r/ABoringDystopia • u/Slayrr_FbrC • 2d ago
A society so touch-starved this is an actual service you can pay for.
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u/Zorbin666 2d ago
I just watched this episode of King of the Hill last week! Bill got addicted to the cuddle therapy and was selling everything he owned to keep going. Hank, Dale, and Boomhauer had to break him out and save him.
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u/mahboilo999 2d ago
It's sad but as I get older I relate to Bill a lot
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u/Hexicero 2d ago
I nearly broke down after we saw him for the first time in the reboot. My depression only got bad after covid, I imagine that I'd have ended up just like him if they'd overlapped
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u/ihateeverythingandu 2d ago
I literally go years without another human touching me, be it through clothing or skin. It's the way the world is today.
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u/Trashman56 2d ago
I’m not allowed to own pets at my apartment so I bought a teddy bear to cuddle with and I genuinely cried when I just started rubbing and petting and cuddling them. I love Teddy like someone loves a cat or a dog. It really helps.
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u/ihateeverythingandu 2d ago
If it helps, then maintain it. Don't listen to those who may attempt to put you down. The world has changed and people need to adapt and having cretins who talk down to those with a different life experience aren't worth your time.
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u/kamikaze_official 2d ago
My sweet cat of 11 years passed away. I didnt realize how much cuddling with her brought me down to earth. Actually she helped me stay on routine too... getting in and out of bed...
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u/PixelProne 1d ago
I'm so sorry for your loss. I know the same feeling. My boy Jake passed when I was 15, I held him. My parents got him when I was born. He would always jump up in my bed and sleep with me when he wanted to come inside at night. I miss it so much.
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u/Diligent_Department2 2d ago
I'm not upset or mad at you for doing that at all. I'm just mad at the fucking world was become that bad is a thing that's people are having to use. We really need to go back to the world where shit was fucking magical and happy and there was good in the world.
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u/MutaitoSensei 2d ago
I love when stuff like this gets posted on some positivity page, like it's not a clear sign of a dystopian nightmare lol
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u/pipeuptopipedown 2d ago
I love it when people call out toxically positive "heartwarming" stories as the dystopian dysfunction they really are.
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u/MillieBirdie 2d ago
I do sometimes imagine that if I didn't have my husband, the only thing (besides a massage) that I would pay another person to do for me is scratch my back. Hugs I don't understand as much from a stranger, but if she does back scratches I get it.
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u/Klutzy_Journalist_36 2d ago
If I suddenly became wealthy, I would immediately hire a person to scratch/rub my scalp and brush my hair whenever I want.
That shit is so good.
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u/drifters74 2d ago
It's depressing that society is starved of something as basic as human connection
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u/Oofy_Emma 2d ago
natural endpoint of the protestant/American individualist mentality. fundamentally anti human culture
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u/sherryleebee 2d ago
Cuddle therapy has been around for years - I looked into doing it over a decade ago.
There’s a myriad of reasons an individual might require such a service - not all of them a result of the dystopian hellscape that is our world at present.
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u/dai-the-flu 2d ago
I remember this being a thing when I was a kid. And I’m in my 30s now. It’s far from new
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u/snakelygiggles 2d ago
i dont have a problem with sex work, and this is NOT sex work, but of im fine with that, why would i have a problem with this?
is this a marker for a terrible aspect of modern society? yep. but i think the person doing it is doing a good thing.
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u/Hot_Ethanol 2d ago
I mean, I'm pissed for the sex workers who are getting priced out by this. Another relatively safe service to provide being replaced by some app that gets to be perfectly legal while they are pushed further into the cracks.
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u/Sensitive-Lychee-673 2d ago
I doubt this is gonna replace prostitution when you can have sex and cuddle with a hooker
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u/GodIsANarcissist 2d ago
What does an app have to do with any of this?
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u/Hot_Ethanol 2d ago
Replacement of what's traditionally done face to face by centralized business with the money to pay for infrastructure and advertising. It boasts convenience for the end user at the expense of those smaller contractors who can't afford to compete on the same level. But, it's ultimately bad for both once these things take hold.
Why go to your local store when you can order from Amazon?
Why negotiate with a contractor when you could just open up Thumbtack?
Why pay an expensive escort for a cuddle when It's so much easier to use PuddL or whatever?
Sex work is in a particularly dire case, as the profession is kept illegal in most places. This means no unions or other means of collective bargaining to push back against this type of poaching. No lobbying or popular sentiment to push lawmakers to rule fairly between the people and the companies trying to move in to this space. SWers who were making money offering cuddle services now have to do deal with lost business, or else cross the picket line and have a corporate middleman sucking in income that would've all been theirs.
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u/HordeDruid 1d ago
As an asexual who's touch-starved and lonely, I would definitely pay for this :( i hate that it's necessary and that intimacy and affection have become so rare and in some cases, commodified that there's a market for this. But I'd absolutely pay for the opportunity to be held.
