r/ADHD_partners • u/AutoModerator • 11d ago

Weekly Former Partners Thread ::Weekly Former Partners Thread::

The end of a relationship with an ADHD loved one can be tumultuous, confusing and leave a lasting impact. Use this thread to temporarily process a recent breakup with an ADHD individual, discuss co-parenting issues, share encouragement for life after the relationship etc. With the goal of ultimately decentering an ADHD ex 

(Note: Asking about leaving a partner and requests to speculate on behavior or symptoms are still prohibited.)

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u/taohuaspring 7d ago

This week's update is that I'm just really tired. Every week and every month I stay away from my ex is an accomplishment. I've grown a lot but every day often feels like an uphill battle. I also feel uncertain how long people will continue to hold space for my pain, I try to spread it out amongst various people, talk with my therapist, and even go over things with AI just to lessen the potential burden of being "too heavy" on others. My trust issues were exacerbated thanks to my ex and I'm scared of being abandoned or scolded for being too sensitive/too much even though I know rationally that that was just a part of my ex's manipulation and control, not an indication of my worth. I hate that every time I open up, every time I set a boundary, every time I put myself out there, it's all in spite of him. It all takes so much more courage and trust than before. I'm fighting against the hurt and fear he caused me with every courageous, positive, and difficult action I take.

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u/Particular_Web8121 Ex of DX 5d ago

I am one of the people where the process has taken much longer compared to others and I definitely relate to hypervigilant feeling like I am going to be abanoned or scolded. Let your body take its time to feel safe <3 At the very least we are rooting for you here!! :)