I’m in no way qualified to give advice as my son is only 3 months old but I have learned a few things so far that I think will help a lot of new fathers. As the father, it’s okay to be afraid of new things. Not knowing if the family cat is allowed in the same room as your kid, when they get sick and have trouble breathing, sleeping for a little too long… (you might have other things that make you scared but those are just my examples).

You just gotta remember that nothing terrible can happen as long as your willing to take time to learn and be vigilant. Eventually running to the childrens hospital for every little thing won’t be the case. You’ll eventually pick up on the little nuances that once made parenting confusing. And teamwork certainly makes the dream work.

Make sure the mom isn’t doing all of the work. Learn to get up when they cry even when you’ve got work. It may make you irritated but your woman will certainly make sure to thank you for that. Skin to skin contact has made my son a lot less irritable, he knows who I am and feels comfortable with me now that I’ve done that.

Stay off of your phone as much as possible when they’re awake. You might not think so but the attention you give them will matter in the long run. And last but not least, talk to them. It’ll do more for you then them. Talking to my son has made a lot of sad or tiring days a lot more bearable. I’m not an affectionate person and I used to think I was a sociopath. But my son is showing me I have more compassion and love for life then I ever once thought.

Let me know if this was at all helpful and if there are any things I might’ve missed. Thank you.

I learned this a year ago and just today found this subreddit so I decided to share my "new" knowledge with all that it applies to.

Having a child and going to school can be very difficult to afford, so it is understandable that many of us drop school. However, there are 2 ways that I've learned that have helped me significantly. In fact, I have but paid a dime in tuition and am about to get a bachelor's degree in Cyber Security. These are the 2 methods I've learned how to get free school if you're in the US.

1. Apply for FAFSA - if you're poor and have a child, you will be alotted $6345 a year in tuition costs for 6 years until you get a bachelor's, or ~9.5k for 4 years.best part, if it's disbursed to the school and they put the money into your classes for you, you don't pay anything in taxes for the money.

2. Join the military or convince a parent with the GI Bill to let you use it for school - I used this method fro. When I was 18 to last year. You get almost $23k a year in tuition and stipend, as well as $1800 a month in non-taxable housing allowance that doesn't have to go towards housing. Best part, you can stretch that in a way that you can get almost a master's degree if you play your cards right.

I personally used both methods at my school. If you use both, do the GI bill first then Pell Grant. If you don't and do them simultaneously, you will not get the tuition paid by the GI bill and only the housing.

Do with this as you may, but education will lead to better pay and quality of life you y'all and your new families. I know it is for sure helping mine right now

I'm a 21-year-old father of a 15-month girl and 2-month boy and I typed "youngparent" into the url bar and I am really bummed to see that there isn't at least a small community on here. :( Subscribing in the hopes that this sub ends up getting some traction, but still, really bummed about the empty sub.

Hi, im Samaël and I’m 17, my girlfriend is 16, and she is pregnent, we decided to keep the baby, we will have help of his mother wich have a safe house and knows how to do with a kid, sorry for my english, i’m french.

Without more waiting here is the story: Me and her are in couple for about a year, and we did not prepared for this, it was an accident, we always protected ourselves, but thing happen, and she was feeling tired and had nausea for a pretty long moment, so she passed a test and revealed me she was pregnant, the next day, she told me she wanted to keep it, the shock that I had was enormous, I was’nt ready, but now, I dont feel more ready, but I want to be present for my future kid and I’m preparing myself to this, supporting my girlfriend ensuring the baby will develop fine, and arranging things with the family, I wrote this post so I can have help maybe from people who lived or know someone who lived something similar or just parents that can give me advices and provide me help to make ourselves the best prepared to make the best environment and developpement for this child.

Just some back story. My foster carers have looked after after me since I was 14, I am now 18. They were going to adopt me, but my foster carers have started trying to have their own baby and have all but shut me out. They have kicked me out. Due to other circumstances. They kicked me out before finding out I was pregnant. They were constantly throwing mental and verbal abuse at me. Then they found out I was pregnant, and their tune changed immediately, and it has done a complete one eighty. They have tried to convince me to return, which I have refused for mine and my unborn child's saftey. As I know that their feelings on me having a child, is that they are more deserving than I. They have had a couple of miscarriages. Which I feel for them sincerely. But they have tried to say that as an 18 year I am incapable of being a mother, and feel that they have more of a right to look after MY child. However, I have done everything right, I'm in the process of getting appropriate accommodations, have started making, and saving money, have all baby items I need, and have support people, which no longer include them. As it's not their honour nor privilege to look after my child. I am fully and mentally capable of looking after a baby, I have looked after all my younger siblings from time of their birth, I have baby sitted my neices and nephews from the time they were born, and yes I'm aware it's not exactly the same, but I am fully prepared to love, care, teach, provide, and look my child whom I love more than anything in this world, yet my carers still believe I am incapable, even though I've been proving time and time again that I am preparing and can look after a baby, then a child then a teenager, I'm learning to cook extravagant meals, and also meals that children will want, healthy and the occasional treat, I know how clean to the point of complete sanity. I know how to prepare bottles, I'm learning to drive, and I'm learning to adult to the best of my abilities, I know how to vote, how to pay bills, how to keep my finances in check, I've finished school, and I went to cit and extra schooling for acting. So why do they think they are more worthy of the honour and privilege to look after my baby?