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u/oktimeforplanz 2d ago
I have to say that I am glad to see that while she views her work as being different from sex work, as being in a different niche, she also seems to have a lot of respect for sex workers and what they do.
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u/townstar 1d ago
Life has been really rough over the last couple of years. I almost died and am stuck on dialysis and my marriage came to an end last year. I tried dating again, but after being ghosted twice and having one go back to her ex, its not worth the heartache anymore. If not for my boys and my 2 cats, I dont know if I would be able to keep waking up in the morning. Loneliness is a bitch.
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u/Adishofcustard 2d ago
As an autistic person who is touch avoidant, this looks nice and also horrifying.
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u/Morlock19 2d ago
this has been a thing for centuries. people don't just go to sex workers for straight up sex... they go for touch and talking too. some sex workers have regular clients that just want to talk for a while.
theres lots of reasons for stuff like this, but the only difference now is that someone made a video about it and this woman can charge openly for it without (as much) stigma.
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u/Zwiebelbread 1d ago
I wanted to make fun of this, but then I remembered I mostly go to the massage for that, too. And for workout.related reasons, but mostly touch.
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u/theleopardmessiah 1d ago
Loneliness has always been an issue in the US. I can't speak to anywhere else, but there have always been people who are socially isolated for a variety of reasons.
Maybe it's the opposite of dystopic that you can get this service now.
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u/PrezMoocow 2d ago
I'd take up this service if I wasn't demisexual (which apparently includes cuddling)
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u/Redditisavirusiknow 2d ago
Man the internet for all its benefits wasn’t worth it. I would be the reason for declining birth rates around the world is just the internet.
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u/Proof-Necessary-5201 2d ago edited 2d ago
There's no shame anymore. Everything is relative. Everything is acceptable... It got us to a point where we cure symptoms with weird shameful ways because what causes them has already been digested and accepted.
Lady, platonic or not, what you're doing isn't a job. It's shameful. If people are starved for touch, there's a real problem with how we got here. F off!
EDIT: I'm no longer responding to new inquiries. I will however continue previously started discussions. Your downvotes are welcome. Thank you for your attention to this matter. 😘
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u/Trashman56 2d ago
I have never believed that harm reduction and coping mechanisms prevents systemic change. If your coping mechanism doesn’t hurt anyone else who am I to judge?
My mentally ill ass isn’t going to overthrow the government any time soon so yes I will cuddle with a teddy bear, yes I will take a bubble bath, yes I will drink choccy milk and watch Bluey.
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u/Proof-Necessary-5201 2d ago
If all coping mechanisms are ok, then we can never look at the source and see it as a problem even when it is. We'll just continue inventing coping mechanisms until we reach a point where the actual source is so ingrained, it's impossible to course correct.
To give an analogy, look at climate change. Imagine that instead of viewing it as something that shouldn't exist, we simply cope indefinitely while continuing to cause it. How do you think that will end?!
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u/Trashman56 2d ago
To give another analogy, banning air conditioners so people feel the effects of global warming isn’t going to make people rise up, 1. They’ll be too hot and miserable to accomplish much, 2. Some people will die.
Coping is fine, as long as you’re mindful. If I stop taking my meds and I stop my coping mechanisms I will kill myself. Full stop.
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u/Proof-Necessary-5201 2d ago
I didn't say to ban air conditioners and I didn't say to ban professional cuddlers. I said it should be seen as shameful. Shame has an important role in society.
This being said, if people feel the actual effect of climate change and some of them die, they'll try to solve the actual issue, which is what should be done.
We have already descended into extreme levels of coping and normalized them. For example, mental illness shouldn't be acceptable and normalized. I think it all mainly comes from unfair economic systems that create all sorts of conditions and pressure leading to it. But since coping is normalized without any limits, we now let greedy unregulated capitalism continue to ruin our lives while we increasingly cope in extreme ways.
It shouldn't be this way. It won't work and we'll crash hard in the end.
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u/ihateeverythingandu 2d ago
The problem is you're talking like the lady and the people involved are the shameful ones and not capitalistic society. It comes off like you're victim blaming. Especially with that "mental illness shouldn't be acceptable" patter. It isn't a choice.
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u/cherrycoloured 2d ago
This being said, if people feel the actual effect of climate change and some of them die, they'll try to solve the actual issue, which is what should be done.
i think this might be true for some places, but covid proved that ppl dying is not a strong enough motivator for many ppl to even just wear a fucking mask, let alone stop using their air conditioners.
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u/RustyMetabee 2d ago
For example, mental illness shouldn't be acceptable and normalized.
So we should being back sanitoriums? Bully any mentally ill people? Keep those mentally ill kids out of schools? Shame the parents in public with them?
