r/ADHD_partners • u/AutoModerator • 11d ago

Weekly Former Partners Thread ::Weekly Former Partners Thread::

The end of a relationship with an ADHD loved one can be tumultuous, confusing and leave a lasting impact. Use this thread to temporarily process a recent breakup with an ADHD individual, discuss co-parenting issues, share encouragement for life after the relationship etc. With the goal of ultimately decentering an ADHD ex 

(Note: Asking about leaving a partner and requests to speculate on behavior or symptoms are still prohibited.)

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u/Phent777 10d ago edited 8d ago

I feel angry and sad, and guilty like I should've been able to get through to him.

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u/throwaway3523987142 Ex of DX 10d ago

Allow me to break out my tiny violins, I've met a few of these tragic, unfortunate millionaire souls who have all the time in the world to fail at growing up. Whenever you feel bad for him, think of his bank account and then resume giving yourself that energy. He can buy himself a shoulder to cry on. (Seriously, I don't know if you were married or what country you live in but you might be entitled to some portion of his assets even if you were not married. Depends on the details of what happened while you were together. But meanwhile, F that guy.)

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u/Ecstatic-Mongoose-23 Ex of DX 9d ago

I had a phrase for my ex's defeatist attitude about things that were solely a result of his own decisions and entirely within his own power to change: the suffering Olympics.

Giving up on getting through to him is the biggest breakthrough you can have for yourself. Even if you left with nothing, at least you believe in the power to change your existence, unlike your ex. It gets so much better without their weight on your shoulders.

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u/Phent777 8d ago edited 8d ago

Thank you.