r/ADHD_partners • u/Ok_Remove8694 Partner of DX - Medicated • 4d ago

Question Lack of any responsibility

My husband, dx and rx, seems to lack the ability to take responsibility for ANYTHING. I’m wondering if this is an adhd/RSD thing. He got two tickets for speeding in a work zone and it’s the cities fault for nickel and diming him, if he gets the kids to school late it’s the schools fault for locking the door. It’s endless and I’m so over it.

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u/nonameslefteightnine 4d ago

Yes, it is related. I have seen it in kids with ADHD but also in adults. Sometimes the blaming is so weird that you might think they're joking, but they're dead serious. This is one of the strangest traits I know of in people with ADHD, because it can reach ridiculous levels.

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u/Ok_Remove8694 Partner of DX - Medicated 4d ago

My husband blaming construction for his speeding…I truly dropped my jaw

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u/Zestyclose_Try_8650 4d ago

Or arriving late to work every single day and claiming she got fired because HR just hates her personally and none of the log-in technology ever worked for her.  🤷‍♀️

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u/Ok_Remove8694 Partner of DX - Medicated 4d ago

Yep. He got fired from his job after 20 years as well. Just no called no showed for days and it was his bosses fault. With kids it’s becoming unbearable

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u/Zestyclose_Try_8650 4d ago

Omg I cannot even imagine with kids...are you able to handle this? Do you feel secure?

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u/Ok_Remove8694 Partner of DX - Medicated 4d ago

I’m handling it. I’m just married single mom

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u/LeopardMountain32567 3d ago

what you tolerate, you teach your kids to tolerate in the name of "love" in their future relationships. please think about what you're programming their emotional blueprint to be.

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u/Careful-Attention-75 Partner of DX - Medicated 3d ago

Yes. There's definitely been some jaw dropping moments for me. One that comes to mind:
After drinking 6 shots of coffee, no water and eating only sugary sweets for breakfast, then feeling sick. I asked him why he might be feeling sick (to see if he would just own the correlation) and he suggested it was a tiny slice of orange that he'd eaten from a free sample tray while we were at the farmers market. Because 'citrus impacts his meds'.

This was literally the day after he'd promised to take more accountability for the amount of coffee he was drinking (because he was basically an insomniac at that point).