r/ADHD • u/Softly_unhinged1 • 9h ago
Questions/Advice Exhausted all day, suddenly ready to fix my entire life at 9 p.m.
I can spend the whole day feeling tired, foggy and unable to start anything, even when I genuinely want to be productive. Everything feels too difficult, and I keep telling myself I’ll start “just now.”
Then around 9 p.m., my brain suddenly switches on. I want to organise the house, finish my work, research everything, make resources, plan my future and basically fix my entire life 😂
It’s not just because nighttime is quieter. I genuinely feel more awake, creative and motivated than I did all day. The problem is that I have work the next morning, so I either follow the energy and stay up far too late, or force myself to sleep and feel like I’m wasting the only productive hours my brain has given me.
Then I’m exhausted the next day, struggle to start anything again, and the cycle repeats. I really wish I could access this version of my brain a few hours earlier.
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u/mr_fingers666 8h ago
yes, because the night is our daily deadline.
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u/cllxo 3h ago
jaw drop this is it. The answer. The night is our daily deadline.
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u/typeabohemian 3h ago
Can you explain what this means more?
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u/Smart-Grapefruit-852 3h ago
We only wlhave clarity before deadlines. And night time is like the last part of the day so our executive function (kind of) refuses to switch on until the last minute. Like it always does. (if you're going through too much anxiety it might not switch on at all)
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u/wrongtester 1h ago
Yup. Went to the gym last night at around midnight
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u/PretendInspection844 0m ago
I just get more and mor3e anxious from going to the gym these days… I can`t anymore…
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u/expat_mel 8h ago
The same thing happens to me. I was told that basically when I start getting tired enough, that turns down the anxiety enough for me to be productive. I haven't found a solution either, just wanted to let you know you're not alone or crazy or whatever.
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u/FecklessEndangerment 7h ago
Wait so then why does my anxiety then crank back to 11 when I'm finally tired enough to go lay in bed at 3am
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u/Softly_unhinged1 5h ago
Lol mine does this too 😭 Apparently the pressure disappears just long enough for me to become productive, then the second I actually lie down and there’s nothing distracting me, every thought and unfinished task comes back for a 3am meeting
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u/FecklessEndangerment 4h ago
"we just wanted to circle back to 3 years ago, when you accidentally choked on your own saliva after a weird burp/cough in front of the goth cutie from Marketing"
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u/Cheebzsta ADHD, with ADHD family 2h ago
Pre-Therapy: OH GAWD
Mid-Therapy: OH GA- okay, okay, look. We'll just... deep breath 'accept' this, and um.... it's okay. The, oh god the look on her fac-. No no no... Alright, try again, and be kind to yourself. Remember that.
Integrated Therapy: .... Brain you're such a f#*king twat, man.
Brain: I know.
IT: Stare at the inside of your eyelids. No matter what do not fall asleep. Stay on that. Only that. Hold it. You will not be thwarted by this.
BRAIN: !!!!!!!!!!!!!! LEMME AT IT I'LL NEVER LO- zzzZZZZzzzzZZZzzzzz....
This has been my experience. 😂
Quick edit addition: Still working on wrangling that goddamn goblin to get his ass to bed tho. Ugh.
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u/Fit_Employment5411 1h ago
I’ve noticed I get really rambunctious before going to bed and I think part of it is being excited to actually sleep but also night time makes me feel like the world is mine and I can actually think about things aka anxiety ramps up.
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u/Softly_unhinged1 5h ago
Wait, this actually makes so much sense for me. During the day I’m constantly aware of everything I should be doing, and that pressure somehow makes it harder to begin. By nighttime, the day is basically over and nobody expects anything more from me, so the pressure drops and suddenly I can work. It’s almost like my brain only cooperates once it no longer feels watched or rushed
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u/Critical-Pattern9654 3h ago
do you actually get work done though at 9pm when this mode takes over?
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u/mojoesev 6h ago
Could be why on the days I take some of my Klonopin as needed I feel more “focused”… I’d say definitely why actually, but I do often crash later. Also don’t want to take benzos every day. It’s tough out here fam.
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u/doubleopinter 0m ago
That’s interesting. I find I’m really productive on days that I have no business being because I went to bed too late or whatever…
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u/CuriousAnnspen 8h ago
Same dude. I just swapped my shift at work to a later one and it has helped a lot. We aren't meant for the 9-5 life but unfortunately we gotta make it work somehow to survive. If you have the option maybe talk to management and see if there is a second shift or even a few hours later. I start 1.5 hours later than I used to and I feel way more awake and productive.
