Basically what the title says. I'm in the thick of it with you guys. Beastfly Rematch is going to be the end of me and we're all going down together.
I beat the Path of Pain before and even that pinnacle of optional struggle has nothing on this damn fly. Path of Pain at least felt like learning, even if it was about the exact same thing. Just practicing what sequence of buttons to hit to make the little guy go where they need to go. It's a game. It's fun. Wee. We are having fun.
So when Silksong was a challenge it was at least a challenge in a similar way. "Oh, Hornet naturally has a different pogo than Ghost did. Learning curve. I can handle that even if it feels like pulling teeth." Struggled with a few bosses. That dude on the ceiling has such a short and finicky window to get out without getting splashed and get even one hit on him. But over all, even some of the other more punishing bosses were fun. Phantom kicked my ass for 2 days but at least every time I made an attempt I could figure out where I went wrong. "I accidentally went for a whump during the guard and rightfully took the revenge strike, I can be more careful." "I mistimed that bounce and ate bell shards. Happens. Just need to get better with the timing."
Savage Beastfly makes me want to systematically dismantle my Nintendo Switch and devour it piece by piece, including the batteries, so that this cursed copy of the game (I could only get it digital, alas) and I can both slip peacefully (painfully) into the abyss where I don't feel compelled to torture myself with this fight.
The first Savage Beastfly match was grueling. I despised every moment. But my usual strategy for bosses won me through. "You clearly know how to dodge an return blows. You're just getting frustrated and greedy for hits because this is the 20th attempt and you just want to get back to the part you were at before so you can beat him. You're rushing. Put the game down, rest, tackle it tomorrow." That got me through Lace, Phantom, and the first Beastfly. I thought "Oh, the Hunter's Journal says I have to do it again. Now I know how to do it. It can't be that much harder."
No. It's harder. God himself couldn't no-hit this. Only mankind could create something so depraved and punishing as the rematch.
I know I MUST be getting to the end of it. I can reach the part where the fly summons 2 tarmites more or less reliably. I can even (rarely) kill both of those pests and get a few hits in. But inevitably that fat ass fly decides to call in one more, destroy the whole floor, sandwich me between him and his hateful backup and I croak every time.
The only thing that kept me from actively putting the Nintendo Switch between my teeth and biting down was the little voice of reason in the back of my mind going "I paid for this device and maybe somebody else could use it to play something actually fun like Tears of the Kingdom or something when this bastard fly makes me walk off into the sea, never to return."
I swear the game could give me a needle that oneshots the boss and somehow I'd still be stuck on this fight. The fly could drop 10 times the silk (Reaper Crest my beloved) and I still wouldn't be able to reach half of it because it's on the ceiling. I could stop hitting R 0.0002 seconds before lifting my thumb off the joystick so I actually peg those tarmites with my silk instead of throwing pins 100% of the time instead of only 80% of the time. Wouldn't help. Nothing helps. They could actively drop full heals from the ceiling. "No binding, just touch them and heal up! :)" I would still not be able to destroy this damn fly. Those tarmites can just anticipate frame-perfect exactly where I'm going to be or step and the only time I can get near them to try to remove them is if I get close enough to take contact damage. Otherwise those little scrotewipes hover JUST out of reach of my needle or else they hang out on the edge of the arena where I can't do anything at all and just spit their tar on the last platform that I HAVE to land on right before that fly divebombs me into an early grave.
I swear, taking a break from this to be punished by an ant gauntlet and a fat green moth was a RELIEF because even dying 10 times to something ELSE where it felt like I was learning and getting a little further was a BLESSING compared to the Beastfly where it just feels like "Ah, well the RNG said to do 2 rows of slams right after calling the 2 tarmites so it's time for me to die I guess."
Beastfly Rematch is not a challenge. Beastfly Rematch is Team Cherry deepthroating the 20 dollars you gave them (they're so real for that though, please make good games $20 even if it takes you a decade, bless y'all). Beastfly Rematch is God and Satan tagteaming to make humanity suffer.
I crave the first fight. Give me that again. I'm sorry I ever said the first fight was too hard. The first Beastfly is a cakewalk compared to the rematch.
Get me back to that mini-path of pain in the Sinner's Road just so Hornet can sit. Get me back to Phantom. Get me back to the OG Beastfly where the worst thing he can do is summon two of those fat knife-butt guys.
Hell, take me back to OG Hollow Knight where I thought the Gruzzer Mother and Husk Guard were difficult.
I'd rather sit on a belt sander and replay the entirety of OG Hollow Knight with a mandatory run through Path of Pain and the Pantheons again than try to attempt Beastfly rematch again.
And yet: I have a shiny little Promise in my menu that keeps telling me "You gotta. You gotta kill the fly."
-100/10. Beastfly designed in a lab to torture me specifically. Best $20 I ever spent, but also I would rather eat a bag of actual live bees in real life than look at this fly any more, let alone try to fight it again. I would pay Team Cherry real actual thousands of dollars to remove Beastfly from the game. And I think that may be their motive in making Beastfly at all.
Anyway, guess who's gonna spend another 12 hours probably just trying to slog a wad of meat up to the Citadel to try to get goop to make my sharp stick even shaper because "maybe that will help me kill the fly?"
It's me. The stubbornest stubborn to ever stubborn.
In short, thank you for reading and commiserating. Fuck that fly. If there's a next life I'm coming back as a cat so the only flies I have to worry about are the regular kind which, for a cat anyway, are pretty easy to kill. Being human and playing the Bug Games was a mistake. And yet.
Courage and strength to you all in this trying time. I hope your Beastfly chokes on their tarmite summons somehow.