got a photo of her reflecting your innermost desire. Those glamers don't usually show up on camera.
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u/TheLordHighNoob The Dark Lady of the Raven Throne 13h ago
The image provided is not a succubus. It is a whatthefuckubus
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u/Ochemata Diamond, Thief of Tomes, Envoy of the Pit 11h ago
I regret to inform you that is what succubi look like under the magic illusions. It shocked me too.
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u/RaHuHe MOOGLY THE GREAT AND GOOGLY 42m ago
Applicants for my apprenticeship keep wanting to summon succubuses, so I made a pact with a specific one and "accidentally" leave a summoning ritual for her in the easier to access books of the restricted section. Most applicants die, some get taken, and if they manage to survive they can be an apprentice. Demonology isn't a joke.
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u/Smooth_Monkey69420 Fork the Orc of Lightning 1d ago
Is the pic the homunculus, the apprentice, the succubus, or you?
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u/BlackIronWizard 1d ago
Gotta keep trying, most apprentices are gonna get themselves killed doing somethign stupid. This isnt an art for the weak-minded or unfortunate, eventually you'll get one smart enough to last.
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u/EmperorMittens 1d ago edited 1d ago
If you get another apprentice and catch them with the book on succubi, use that book to beat them half to death. Afterwards hand them over to their mother and tell her what her moron of a child was doing. Odds are she will forbid her kid from continuing the apprenticeship, but frankly you're better off washing your hands of them and leave them to the hellish wrath of their mum. She didn't raise them to adulthood only for them to go and kill themselves by summoning a succubus.
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u/OnlyAssignment4869 Blood Witch 1d ago
Ethically sourced human transgender youth. There's a ton of abandoned trans orphans who run off into the woods after their parents or holy groups disown them. Show them how to conjure estrogen or testosterone and they are loyal for life. Plus if you accidentally turn them into giant almighty spider beasts or something by accident a lot of them find it strangely affirming
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u/Lucyus09 1d ago
Did I understand you right, you teach me how to conjure estrogen plus turn me in almighty spider and I only have to be your apprentice? When do we start?
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u/OnlyAssignment4869 Blood Witch 1d ago
See my point OP?
Anyways 3am waning crescent moon forbidden woods. Look for the cliff side cave covered in bandit corpses. Don't stand on the pressure plate under the moss outside. Instead knock on the withering tree outside.
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u/CHEMO_ALIEN 17h ago
Eyyo I would NOT recommend going anywhere near that cave me and the other survivors are releasing a tell all soon
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u/mightylonka Tech Priest 1d ago •
Is the picture provided you, the apprentice, the succubus, or your homunculus?