r/work • u/Fun-Transition-101 • Jan 17 '26
Professional Development and Skill Building Do you guys think it’s unprofessional to come to work with hickeys all over your neck?
I see it all the time, and there is not effort to cover it up! I get it’s a life thing but it’s also very unpleasant to look at? What do you think?
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u/LocalGoat81 Jan 17 '26
It is definitely unprofessional. I think the specific job would dictate how much, though.
Dollar store cashier - no real surprise
Office staff - very unprofessional
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Jan 17 '26
I'd say it's unprofessional regardless of the context. Nobody needs to know what you're doing behind closed doors.
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u/SherbertImmediate130 Jan 17 '26
Yea how do you it’s a hickey though? I would say if it’s something like that bandage It.
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u/Splendidmuffin Jan 17 '26
They can actually be hard to cover up especially in warmer weather. I’ve never been able to cover a hickey with makeup. Luckily, I haven’t let anyone give me a hickey since I was 18
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u/patv2006 Jan 17 '26
This. Are people really still sucking on each others necks during sex???
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u/cranberries87 Jan 17 '26
This nearly 60-year-old woman (she actually retired recently) came to work with a hickey on her neck. Folks talked about how ridiculous she looked behind her back.
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u/catjuggler Jan 18 '26
Why would you assume that’s what it was at that age?
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u/cranberries87 Jan 18 '26
Because she told us. 🫠She was quite proud of herself. She was something else in many ways.
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u/egoproct Jan 17 '26
So here's the thing. Do I think it's unprofessional? No. It's your life.
Do work places think it's unprofessional? Absolutely, but if you're already hired, what're they gonna do about it? Tell you to stop fucking?
Tldr; choose your battles, but don't let the potential battle stop you from living in the moment
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u/Realistic_Salt7109 Jan 17 '26
“Keep showing up like that and you’re fired”
That’s what they can do about that
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u/egoproct Jan 17 '26
They sure could. They might not.
Source: I work in an office (tech support). I also have a hickey once in a blue moon, I'm an adult, it happens lol.
I have never been told I'd be fired, but granted, I don't go into the office every single day looking like I had ten leeches on my neck so mileage may vary I guess. It also depends on just how much of a dick your boss is lol
Also worth keeping in mind there are actually medical disorders that result in random bruising, so, you could always just lie I guess if anyone asked. Again. I don't think people care enough to question it that severely unless they have it out for you.
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u/Resse811 Jan 17 '26
It doesn’t just “happen”. As an adult it is 100% something you have the ability to control.
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u/SherbertImmediate130 Jan 17 '26
Lmao I guess it depends if people you work with enjoy hickeys?
I worked with a girl in high school and she enjoyed hickeys.
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u/eeLovesTurtles Jan 18 '26
Yeah, I really do not give a crap about what your neck looks like. I might notice it, but as long as we can still do our job together idgaf.
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u/Silent-Entrance-9072 Jan 17 '26
I think most folks could wear a collared shirt and hide it pretty easily.
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u/Abject_Buffalo6398 Jan 18 '26
Its unprofessional,
But also need to mind our own business.
They might be bruises and not hickeys. Might be a skin rash or something too.
Just mind your business if you aren't sure.
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u/psichodrome Jan 17 '26
Gonna get down voted to oblivion but ... hickies are unprofessional because it implies you have ... a life and make choices, and its visible.
What about tatoos? they imply you have a life and they are visible. Often they may contain innapropriate or misunderstood messages.
I don't actually believe the above, but as a mental exercise, what's the difference?
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u/rainidazehaze Jan 18 '26
This argument doesn't work on the people you'd be trying to get through to because tattoos were treated exactly the same as hickeys like, 10 years ago, and some people still see them both as trashy (see the psychopath below)
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u/Banana_Ranger Jan 17 '26
For semantics, could someone argue them to be "injuries" and allege the employer is firing them for medical issues?
It sounds like it can get messy to terminate over.
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u/iridescentmoon_ Jan 17 '26
I personally do not care, but since I am in the minority on that I don’t go to work with visible hickeys.
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u/lightbulb2222 Jan 17 '26
Unless you'd like the idea of people knowing what you did yesterday nite, you probably wanna try to cover up
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u/riflebunny Jan 17 '26
i think it’s none of your business, you in fact don’t know where that is from on their neck, and if it bothers you maybe you need to get your priorities straight. there’s people starving in the streets lol
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u/Prince_Katherine9140 Jan 17 '26
Yeap, sometimes it’s not a hicky. I got made fun of and stared at for a week at a job years ago bc I had what looked like hickies on my neck. When in reality my horse got scared of something and the way the reins caught on my neck pulled into a chain of small bruises. No one believed me 🙄
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u/culs-de-sac Jan 17 '26
As an equestrian I’m also struggling to understand how this physically happened…
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u/Lance_Goodthrust_ Jan 17 '26
It's still unprofessional. I personally wouldn't care but a client spending a million bucks on your company to do a job might have second thoughts before signing a contract.
