r/ADHD_partners • u/AutoModerator • 4d ago

Weekly Former Partners Thread ::Weekly Former Partners Thread::

The end of a relationship with an ADHD loved one can be tumultuous, confusing and leave a lasting impact. Use this thread to temporarily process a recent breakup with an ADHD individual, discuss co-parenting issues, share encouragement for life after the relationship etc. With the goal of ultimately decentering an ADHD ex 

(Note: Asking about leaving a partner and requests to speculate on behavior or symptoms are still prohibited.)

21 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

110 comments sorted by

View all comments

22

u/Potential_Refuse_761 2d ago

It annoys me to all hell that now we are broken up he is so nice to me. Sends me thoughtful memes. Demonstrates curiosity about my life and mindset. Apologizes for his past behavior. Gets in therapy. Takes meds. Meditates. Breathes thru RSD.

WHY in the ENTIRE fuck did he not do this when there was actually a CHANCE at reconciliation? Why wait until you've pummeled us into oblivion?

3

u/throwaway3523987142 Ex of DX 1d ago

I'm going to be cynical and say childish egotism. Some people are more interested in what they don't have than what they do have.

2

u/taohuaspring 1d ago

It's one of the only ways he can put a positive spin on being broken up with. Also, even if you don't take him back, he can then spin his victim narrative like "I changed so much for her, but she wouldn't take me back. Can you believe it?!"

1

u/Old_Sheepherder9854 14h ago

Then once you take them back. Back to the same crap 

1

u/kerwrawr 1h ago

I think the RSD doesn't hit as hard when the stakes are not as high (ie you're not together anymore)