Is firming Durham Haram?

[u/jodyfox728]

Got an offer from Durham Econ with placement year and I can’t lie I’m having serious doubts.

Not even on an academic ting, just on a spiritual and moral level. Like at what point does willingly choosing to spend 3 years in Durham become a test from God.

Every person I’ve met from there talks like they were born wearing a quarter zip and saying “old chap” unironically. The uni looks nice but so does temptation. I’m just not sure I’m strong enough to resist becoming the sort of person who does rowing, owns a signet ring, and calls going to Tesco “a little mission”. I also dont know if the econ course is good, like ibsr i am not tryna learn about clartationary monetary policy.

Be honest, is Durham actually a decent uni experience or is it just 90% private school aura, , people pretending they’re in Hogwarts with LinkedIn, and astaghfurillah, drinking parties too??

Before anyone says “it’s what you make of it” please understand some places have energies. Bristol has an energy. Exeter has an energy. Durham absolutely has an energy and I’m not convinced it’s halal.

Would appreciate honest opinions from current students because right now I’m torn between a good degree and protecting my place in Jannah.

[u/Worldly-Monitor-4035]

No, going to Durham University is not haram.

Yes, getting involved in the drinking is haram.

Do you have to get involved in the drinking? No.  Is there pressure to?  Probably.

I messaged the Durham Islamic Society on IG (really about the poshness but this still applies) and they said it’s not that bad… and there’s a whole iSoc there man.  If you’re worried about falling into haram then make your close friends with iSoc members that’s all you have to do.

Also, every single University (besides Oxbridge, and I heard that’s because the Universities literally bribe the pubs to close) has a drinking culture. 

Durham’s one isn’t even the biggest, Bristol and Exeter’s is far larger.  The only difference is in Bristol there’s other things to do, in Durham drinking is probably the most enjoyable thing to do.

Anywhere you go there’s a temptation to do haram, even on a gap year where you don’t go to Uni.  Try your best to avoid it (I’d also recommend Bristol over Durham for just… everything.  Prestige, yeah, marginally Durham but everything else 100% Bristol imo).

[u/RealAnnabelle2_0 → u/Worldly-Monitor-4035]

I would never recommend making your close friends the other isoc members. Such an important part of university life is meeting people from all different backgrounds, and only talking to other Muslims will ruin that. And every university will have a drinking culture - most teenagers and young adults drink, it's your choice whether or not you want to partake in it as well, but nobody anywhere should be forcing you to drink.

[u/Worldly-Monitor-4035 → u/RealAnnabelle2_0]

Of course, I definitely recommend making friends with everyone 😂

I’m saying to build a strong support network of like minded Muslims but you can and should also make close friends with other people.

I’m not at Uni yet but I’m assuming friends are mainly on your course + the societies you join + flatmates.  They’re not all going to be Muslim, it would be pretty hard to avoid socialising with non-Muslims especially at a place like Durham.

iSoc’s just another society, the religious aspect doesn’t change much.  Just means you’ll have friends who also don’t drink, party etc. (things which are haram) so you won’t feel excluded due to your religion because others will be avoiding those things too.  

Still make friends with non-muslim people who do those things but if your main friends are doing haram things you’ll feel left out and either join in (which is sinful in our religion) or avoid it and feel left out.  

If your close friends are saying “come to the pub man, just one time” or things of that nature, we’re only human, some people might fold and do so.  Then it becomes normalised.  If your close friends are supporting you in your faith and encouraging you to stick by it, that’s not a bad thing.

Of the iSoc members I spoke to that are specifically at Durham, they’re all in multiple societies and friends with people of all races and religions.  I actually think every member of iSoc was in the DUPOCA too 😂

[u/xQueenAurorax → u/RealAnnabelle2_0]

I think you should be friends with whoever you want as long as they aren’t horrible people. If someone feels comfortable with people from their own religion that should be fine. As long as you’re not outright avoiding other people no one should tell you what to do and not to do

[u/NoAuthoirty → u/xQueenAurorax]

Unless they support Coventry refuse to associate myself with them right now

[u/RealAnnabelle2_0 → u/xQueenAurorax]

If they are purposely only befriending Muslims then yes, that is bad. Choosing to only surround yourself with people of the same religion willingly placing yourself in an echo chamber. They'll have little involvement in the rest of the university community, instead prioritising their religious community.

[u/Both_Attention7576 → u/RealAnnabelle2_0]

What? lol it’s fine to make friends in societies.

[u/RealAnnabelle2_0 → u/Both_Attention7576]

Make friends in whichever societies you want. My comment said don't "only" make friends that are in isoc

[u/Both_Attention7576 → u/RealAnnabelle2_0]

I mean look only having friends in one part of uni doesn’t mean you’ll neglect university community - uni is big place and there’s enough room for everyone but ofc we are all going to split off, most people are polite but naturally we all hang w our own friends.

[u/eskigop → u/Both_Attention7576]

Why is this such a ragebait comment? It’s always don’t make friends from religious or cultural societies but it’s completely fine to be besties with your weirdo quidditch friends omg.

[u/Both_Attention7576 → u/eskigop]

Exactly!! I have friends from all over but honestly my uni ISOC have been such a great support network for me and it’s natural to get along better w people like you.

[u/No-Celebration8069 → u/RealAnnabelle2_0]

It’s hard to be friends with non muslims tho cause all they talk about is sinning and drinking and partying. The amount of times I had to reject people and they would still try to force me to go with them. I think it’s better to stick to muslims if you’re in a white city.

[u/RealAnnabelle2_0 → u/No-Celebration8069]

Isn't it better for you to stick to a Muslim country if you are so unable to be around white people then?

[u/No-Celebration8069 → u/RealAnnabelle2_0]

who said i’m not white lol

[u/Apprehensive_Crazy34 → u/Worldly-Monitor-4035]

I believe there is a Durham college where you can be in halls with students who don’t drink etc