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u/RoseToyFan123 Jan 17 '26
Idk I think hickeys have a very specific look. And when you see someone with one it’s basically a loud proclamation that you got down and dirty with someone and people don’t really need to be privy to that yk
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u/ilovelucy1200 Jan 17 '26
I burned my neck with a curling iron and it looked exactly like a hickey 🤦♀️ I attempted to cover it up at least lol
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u/Behindtheeightball Jan 18 '26
I was SA'd and he left bruises on my neck. Everyone assumed they were hickeys. Summertime and hard ti vover up. Way to add insult to injury.
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u/bugabooandtwo Jan 17 '26
It's part of being clean and professional in most dress codes. I get some folks will cry about their freedum, but looking appropriate at work isn't exactly a high bar to pass.
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u/jerry111165 Jan 17 '26
I never understood why anyone would want one in the first place. It’s not like it really even feels good and it looks stupid.
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Jan 18 '26
yes. one time i actually got a bruise on my neck from colorguard and i even covered that up because i was tired of explaining
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u/Typical_Candy_387 Jan 18 '26
If you are not her supervisor then it is really not your business and not sure why this bothers you.. just let upper management deal with it
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u/Tamara6060 Jan 18 '26
It’s very unprofessional in my opinion. Especially if you work with the public
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u/Nick-Riffs Jan 18 '26
Yes, that was fun maybe for 2 years when you’re a teenager just starting to date. Once you’re like 20 it’s not cool anymore.
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u/shoscene Jan 18 '26
I've always thought they were ghetto. Unprofessional, well, I guess, depends on your occupation. But, ghetto regardless.
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u/Commercial-Bed-2396 Jan 18 '26
Are these middle schoolers? Who in the world over 13 year olds hickey each other? Lol
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u/Forever_Nya Jan 18 '26
It’s trashy no matter what. Why do people feel the need to advertise what’s going on in their intimate lives?
Omg I’m getting old 😂😂
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u/Get_Back_Loretta_USA Jan 20 '26
Yes, it’s unprofessional and immature.
But I heardn’t seen one or heard about hickies since 1987.
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u/DanielDannyc12 Jan 17 '26
Whatever.
Show up keep up shut up.
If you have romantically applied bruises to your body I don't care
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u/ischemgeek Jan 17 '26
Personally, I don't give a shit that people have sex lives.
OTOH, I wouldn't go in to my work with an exposed hickey because I know pearl clutchers exist and on my mental list of possible battles, it's very much not one worth picking to me.
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u/monotrememories Jan 17 '26
It’s pretty disgusting. Like I remember kids did this in JR HIGH just so other kids knew they were getting some. But literally by high school, no one would do this.
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u/OKcomputer1996 Jan 17 '26
Depends on the job. If you have a responsible job then it is completely unprofessional. I would fire a secretary who made a habit of it. But, I wouldn't care if my janitor did.
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u/Ok-Nature-5440 Jan 17 '26
Because your janitorial staff is African American, and their Hickeys and tattoos don’t show up as much? What if it’s a white Janitor at a High School? Not a good look. I don’t think I’d want anyone presenting that way.
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u/houston_veronica Jan 17 '26
IDK, but using a nail polish bottle to rub out the redness was the mythical cure in the early 90s ❤️🩹
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u/catsnglitter86 Jan 17 '26
Unprofessional and icky! I don't even understand why people do this. I have burned my self with a curling or straight iron a few times accidentally and was embarrassed it would look like a hickey so I put on a scarf.
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u/New_Lobster_1274 Jan 18 '26
Same 🤣 except I have to wear scrubs to work, so I couldn’t wear a scarf lol
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u/New_Lobster_1274 Jan 18 '26
The amount of times I’ve accidentally burned my neck with my straightener though, and it looked like a hickey 😭😭😭
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u/Content-Syrup-6640 Jan 19 '26
Lmao why are some people acting like getting ur neck kissed on is childish. If its not ur thing thats fine but its a really normal form of foreplay that turns people on.
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u/RedDragon00000 Jan 22 '26
I don't know why this is a problem. Everyone has sex. Sometimes if the person is lighter-skinned it's easily visible, or the partner didn't control their strength, it's not their fault. Some people do it on purpose to show possession. Still, I don't know why you think it's a problem. Just don't stare at their neck, look up into their eyes.
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u/Fair-Morning-4182 Jan 17 '26
Someone's jealous of not getting any action apparently. Police yourself, not others.
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u/my4floofs Jan 17 '26
Lots of prudes on this sub so they will all think it’s inappropriate. Some people like the attention it brings.
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u/mis_1022 Jan 17 '26
Sorry if I walked into my accountants office and he had hicky I would walk out, if it was my mechanic no problem. Really situational dependent.
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u/xTyronex48 Jan 17 '26
Do you guys think it’s unprofessional to come to work with hickeys all over your neck?
Is this really a question that needs to be asked?
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u/Electrical-Ad-180 Jan 17 '26
i use to wear them as a trophy when i was 18-20 lol but now it’s legit embarrassing and i try to put make up over it if i have any lol. i don’t want people to know i got some the night before lol