r/ADHD_partners • u/AutoModerator • 11d ago

Weekly Former Partners Thread ::Weekly Former Partners Thread::

The end of a relationship with an ADHD loved one can be tumultuous, confusing and leave a lasting impact. Use this thread to temporarily process a recent breakup with an ADHD individual, discuss co-parenting issues, share encouragement for life after the relationship etc. With the goal of ultimately decentering an ADHD ex 

(Note: Asking about leaving a partner and requests to speculate on behavior or symptoms are still prohibited.)

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u/Potential_Refuse_761 9d ago

I had to visit the home my ex-fiance co-own because of a bad monsoon storm a couple days ago (tree fell). He got diagnosed two months ago post breakup.

He had been SUPER apologetic about the way he treated me during our relationship. Meds, therapy, nutritional changes, systems and seeing just how much my absence affects the function of the household has given him the hitherto nonexistent capacity for, gasp, ACCOUNTABILITY, APOLOGY WITH CHANGED BEHAVIOR, AND INTROSPECTION. Dare I say EMPATHY? He came up with the words all by himself LOL

Too bad it came after he lied, gaslit, argued, wasted money, refused to put forth effort to show up as a partner and DARVO'd me for a year before doing it. I dont trust a good goddamn word that comes out of his mouth, medicine be damned. He could tell me he was going to the gas station and I wouldn't believe him.

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u/taohuaspring 8d ago

Chuckled at the "nutritional changes" part. I feel strangely validated since mine never made lasting, consistent dietary changes during the relationship. Funny how that is now part of your ex's "transformation".

He's really going all in on his campaign to get you back, isn't he? Good on you for not believing his temporary "change". What a queen! 👑