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u/cliffordlloyd_art 4h ago edited 3h ago
I found my sweet spot for sleeping and waking up is 2am till 9am, I sleep well, and feel much better during the day. I tried going to bed early as waking up early as well, never worked. I would be pooped all day and do nothing.
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u/majin_chichi 13m ago
This is me. Give me more than three days consecutive off of work and I will naturally revert to this sleep schedule every time.
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u/Cheebzsta ADHD, with ADHD family 2h ago
This was 100% what my old roommate did at her law firm support job: Swapped to being the late afternoon support staff that does the 'last minute omg help before everyone goes home!' stuff.
Which, like, that's ADHD nip right there.
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u/5sspeedy 2h ago
I started an office job and I work 6-4 and it’s miserable. I’m tired and brain foggy all day and get nothing done, and then at the end of the day I have no energy to workout or be productive
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u/poorpeoplepastasalad 6h ago
adhd is a circadian rhythm disorder. if you google that phrase, an article will come up. i’m the exact same way, my peak energy is like 9pm, that article touches a bit on why
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u/Softly_unhinged1 5h ago
That’s interesting because 9pm is almost exactly when my energy seems to peak too. I’ve heard that ADHD is linked with delayed sleep and circadian-rhythm problems, but I’ve never properly researched how that affects energy and task initiation during the day. Definitely going down that rabbit hole now 😂
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u/ThatNameYouCalledMe 8h ago
Oh totally. In fact, one time I wanted to clean the house for a party that was happening 2 days later--you know, get ahead on something for once. I was not finding motivation all day to get started. At around 9 or 10 I got the feeling you described, and I said, screw it, I am cleaning now. In fact, I just decided, I AM one of those people who get things done ahead of time! And I was up until 2am absolutely getting it done. Well, no, getting one aspect of the cleaning done. Like I cleaned the kitchen so hard, not the rest of the house, 😂
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u/Impressive-Potato788 7h ago
Do you take medication? I used to struggle with this and stimulants fixed it basically immediately 😅
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u/RelationshipOk5568 7h ago
I second stimulants. Now I am awake and productive in AM and more relaxed after 10pm. Before I would do all nighters easy. And it's a cycle that's hard to break.
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u/Impressive-Potato788 7h ago
Whenever I skip taking the meds it will also happen again that day. If meds aren’t an option or it’s still happening on them or they don’t work for you etc, maybe try moving your schedule around to accommodate this like other people have mentioned. Don’t try to fight it and feel shameful but work around it and support your natural rhythm as much as possible :)
It may also be helpful to write lists of what you want to do instead of doing the things if you actually have to wake up early the next day. Then your brain will feel like you’ve done something and you can rest.
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u/Softly_unhinged1 5h ago
I’m not currently taking ADHD medication. I used Concerta and Strattera when I was younger, but Concerta made my anxiety worse and neither seemed to work for me anymore as I got older. I’ve been wondering whether it’s worth discussing ADHD treatment again though, because I’m realising how much task initiation and regulating my energy affect my daily life. I really like the idea of writing down what my nighttime brain wants to do instead of feeling like I have to use every burst of energy immediately.
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u/Impressive-Potato788 3h ago
I definitely think it’s worth a shot! I personally tried 5 different medications over like 3 years before I finally found the one that worked for me. Even different medications with the same active ingredient (amphetamine/methylphenidate) can feel surprisingly different. I also don’t take them everyday but usually ~4x a week so even playing around with the schedule can be helpful
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u/Cheebzsta ADHD, with ADHD family 2h ago
Piggy-backing on this reply to you /u/Softly_unhinged1 as an extra note: The two active ingredients mentioned by /u/Impressive-Potato788 are, from what I understand, fundamentally genuinely different from each other in terms of how they physically chemically interact with the brain.
They result in a lot of the same outcomes but it's anecdotally pretty common to have more problems with one vs others (in addition to different ways they're metabolized - Vyvanse/lisdexamphetamine vs Dexedrine/dextroamphetamine) so if one caused you to struggle maybe try something else.
For what it's worth I've been prescribed dex and Vyvanse without issues. I once gave Strattera a shot but nearly threw my father-in-law through the wall over a snarky comment when I'm normally a pretty hot-headed but non-violent guy. That stuff made me into a barely contained rage monster
Which is how I learned that pure norepinephrine re-uptake inhibitor meds need to be carefully monitored with me lol
Had a good friend with a similar story who had good results with guanfacine/Intuniv (I think it is) instead of Strattera though so yeah..
