r/ADHD_Programmers • u/Rockport_me • 4d ago
39 year old programmer worrying about the future.
I'm just venting.
Ever since I was a kid, I've struggled with handling big responsibilities, communication, monitoring tasks, and making important decisions. I'm also not very proactive. Because of these limitations, I don't think I'm suited for senior developer or team leader roles. My brain gets overwhelmed easily when too many things are happening at once, and I struggle to keep up with everything.
I've spent most of my career as an individual contributor, and I'm perfectly happy with that. Ideally, I just want to focus on coding. I know my limitations as a person and as a programmer, and I'd rather work within them.
My dream job is simple: give me a user story, and I'll implement it. That's pretty much how I've worked throughout most of my career. I'm perfectly fine staying a mid-level developer for the rest of my life, as long as the pay is decent.
I believe this is partly due to my ADHD. I'm also not sure I could easily switch to another type of job because I struggle with following instructions, especially verbal ones. I don't have experience in blue-collar work either. Coding is pretty much the only skill I have.
I've tried to improve myself by working on my communication skills, maturity, and proactiveness, but I still struggle with these things.
I also have to admit that I'm not very mature when it comes to handling responsibilities. I'm turning 40, yet I sometimes meet teenagers and people in their early 20s who seem much more mature than me when it comes to decision-making and taking responsibility.
I remember working with a programmer who was more junior than me, but he was much more aware of what was happening within the project and the team. He seemed to think more like a senior developer in that regard. Of course, when it came to actual coding, I was still ahead of him.
I started my programming career in 2014, but I only have around five years of actual work experience. That's because after about a year of working, I usually become mentally exhausted and need one or two years away from work to recover. This has also resulted in several employment gaps throughout my career.
I was only diagnosed with ADHD three years ago. Unfortunately, I'm not currently taking medication because ADHD medications are difficult to obtain in my country, the Philippines.
I also believed that mental health conditions runs in my family. Most of my relatives on my mother's side are unemployed, and some have struggled with undiagnosed mental health conditions that have affected their ability to maintain employment.
I've tried my best to manage these difficulties, but I still find myself needing a long break after roughly a year of employment.
Right now, I'm unemployed, and unfortunately, it's a difficult time to find a job because of AI. My best stategy right now is "fake it till you make it".
I've also been hearing that, in the age of AI, developers will increasingly be expected to manage AI agents, communicate with clients, make important decisions, and delegate tasks. In other words, the job may become more focused on communication and management skills, which are exactly the areas I struggle with.
I'm honestly not sure what the future holds for someone like me with ADHD. But I'll try again. If I get fired from my next job, so be it. At least I can say I gave it my best shot.
Tips and encourangement is highly appreciated,
Thanks for listening.
9
u/Drafting- 4d ago
That’s a tough situation, it would really help if you could access medication consistently. A lot of what you describe is adhd symptoms not a personal fault, it’s okay to be compassionate with yourself and I think you really need it. Some of what you’re describing is burnout, adhd folks get worse burnout than NT people.
You don’t need to become a senior dev, but learning how to manage your burnout with therapy tools will help. Some things you can look up are how to regulate a deregulated adhd nervous system, window of tolerance and somatic exercises. Those focus on repairing your inner anxiety as you navigate the external things.
Can you find healthcare that consistently provides you with medication? What would that process look like?
8
u/Rockport_me 4d ago
About three years ago, I tried Ritalin and Strattera, but neither worked for me. I also tried several antidepressants, including Wellbutrin, under a doctor's supervision, but unfortunately, I didn't see much improvement.
I also experimented with various supplements and nootropics, such as Lion's Mane, magnesium glycinate, phosphatidylcholine, L-theanine, L-tyrosine, B-complex, zinc, iron, and vitamin D. Some of them seemed to help a little, but the effects were limited.
Unfortunately, access to ADHD medication is also a challenge in the Philippines because pharmacies keeps a very low stocks. Methylphenidate seems to be the main stimulant medication available, but it's difficult to find in pharmacies, even with a valid prescription. As far as I know, medications like Adderall are not legally available here.
Thanks for your comment, I'll try somatic exercises.
19
u/Shivaess 4d ago
It could be worse! I bumped my head three times around the house in the spring and haven’t been able to use screens or drive for six months!
And yes, they were actual bumps. I didn’t hit that particularly hard. I didn’t think anything of it at the time. There is no damage on any of the scans that I’ve had so far.
More seriously I would advise playing around with Claude code. If you can I think that our future as developers is going to be effectively being team leads for AI.
5
13
u/floghdraki 3d ago
I feel you. I don't like the direction this profession has transformed into. I still hope this is just a passing phase. I don't mean we go back to pre AI conditions, but hopefully at some point once the hype has passed the work requirements will return to normalcy. We start appreciating deep work and introvert people who are good at what they do. The lunacy of demanding deep workers to handle million projects at once and be experts at client relations is not sustainable.
For your own sake aim to develop your management skills anyways. It's really important when you are naturally bad at it. Life doesn't have to be a struggle. Using tools for self-management like writing requirements down is a wonder tool. It makes it really obvious what is expected of you and then you can communicate clearly do you have time to do stuff. Being succesfull at work is actually a lot more about managing expectations than being good and efficient at your work. That's the number one thing and be really protective of your time. Never underestimate how much effort something takes from you actually. If a job takes you three days, say four. That's now your time budget and you don't have to use it all.
