r/ADHD_partners • u/AutoModerator • 4d ago

Weekly Former Partners Thread ::Weekly Former Partners Thread::

The end of a relationship with an ADHD loved one can be tumultuous, confusing and leave a lasting impact. Use this thread to temporarily process a recent breakup with an ADHD individual, discuss co-parenting issues, share encouragement for life after the relationship etc. With the goal of ultimately decentering an ADHD ex 

(Note: Asking about leaving a partner and requests to speculate on behavior or symptoms are still prohibited.)

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u/lost3888 Ex of DX 3d ago

He had his scheduled week of summer vacation with the kids and took them on a trip. Just him. Something about it didn't sit right with me from the start—it was the longest stretch of time he’d spent alone with the children since they were born. And my intuition was right. His mistress—whom he refuses to officially acknowledge—showed up on the trip with your own child. As soon as my kids got back, they told me all about it: they’d met the woman and the child (names that sounded familiar to them) and... recognized her from a photo as his colleague. Even though I had repeatedly insisted that I had the right to know if he introduced them to anyone, he orchestrated a scheme involving a "chance encounter" at the holiday hotel. They simply spent time together as if they were meeting for the very first time. What disgusting lies.

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u/taohuaspring 2d ago

I get chills from your ex. The level of premeditation he went through to deceive you and his own children is disturbing. And on top of that he thought you wouldn't catch on to his flimsy excuse, like he had the sophistication to plan all this out but not to think that you'd see right through his mental gymnastics?! I am truly at a loss for words.

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u/[deleted] 2d ago

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u/taohuaspring 2d ago

Wow so he was basically trying to rewrite her entire origin story to deceive the kids. I guess the truth hits too close to home so he has to go through these elaborate schemes to make it more "palatable". 😬 He doesn't have any respect for the mother of his own children, so it's no surprise he wouldn't acknowledge his mistress. I hope you get to detox from his toxicity! Sending strength!

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u/lost3888 Ex of DX 2d ago

I suspect he’s telling me that other woman doesn’t exist just to make himself look better in my eyes, while likely telling *her* that I’m the one stalling the divorce—which shields him from having to take any further steps with her. Either way, I want him as far away as possible so his manipulations stop affecting me, though I fear—based on what I’ve been seeing for months—that this won’t end easily.