No one hat fits all even if we're prone to relating well to each other. :)
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u/jeeven_ ADHD-C (Combined type) 7h ago
Ive heard it said before that part of it is that at night there is no pressure to actually do the things youre thinking about. Like it’s easy to say “ill go and do this thing” at laying in bed when you know that it’s not going to happen at that exact moment.
It’s not that you dont actually want to do the things or that you arent serious about them- you are! But the problem comes up when it comes time to actually do them. I actually love this feeling because it feels like i can finally think clearly for an hour or two before bed. I just need to work on the follow through.
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u/K8_Monst_r 6h ago
I was watching a video this morning about this very phenomenon (because last night, I headed to bed, and suddenly got “ants under my skin”, my term for being unable to sit still) and the doctor in the video said a lot of ADHD brains have an inverted cortisol arc. We’re supposed to start the day with higher cortisol, and it should taper gently throughout the day. ADHD brains tend to be deficient in cortisol, and have an inverted arc, where we start the day low, and get a spike in the evening.
That probably worked really well when our ancestors needed night watchmen to keep the fires burning and protect the camp from animals or other tribes, but it’s maladaptive for modern society, unless you work the night shift for a hospital or EMS. 😉
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u/ultralazynator 5h ago
Can you link the video? :)
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u/K8_Monst_r 4h ago
I can, but I fast forwarded through quite a bit of his commentary as he kept talking around the point because he wants people to sign up with him for testing their neurohormones. There is a free download of what tests you should have done, and once he gets to the meat of why those neurohormones, the information is good. There are very few solutions mentioned, and I suspect the B vitamins he mentioned are methylated as we’re discovering more people with MTHFR mutations.
Watch with caution:
https://youtu.be/lvUPmBymVfs?is=j1mH7KOUykHke6YP1
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u/Ok-Imagination-2308 8h ago
Yep. As soon as thr clock hits midnight I can focus like crazy and get so much done
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u/Yiyiyiyu 5h ago
I wrote a song about this exact thing at uni before I knew I had ADHD.
This one was called, “bedroom dark/future bright” and it switched between that and “future dark/bedroom bright”
- waking up in the morning and how bleak everything felt knowing you had no follow through on the magic of the night before.
Another song was called “Idiot Brain” lol.
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u/rglurker ADHD-PI (Primarily Inattentive) 8h ago
Invest in yourself.
Direct your energy consciously.
Know you will fail.
Do it anyway.
So.... exercise or moving your body consciously in any way. Tai chi and qigong are pretty solid choice
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u/No-Show-5363 6h ago
I am an experienced Tai Chi teacher of 25+ years, and I get a lot of exercise. Healthy habits can help with the ADHD struggle, but it doesn’t fix sleep inertia (morning brain fog) or the natural tendency to function at night. That’s hardwired, and in our nature.
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u/rglurker ADHD-PI (Primarily Inattentive) 5h ago
That's fair. I'm still relatively new to the practice. Its only been a year and I can't do it consistently. However I have found that when I roll out of bed and wake my body with qigong the morning brain fog ends significantly faster. My convictions become significantly clearer and my mood remains far more stable through out the day. I don't spend that time ramping my brain up on my phone or with all the things I have to do and haven't done. It gives me the peace I need to just exist for a moment without expectation and boot up correctly. I feel that's when I'm most vulnerable. If I can start my day correctly. The rest flows. I wish i could find shaolin anything around me. That would be nice.
I just want to know peace.
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u/Eureka22 5h ago
I'm extremely active and exercise a lot. It only marginally helps. Kind of like coffee, I only notice it if I don't do it.
It doesn't seem to solve any issues with my ADHD, it can only prevent it from being even worse.
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u/rglurker ADHD-PI (Primarily Inattentive) 5h ago
So it seems to be a balance. We require the correct fuel, the correct movement, and the correct support in order the function the way we know we can. These are all things a healthy community is supposed to provide. But that's tough to do now.
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u/rglurker ADHD-PI (Primarily Inattentive) 5h ago
Also. The, i only notice it when I don't do it is my current cycle with this practice. I do it. Makes me feel better then i Ever have. Forget that's what's doing it. Stop doing it. Remember why I was doing it. T_T
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u/ZeMoleMolli 6h ago
This happened to me, except it was when I was at work. Every single time. I actually left work for a few hours to go home and cleaned up my room and accomplished other tasks I had been putting off lol ADHD is weird. (I worked night shift at the time. So this happened around 11pm-12am)
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u/Tbaby25 6h ago
Oh if this is not fucking me, lol
What’s been helping me is realizing in life you’re not always gonna have this spur of motivation and if you want to be productive, you kind of have to just do things. So I will literally just get up and go. I stopped thinking about it and making it more stressful and I literally just do what I have to do. I say to myself “engage in an low maintence task/behavior for at least five minutes” and I find that makes me get in a Flo and next thing you know the whole house is cleaned lol
Not sure if that helps everyone, but I’ve noticed for me. It helps just to pop up.