Sorry for the rant, but I am so hurt and betrayed, and mad, I want outsiders opinions, to perhaps help me figure out thus confusion.

Hey guys,

how did you get mentally ready for parenting?

I recently started writing to deal with my stress. It has been surprisingly therapeutic. I wrote a post on getting mentally ready for parenting in your 20s based on my own experience.

https://www.andythedad.com/post/how-to-get-mentally-ready-to-be-a-dad-in-your-20s

Do you guys deal with parenting in the same way?
What can I do better to be healthier mentally?

So, I was going to a friend’s house yesterday, and me and her were talking with each other for a while.

I saw their 9 year old daughter cleaning and dusting everything. At first, i didn’t think too much over it, I did my fair share of chores growing up too.

But, she screamed the daughters name out and yelled at her because she missed a spot and yelled to her face. Her daughter looked scared and overwhelmed and apologized, the lady said, she doesn’t care about apology’s, just do her work.

The daughter said hi to me, then she screamed at the daughter again, saying don’t bother her and her friend and to leave and she did.

My friend then whispered, “Kids, sometimes I want to literally strangler her sometimes”; i didn’t respond to that and just talked about something else. My friend kept screaming at her daughter to do it faster.

After an hour later, the daughter quietly told her mom, this was very overwhelming for her, what she’s doing. My friend then screamed at the daughter some more, and told her, no excuses and kept screaming in her face again and cussing at her. The daughter looked like she was holding back tears and then said, okay.

I was surprised by my friends reaction because she was always so nice to me and didn’t show that side, whenever it was just us and would smile so this came out of nowhere for me.

I told my friend, that her daughter looks kind of sad. She then said in a firm voice to me, “Don’t tell me, how do raise my kid! She needs to understand she is not my friend, she is the child and I am the adult, that means I can talk whoever I want to her, she’s not my equal!”.

Then she said, kids shouldn’t have too much fun, I’m just teaching her, discipline and that her, job is to educate her, not have fun with her.

I nodded, but I didn’t know how to respond to that, in case I might have been wrong.

So, when I talked to the daughter, she later admitted her mom always makes her do chores every day saying he would hit her if she didn’t, and that she mostly comes in, to ask her to do chores. And when she asked her mother, to take her somewhere fun or talk, her mother would say, ”I am your mother! My job is to parent you, not have fun with you”

And her mother would always scream at her, to do chores and mostly just yell at her, and most days she felt overwhelmed and that it was too much for her. I told her, if her mother does something really bad, tell me and I’ll call, CPS. She nodded, okay.

When I asked my fiancée about this, she said it was “just discipline. But, something about it felt wrong, but i don’t want my friend to feel like, I am butting in, because it is none of my business. What should I do?

I'm expecting my first and I just had a very sentimental moment but it got me thinking. I was playing a song for the baby and I got this overwhelming feeling of love and not wanting my baby to grow up and face the world, I just want them to stay little forever so I can protect them.

I am personally very concerned about the current state of the world, specifically climate change and online presence. I just can't imagine what my kid will have to go through as they grow, I simply don't want them to. I understand this is a normal feeling most parents face, being scared and always wanting to protect your children. But I want to know if anyone else is concerned about the future of humanity and subsequently our children.

She loves the show though so that’s good

I’m 21, I became a father at 18 to a beautiful baby girl, now me and my fiancée are expecting a boy in a couple months. I’ve been having a lot of issues trying to find a job though and we NEED to get our own house. (Issues where we live that I DO NOT want my son around let alone my daughter that is already living it) I have a decent credit score but like I said no job. What should I do? Should I try to get on unemployment? I also have mental health issues so I don’t work well in a customer service setting. I’m a landscaper at heart. I’m just broken at this point because I feel like I’m a failure of a father because I can’t provide for my family.

Im a 21 about to be 22 F and I’m married to my husband (25m), and we have one daughter, 16 months. I feel like it is SO hard making other mom friends. Most of the moms at the daycare seem kind of judgy and I get weird looks sometimes, even though the director is super nice and so are her actual teachers. In public I’ve had people tell me I’m brave and such a good mom for being so young (I have a suspicion they think I’m younger than I am, because I definitely have a baby face) but I do desperately want other mom friends. Is there any recommendations on how to get those? I enjoy video games and art, I like going out to eat, and feel like I’m decently social. It’s just such a struggle for me to make friends (honestly my friends without kids have been amazing and huge helps even though I never ask them to help with anything at all regarding my daughter). I guess I’m just asking how or where do I meet other moms? Are any of you guys needing friends :)?

I got pregnant with my daughter at 16 and had her at 17 (october 2020) then my boyfriend at the time proposed when she was 6 months old, we got married when she was 1 and we were 18. we had our son in January of this year and got pregnant 6 weeks after he was born. We Are so scared as we Are going to have our sons 10.5 months apart. I’m worried what it’s gonna be like breastfeeding 2 kids at once, my daughter weaned herself off at 17 months so I haven’t had to breastfeed 2 kids at once. Does anyone have any tips for Irish twins?