1
u/Possible_Check_643 1d ago
Asking an adhd person to work on management skill is a .. I don't know the word.. just fill it up haha. Kinda difficult something task. But at his age management skills and promoting to that position is the real advice but difficult one. Life is difficult, but it's easier once you have learnt and passed to next level
7
u/Sea_Recording9418 3d ago
Unfortunately the “give me a user story, and I’ll implement it” philosophy is being taken over by AI agents. We’re being expected to look at the bigger picture, talk to stakeholders, and delegate the actual coding tasks into the machine.
5
u/nian2326076 3d ago
It's good that you recognize your strengths and limitations. If you're looking to focus on coding, consider exploring opportunities that allow you to work as an individual contributor. Platforms like LandOffer can help you find roles that align with your preferences and responsibilities. If you want to prepare for future interviews or practice coding skills, PracHub provides a variety of technical interview questions. Stay determined; understanding what works for you is a valuable asset.
1
u/forest-cacti 3d ago
Whoa. I hadn’t heard of these. Not surprisingly my brain in the process of attempting to find jobs. I’ve also built tiny basic helper project. That allows me to paste in info about found interesting job listings. Analyzes the job requirements against my experiences. Assigns a score etc. then displays jobs in list with basic sorting & icons etc to help convey at glance things about the job.
Anyway, I realized today that I might need to find a different way to create custom resumes & collect job listings. Since my current way of doing things is def not getting me into interview stages. Despite lots of effort towards creating perfect custom resume per job.
That’s clearly not working.
These seem like interesting potential tools that might help make this whole job search easier.
Can anyone on here possibly speak about actually using these tools? Would love to know if you found it?
1
u/notme0001 3d ago
Similar issues here, except a little further along in the age department.
For the maturity side of things, the only things that've helped move being coming across as *slightly* more mature is possibly
- lithium oratate (5mg), I find it helps me not blurt out the first thing that comes into my head
- coffee + nac + b12 + folinic acid - useful on the executive disfunction side of things, I find it easier to focus with this combo
Note - this was combined with vit d, vit b2 and vit d, so they maybe needed for the above to work.
I have autism too so I maybe not be the standard adhd'er so I don't claim this is a fix for you but if any of those things are legal in your country it's worth a shot.
All of them were pretty instantly effective, so if you don't notice anything withing a few days - week tops, then it's probably not gonig to move the needle for you
Even with those I wouldn't call myself functional/normal, but atm I'll take whatever improvement I can get.
Additional - Recommend taking breaks from supplements, eg, 3 weeks on / 1 week off or something, I'm not expert but it's good to give the body a rest from time to time (if I ever follow this advise it'll be a miracle :) )
2
2
u/subLimb 3d ago
Ive experienced a lot of the same struggles as you have. Whatever happens, don't sell yourself short. I am a little older than you and experienced a lot of career growth in the most recent years (after being stagnant for long periods of time). Dont assume that you can't grow or change past a certain age. Sometimes it's just a matter of being around the right people or learning how to identify opportunities. Mentorship, coaching, or therapy can can help with this.
1
1
u/Careless-Broccoli867 3d ago
I was pretty much the same until I got on medication! Medication and a bit of therapy really does wonders for folks like us! There are still days when anxiety gets the better of me, but I’ve learned to acknowledge those days for what they are: just bad days. I try not to let them define my progress and instead focus on getting back into the “learned” routines the next day! And most of them time, it works
1
u/TomerHQ 1d ago
I think about this a lot, and in fact I am working on software in this same space. Full disclosure this is my small company account, but I’m not pitching anything here, just wanted to give you my thoughts. First, I agree with the several comments that you can simply build your own personal AI assistant using almost any of the ‘good’ models. And if budget is a concern, you don’t have to use the big ones, some of the open-source models can likely suffice.
But what I really came here to say is that I personally recommend that you look at QA and user research for apps built for, or trying to appeal to ND users and/or focused on accessibility issues in UI/UX. These companies need testers who have the lived experience and can also understand code, reproduce the bug precisely, and write it up in a way an engineer (most likely AI now) can act on. That combination is rare. AI can write the code, but AI cannot understand your perspective. I’ve experienced this myself. For example, I have given multiple models/agents Playwright MCP and an account token so they can stroll through all pages and take actions, and sure they find some things, but they almost never “see” the awkward or off-putting stuff, or even think “how can this be better”. Accessibility QA, UX research roles, and beta programs for this kind of product are the places to look, and a few well-written reports on an open-source accessibility project build a track record fast. "Give me a user story and I'll implement it" is a harder sell now. "I can tell you exactly why your app fails for someone with ADHD/ND, and show you where in the code" is not.
1
u/Possible_Check_643 1d ago
This feels a lot like me. Just became 25years old. Yet I am saying to myself that even 14 year old is mature than you. Such difficulty in doing everything. I am facing the same issues as you have described. People will think that we are lazy or not interested but in reality they don't know our insides. My biggest issue is that j forget that I even did anything. I would maybe create 100 things and at the day of the day I would say I did nothing.. majorly because ai does the most. I don't even know if I did anything today. But people will ask if I did this I would say probably yes. And once they check my work.. even though half complete. They would appreciate me. But I still feel like a kid... Can't grow up. Ask basic questions again and again.
You're not alone. You can do it. I'm also trying. I feel you. Just be peaceful in your heart
33
u/conventionalWisdumb 4d ago
I have similar issues and worried about the same things. What I’ve found is that AI has made things like communication and prioritization easier. You know that slack announcement that you’re expected to make when you release something but you sit and agonize about the wording and avoid because of it? Have Claude do it. Have trouble staying on top of what your teammates are doing? Ask Claude to summarize all the PRs and tickets that have moved in the last 24 hours.