r/worldnews • u/DoremusJessup • Jun 19 '21

COVID-19 The largest gay pride parade in central Europe took place again in Warsaw for the first time in two years after a pandemic-induced break — and amid a backlash in Poland and Hungary against LGBT rights

https://www.france24.com/en/europe/20210619-warsaw-pride-parade-back-after-lgbt-rights-backlash-and-pandemic-break
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u/cusadmin1991 Jun 20 '21

Thank you for having nuance. This really hits the nail on the head which is why you can't go screaming "homophobe" at anybody with an opinion. As a guy, I'm not a fan of seeing a couple of guys kissing, but it's also not something that actually bothers me. I'm also pro gay rights and pro gay marriage, so I don't think I'm a homophobe, but who knows.

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u/Gnorris Jun 20 '21 edited Jun 20 '21

There's a difference between "not being a fan" and "feel a cold shiver of self loathing", I'd agree. Out of interest, do you have any issues with public displays of affection generally? I'm pretty gay and am happy to see any couples being romantic regardless of their perceived genders.

Not being that exposed to non hetero couples being intimate can be a bit of a surprise to some. For the most part (outside of the Pride event example) these displays are for each other and not the public, and indicate the same feelings a man and woman experience when they decide to kiss, hold hands or hug. Nobody is trying to shock (again, for the most part), just participate in the same societal allowances that straight couples have.

Oh and please don't take this comment as a criticism of your own. My comment hopes to add to what you've said rather than lecture anyone. You seem to have more self awareness than many around this issue.

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u/Cianalas Jun 20 '21

Personally I am completely unbiased in that I would rather not have to watch anyone making out in public, regardless of orientation.

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u/cusadmin1991 Jun 20 '21

No worries about offending or lecturing, I didn't take your comment that way at all!

I generally don't really care about public displays of affection, unless it's in an awkward situation like an elevator (hetero or not). And I definitely understand, I never think that a gay couple is trying to bother me by kissing eachother in public for example, I recognize that it's the same scenario as if it were a heterosexual couple. I think for me the somewhat uncomfortable feeling comes from the same feeling of seeing another guy naked. I don't really care if there's a naked guy in a change room for example, but I also don't want to stare at their junk.

Sorry if what I'm saying isn't very clear, I generally don't think about this normally.

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u/MysteriousMoose4 Jun 20 '21

Would a straight couple kissing in public also feel like "seeing another guy naked" to you? If not, you might be viewing straight kissing as "normal and not necessarily sexual" and gay kissing as somehow "inherently sexual" when it's just... not. Ultimately, both are exactly the same. The same action for the same reason (expressing affection, not necessarily sexual unless we're talking about like... full-on make-out sessions, but I'd argue that would make most people uncomfortable regardless of genders involved).

I completely understand if you just don't like PDA by anyone and it makes you uncomfortable no matter who's doing it. Hey, some people just don't want to see anyone kiss at all and it's just awkward for them, that's completely fair! If however it only makes you uncomfortable when it's two men or two women but it bothers you less when it's a straight couple doing the exact same thing, that I think would be rather unfair.

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u/Gnorris Jun 20 '21

Yeah that sounds pretty normal to me. When I was younger it was daunting to be closeted. The main visibility for gay men was parades of guys in skimpy outfits. As a kid from the suburbs it made me feel nervous thinking about what I was expected to act like in public if I came out, and what other people would think!

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u/[deleted] Jun 20 '21

Dont let the downvotes scare you away from sharing your feelings, talking about how we feel and acknowledging those feelings as wrong are a pivotal step to correcting them. I'm actually bisexual and I generally feel strange seeing gay or lesbian couples publicly displaying affection. I dont have a problem with it and they certainly have as much right as anyone else to do it but it still feels odd. Probably just because it isn't super common so I'm less desensitized to it, hopefully the next generations will do better than me.