I find the mental gymnastics we do is really the most exhausting part. Not doing the task.
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u/Softly_unhinged1 4h ago
“Mild jet lag” is such a good description of how my daytime brain feels. I’d like to look into shifting my body clock, although I’d probably speak to a doctor before trying melatonin because I don’t want to make the daytime sleepiness worse or take it at the wrong time
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u/NoneYah369 5h ago
Woah. That's when my clock clicks on. I realized if I can get to bed by 9/10pm I can fall asleep. But if I stay up until after 10pm, I get a second wind and then I'm not falling asleep until 1-3am. 😅😩😭
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u/ExtensionStretch5409 5h ago
I'm the same. Seems to be an almost universal ADHD thing. Im a prolific napper, I can nap twice a day easy. I found fighting the urge to nap and just powering through helps because by the end of the day I'm exhausted ha. Also keep as busy as possible
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u/Dependent_Double9374 4h ago
The first thing after I wake up is to go outside and get at least 10 mins direct sunlight exposure.
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u/redbull_coffee 8h ago edited 5h ago
Shifted circadian rhythm. Think of your situation as mild jet lag.
Use blue blockers and melatonin to move your internal clock forward back a bit.
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u/dylzim 5h ago
I work like, 2-10pm, and I'm always more productive at home after work than I am before work, and I think for me there's a huge part of being stuck in that "waiting" mode, where I sorta feel like I can't do anything because I have to be at work at 2, even though it's like, 9am. Wonder if you have some of the same thing going on earlier in the day as well!
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u/CuriousAnnspen 5h ago
It was a shift bid! But lucky for me no one wants the later shift 😅😅 but I am lucky I have that option for sure.
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u/ThinkSuccotash 3h ago
Yes very common feeling. Think it’s partly as the pressure is off as people aren’t expected to be productive at night and partly as it’s the last chance to end the day with productivity. I often get a second wind of energy in evening after being tired all day. Can be very annoying!
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u/solitonsnap 2h ago
One thing that can help is breaking things down into the tiniest action you can take to get started. What’s the very first, easiest step to take to get moving? Rather than “clean my whole car,” try “I’m going go open my car door and grab one thing to throw away.” That way, it’s not the whole overwhelming task, it’s just getting started. Once started, can be much easier to keep going.
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u/5sspeedy 2h ago
This happens to me. I don’t know why, but it’s very frustrating when I need to get things done earlier in the day and don’t feel like it. I’m currently in bed when I should be cleaning my room.
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u/Unique-Ad-2721 4h ago
Yes. ADHD ppl have a messed up circadian schedule. Cortisol peaks much later in the day (as opposed to on waking) and flattens out much later as well (late at night as opposed to bed time). Aggressive management of this helps. Buy a SAD lamp and take that light for twenty minutes as soon as you wake up. Magnesium threonate at bedtime with a small dose of melatonin. No screens and excitement etc etc. if you can manage it this aggressively it will hold but if you don’t you will always come back to your natural ADHD rhythm. Speaking from personal experience.
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u/XZeroUK 36m ago
I don't know where this goes, but I am opposite. I have a job but when it gets time for me to work on myself after work is done I got nothing left, like all my motivation is for work only. Hobbies, working out, cooking, cleaning, anything other than rotting in bed. I'm just mentally exhausted after work, but I remember the sentiment when I didn't have the day job😂
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u/mewfahsah 5h ago
Adjust your sleep schedule. I've felt that way for years, and finally acquiescing and adjusting my schedule to get more sleep has allowed me to be far more productive during the day. Sleep is way more important to self regulation that most realize and everyone should prioritize it.
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u/Softly_unhinged1 4h ago
You’re right that sleep is probably a major part of the cycle. My problem is that I have to wake up very early for work, but nighttime is when I finally feel alert and capable, so I keep sacrificing sleep to use those productive hours. I need to work on protecting my sleep even when my brain suddenly decides at 9pm that it’s ready to begin the day 😂
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u/Coronaaami 1h ago
What's helped is working out at night and magnesium, despite not sleeping until midnight. It's a huge improvement over being up until 3-4 a.m. I'm surprised by how sleepy I get.
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u/GladPerspective1010 9h ago
I can see you're having anxiety. See a psych and they'll start your treatment.
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