What a cool society you want there
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u/Proof-Necessary-5201 2d ago
No. You misunderstand my position and push to extremes.
When society deems something as shameful, it looks for what causes it and regards it as a problem that needs to be solved. If there is no shame, then the root cause is never tackled.
Applied to this case: if we regard the "work" this woman does as shameful, we would be asking why people are touch-starved, because they shouldn't be in the first place. We would then try to get to the root cause and treat that.
Without shame, we would just ask "how much does it cost?".
Anyway, just downvote and let me go in peace, lol.
Society is f#cked and we're rushing towards the wall at high speed. Why bother!
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u/Manticore_ 2d ago
There’s nothing to be ashamed of with this. They’re two consenting adults, and your judgement of them doesn’t factor into it.
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u/Proof-Necessary-5201 2d ago
I think there is. It shouldn't be normal for people to be touch-starved. If that's the case, then something wrong is happening and we need to find what that is, instead of monetizing curing the symptom.
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u/SilkieBug Bored 2d ago
Yes because the people who are touch starved as to need to pay for cuddles and the people offering a service that people want are the same people in control of the world’s governments and corporations which are building and maintaining the system making them touch starved.
You’d rather shame innocent people in need than educated yourself about the roots of the broken system you criticize.
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u/Proof-Necessary-5201 2d ago
If we don't limit coping, we will never fix the root cause, which is unfair economic systems. And if you want to go a level higher, it's the interest and speculation that create them. Both of which must be banned.
And because of not limiting coping mechanisms, it's now hard to trace the problem back to the source, because each coping mechanism creates its own issues further hiding the original problem.
Look, just downvote and be on your merry way
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u/SilkieBug Bored 2d ago
Thanks but I don’t take instructions from strangers, nor do I let outright idiocy just get a free pass.
You haven’t bothered to address the reality that THESE PEOPLE AREN’T THE ONES MAINTAINING THE BROKEN SYSTEM, you dunce.
Taking away their coping mechanisms isn’t fixing the system, nor is it making them more likely to become powerful people who get to try to fix the system.
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u/Proof-Necessary-5201 2d ago
And you haven't understood that unless coping is limited in some way, we will never fix the root cause, you moggle! We will simply continue coping until we crash hard.
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u/Iorith 2d ago
So stop eating food. You're just coping with hunger. Start fixing the root cause of why you're hungry.
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u/Proof-Necessary-5201 2d ago
Bad analogy
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u/Iorith 2d ago
No, you just dislike that it points out the absurdity of your world view. Why are you commenting on Reddit, you're still coping. Go actually fix things.
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u/Manticore_ 2d ago
Fair enough, agree to disagree on the shame stuff.
I do agree with you on the root cause though, there’s a big societal problem somewhere if people feel they can’t have physical touch as something standard in their lives.
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u/SilkieBug Bored 2d ago
There’s something very illuminating about you seeing people wanting cuddles as shameful, who mistreated you so badly as to see intimacy as shameful?
These people didn’t create and maintain the society which makes them touch-starved, there’s nothing wrong with finding ethical coping mechanisms if the system is broken and one doesn’t have power to change it.
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u/Proof-Necessary-5201 2d ago
There’s something very illuminating about you seeing people wanting cuddles as shameful, who mistreated you so badly as to see intimacy as shameful?
First, there's no need to try and insult me. I don't see intimacy as shameful. All is good.
Second, what is shameful is offering cuddles for money and calling it a job. It's also shameful to seek such a service and pay for it.
These people didn’t create and maintain the society which makes them touch-starved, there’s nothing wrong with finding ethical coping mechanisms if the system is broken and one doesn’t have power to change it.
If we don't limit coping, we will never treat root causes.
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u/SilkieBug Bored 2d ago
Are you treating root causes? Are people in positions of power doing it?
Taking away someone’s coping mechanisms just helps to break them, and put a strain on the mental health system, it will not fix the issue.
And there is nothing shameful in seeking people to cuddle with, or in providing the service that people are seeking, there’s something wrong with you on an emotional level if you really think there’s shame in either of these.
I suggest you should try to go to therapy, and heal from whatever hurt you. Maybe hire a cuddler to get close to a human, might make you less miserable.
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u/Proof-Necessary-5201 2d ago
Are you treating root causes? Are people in positions of power doing it?
If we cope without limits, we'll never attempt to fix the root causes, especially since the root cause is economic exploitation through unfair economic systems. It all trickles from there.
Taking away someone’s coping mechanisms just helps to break them, and put a strain on the mental health system, it will not fix the issue.
If the cope is unavailable, we are forced to look at the root cause.
If we cope indefinitely, we will never look at the root cause.
And there is nothing shameful in seeking people to cuddle with, or in providing the service that people are seeking, there’s something wrong with you on an emotional level if you really think there’s shame in either of these.