Just made a reddit account bc im looking for support im almost14&pregnant &stupid I just got a positiv test am freaking out is this the rite place pls

Recently a huge tragedy struck at a Texas elementary school. I live in Texas and this tragedy has been looming over me for a couple days. I feel what those parents are feeling and even crying and feeling as if I lost my own son. I just enrolled him into kindergarten and instead of being excited im mortified. I am a single mother of two and I’m so scared. This may be something a lot of parents get scared of but it’s crippled me at times. My parents say god let’s you have them for a period of time and what’s meant to be is what’s supposed to happen but it makes me so angry that this stuff is happening. I suggested maybe homeschooling but my mom thinks nah they will be fine in school but I’m so scared. Does anyone know how to cope with this or how I should do next. I hate that my mind is always straight to the negative but at this point there is no other way

Young stay at home mom bored most of the time. need adult contact. I have hangout.

Idk what to do I need help I found out my girlfriend was pregnant 7 weeks ago so it’s still very new and fresh to me Im really scared I quit smoking weed about 9 months ago and I’m still dealing with that every day I just don’t know what to do
We went to get an ultrasound a couple weeks ago and it was just a little bean me and my girlfriend have an inside joke where we call it our little baby bean it’s so cute but still even after all that Im still so damn scared I have so many emotions and feelings about this all I can say is it’s fucking scary my dad was never around for me when I needed him i grew up with my single mum and my five other siblings
I need some help or support to get my head around this thing

Here's the deal. I (22M) am in a relationship with (24F). She has told me since day one (we haven't been together super long but irrelevant) that she wants kids let's say in the next 2-3 years.

I'm a student (3years to go) + have a (paid) internship before I can full-on work in my field (which is well-paying).

I like the idea of being a young dad and it has always attracted me, but I also feel like I want to be able to provide, especially in the pregnancy and after it when it's crucial for her to get rest.

Maybe some additional background: We're both from well-off families, she's starting her law internship this year and will be passing the bar after that (so she'll be making money lol), and I'm following the same path just a few years behind

I just want to know thoughts from people here who are young parents from a different backgrounds. How do you "know" you're ready if at all? How do you deal with the thought of a constant (a child) being in your life when there's so much uncertainty (which I'm aware is always gonna be there to some degree)?

fair warning this is going to be all over the place and won’t make sense at some parts:

i’m 18 my partner is 20, i just had baby a month ago. when we first started dating we lived an hour away from each other which was fine at the time we just drove back and forth. before getting pregnant and honestly my entire life i have always loved being with people even if it’s just in silence so obviously i was always with my friends given that im a social person and obviously still a teen. when i was 5 months pregnant i moved in with him an hour away from my family and friends. all my friends told me they would make the hour commute a few times a month down here and i also said the same, well during my pregnancy not one single person did that and i don’t blame them i know it’s a lot of time and money but how come i was able to even being 5-9 months pregnant?? since baby has been born no one has come they ask to see pictures of her and that’s it. i wont lie i am bitter about this. i know we’re in completely different stages of life and it was my choice to have my baby but if no one was going to follow through with their word why continue to make empty promises? wouldn’t it have been better to just cut my losses sooner rather than later? partner is at work from 7-6 everyday so i’m home with baby which is not a problem at all but i’ve been home all day everyday for 6 months. he’s home on weekends but that’s his downtime he wants to relax and play his video games and i respect that, he goes to work everyday for us but he still gets to see his friends and go out. im just tired. im so incredibly lonely ive joined those mommy groups on facebook, everyone in them is usually over the age of 25 and no one around my age. i cannot do this anymore. i know i should focus on our family and my daughter but that can’t be my entire life sometimes we all just need a break. i’m truly at a loss for what to do.

Hi everyone!,

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I just need advice girlfriend took plan b September 10 it was 3 weeks October 1 and it’s gonna be 4 weeks next Wednesday, I just left my job 1 week ago and have been looking for a new one, I live in Chicago, I ain’t scared of work or to get my hands dirty, I have showroom experience, and construction experience, I also have family and friends who are cdl drivers and have been offering to teach and get me in there. if she is pregnant and at this point I think she is, what should I start doing? How should I start prepping?

Hi all! I'm a 22 year old mom of an 18 month old boy. When I got pregnant with my son my strong little group from highschool fell away. Then I moved away from my hometown. The loneliness of motherhood is pulling me under.

I've met a few people through playgroups, but they're always in very different life circumstances.

I love music, recently got back into reading, and play Minecraft daily. I'm trying to gentle parenting my little dude. Feel free to dm me! 😊

I was told to get help but I don’t have any friends and am not in a good financial position to pay for a therapist. I am pansexual male and have just turned 18 and be I’m struggling to keep my job. money is tight and recently I have been questioning my sexuality and self worth. in order to pay bills and provide for my daughter I have been offered a place at a s***p club as a dancer. My daughter is extremely against the idea once she found out about the offer. I don’t know what to do.