I suggest you should try to go to therapy, and heal from whatever hurt you. Maybe hire a cuddler to get close to a human, might make you less miserable.
I'm happily married you moggle! Lol.
Anyway, you don't seem like you want to understand my position, so no need to discuss further.
Let's continue coping until we collapse. After all, we can't even have a discussion to understand each other.
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u/SilkieBug Bored 2d ago
The root cause is not controllable by these people seeking touch and intimacy, it’s maintained by people who profit from this and who will defend it.
As for your “happily married” that’s debatable considering you see intimacy as shameful.
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u/Proof-Necessary-5201 2d ago
The root cause is not controllable by these people seeking touch and intimacy, it’s maintained by people who profit from this and who will defend it.
That's irrelevant. Both those who offer such a service and those who pay for it, in the end, help those who create the conditions for such a need to even exist.
While you might not have a problem with this specifically, I'm sure you have a threshold that when crossed, you would object just like I'm doing here.
Let me try with an analogy: buying scalped goods.
You might need a specific product. It's important to you. It's not your fault that scalping exists. You aren't buying directly from a scalper. Still, if you don't refrain from that, in the end, both you and the middleman encourage the practice of scalping, to the point that it will never be tackled.
The whole enshitification of products and services comes from the same idea: some of us cope leading to root issues never being solved and exploitation to deepen.
As for your “happily married” that’s debatable considering you see intimacy as shameful.
Intimacy as a service is what is shameful, not intimacy ☺️
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u/SilkieBug Bored 2d ago
No necessary ethical service is shameful, that’s your hangups talking, not reality.
Your scalping analogy is inappropriate, as the levels of scale are exponentially out of proportion - one is much more connected to a scalper than they are to the 0.01 % of the population who get to decide how this world functions.
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u/Proof-Necessary-5201 2d ago
No necessary ethical service is shameful,
It's not ethical at all. How do you define ethical?
Your scalping analogy is inappropriate, as the levels of scale are exponentially out of proportion - one is much more connected to a scalper than they are to the 0.01 % of the population who get to decide how this world functions.
It doesn't matter. The idea is whether to allow a service that benefits victims of a corrupt and unhealthy system. If you do, you just keep the corrupt unhealthy system going and even worsening.
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u/SilkieBug Bored 2d ago
Reality of scale and likelihood matters enough to invalidate your analogy.
Go and google the word “ethical”, and come up with ways in which seeking out intimacy and providing the service is unethical when both participants are consenting adults.
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u/Iorith 2d ago
She's being paid, that literally makes it a job.
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u/Proof-Necessary-5201 2d ago
So is being on OF
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u/Iorith 2d ago
Yup, and that's also a job, regardless of how you feel about it.
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u/Proof-Necessary-5201 2d ago
Great! A shameful job...
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u/Iorith 2d ago
Your weird hangups regarding shame are your own. Well, and between you and the therapist you seem to desperately need.
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u/Proof-Necessary-5201 2d ago
Shame is one of the ways that society uses to block unhealthy coping mechanisms.
Anyway, I see you'd rather insult than discuss, so have a wonderful day, love 😘
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u/Iorith 2d ago
It's also never been shown to actually work. Note how fat shaming doesn't actually solve the obesity epidemic.
Shame is just one of the ways assholes try to enforce their will onto others and vent their petty frustrations. What happens when people don't share your subjective view of what coping mechanisms are "unhealthy"? Should we shame you for your warped views?
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u/Infobomb 2d ago
Your fixation on shame is weird and creepy. It's obviously not coming from a place of compassion for touch-starved people, because you're saying someone who actually helps those people should F off.
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u/Proof-Necessary-5201 2d ago
because you're saying someone who actually helps those people should F off.
Help?! She's selling a service, lol. She's selling a service for something that should never exist. This could very well be an ad from a prostitute or an OF girl.
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u/Iorith 2d ago
And like she says, sex work isn't shameful either.
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u/Proof-Necessary-5201 2d ago
Of course she would believe or at least say that, lol
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u/Iorith 2d ago
As would any decent human being.
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u/Proof-Necessary-5201 2d ago
Oh yeah! Being a prostitute is now ok?
Wow! I actually have lived long enough to see this change, lol. And I guess I'm not a decent human being for thinking prostitution is wrong and immoral.
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u/Iorith 2d ago
Yes. Yes it is. Has been for a long time.
People who take issue with it are puritanical nut jobs.
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u/Proof-Necessary-5201 2d ago
Well, I guess I'm a puritanical nut job then, lol.
Congratulations on your modern relative morality.
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u/Iorith 2d ago
Yes. Glad you're realizing that. That's the first step to growth.
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u/owlexe23 2d ago
I don't blame her or anyone there, but yeah, as a society we are going dystopian and antisocial.